Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone can be the harbinger of hurt if pushed far enough. Others handle pain better and can manage their anger. Other people sometimes let that anger fester, and eventually, everything comes to the surface. This bubbling feeling and overzealousness can lead to a downfall or further spur a person's growth. Everything has to do with circumstances, the environment people live in, and even how they grew up.
Someone who grew up in a nurturing and emotionally stimulating environment is more likely to be able to handle their emotions more healthily. They usually have an easier time expressing themselves, even if they need to find an outlet specific to them. When you grow up in a family or group that welcomes emotions and encourages you to feel various things, it's less likely that those negative emotions will grow and fester as you age.
On the contrary, those raised or who grew up in more stifling and cold environments may find it more challenging to speak or deal with these emotions. It can be seen as a sign of vulnerability that they're used to being exploited or seen as something immature or unbecoming. These environments nurture more closed-off and possibly more reactive people. Not to say this is everyone, as sometimes this can create a more loving and open person.
However, these reactions can be explosive, filled to the brim with volatility and malevolence. Both those raised in kind environments and raised in neglectful ones can have these reactionary events, and it can lead to catastrophic outcomes. Outcomes filled with pain, sorrow, and hurt.
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The moon was gracing the treeline as Lyra sat up with her candle burning beside her. The others were all sound asleep, their breaths shallow and content. Every time the full moon creeps around, Lyra finds herself on edge with the upcoming occurrences. She could see it taking its toll on Remus, but there was nothing she could do. She wanted him to lean on her for support, but she knew the boy better than most. He wouldn't rely on anyone for help willingly.
Lyra and Remus were similar in that sense. Neither wanted to burden others with their shortcomings. It was easier to rely inwardly, only allowing your vulnerabilities to be seen by the person that waited in the mirror. People around them didn't understand or didn't fully grasp what it was that each of the Gryffindor students needed. Both James and Sirius could help to an extent, but at the end of it, both Remus and Lyra were their own monsters. They would wait under their beds before gripping their ankle and tugging them down.
Lyra had tried to focus on the book she had spread open before her, beckoning the blonde into the world it created like a drug. She couldn't find the merit to focus on the words that danced in front of her, especially not as the sound of footsteps clapped against the floors outside of her dorm. Both her twin and lover tried to convince the youngest Potter twin to get to bed early, so she wasn't up worrying, but all three knew that wasn't going to be the case.
Slapping the book shut, Lyra slid from her bed and into the slippers next to the posts and crept towards the door. Tugging it open, she saw James, Peter, and Sirius freeze at the sudden noise. Realizing just who had heard their creepings, the trio relaxed. Lyra shook her head and hurried down the steps, candle lighting her way as she made it to the bottom of the staircase. Sirius broke away from the other two and enveloped Lyra's face in his hands, staring at her as though she were the only thing good left in the world.
"Why're you up?" He whispered, glancing to the side at the grandfather clock that struck midnight, "I told you–"
"When have I ever done as you have told?" Lyra chastised in response, breaking away from Sirius and placing her candle down, "Let me come with you guys–"
"No," James hissed, his voice calm so that their little meeting didn't wake any other students that may still be coherent, "Lyra, we've talked about this; it's not safe."
"It's Remus–"
"It's not Remus," James continued, nudging Sirius out of the way so he was in his twin's direct line of sight, "That werewolf out there is not Remus. I don't know how often we need to explain this to you; he's not in there."
Silence blanketed the group as the twins stared at one another with ferocity in their eyes. Lyra was a powerful witch, and if she needed to, she would be able to handle a werewolf, especially if the boys were all circling to ensure that Remus didn't overpower her. She may be able to sedate him or knock him unconscious until the sun overtook the moon and brought light onto the Hogwarts grounds instead of a shadowy moon.
Lyra wanted to help more than anything. It was the main reason she had infiltrated the Death Eaters, besides her need to outrank James in the history books. Her hunger to be of assistance was nearly debilitating and caused her more harm than good most of the time. But Lyra wouldn't deny the voracious high she got from being a part of something significant and being able to tell people she had been there or been a part of the events that transpired.
"I'm with James on this one," Sirius interrupted, replacing James in Lyra's vision, hands taking her cheeks into his palms once more, "It's not safe. We don't know what Remus would do if he saw you. Not to mention, he doesn't remember anyone in this form. There's not best mate magic at play here."
"I just want to help."
Sirius's eyes softened at the blonde's final plea. For a moment, Lyra thought maybe he would cave and let her tag along. Her fantasy was quickly cut short as he leaned forward and captured her lips with his, a fiery passion behind them. They hadn't been together publicly when the last full moon plagued the Hogwarts hallway–perhaps this was the only one they'd experience. There was always an uneasy sense of unknown on these nights, and Lyra couldn't stand the thought of losing any of her boys. The idea of even just one of them slipping from her in the span of one night was almost unfathomable. Let alone the possibility of all four Marauders leaving her life in the blink of an eye.
When Sirius pulled away, Lyra had tears filling her eyes to the brim. She didn't like the nights when they would go after Remus. Even before she and Sirius were anything more than friends at best, the thought of losing her twin was nearly debilitating. She just wanted them all to be safe and warm inside the common room, joking and laughing alongside their other friends. Lyra Potter was a fighter at heart, but no soldier liked war.
"Come see me when you're back," Lyra whispered, tugging Sirius back down by his collar, "Please?"
"Of course."
Lyra released her boyfriend before wrapping her arms around James's neck. Her brother wrapped his arms tightly around her waist as if he was absorbing the very spirit of his younger sister. Her magic seemingly slipped from her blood and furthered his, boosting up the intense skill that James already had. When she pulled back and gave her final farewell hug to Peter, the three were off. Lyra stood alone in the Gryffindor common room, cold and isolated as the fireplace beside her, and sat silent.
-----
The clock struck three when Lyra heard the first yelp of a dog. She had been drifting in and out of consciousness, never fully letting the dreams overtake her. The anxiety of what transpired outside the castle walls didn't allow the blonde total relaxation, even when her eyelids sat heavy and dropped over the bright forests that were her iris's. Even the most distant howl would pull Lyra back to her awake state, never letting her slip far away. She was a dog on a short leash, tugging and pulling to run into that comfortable land of her own mind.
Peace was not an option when the second scream echoed across the lands. She tried to remind herself that this was something the boys were used to dealing with. Usually, Lyra was capable of sleeping through these nights and dealing with her brother's injuries in the morning. Now, it was more than just her friends and brother out there. The love of her life was in their midst.
The third sequel broke her resolve. Lyra's feet moved at light speed as she ran from her bed, tugging on one of Sirius's Quidditch jumpers and joggers before sliding her wand into her waistband. Nothing was getting in Lyra's way as she tore through the Gryffindor dorms and out towards the sprawling hallways of Hogwarts. The echoing sound of an injured dog acted as a compass for Lyra as she scoured the castle for her best course of action.
Blood came into Lyra's view as she erupted from one of the passageways out into the expansive land that sprawled in front of the Forbidden Forest. She didn't recall the last time she had braved the twisting and winding paths of the forest, but it seemed tonight was going to take her last memories place. The blood took the shape of a stags marks before it changed into that of a human, and her stomach nearly fell from her body.
Lyra had never felt fear like that in her life. The echo of panic screamed through her mind at the idea of losing James in the blink of an eye. For all she knew, he was already dead and gone. Her mind utterly failed to compute the idea of no longer having her brother around for her to have and hold, leaning on his shoulder while tears fell from her eyes or vice versa. James Potter was the other half of his twin sister, and she was nothing without him. Lyra Potter was half of an entirety without her twin. Half of a heart, half of a mind, half of a witch, half of a person.
"James."
His name fell like a breath of fresh air as she saw her brother slumped against a boulder, Peter next to him with bandages at the ready. Her brother had a slash across his stomach, nothing deadly nor life-threatening, just painful. It would serve as a permanent reminder of what a werewolf Remus Lupin was capable of. How her brother managed to escape such a close call was something Lyra wasn't sure she wanted to know.
James looked up from Peter when he heard his name and the look Lyra saw flash across her brother's face was a horrific mixture of pain, realization, anger, and thankfulness. Perhaps he was thankful to see his twin, but the rage that came with it that she would dare expose herself to the danger that was Remus in his werewolf form outweighed the kind heart he held.
But Lyra didn't dwell on it long as another echoed cry of pain sang through the forest. The look on James's face morphed into something that resembled a warning, yelling silently at Lyra for her not to risk it. Sirius would be fine; this wasn't his first rodeo. None of this was new to the boys; they would be able to handle Remus and the lycanthropy that plagued his mind and body. Unfortunately for the older twin, Lyra wasn't great at running from danger. She had a nasty habit of running towards it with a challenging smirk and competition on her mind.
"Lyra, don't–!"
Before James's words could register, Lyra was off in a frenzy towards the echoing screams that rang out. The danger of what she was running headfirst into didn't register as the image of a dying Sirius flashed into her mind. She couldn't differentiate if this were her delusion of the worst or her legilimency at play–but Lyra didn't want to risk it. If Sirius was dying, she might be the only hope for him to survive the attack.
With her wand brandished, Lyra tore through the bush. The cries grew louder, and the dread grew larger, threatening to overtake the momentary adrenaline coursing through her magical veins. The man that loved Lyra entirely and that she adored more than words was in danger; nothing else mattered. Petter took care of James, and she didn't have to fret about his safety. At this very moment, the only thing that mattered was the protection of Sirius Black and what Lyra Potter was going to do to ensure it.
She'd never seen Remus in his werewolf form, and Lyra wished she never had. He was grotesque and appeared as more of a nightmare than a physical being. The tufts of fur that scattered his body were few and far between, the gray skin of this form pulled taught over rippling muscles and protruding bones that stuck out at funny angles. His eyes shone bright like a tinted moon, the yellow reminding her of the colours of Hufflepuff. The teeth that bore themselves towards a quivering shadow were soaked in blood.
The shadow whimpered and limped but didn't give up. Lyra hid behind the thick trunk of a spruce tree, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. She only had one shot at taking down the beast and releasing her lover and best friend from the deadly grasp of the werewolf. If she failed, Sirius might not be the one losing his life tonight. Lyra may have signed her name on the death papers tonight, but whether or not she sent them was still up in the air. She would know if she was to reconvene with her parents in these moments, curling into their embrace.
Lyra sucked in a breath and let the charm fly.
"Stupefy."
-----
"That was stupid of you."
Lyra stared down at Sirius, who had just recently woken up from the near-coma he had slipped into. Madam Pomfrey never doubted his recovery but couldn't give Lyra an exact date for when he would rejoin the land of the living. It had been three days since Remus's last transition, and he was still sleeping peacefully, just a few beds down. Lyra had barely moved from Sirius's side, holding his hand day and night and praying for a quicker awakening.
"Sirius?" Lyra whispered, a hesitant smile pushing onto her face, irritating the scratch from her cheekbone down to her jawline, "You're awake!"
"And you're stupid," he chastised, wincing as he sat up, "What were you thinking? Throwing yourself into the middle of Remus and I like that?"
Lyra raised her eyebrows in shock at her boyfriend's comments. She wasn't exactly expecting that reaction when he woke from the sleep he had taken up. If anything, Lyra had hoped that he would be happy to have her be the first thing that he saw when he woke. But apparently, all Sirius cared about was that she had gone against what he had asked of her. If anything, he should be grateful. If it weren't for Lyra, he would undoubtedly be dead. Lyra saved his life; she just wanted a bit of gratitude.
"You're welcome for saving your life, asshole," Lyra scoffed, but her hand never strayed from her boyfriend's, "Glad to see you're happy to see me."
"I would have been happier if you had done what you were asked and stayed out of it," Sirius continued, pushing back against any logic Lyra threw at him, "You could have died, Ly!"
"And so could have you!" She defended, eyebrows knitting in frustration, "You nearly did, Sirius! Madam Pomfrey said she's never seen you look that bad when I brought you blokes in. So I would appreciate a thank you–"
"For what!?"
"Saving your bloody life! And Remus's at that!" Lyra dropped the boy's hand and shoved back from the bed, taking to her feet, "Good to know that you're still an ungrateful twat."
Lyra turned from the bed and took off towards the door of the Medical Wing, only to have her path stopped by the one and only Head Master of Hogwarts waiting for her on the other side. In all honesty, Dumbledore was the last person that Lyra had wanted to see at this very moment. She and Sirius had never really fought before, and with tensions as high as they were at this moment, she knew it would be better for her to be alone. Or at least far away from him so that both could decompress.
"Ms. Potter, I hope to speak to you and Mr. Black." Dumbledore was quick with his words, smiling down at her with a fake twinkle in his eye.
"Maybe later, Professor–"
Dumbledore quickly interrupted, "You two will begin your hunt for the first Horcrux at the end of the week. No debate. I do hope you sort out this lover's quarrel before then!"
"Of course, Professor. Sirius and I will be fine."
"I sure do hope so."