The actual test of relationships is not always time but the capability to evolve and learn from disputes. It's the idea of growing together and not apart, working through the barriers that stand in the way and the different quarrels that may arise. Being forced to work through these issues makes relationships work and makes them stronger.
Without any turmoil in a relationship, how does one learn? Without these, there will forever be words left unsaid and feelings left untouched. There will be trust issues, resentment, and everything that bubbles until the explosion is irreversible. The damage done will be left to collect dust, just as the memories of the time together do when it's over.
There comes a time in everyone's life when the bullet hidden deep within the rotation reaches its chamber. This bullet waits, counting the seconds until the fatal shot is taken. The real test is whether or not that trigger is pulled. Love is a game of roulette if people allow it to be.
-----
They hadn't spoken since the start of the week. They had scarcely traded looks, and it was sensed throughout the entire castle. The first-ever tumult to brew between Lyra and Sirius as a couple, not just as two adversaries. This wasn't the same type of dispute as when they were at each other's necks. Those were handled by exchanging vitriols and disparaging one another down to nothing–this, this was much different. Neither considered themselves in the wrong, and it would be the surrounding parties that yielded the price of their intransigence.
It was the day before both Sirius and Lyra were to leave on the goose-hunt that Dumbledore had tasked them to, and still, neither wanted to speak with one another. Neither party was good at communication nor relationships. This pairing was the first time Lyra had ever loved someone in such a manner, besides the crush she once had on Rory McLaggen. Outside of that, Sirius was the only one to capture the heart of Lyra Potter–which meant he was the only one capable of ever breaking it.
"Are you not going to speak to him at all until you leave?"
Lyra glimpsed over at her twin brother with raised eyebrows at his hasty comment. It was Lyra's study hall period, and the younger of the two was relishing the silence she had come across, knowing damn well that the next few weeks would be filled with anything but. She had told Dumbledore that the lover's quarrel would be solved by the end of the week, but that was the exact opposite of what had happened. Lyra hadn't as much as brushed her arm past Sirius, fearing he'd try to confront her about the night after the full moon.
She had busied herself tending to Remus and her brother, aiding Madam Pomphrey in nursing the boys back to health. She had left the eldest Black brother to the caretaker, electing it more advantageous to help those that actually appreciated it versus someone who condemned her. Lyra was cognizant that some of the things she did were petty, but she was beyond hurt at how Sirius reacted to her interference. She had just wanted to help.
"My relationship is none of your concern, Potter." Lyra barked, shifting her concentration back to the charms homework in front of her.
"It is, actually, Potter," James retorted, grabbing the quill from his sister's hands, "Because you guys are about to go off hunting for something that could possibly kill you. That is if you don't kill one another first. Lyra, you're my sister; I hate seeing you like this."
"Well, there's one person in this whole damn castle that is to blame for it," she lamented, heart aching for her lover's tenderness, "And he just so happens to be your best mate."
"And your boyfriend," James persisted, driving for his already reserved sister to let even the first wall of hers down, "Don't let this come between you guys. You're hurt because you almost lost him; he's hurt because he could have lost you. Don't you get that? Or are both of you too dense to realize you're mad at one another for caring whether the other died?"
Lyra slammed her book closed and gave her twin her complete engagement. His eyebrows were creased, and his bright eyes were clearly distressed. James was better at reading his sister than she was at even identifying the sentiments that inundated her brain. He knew her inside and out and precisely what beset her when she wasn't ready to face it herself. He was the other half of her, and one half was incomplete without the other. Whether one is emotionally distant or gone altogether, neither is whole without the other. Lyra shutting down emotionally was enfeebling James, diminishing him down to a man perforated with trepidation and tension. With the approaching feat of finding a Horcrux–something both Sirius and Lyra knew frightening little about–having either of the Potter twins at anything but their best was risky.
"I can't lose you too."
Lyra nearly dove into her brother's arms. Whenever the younger of the two slipped far from the other's grasp, the absence of their parents became frighteningly prominent. It was James that had to draw Lyra back from those dark spots of her mind, cradling her until she found stable ground again. Euphemia couldn't talk her down from it, and Fleamont couldn't reason with her; they weren't here anymore. They had no one but one another, and if either fell too far from the other reach, they would be left isolated.
Lyra could hardly envision a world without her brother. They squabbled and clashed, as all siblings do, but they never went a day without at some point reminding the other how much they loved one another. The death of their parents only brought them closer. Lyra was wandering straight into the mouth of a lion now, the ringmaster being that of their Head Master. She had one job to do, find the heart and cut it out. Unfortunately, that job was not clear cut, and Lyra's life was dangling in the balance.
"Is this the part where you tell me why Regulus Black has been following me like a lost puppy?" James whispered as he tugged back from the girl, "Lily's worried he may have a type–Potter."
Scarlett.
Lyra pursed her lips and veered away from her older brother, "I just asked him to keep an eye on you while Sirius and I are gone. I wouldn't want you to do anything stupid."
"You and Sirius will be gone; if anything, you should be worried about me becoming a rational and logical person."
"You do realize that would require brain cells?"
"We shared a womb–if I don't have them, neither do you."
-----
Lyra tucked her hands into the pockets of her joggers, traipsing down the hallways of Hogwarts with her wand drawn in light. The paintings crabbed and swore at her as she woke them with the brightness, but she disregarded them the closer she got to the Head Masters office. This would be the first time since the full moon that Lyra spoke in the same room as Sirius, yet the two still walked to the office separate. They were about to venture on a conceivably fatal expedition, and neither was keen to back down from their standpoint.
When Lyra reached the office where she was to meet the other men, the strain was stout enough to slice with a knife. Dumbledore posed at his desk, and her lover leaned on the wall just across from him. Sirius had his head downturned; eyes concentrated on the floor as she strode further, approaching both of them with reluctance. When Lyra tucked her wand away, Dumbledore commenced the debrief.
"Glad to see you're both just as strong-willed as I recall," Dumbledore began, "To put it quite plainly, this hunt may kill you."
"Great pep talk, Professor."
"Now is not the time for sarcasm, Sirius," Lyra quipped, dropping into one of the seats, "What exactly are we looking for, Professor?"
"I have intel that tells me one of these Horcruxes is that of a family ring," Dumbledore began, "One of Tom Riddle's father. The other a locket. I only speculate where some of these may be, and he would be expecting me. You two...maybe not."
"Maybe?" Sirius contested, pushing off of the wall, "You're telling me he may have Death Eaters that are going to try and kill us, Professor?"
"Oh come now, boy," Dumbledore huffed, "Do you think the most powerful Dark Wizard of our age would leave parts of his soul unguarded–no magic or security?"
"A family ring," Lyra repeated, ignoring the past remarks, "The Riddle family?"
"I am not entirely sure, Ms. Potter," Dumbledore insisted, "This is why I ask you two. I can send you to the location I believe would best situate you...but that is all I can do."
Lyra felt her stomach go queasy with the incomplete information Dumbledore was feeding them. She hesitantly outstretched her mind, slipping across the floor and up the side of the Professor. But she was met with nothing but cold shadows hissing at her as she attempted to lurk into the mind of the Head Master. He gave her a wink before clasping his hands behind his back, awaiting any other questions that the two had.
"Are you both packed?"
-----
It took nearly three people to tear James away from his twin as the sun began to breach from behind the trees. Goodbye after goodbye rang out as the two distant lovers begrudgingly departed from the Gryffindor Common Room. Lyra had to remind herself that this was for the greater good, and dipping from the mission and leaving the Horcruxes untouched and unfound could be the nail in the coffin for all muggles, muggle-borns, half-bloods, and all those who believe in their rights. This was how Lyra would seal her place in the history books.
Everything that Lyra had done before led to the moments ahead of her. Each step she took up the stairs to the astronomy tower was one step closer to her picture being framed in a museum and the freedom of all people in the Wizarding World. It was one inch closer to the end of Voldemort's reign and the destruction of his supremacy groups. She could finally wipe that smirk off his face, which crept into the back of her mind at night.
The dispute with Sirius seemed to cease from reality as the two spotted the Head Master at the periphery of the tower, gripping it with a hold that turned his knuckles green. It was a half-witted plan with no concrete base, but that was what Lyra almost enjoyed about it. This was the thrill and wonder of Gryffindor, the impulsivity for something bigger than herself, while also benefiting her in the end. That was unless they failed, and she would be painted out to be a disappointment in the history books she longed to be a part of.
"Here," Dumbledore stated, handing Lyra a multicoloured bag, "A bag with no bottom. Figured it might be helpful for your travels."
Lyra gripped the string and gave the Professor a nod, thanking him silently for the gesture. In a split second, his mind rang out thanks as well before the cold barrier was put up between the two once more. It was a sign of solidarity between the two, the turmoil of Lyra's sixth year being something of the past with the Head Master. She may not forgive nor forget how he acted, but Dumbledore wasn't who she was doing this for. This was for her friends, her brother, and for the honour of her parents. It was for the future generations and the possible children she could have one day. This was beyond Dumbledore for Lyra.
"Good luck, you two."
-----
"That's not how you put up a tent."
"Would you like to try it instead, Princess?"
"I could do it better."
"Then, by all means, be my bloody guest."
Lyra tossed the picks and mallet at her boyfriend's feet, walking to the perimeter of their camp and tugging out her wand. If he was going to put up the tent, the least Lyra could do was set up the protective border. After all, he wasn't going to. If she knew that this would be the way Sirius acted on this trip, Lyra would have begged for Dumbledore to send her with someone else. Remus, perhaps. She doubted he would, seeing as the Head Master wasn't the biggest fan of the boy's affliction. It always irked her how he treated Remus, but that wasn't the thought on her mind now.
"Protego totalum. Salvio hexia. Muffliato. Cave inimicum."
Alongside the various protection spells, Lyra ensured that she and Sirius were invisible to the eye of any passersby. They were in the middle of a muggle town's forest, and it would only be a matter of time before a group of teenagers or even adults wandered past. She didn't want to risk anyone turning them in to authorities or even having a lurking Death Eater possibly catch wind of their presence. It was easier for both of them. Plus–no one would see it if she ended up killing the Black son that struggled to put up a tent.
"Godric, Sirius!" Lyra exclaimed as she returned to where she had left him, "Did you even lift the mallet?"
"I figured we could just use magic," Sirius snapped, twirling his wand, "Seeing as we're wizards. Why use the mallet?"
"In case the Death Eaters that are undoubtedly lurking catch wind of magic being used."
"You just walked around for ten minutes using five different spells."
"They were necessary."
"Sure, darling."
"You're insufferable."
"And you're such a saint."
Lyra nearly lunged at the boy, imaging choking the bloody life out of him. Neither was helping the situation, but all the blonde could feel was the resentment he had towards her rolling off of him like a bad cologne. It was nearly suffocating the way he stared at her. He watched her every move, waiting for the moment where she broke, caving into the argument. But both knew Lyra; she would instead lick the bottom of someone's shoe than ever give in during a fight.
She wasn't unreasonable, though. As the day dwindled on and the tent finally got set up, her resolve grew thinner. The comments and the silence between the two nearly sent her overboard a solid dozen times. It was painful, meandering about with the maps Dumbledore provided them and the odd book they had packed in search of any clues towards the Horcruxes location. Let alone actually devising a plan for the upcoming feats.
After climbing into the one bed in the tent, Lyra broke the silence.
"How're your injuries?"
"Fine."
"Can I see them?"
Sirius let out a breathy sigh before rolling onto his side and flicking on the lantern. Both Gryffindors sat up in the cot, with him facing the opposite way. Despite being in his animagus form when Remus was a werewolf, the injuries transmitted into Sirius's human form. They were massive gashes that had gone from the very tip of his biceps, around his back, to the bottom of his tailbone. Various ones littered his back, but she wasn't sure it was from Remus. These scars were older, more hidden. She had never noticed them before, not until now when she ran her finger across one that went down the middle of his shoulder blades.
"I thought you were looking at my injuries from Remus."
"When did you get this one?"
"It doesn't matter."
"Sirius–"
"Do you even know why I'm upset, Lyra?"
Lyra fell silent at the sudden question. She wasn't expecting them to actually talk about the dispute that was currently driving a wedge down the centre of their partnership. She had half-expected it to be further ignored and eventually end with one of them pulling away forever, allowing one argument and disagreement to end the beautiful monster they had created together. But it seemed that Sirius wasn't as willing to let go as Lyra appeared, seeing as he was now expecting an answer from her.
"I'm guessing it's because I threw myself in front of Remus to protect you?"
"It's because you threw yourself in front of Remus to save me."
"What?"
Sirius turned around on the cot, facing Lyra completely. His face had gone soft, eyes brimmed with heavy tears that threatened to fall. He looked utterly wrecked now that Lyra got a good and proper look at his face. The bags under his eyes were dark and heavy, tugging those beautiful iris she loved further down his face. The skin around his cheeks was flushed, and his nose was rubbed raw. He had been crying for days, by the looks of it, and it appeared that today would be no exception. Not as he stared at her. Lyra had her eyebrows knitted together, confused as to what it was he was getting at.
"I'm upset because you are so willing to get yourself killed. You run towards danger as though there is nothing you're leaving behind. You jump in front of the bullet without thinking twice. You were willing to die for your brother without considering what would happen to him if you did die. What would happen to me if you died!
"You were ready to kill yourself for me when I allowed people to kill your very spirit for nearly six years. I'm upset because you do not deserve someone like me. You deserve someone so much better. You deserve someone who would lay their life down for you. Someone who would stand up for you without a second thought in their head. Someone brave, smart, strong enough to protect you."
You deserve someone like–"
"Regulus?"
"Yeah."
"Do you want to know why I'm upset?"
"Why?"
"Because you can't seem to grasp that this life is my choice. Jumping into danger is my choice; taking the unknown path is my choice. Loving you, Sirius Black is my choice. And I've chosen. And it is you I choose."
"But–"
Lyra didn't hesitate to press her lips to his. It wasn't fiery and passionate like their usual ones, but tender and sad. It was emotional and messy, just as they were. He rested his hands on her waist and Lyra pulled away, peppering kisses down his cheek and towards the boy's shoulder. Shifting, she followed the trail down to the scar that sliced through the skin on his back.
"Let me choose you, Sirius Black. The whole you."