Dear Ros,
Dont cry when you get this letter! Lol. Abby accepts your apology, although she says there's no need. She understands. She says you must be pretty whipped. Is that true? :)
Another week has come and gone. I do have some news to share. You may not be too happy to hear, but remember that night you had to come and get me? Well, I had to go back to that house. Before you start, I know how dangerous it is but I had to start somewhere. I didn't find her, but I left message with some people there so hopefully it reaches her.
I like socks. Since you've obviously been shopping for the both of us. Socks are the little thing that makes me happy. Dont judge me. I love that though. It makes me feel special that you're changing your world around all for me. Making room for me. Its very sweet. Soooo, a few things in your letter I want to address. As much as I would loveeee to have those photos of you, it may not be the best idea. You know how shitty my luck can be. God forbid Abby loses the letter or something. That's the absolute last thing we need to worry about right now so let's just let the anticipation build okay?
Watch our family grow a size or two huh? Is that something you want in the near future? We should probably talk about that face to face. I never really thought about having kids of my own. I would probably be scared of fucking it up. But I know if they have a mother like you it'll out weigh any bad I could possibly do. Let me make it to twenty one first though. Then we can have as many babies as your heart desires. I have no doubt you'll be the most amazing mom ever. I actually can't wait to see it.
I'm glad I can make you feel—everything. It makes me happy to know my efforts in trying my best to love you properly dont go unnoticed. I'm trying to love you the best way I know how. I plan on spending even more time learning you. Learning your love language so I can ensure I'm giving you what you need. That's my only goal. To fulfill all of your needs so that you will never need to seek out another. It still scares me a little. I find myself battling my own insecurities sometimes also. Wondering if I'm truly enough for you. Thinking I may only be in your way. A hindrance of sorts. A means of simply filling a void until the person you're meant to be with comes along. But that's not on you so don't take it that way. Its just me in my head again. I think we both need to take let go of these negative scenarios we make up in our head. That always makes us question this relationship. Its not healthy for either of us. Take a few deep breaths and learn to be confident in the love we share. Its so strong. Most importantly, its not going anywhere. But should your cup ever seem empty, let me know, yeah? I'll do whatever it takes to fill you up again.
How have you been lately? Anything new happening? I hope you're still taking care of yourself. And not letting what's going on with me stop you from enjoying your day to day. How's Elizabeth? Have you seen her lately? If not, take her out to dinner or something. Catch up with your friend. Get out of the house. Just don't become so engulfed in my issues you forget to take care of yourself. Your happiness is important also. Whether I'm around or not. It's important to water your own garden. Maintain some sense of normalcy.
You should have seen the ridiculous smile on my face when you talked about wearing your ring. I'm so happy you like it. It means a lot to me that you wear it everyday. I could only hope that one day I'll be able to replace it with something more.. permanent? Maybe thats another topic we would have to discuss face to face. Oh, I would love to take a trip with you this summer! Where do you want to go? I've never been anywhere so I'll follow your lead wherever you want to go. It'll be so much fun, I'm sure. I have a lot saved up so the world is our oyster. Keep crossing those days off baby. I'll pick up a calendar and do the same. It'll all be over in no time.
I hope you know how much I truly appreciate you and everything you do for me. Honestly. Never could I have imagined this for myself. You've been so understanding and it means the world to me. Thank you for having faith in me. I miss you tremendously and Im hoping to see you soon.
And of course my love.
It'll always be you.
-C