♡Hope♡
School was back in full swing and no matter how much time I wanted to spend in bed with the twins I couldn't.
I registered too late and I had to have a roommate this semester. I was sad at first but then I realized it right next to the Audio and Arts buildings which is where most of my Arts requirements are. I've been avoiding them entirely so now they've piled up.
Mom didn't want to me to take any Arts classes but they're required and I've taken all the humanities and scientific electives. She thought the arts would be a waste of time or a distraction. I wonder if she still thinks that, she did find my diary back then, I wonder if she knew I was living a crazy double life?
I sigh and open the door to my new dorm, Gem was helping with the few bags I had, it was a two bedroom with a bathroom. We'll share a common area in the middle, whoever she is.
Gem dropped my bags in one of the empty rooms. I followed her dropping the duffle I held too. All the clothes I have with me are in the one I was carrying, eveything like my fluffy blankets and plushies are in the bags Gem carried I was wearing my backpack and that's pretty much all I needed.
I know Gigi doesn't plan to let me stay here on the weekends so packed light. This was a bit of a stretch for all three of my lovers, the way they looked at me when I told them I had to move back to the dorms, you would've thought I said I wanted to throw myself into traffic.
It was fun having the option of being little whenever I really wanted, but completely regressing is hard even when we're alone, I guess I'm just anxious like that. I get small enough to feel safe, and that's really what I want, any smaller than about 8 years old is scary territory.
"What ya thinking bout', Love?" She asked pulling me out of thoughts. Her straight blond hair and unintentional monotone makes her my favorite to be quiet with.
They all have room in my life, and the quiet and cuddling is always spent with Gemini. It's our alone time, while tea parties, Playtime, and shopping is my alone time with Air. Me and Gigi usually get alone time in her office, she lets me sit on her lap while she does paperwork or computer stuff.
She a good mommy company, she explained how she gives all her baby companies money so they can make more money for her mommy company. I always end up sleeping in her arms by the time dinner is ready.
I'd split my days equaly between them and we meet up all together for dinner and family time, is what Air calls it. I'm going to miss that.
"Hopie, Baby?" She calls me with a worried crease in her brow and I look up. She was already in front of me, she's so tall and I'm so short. So I had to look up at her the closer she got. Gem doesn't emote with her face much, so seeing the change in her features makes my heart speed up. I know I'm not talking much and definitely should especially because they don't want me to stay here.
"Are you scared?" Her soft warm hands landed on my cheeks as I wrapped my arms around her waist. I shake my head with a small smile, Jazzy and Hayden are running late we're supposed to go to the opening event later tonight, so I'll be alone until they get here, with a stranger.
"No, I'm okay," I hummed pressing my face into her shirt. She gave a small nod and pressed her hands through my hair. It made me feel so calm and warm, she did it often, like a mental reset for the both of us. I'm always at least little scared of something, I guess that's why she does it so often.
"I told Seulji to just let you- never mind, I'm here, so we can cuddle, and I can stay as long you want me to," she offered as I let her go. I nodded pressing up on my toes to kiss her. She smirked before she met my lips. I was sweet and soft, innocent for s moment
Then her hand, like Gigi's, was always on a mission, she pull at the D ring on my collar, dragging me as close as possible, pulling a soft moans out for her.
I jumped braking the kiss when I noticed blue out of the corner of my eye, I looked over to see my new roommate, she didn't look please, even I Waved a bit at her.
"Great, queers," She rolled her eyes and turned around with a bad attitude. Her brunet hair was bold and dark but she looked too angry in the moment for me to describe her face effectively.
Her eyes were a peircing blue, not as bold as the Twins' green against their platinum blonde hair but it came as a close third. She's could've been pretty, maybe.
"Fuckin' bitch," Gem rolled her eyes before she turned back to me holding me in place. I didn't notice that I was backing out of her arms at the encounter. The girls had made me shrink into myself with her insults.
"Hey, I need you to get us some lunch, while I make your bed and unpack you, can you do that for me," she asked pulling in a sweet smile. But I knew what that meant she's going to have a talk. Gem only smiles when something bad is about to happen.
I went open my mouth but I closed it as she lifted her eyebrow at me, as I suspected this wasn't a request. L I have a feeling that her and my new roommate will get aquinted.
I nodded kissing her cheek before I dropped down from my tiptoes. She held up her black card and took it without question.
I shuffle out of the room and down the hall, I pass a few people from last semester, they waves me, so I wave back with a small smile. The dorm Cafe was pretty empty today, safe for a few stragglers and people working on laptops.
I stepped up to the counter, asking for a a PB&Nutella sandwich for me and a Chicken ceaser wrap for Gemini, she'd like that I think. The girl behind the counter was bright and nice, that won't last long, I give it until week three before she's burned out. The amount of people in and out of this ace on a regular university day is almost unbelievable.
Suddenly I felt a tap, I spun around quickly meeting eyes with an old high-school friend. His name was Sterling, but we called him Star.
To be fair, he was a Star.
Excitement, flooded me as I hopped onto his arms hugging him. He towered over me at six feet, his baby blue eyes were always so warm and welcoming. Jasmine used to date him in high-school we were all really close back then. Running wild.
"How have you been, I didn't know you were in the Arts dorms this year or are you here for Jazzy?" He asked looking around a bit. He still likes her, it doesn't take a genius.
I shook my head, "No, Jazzy hasn't made it to campus yet, and I registered late it was the only dorms with available rooms, I'm just grabbing lunch."
He laughed a bit and tugged at a loose hair stands. I leaned into him, his happy bright energy, he's always been this way.
"Its good you're remembering to eat on your own now, not that long ago I was handfeeding you, are you still singing?" He asked with a smirk and a blush took over my face, I haven't done anything like that since junior year. I was careless back then, impulsive, following Jazzy, I was happy to have any kind of friend back then and desprate to keep them at any cost. Result of being Chronically Alone.
"Oh god no, not since you and Jazzy split, never had a reason after that, please tell me youre majoring in music!" I hop bouncing in my tiptoes. I was the most excited I'd been in weeks, since Disney with Gigi.
He gave a nod and lolked at the floor, his blond bangs feel into his face, "yeah engineering, I'm actually an intern for Flow Records, I have a set tonight. You should come, bring Jazzy, maybe."
I opened my mouth to to say that we would be there anyway, and maybe that Jazzy has a partner, but my order was called.
I whipped around to grab the bag the bag, tapping the black card onto the terminal. Just as the transaction cleared I started to walk out if the Cafe into the hall, he followed closely.
"Um, yeah we we'll be there, Snap me the details, are you opening or closing?" I smiled at him watching him take out his phone.
"I'm opening, hopefully, my vocalist is trying to make it from across town, she should make it so I'm not worried yet, I can't wait to see you guys, Hayden keeps in touch so I know he'll be there tonight," he started to walk away as he waved at me, "I'll see you tonight, I'm sure in something pink."
I giggle at that, he hasn't changed at all.
I let a sigh rip through me softly. I've tried to forget those three years of my life, they were stressful and so much fun, but ultimately a distraction. If I remember too much I miss it.
It was before, I knew how to seperate what I wanted from what Jazzy wanted. She's always Dragged me to parties it's how she met, Sterling, and Hayden, and even her current boyfriend.
When I say we were at every party in High-school, I mean evey party, we were the party, Thanks to Star being the DJ and us performing with him.
I was unhinged back then. Careless, if my mom had caught me back then, she would've murdered me, genuinely I believe it. There would've been no way for me to recover from her wrath.
"Oh my god, was that Star!"
I startle turning to the voice, it's Jazzy. I hug her instantly squeezing her tight, of course she was in a crop top, even though it's still cold out.
"Is that his name?"
I whip around as my heart dropped. She saw me, how much did she see of me talking to him. Gigi cleared her throat and peeked past me, down at Jazzy who looked just as confused. I'd told my besties about Gigi and Twins but they hadn't met. I guess now is better than ever.
"Yeah, he's a high-school friend, Jazzy's Ex," I smiled milting into her arm that she wrapped around me.
I realized I hadn't actually introduced them yet, "Oh, Jazzy this is my girlfriend, Gigi."
They shake hands and I start to to pull them both throw the halls to meet in my room. They have to meet Roommate and Gemini, Air is working today, it totally sucks if you ask me. She would've been a blast to have tonight at the party.
***************
"Your girlfriend is tagging along, we have bestie rules, remeber?" Hayden spoke softly fixing my new choker. I decided that it away going to act as a collar for the night.
I chuckled, "Not tagging along, she just so happens to be meeting a friend here, a professor."
Jazzy stuffed her phone into her bra as we opened the door to the cubroom. It was crowded for the first night back on campus, we start classes tomorrow to going to get actually blasted is dumb. I think that's why most of the people on campus are here. Even from Greek Street, I saw Emily instantly she was hard to miss at her height and physique.
"Are you still drooling after that Frat girl, dude, you have three hot chicks for the plucking and you're eyeing up a FRAT GIRL!" Hayden laughed and pushed me a bit. The music was loud but not live yet. It made for good conversations.
"Not drooling, admiring, she's build like Gigi don't ya think?" I asked Jazzy, grabbing a soda off the snack table we passed. She shrugged and her lack of words made us look at her, she was holding herself as she stared up at the stage.
DJ StarBoi
Star's stage name was on every screen all around the room. She suddenly looked so forlorn, I think she misses him too.
"Have you talked to him since what happened?" Hayden asked pulling us to a table. He and Star were close they were both apart of the same sports teams, they know the same people, Hang out at the same places, buddies in evey right of the word, this must be hard for him.
She shook her head and rolled her eyes, pulling in her tough exterior, "I blocked him on everything, even Spotify, if he wants to talk to me he'll have to do it via pigeon."
I looked up and saw him coming towards us, weaving through the thick crowd, "what if he just walked up?"
I pointed behind her, her eyes went wide as she turned around only to be met directly by him. He looked so hopeful but worried, I knew that look, it's marked a few bad parties.
"I really need you guys, you're genuinely my last hope," he sat a an envelope onto the party table. We all knew what it was and how much and exactly how to split it.
But we haven't done this in so long. I felt my leg start to shake and my first instinct was to decline but before I could, Jazzy grabbed the pack and opened it.
"Three stacks of twenties, do you remember E-boy, Alone, and Hello Kitty, those are always popular," she asked he nodded and she looked at us, how could I forget those they were crowd pleasers.
"Come on, let's go, at least we match today," She pulled us both along to the side of the stage, Hayden huffed, "contact you via pigeon huh, there's no way you're still dick-matized by him!"
I rolled my eyes, fine, I know these songs it'll be fast and fun. I wrote these songs, I can sing them backwards and forwards. Besides Gigi isn't even here yet, she'll never see it, its just the opener.
I pull the sound equipment on and take a microphone. I used to have the pink one, my heart was pounding as I played with my pink pleated skirt, then suddenly I remembered what it felt like to be up there in front of people screaming for more, reaching, dancing, having the time of their lives because of us.
Star started to talk introducing the set and us, "Hello, it's the first day back and in Mamazoo Tradition it's time for the live open. This event is sponsored by a proud supporter of our university, Flow Records!"
Everyone cheered before he continued.
"Me, I'm DJ StarBoi, and today I'll be reintroducing a group some of you for sure know, give it up for XyberDrugz!" He screamed starting our first set in two and half years.
The crowd was pretty healthy with cheers, I guess we were popular but only on the internet really. I wouldn't call it fame but It was definitely influence.
I followed everyone on and they cheered for us, smiled letting the baby pink lights glow on me for my intro, I'm always last, I'm the youngest.
"AND Finally Mamazoo's Sweetie, Singer-Songwriter, BabyGirl!"
As if I would use my real name, performing shows for drunk kids all over the city, I couldn't risk it getting back to mom. Hope is not a common name in the state of Washington.
I waved getting tons of cheers and whistles, a blush took over as our first song started , Jazzy loves to eat up the crowds energy, and of course Hyden and I do too. It gets you drunk, and eggs you one.
"This is our favorite song it's called E-Boy!" Jazzy yelled and everyone started to cheer too. There were a few professors I recognized and most of them looked shocked. I can't say I've ever been noticeable in this school.
That's on purpose.
I skipped around the stage as I started the song, Jazzy started to dance on me as we sang together harmonizing with and against the mesmerizing beats and synth.
Hayden did his verse taking off his shirt the way we always practiced. Jazzy and I always end up grinding by the end of the stage. The last verse was a three part harmony with me leading.
Do you wanna be my e-boy, baby?
Watch me naked, you can't take it
I promise you that I'm not faking
Cyber-sexing at 3 a.m.
You could my e-boy
Kiss me through the screen, boy
Give it all to me boy, yeah
Watch me using all my toys
Do you wanna be my e-boy?
I was huffing and when the music faded away, I smiled to the crowd only to catch two heads of Platinum blonde hair. I held the smile no matter how badly I wanted to cringe. They weren't supposed to see this, at all.
I dashed off the stage, Alone, is a duet for Jazzy and Hayden. I wrote it with Hayden, with Jazzy in mind for the chorus.
I looked back at Star, with his headphones dancing while he mixed the beats on his drum pad. He made this happen, he made us with his Hyperpop, Acidpop.
I walk down the stage stairs but I'm intersected by my girlfriends.
"Hey, Gem and Air, you guys aren't supposed to be here!" I laugh to myself as I try to dash past them. I'm stopped immediately by Gem, her finger in the loop of the chain closing my collar.
I sigh and turn around, I open my mouth to say something but, Air pulls me forward into a kiss, it immediately makes me moan and I grip her sweater before I'm let go.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't help it, you just looked so edible!" She apologized fixing my crop top and skirt. Thank God, I picked spacebuns for today. Pigtailes would've been fizzy and mess from dancing in them. I smiled at her kissing her cheek.
Gem smikred at me, tugging at my collar,"Why didn't you tell us you did-Well that. Mamazoo's Sweetie, Babygirl."
"And songwriter?" Air quipped in, her hair was curled today. She must have just come from home. I did tell them about the event, but I wouldn't have If I knew we were performing.
"Yeah, you wrote that, Baby, what're you doing in Biochemistry studying dead people. You obviously belong on a stage, I don't know maybe I'm biased," Gemini smirked, kissing my lips before I realized my que was coming up.
I let go of her putting my hands up for a second, "I have to go, it's the last song, it's my solo."
They nodded and just as I hopped on the stage the crowd went crazy again.
It was the first song I wrote with Sterling. He had a cute machine that made game sounds and it was for a grade.
It's about this girl, Katrina that I had a disgusting crush on. I guess it's a love, more like a worship song to her, but I couldn't be a weirdo she was definitely my awaking as a lesbian.
No one on this earth will ever know that she's Kitty.
I thought it was the dumbest thing ever and Star promised that only his class would hear it, but it turned out to be a complete hit and after that eveyone wanted us at their party.
I did the cute dance I always did, Jazzy helped make it up, blowing kisses to the cutest boys or girl I saw in the crowd, winking, pointing, popping to the beat.
The last verse came up and Jazzy hopped on stage to sing it with me making me even more energetic, the crowd was singing along too. And I looked at the bar almost faltering but I cover it by Blowing a kiss to Gigi. She was making a face I'd never seen before, I couldn't place the emotion.
I danced with Jazzy for the beat drop and we finished up in harmony.
She's so gorgeous, girly cute
Yeah, I just wanna wear the shit that all the girlies do
And I swear, swear it to the God above
That no one else compares to the way I love....
But I did my ending and I just so happen to be wearing a hello kitty charm bracelet from Hottopic. I did a cute spin tossing it into the crowd.
Hayden join us on the Stage still shirtless and covered in body glitter. We bowed as they screamed and cheered for us.
I took off my headphones and Microphone leaving the quipment by the stage as pushed my way through the crowed to get to the bar.
I could barely se and ran right into someone, I looked up with big eyes. She looked down at me with the sweetest smile but I didn't like it. She wasn't supposed to see that. That was the most emotional song I've ever made.
If I could fold into myself I would.
"If I knew you liked Hello Kitty so much you'd have way more gifts from us featuring her," she kissed my head guiding me out of the event space.
Suddenly just behind us, the doors burst open and Jazzy and Hayden came running. The twins with them, probably ready to leave they most likely showed up with Gigi.
"Babygirl, you almost forgot your cut," Hayden said, handing me my stack of money.
"He gave extra for the short notice, I convinced him a hundred more!" She danced and did a spin and a bow. I think we all missed being up there.
I would've done it for a donut.
My first naming price when I leg Star use my song and vocals for his project, the thing that got us here, a donut.
"Tell her the rest, Jaz," Hayden nudged her and she smiled almost hesitating.
"A producer Star is working with at Flow Records wants to pick us up part time, for a mixtape."
A what!?
*******