Its been about a year since I was writing this, and I recently reread it.
And it really sucks. Sorry.
I'm not back in the fandom, but I really want to rewrite this for those of you that are, and also to shut my perfectionist brain up.
The rewrite will likely have:
-longer and better plot, including more chapters
-more description
-better written emotions
-more attention on the negative parts of not having a home or steady food supply for ELEVEN YEARS
-better written romance and angst
-more fluff moments so its not just "haha we're dating now we're over"
-better flowing and more realistic dialogue
-better written friendships, i have now had more experience with having friends
-less grammatical issues. The original mistakes weren't very noticeable but now I have another year of english under my belt.
-longer paragraphs, maybe. Ill try to stay on subject longer
-better written arguements, not just
escalating quickly and then stopping
-better written trauma
-things that were randomly and obsessively focused on at certain moments will be more spread out
-better representation of an emotionally abusive mother and absent father
-possibly a lime of sorts (not for fan service, but to further Pico and keith's intimacy)
-probably not that whole thing where keith gets kidnapped by the police.
-less Darnell abuse because I'm pretty sure I did not actually have a legitamate reason to do that to him
-no soft keith, because man what the hell was that
-a better last name for Pico because I
accidentally named him after Pico de gallo
-(trans keith maybe- hehehe im going to shove some representation down peoples throats)
-more throwbacks and references to the title
-a renewed book cover
-more characters from the original game, not just mentioned in passing
-changes in how I represented corruption- and making them more noticable, bzzing instead of numbness, etc
-less cringe authors notes
-and more!
I'll be putting the link here once I start publishing it:
Thank you!