Lisa's cold war with Yeonjun lasted till the last day of the province skating championship.
The last day was the figure skating finals. Lisa sat in a corner of the audience. She wore a hat and a mask and had wrapped herself in thick layers like a dumpling.
There was numerous figure skating fans in the audience. When they saw Yeonjun appear, they burst into applause. Yeonjun had once clinched gold in the National Youth's Singles. Though he was not as well-known as some famed athletes, there were still many people closely following his news. Recently, someone claimed to have bought his gold medal on Idle Fish. This was voted by a certain forum to be one of the top ten jokes of the year.
Yeonjun's face was pale and he appeared tired. When Lisa saw him like this, she began to feel self-reproach. Perhaps she should not have taken her anger out on him. After all, it was not his fault for having a strong-willed and overbearing mother. He was a victim himself rather than being an accomplice.
Yeonjun's song choice for his free stake today was a jazz piece. Though the music was rich, sensual and riveting, he executed a performance awash with melancholy. Lisa was no expert in music but she could sense that he was not happy. She felt extremely upset and was overwhelmed with the urge to rush down and apologize to him.
She was still feeling torn over this when suddenly, Yeonjun's skates slipped against the ice at the end of a triple Axel jump. He fell towards the ice uncontrollably.
Crash Lisa seemed to hear the heavy thud of fragile human body ramming against the icy hard surface.
She leapt to her feet.
Figure skating was as dangerous as it was beautiful. When athletes land in the midst of a fast spin, they must bear an impact that is several times their weight. One could imagine the pain that Yeonjun was feeling now.
Nevertheless, without hesitation, he immediately climbed to his feet and continued skating.
While some people were silent, there were a greater number of people who were clapping.
....
After the competition was over, Lisa wanted to find Yeonjun. However, she saw him waved to his mom. She sighed, got up and left.
When Lisa returned to her dorm at night, she spotted Yeonjun standing outside the dormitory building.
Wearing a tracksuit, he stared blankly into space as he stood under the street light. As usual, his figure was tall and slender but his side profile appeared pale and drawn.
As Lisa approached, he happened to turn and their eyes met.
After staring at each other for a while, the two of them spoke at the same time.
"I'm sorry".
"I'm sorry".
Lisa scratched her head uncomfortably and asked. "Why are you apologizing?"
Yeonjun was stumped for a moment. He said, "I'm apologizing for my mom. Though I'm not sure what she said to you....Lisa, please don't be angry anymore".
"I'm fine". Lisa shook her head. "Actually, I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you. My bad". Lisa felt a little sheepish after her apology. She shifted her gaze away from him to a distant grass patch in the dark.
Yeonjun watched her face without saying a word. Once again, silence fell between them.
The silence stayed till Lisa remembered what happened to him earlier. She opened her mouth and asked. "Does your body still hurt?"
"Mm, but you still have to see the doctor. It's quite common to fall while figure skating. So many world-famous athletes have fallen before; don't take it to heart".
"Lisa", Yeonjun suddenly called her name.
"Mm?" Lisa returned her gaze to his face. She felt that his eyes were troubled and not as clear and soft as usual. Seeing him this way, she felt an inexplicable sadness.
Yeonjun asked Lisa, "Between your dream and love, if you can only choose one, what would you choose?"
Lisa opened her mouth and suddenly understood his dilemma. A surge of unhappiness welled up in her heart. She looked him in the eyes and in a somewhat dismayed tone, asked, "Can't we choose to have both?"
"No".
Lisa thought about it seriously for a moment. Finally, she gave a heavy sigh. "I'll probably choose my dream".
____
When Lisa revised with Jungkook that night, she was distracted and kept staring blankly into space.
Jungkook only thought that she was exhausted and said, "Go to bed if you're tired".
Lisa snapped out of her daze, propped her chin on a hand and looked at him.
Jungkook liked how she watched him attentively like this it was if there was only him in her eyes.
"Jungkook, let me ask you a question". Lisa said.
"Shoot".
"If you can only choose one between your dream and love, what would you choose?"
Jungkook watched Lisa with narrowed eyes and asked, "Why are you asking this?" Could it be that this brat wanted to give up her dreams for Yeonjun? Well, done.
Lisa pressed him for a reply, "Quick, tell me what you would choose".
Jungkook shook his head after mulling over the question for a moment. "It's trick question. There's only one correct answer that you're forced to choose".
"Oh?"
"The cost of choosing one is to give up the other, isn't it?"
Lisa nodded, "Yes".
"If you give up love for your dream, you'll attain your dream; but if you give up your dream for love, you'll end up with nothing".
Lisa was bewildered. "Why?"
"Because if you give up your dream for love, you'll end up pinning the loss of this dream on your love. You'll feel that you gave up so much for this person. The further you drift away from your dream, the greater the resentment towards your love. Little by little, any affection would be worn away till nothing is left". Like a professional swindler, Jungkook had a wise and profound look on his face. After he said this, he added, "Trust me, such is human nature".
Lisa felt that what Jungkook said made a lot of sense. She became even more depressed and asked Jungkook, "Jungkook, do you have a dream?"
"When I was young, my dream was to bully you".
Lisa was speechless. "Can you stop mentioning the past....what about now? What's your dream now?"
"My dream now...." The way Jungkook said this was loaded with meaning. Hw lowered his head and curved up both sides of his lips. He smiled without saying a word.
My dream now is still to bully you.
____
A few days later, Yeonjun would be heading to Beijing to participate in the Grand Prix of China. He asked Lisa if she could send him off.
He always hoped to receive the same treatment as Jungkook and kept trying to compete with him.
Lisa sent Yeonjun to the airport. There, the two of them had lunch.
They had beef ramen for their meal. It was too salty and not tasty at all.
Later on, in many days to come, this meal would be one etched in Yeonjun's memory. It was salty to the point of being painful. Inedible, even. However, he slowly ate everything in tiny bites, reluctant for the meal to end.
After they finished eating, they sat facing each other at the table in silence.
Silence had become the norm between them since an unknown period of time ago. It seemed as if something had thoroughly changed but both of them were unwilling to face this fact.
Yeonjun suddenly took out a box from his bag and pushed it in front of Lisa.
"What's this?" Lisa asked.
"It's for you. Open and have a look".
Lisa opened the box and found a vintage copper world globe in it. The world globe was exquisitely made and with a soft brush of her fingers, began to spin livelily.
Lisa continued to lightly spin the globe. "This looks like it has some years on it".
"Mm, it's my grandfather's birthday gift to me when I was five".
Lisa was puzzled. "Why are you giving me this?"
Yeonjun lowered his head and suddenly smiled at some unknown thoughts. "Actually, from young till now, my biggest dream is to travel the world. I want to travel to every country that exists and see for myself how people all over the globe live".
Lisa was stunned.
"I startled learning figure skating at six. Everyone said that I was a prodigy. Being a prodigy means that you can't fail to live up to everyone's expectations. You have to work even harder and put in even more effort. My energy is all poured into figure skating. I don't have any chance to go out and explore the world at all". At this point, Yeonjun exhaled and gave a resigned smile. "Figure skating is not my dream but it is a dream that many others hold. That's why I'll persevere on".
Lisa felt a wave of sadness and comforted him. "There'll definitely be chances for you to travel the world in the future".
Yeonjun lowered his head and looked at the time, "Let's go".
Lisa sent him to the security gate. When they were about to part, Yeonjun asked, "Lisa, can I hug you?"
Lisa immediately went forward and enveloped him in a hug.
Yeonjun hugged her tightly. He closed his eyes and drew in a fervent breath, losing himself in the warmth of the moment.
"Lisa", Yeonjun suddenly called her name.
"Mm?"
"I...."
I like you.
At first sight. At second sight, I found myself liking you even more.
I've seen you happy and I've seen you sad. I've seen you arrogant and I've seen you crestfallen. I've seen you mischievous and I've seen you furious. Regardless of your mood, I like them all.
I really like you.
And now I have to give you up.
"I'm going". Yeonjun inhaled deeply and in the end, said nothing else.
"Mm. Have a safe trip".
Yeonjun let go of her and took hold of his luggage. He turned and walked towards the security gates. As he left, Lisa heard him whispered, "I'm sorry".
I'm sorry, for giving you up.
As Lisa watched his leaving figure, her eyes reddened. She suddenly called out, "Yeonjun".
Yeonjun body stilled.
"You know what?" Lisa said behind him, "Anyone else would have made the same decision. You don't have to apologize".
Yeonjun turned and gazed at her. "Lisa, do you feel a sharp pain in your chest?"
"I...."
"If you don't feel your chest ache, It means that you never liked me".
Lisa was startled.
"Lisa, don't try to fool yourself".