Author's note:
So my good friend here @KaeriWilliams,
just started to right her own #CaKe story.
Read it guys! it's DOPE AF!
its entitled "Guardian Angel"
Thanks! xx.
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"Babe, please. I told you she's just no one. She's one of those friends of a friend of a friend." She explains. I didn't respond. I knew there's something she is hiding. I know there's more to it. Every time I ask her what it was to "like", she just apologizes or changes the topic, and I am not good with it.
I just stare blankly, sitting on the couch, not saying anything, not doing anything, making her feel like I don't even care. I just want her to tell me the truth. Arguing with her seems isn't the right way, so I give up.
"Babe, just talk to me. Please. Please. Pleeeeeaaasseee." she says softly, looking straight into my eyes, kneeling in front of me, her hands rest on my thighs. She's really pleading, but I won't talk to her, until she tells me the truth about Annie or anything I felt she's been hiding.
She breathes deep. "I thought you trust me. Guess I'm wrong. If you're ready to talk to me, call me or something. But I am not giving up on you, babe." She said softly kinda having difficulty. I was stunned, why would she even think of that, I trust her. She stood up, and left me, in my apartment, alone.
That was the first time she left me, and it hurts like hell. I've left her for a couple of times and I didn't know it hurts like these. Does she felt like these every time I left her before?
It's like I am stuck in a box, no air, and suffocated. My chest hurts. I am begging for air to breathe, like in any second now, my body would just collapse. My lips tremble, my vision becomes blurry from all the tears threatening to spill out. I could feel the lump in my throat and that just made my breathing more uneven. Tears started to fall. I can't breathe anymore.
I want to scream. I want to run after her. I want to say sorry. I want to say how much I love her. I want to say that I trust her, I really, really do. I want to hug her, very tight. I want to kiss her, deeply. I want to hold her, forever. I want to feel the warmth of her body against mine. I want to smell her sweet scent that I loved. I want to argue with her. I want to tease her. I want to play games with her. I want to learn COD (Call of Duty) with her. I want to cook her bacon for her. I just want to be with her, that's all I really, really want. I need her.
I think my body cannot endure all the hurt. I lay on the couch, my eyes slowly closing, my breathing started to even. And all was black, all of a sudden.
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I was at my room, trying to call Cara. It's almost midnight now; she's still not coming home. She's not answering my calls. Her phone better be dead. I tried to call Rita. Finally! Someone answered!
"hello babe." She says.
"Hi. Ahm. Do you happen to know where Cara is? I've been calling her for some time now, but she isn't answering."
"Oh babe. Cara went here a while ago; she's like troubled or something. Did something happen between you two?" she asks. I know I can trust her, so I told her we kinda argued and then Cara left.
"Ohhhh. That's why; I can't really talk to her. She's like really troubled babe. But she kind off left immediately, like in a rush. She left me no words on where would she be tho. I'm sorry babe." She says.
Now I don't know where she is. I am getting really worried here. I know she has a lot of friends, but what if something happened.
"But babe, try Annie." Rita suggested. That ANNIE again!
"Do you know her number?" I say. I am doing anything just to find her to talk to her.
"Yes babe. I'll forward it to you."
"Thank you very much Rita. You don't know how big this means for me."
"Anything for you. And this is really the first time I've seen Cara so down. I know the first time I saw you two that she is really into you. I've never seen her to be that happy before, after she met you. I remember her telling the story on how you two met. You're all she's talking about every damn time." She says.
I know that, because I am like that. I don't stop talking about her. I don't stop thinking of her, every second of every day.
I thanked Rita then hang up. She forwarded me Annie's phone number. I thank I have someone like Rita, someone that knows me and all other Cara's friends and besties.
I breathe deep, I don't want Cara to be with Annie but I am getting worried. And just for this time, I wish Cara to be with her. I don't know her, never seen her, but I think she's a good person for Cara to be even friends with her. I wish Cara's okay. I really just want to be with her. Just to see her, or touch her, or to breathe the same air as her.
I dialed Annie's number, it rang. Actually, it rang a couple of times, still no answer. The last time, I dialed it again, it just keeps on ringing. Still no answer. What the actual hell!
What if Cara already gave up on me? What if she reached her limit? What if she doesn't love me anymore? What if she found someone that will love her better than me? Someone that won't leave her nor hurt her. Someone that will trust her. Someone that will understand her which is not me. Just thinking of all that makes me sick. It makes me want to just go on one corner and cry.
My eyes started to fill with tears. I am like literally crying almost a day now. My eyes are puffy and very red.This was all my fault! She thinks I don't trust her so maybe she had found someone that could trust her more than I do. I am always the one who's in fault. I give up on her easily, I get mad easily, I get jealous, A LOT, I assume things that isn't even happening.
If she left me, like for real now, I do not know where to even begin with, or to start on how to move on. She's like my ray of sunshine, my air, my girl, my everything. She makes me laugh when I don't even want to smile. She always try her hardest just to make sure I am okay. She had sacrificed so much and I don't or haven't even done anything special for her.
My phone began to vibrate, she's calling, Cara. Thank God! I just really want to hear her voice to know she's okay. To breathe again. I answer it quickly.
"Hello babe." I say. She laughs, I feel like she's drunk. She's saying things I can't even understand. She just kept on laughing and it's like she's talking to someone.
"Babe, where are you?" I ask. She just laugh it off again. This is the first time I think she is this drunk.
"Babe please." I say again. She laughs again then said, "Now you want to talk to me?" she says. "Babe, just listen to me. I am very, very sorry babe. Please. Tell me where you are, I'll go there and we'll come home together. You are really drunk babe. Please." I plead.
"You know what Kendall! I am done putting up with your bullshit. You don't trust me. I think you don't even ever loved me. You gave up on me easily. You left me so many damn times. You don't ever listen to me. You are selfish! You only think of yourself! You don't think on how much I get hurt every time you do that! I have sacrificed so many things for you! and what did you ever do for me? huh? I gave my all to you and I didn't even had anything back! I already lost myself to you, I don't want my soul to be trapped praising and loving you too. I am so done with you Kendall, we . . . are . . . OVER!" she exclaimed.
Everything I've been plotting to say was gone. Everything just came crashing down. Everything I thought we would be doing together is gone now. Now I am alone, all of our plans, our promises, our i love you's , ARE GONE!
"No.. . noooooo... nooooo! Cara you can't do that to me! I love you! Bubba! You can't just break up on me! You can't just left me! Tell me where you are and we'll talk and fix this! " I manage to say in between sobs. I won't give up on her. I won't!
"I can. and. . . I would. Goodbye, Kendall." she says, then hangs up on me.
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Author's Note (again):
How was it guys?
I'm sorry for not updating for a very long period of time!
And READ "Guardian Angel" !!!