I wander up a back staircase. I evaluate myself as I climb the spiraling hall full of windows. Am I being stupid? Unfair? I'm only trying to support Brad. I love Jace, and I loved Brad. I know who I'm supposed to be with. But the past is haunting me. How do I let go?
I pass row after row of windows, which flicker moonlight across my face. My feet climb the second flight of stairs. The winding stairwell is semi-dark, touched with pale blue light. The pin I hold reflects in my hand. Do I part with Brad? I sincerely believe he had no control over his fury. Why else is he in AA?? I wouldn't date him again.
I've contemplated it...but my world is with Jace. The cabin dream. The certainty of our confession...our connection. Even the way he dug until he found my interest in life. Jace isn't just with me; he's aiding my growth. I don't think I can blow that to bits for Brad. I have to say goodbye. I should have done this after the abuse.
I was still blinded. I was trapped. Lil must have seen this; that's why she hid my phone. She saw the truth. My bestie knew I deserved better. Why didn't I see this? Why don't I see it now? What's wrong with me?! Brad almost raped me! He's a monster. An evil, cruel, mean, aggressive brute. Why isn't that enough to walk away?! Why can't I ban him from my life?!
I make it to the last step and open a door to the roof. The wind ripples my hair as if I'm skydiving. My bare feet step onto the cold stone. I hug my arms. My sleep gown flattens to my body like second skin. I go to the gazebo. The castle-esque structure. The view of the ocean beyond takes my breath away. This is my home now. Why am I messing this up? Jace is mad at me. He thinks I don't love him. Why can't he see I'm struggling? Why can't he see that I can't let go as fast as he wants me to?
It isn't my fault. I can't control my heart...or how my mind keeps revisiting my time with Brad. I can't flip off a switch and move on. Not yet, anyway. It hasn't even been 3 months. I need more time. This should be obvious. Do I have to tell him the exact words? "I'm a mess...so work with me here?"
That'll probably piss Jace off even more. He's never stormed out on me. That's new. Jace is usually well-mannered. This was a boiling point. I hope he forgives me. I drape my arms past the railings and puff out air. There's about a hundred foot drop from the roof to the courtyard. I should let it fall.
I eye the badge in my hand. I should...but I know I'll go and get it. It wouldn't be gone for good. Burning it is too dramatic...I could sink it. I have to do something...friendship won't work. There's too much conflict. I want it gone. I close my eyes and take a huge whiff of air. I'll do the right thing. I have to. I withdraw my phone. Within Snapchat, I unblock Brad. Then I call. It's 1 am...but I don't care. This has to be done. This is up to me...I must do what's best.
"Maddy?" Brad's voice is froggy. I woke him up.
"I'm calling to let you know that I'm glad you're bettering yourself. I hope you learn from your actions and never do what you did to anyone else."
"This sounds like a goodbye..."
My lashes fight off tears. "It is..."
"I made a mistake...I don't know what's going on with me, but I'm correcting it. Maddy, I never did anything like that before. I want answers too; that's why I'm in AA." He states forlornly. "Yes, I have a temper. I've always had one since I was a kid. It comes with being the youngest. I yelled and fussed until I got my way, but I never assaulted anyone before. You have to believe me."
"I can't...you became someone else. You got aggressive."
"Oh, and Jace hasn't? Everyone knows he's behind the driver's death. You're accepting him but can't do the same for me??"
"That's not the same...I wasn't hurt by him."
"You said I was evil for what I did...he's not evil for killing someone?!"
He has a point, but I'm not excusing him. "I'm not applauding Jace for killing."
"No...you're rewarding him...moving in with him, too. I've seen the airport pictures. All the things you think I am, you should think he is. But you have double standards. I'm pretty sure the money keeps you from complaining!" He hisses.
I throw daggers at the phone. "It's doesn't!"
"I never took you for a gold digger...I thought you were better than that."
I chew the inside of my jaw. Is he serious?? That's ugly and low. He's not worth the drama. "We're over...goodbye Brad." I block him and delete the app. Why would he accuse me of being a gold digger? Out of all things?! I'm not with Jace because of his money. Like my mom said, that's a perk. It's not the main reason. When I found out he was a billionaire, I didn't chase after him.
Brad is being ugly! I'm not rewarding Jace for murder. I didn't excuse the act. I still don't know how to wrap my mind around that. My ex has no clue what he's talking about! Whatever...he's out of my life. I said my part. Now I need to think ahead. This pin has to go. Holding onto someone terrible has to go. I'll throw it into the ocean.
I try to go to the beach at sunrise, but a drone blocks my path. "Good morning Ms. Hart. The host has grounded you."
"Grounded?" Jace has lost his fucking mind!
"Yes, until he arrives home, you are not allowed out."
"No, I'm going to the beach." I power walk past it like a soldier on a mission.
"Dear guest, please return home."
"Or what?!" I shout back. "Try to stop me." I stomp onward. Just when I'm trying to do the right thing, something else comes along. I'm not a child. He can't ground me!
"You are unsafe; please return." The bot drives after me.
"I'm on the voice command, right? So shut yourself down. Power off." My phone rings. It's Jace. I don't have time for more drama. I let it ring on until it drops. A text zoops my phone.
Jace: Where are you going?
Me: To the beach.
Jace: Animals roam there after a bad storm. Please go back inside.
Hmm...Is this true, or is he saying this so I do as he wants? Me: A drone is with me; aren't they all gunned up?
Jace: Yes...still, I don't want you out there.
I stop in my tracks and snap a picture of the button. Me: I'm getting rid of it. I won't be out long.
When he doesn't respond, I press on. The drone acts as a bodyguard; it speeds ahead, probing the entire area with green light. A 360 radius. What kind of animals are out here to have Jace so scared? It is an island...are there Gorillas? Lions? Jaguars? Bats? Or something worse? I grow cautious of my surroundings.
My eyes jump to every rustle in the trees, every flapping bird, every small critter. The drone is quicker than I am at detecting these noises; by about 5 seconds. I guess its radar has an infrared sensor. Seals sunbathe on the beach. I'm hesitant to walk to the shore. The mammals are laid out in groups and don't pay me any mind. Their eyes are closed. Are they asleep...or dead? I reach the shore and slosh into the water.
The drone blares an alarm. "A shoal of great white sharks located 1 mile out. Return to the shoreline."
I hustle out of the water like a track star. I'll just fling it out. I wanted to add pebbles to it to sink it, but the sea will carry it away just fine. I cock my arm back and flick the pin as far as possible. It flies about 10 feet away.
The relief of seeing the bad reminder flying away from me, from my life...from my world, is holy. It's as if my sins have been taken with it...as if I've been baptized. The connection is leaving...it's not gone completely, but it's fading. The metal badge get swept away in the rough current. The universe could have washed it back my way, but it didn't. My faith isn't with Brad.
"Let's head back home."
I pick out a new dancing dress at the mall—an off-pink sequined v-neck with a feather bottom. There's a matching choker necklace as well. I think it's made of rubies.
In the ballroom, I practice my footwork and posture. Quick, quick, slow, quick, quick, slow. My legs work right foot, back to side, closed. Forward to side, closed, back to side forward, forward to side closed. My arms are like a puppet's, high, bent, and steady.
I do 5 reps of this before testing my hip movements for cha-cha. The feathers on the dress have so much body; each has its own wind. I twirl across the room. My phone rings. I break my form and go to answer. It's Lil. "Hey, twinsy."
"No...we're being called stripper couple by the media."
"Huh?"
"Remember, my YouTube channel?" I ponder on this, trying to recall it. "Yeah, me neither. I only posted one video. Somehow, that video is everywhere now."
"Wait, what video?"
"I filmed our first dance session."
"Oh, no..." I press at my temples.
"Sorry, I was excited."
"Which dance is out?" Lil doesn't respond right away. I sense her reluctance. "You said stripper...oh god, not the pole dancing!"
"It'll blow over." I hear the cringe in her voice. "You're allowed to hate me."
"Who leaked it?"
"I don't know, maybe crazy fans. I don't get how my username was found. It's random as hell. GlitterSparklesKitty2000. Who figured that out?"
"Oh, no...how bad is it?"
"We look hot, don't worry."
"What if Jace sees it? Or my parents?!" I fret.
"Umm...well, your mom won't be that shocked...your dad will be uncomfortable. Jace might actually think it's a turn-on."
"Or he might find it trashy," I complain. "God, I wish it could disappear! He's already upset with me."
"He is?"
"Quick recap, Brad popped up at my place trying to get me back. Jace saw his messages on snap and went off. I officially cut him off last night."
"Oh, damn..."
"Yeah."
"Good, Maddy, you did the right thing."
"I know..." My cheeks go scarlet. "I love Jace."
"AHHH!!!" I hold the phone away from my ear. "O M G!!!!"
"He said it first."
"Holy shit!"
"I know, right??!"
"So, the V-card has been mentioned?"
"Yeah, I told him. Now he thinks I'm too sacred to touch. We have new boundaries."
"Oh, come on, seriously??! Are you not from the 21st century?"
"Right?! It's so crazy."
"What if he's doing this because you're kinkier than him?"
"I hope not. If that's the reason, then this video will have me on lockdown."
"And in chains like an animal. Couple goals."
"What are people saying about the video?"
"It doesn't matter. Ignore it."
"I can't." I navigate to Twitter. "Everyone is seeing it..." My name is number one trending. 1.2 million tweets.
"Stay away, girl. It'll only raise your blood pressure."
"How can I? I'm being dragged."
"By people who need a life, dismiss their words."
I click.
The word gold digger is tweeted constantly on the live feed. A sudden realization seizes my mind. Brad called me a gold digger! Did he do this?? No...no, that's pretty fast if it's true. The news of this had to come out before our phone call.
I read the time stamp: 7 hours ago. That was before I broke it off. No way Brad got in contact with the media that fast! This is the doing of the media, not him. Any woman who goes for a rich man is always called a gold digger. Little do they know, I constantly rejected Jace. He had to command a date.
"Don't read any comments."
"How did they find that selfie?"
"Who knows...snoopers gonna snoop."
"Maybe my Facebook...but it's private."
"Let's not dwell on it. Has he popped the question?"
I'm too tempted, so I scroll down to the comments:
Gold digger indeed; she's using her victimhood to trap him. Evil trick.
Guys, she's a bartender. He's with her for the shots 😝🍆💦
"Maddy...what are you doing?"
Pity sex turned trap; that girl isn't innocent. She probably manipulated Jace. It's weird how he decreased from hot ass chicks to a fucking plain Jane!
I think she sought him out somehow after her accident and used her injury to sink her claws in 🙄
Stripper bitch doesn't deserve to be near an empire 👿
"Maddy, delete Twitter."
Geez, guys, y'all don't know their situation stop speculating 😤😤 and there's nothing wrong with being a stripper.
Idk...she seems down to earth to me; I don't get the hate. She did a dance class, so what???
I think she's nice, just misunderstood...ppl act like the media isn't propaganda.
That's a hit it and quit it.
She looks too nice to be that type.
Because it's an act, that girl is malicious.
That's a skank
White trash!
Hoe!
Eww...she doesn't have the body for it 😂💀💀 . This user links the YouTube video
Jace gonna wake up soon and go for better 😌
Chick is a 3; wtf is wrong with JH🤔🤡
Damn...STRY stocks are down 55% 🙀 He fucked up with this ho 😬
"I need to go." I speak shakily.
"Maddy, don't."
I power off my phone and toss it across the room. It hits a wall and platters to the floor. "Ugh!" I clutch the side of my head. I know I'm not much to talk about; the hits at my appearance aren't what's pissing me off. The one comment about Jace leaving is what's bothering me. As I said before, I'm already on his wrong side...the video is humiliating him, not just me.
Is Jace more about his presence that he'd drop me? I don't know about the media side of him. Is he all about image? I don't know much about stocks, but I know it reflects an owner's decisions...even if they're personal. Oh...I might as well stay in here all day! Jace will be beyond furious.
I sit in the middle of the floor and brood like a miserable kid. Everything is falling apart. Why is everything crashing? I did what was right today...this is what I get? To be labeled scum too low for a billionaire? To be the reason Strygent stocks plummet?
I wish the days would rewind. I wish Lil never posted that video. I hope I can overcome this nonsense. I want the day over with. I lay back and sigh. The glass ceiling distracts me. My eyes focus on how the sun cuts through the stained glass, creating diamond patterns on the wood floors.
I shut out the drama and watch the changing light outside. I witness a time-lapse of morning to noon, evening to sunset. Then pitch darkness. The sound of a whirling drone outside the door draws my attention. I don't make a move or a sound. I stay still on the floor. I'm glad when it passes down the hall.
Jace is home...he must have his bots searching for me. I think it's best I avoid him for the rest of the day. Just as I'm dodging everything else. I want peace.
The floor is my bed for the night. I sleep in the fantasy dress and dream of a simpler world. When I used to go to work and go out clubbing. When I wasn't trending and being labeled as disgusting. Just me and Lil living it up at work, flirting with guys, cracking up at the jealous wives. Whipping up drinks. The old me was so stress free...so content. How did that slip away so fast?
I wake to darkness. I'm in bed. I hear Jace talking from far away. I must be in his room. His words are hard to make out, but the speaking pattern is agitated. I swoop out of bed and go to the door. I crack it and listen.
"The stocks haven't dropped just because of Madison; the investors disagree with the piracy and the margins. Strygent will bounce back once the president deal is sealed." Jace stops to listen for a few seconds. "Last I checked, you're the CFO. How about you cease demanding strategies?"
He sounds so tired; his voice is drained. Has he had any sleep?
"Have a nice night." A phone slams. I jump. "Damn it!" He snarls. I close the door and return to bed.
I've disrupted his day three times. First, with Brad, the video, and now the stocks. The CFO must think I'm bad for business. I'll just go back to sleep. Hopefully, tomorrow everything will blow over. I wish to be in the Twilight Zone and have this reality as one I can escape.
Jace is still working in his office when I wake. My same sneaking habit is used, eavesdropping at the door. "Does that mean the video is gone for good? What about screen recordings, shares, still images?" His shoes tap; Jace is pacing. "Double check to make sure."
"Breakfast." A drone announces on its way down the hall. Coconut pancakes, creme fraîche, and cranberry juice are propped atop it.
The office door opens. I dart back to the bed and fake sleep. I pull the sheets to my nose. His footsteps stop at the room's entrance. I sense Jace at the doorway, watching me. "We need to talk." Jace enters the room. I'm caught, so I give up faking sleep. I sit up to face him. He carries the plate and glass to me. I take both. "It's about the video."
My jitteriness is uncontrollable. "I'm sorry...I didn't know Lil filmed it. Please don't hate me."
"No, I don't hate you. It's been wiped from the internet and will soon be erased from all devices."
"Because I embarrassed you..."
"No, you didn't. I did this to spare you from the media."
"I'm the reason your stocks are down."
"A small reason. The public's reaction affects the market; this isn't out of the norm. Strygent will recuperate." He sits beside me. "Why did you hide out in the ballroom?"
"To give you space."
"Madi, you're not the issue here; the media is. They're professionals at perpetrating hatred onto their subjects. You'll learn to be the bigger person."
"How do I do that?"
"It'll take time...for now; just don't read the comments."
"I can't help it. I've never been in the spotlight before."
"Yeah...that buzz is addictive." He confesses. "You need to delete social media for a few months until this blows over." Jace's lime eyes fall on my plate. He cuts a slice of the pancakes, spears it, then feeds me.
I take a bite and giggle, "I can feed myself." I scoop syrup from the hotcake and smear it across his nose. "Do you forgive me now? I got rid of the pin."
"I do..." He smiles softly. "I should've never questioned if you loved me. Can you forgive me?"
"Of course."
"I know it's hard to cut out your first. It's a whole new world you're thrown into. First relationships are a drug. I knew this. I should've given you time instead of yelling."
"I think we both handled it wrong."
He feeds me again. "We'll do better next time."
I slap a glob of syrup onto his mouth. "So we're back to normal?"
"We are." He kisses me with sticky lips.
"Could we do something to make up?" I smirk naughtily.
"Like what?"
"You haven't done the pressure point thing."
"Let's make a deal; finish your breakfast, then you'll get that as a reward." I stab into the pancakes, hastily gobbling up the sweet bread. "Don't choke; slow down."
"I'm excited." I say through a full mouth.
"I love you in that dress." I realize that I still have on the fairy-like getup. "I was going to change you into pajamas, but I couldn't."
"You wanted to take off my clothes?" I munch on, grinning. "Hey! I thought you said we had to limit ourselves. You hypocrite."
"I said we can't do anything severe, meaning clothes on." A ringing phone echoes from the hall. Jace stands and heads out. "I'll be back."
"Aww, I'm almost done..." I grimace. "Guess I'll eat like a turtle." I drink cranberry juice like a grandma. I anticipate his return. He has me curious...ugh, if only the phone didn't ring! Hopefully, he returns quickly. I'm glad Jace isn't angry with me. I totally over thought everything.
When done with the meal, I wash my face and apply my usual skin layers—a ten-minute process. I expect to see him after, but Jace hasn't come back yet. Hmm...should I snoop? I crack the door and strain my ear to listen.
"No, that's not true, Kim. We've been over this." Kim?
Who is Kim? Who is he talking to? Is it the CFO? A tinge of jealousy spikes within me.
"Come visit when you can. I'll prove you wrong." The phone's receiver bangs to its base. I hurry back to the bathroom and close the door, no longer in a kinky mood. Come visit when you can? I'll prove you wrong? What does he mean?
I hear Jace approach the bathroom door. "I left you waiting too long, huh?"
"You did," I say as steadily as possible.
"Rain check?"
"Sure...yeah."
The phone rings, drawing him away again. Who is Kim? He'll know I was listening in on his call if I ask. Is she calling him back?
I ninja out of the bathroom and into the hall, nearing the office door. "I'm telling you the truth. Can you accept it?" Damn it, I can't hear the other line. "As I said before, come visit to get the truth."
It's her again. I have to say something about it, right? Just as he found out about Brad's messages and demanded answers, I'm able to do the same.
"Look, I'm not in the mood to argue; there's a lot going on. Just give me a break today. Alright?!" He barks.
I back away. I'll ask tomorrow...I can give him a day. But who is she? A co-worker? An ex? A friend?
#Romance
#Love