Song above is "The Only Exception" by Paramore.
This chapter isn't very long, but I already have the next chapter written, so hopefully I'll get to post it a few days after this.
Enjoy!
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Chapter 30
Andrew pulls away from the kiss first.
He has me pinned against the wall and we're both panting. His lips hover inches from mine, pink and swollen. An adorable crease is between his eyebrows, signifying that he's either confused or there's something on my face.
Let's hope it's not the latter.
Blue eyes drift down to my soft pink lips, a spark of electricity burning through them. He licks his bottom lip before he whispers against my skin, "Why did you do that?"
"I-I, uh..." I trail off, not knowing what to say. It's not official that we've broken up, although we know it's going to happen quite soon. Neither of us have the guts to say it though.
His eyes find mine, and for a moment he just looks at me. Then, as if a switch is turned on, he says, "I was ready to leave. To just get out of here and forget all about you, because that's what you want me to do. It was already taking every muscle in my body to walk through that door, and then you kissed me and now it's nearly impossible. So, please, just tell me why."
I release a slow breath and close my eyes. "I don't know," I admit. "All I know is that I really didn't want you to hate me for this, and so I did what I thought I had to do."
He chuckles humorlessly. "So you pitied me," he takes a step or two away from me. "That's why you did it."
I wanted to say that it wasn't pity, that I was just trying to help the situation. I wanted to say that I really did want to kiss him. I wanted to say that I love him and I wasn't ready for him to go yet. But the words never came. It was as if my mouth was frozen shut, and the only thing I can do is stare at him and hope he can read my mind.
"Oh wow," he says, hurt covering his features. "So it's true then." He musses his hair repeatedly, before shaking his head in disappointment and heading towards the door.
Finding my voice again, I once again find myself running after him. "Andrew stop. That's not why I—"
"Hailey, just stop it!" He whirls around to face me, fury replacing the hurt. "I'm not stopping this time. Not for you, or anybody else. I am my own person, and I don't need crappy love to get me through life. I've gone this long without it, I'm pretty sure I can get by just fine."
I don't think he's ever been this angry with me before. And the fact that all of this anger is directed towards me has tears blurring my vision. "Andrew," I release a shaky breath. "What are you saying?" Correct me if I'm wrong, but I have this gut-wrenching feeling that he's about to make this 'break-up' official.
"I'll be honest with you Hailey," he continues. "I have never believed in true love or happy endings, even before my parents died. But when I met you, you changed everything. And I thought that was a good thing. Because I was finally happy and I felt safe with you. But now... now I'm not so sure.
"You play with my feelings like a harp; pulling new strings to get different reactions. One minute you tell me we need to stop seeing each other, and the next you're kissing me. It's just really frustrating to have to deal with, and I'm tired of it. The lies, the cheating, the secrets, it has to stop!"
"I know," I say, wiping my tears. I'd rather not let him see me break down in tears. "And I'm sorry about everything. But you never told me, so I didn't know I had to fix anything."
"Hailey, I shouldn't have to tell you not to cheat on me, or keep things from me."
I sigh, dropping my head. Shame pulses through my body like the blood flowing through my veins. I've been horrible to him.
"But I want you to know," his voice softens, "that I love you. No matter how rough this relationship was, I can't deny that I was in love with you, and I probably still am. I don't even know anymore. I'd rather not end things with a bunch of unspoken hatred between us, so I just thought I would tell you that."
Although my gaze is still trapped on the floor, I can feel his eyes on me. But I can't look up, not even if my life depended on it. I'm just waiting for the final words. The words to end this fairy tale.
"I hate to be the one to say this, but... I'm breaking up with you."
I nod slowly, finally forcing myself to meet his eyes. He's said it now, there's nothing else to brace myself for. "I want to thank you," the confidence is creeping ever-so-slightly back into my voice, so that I no longer sound like a scared little girl.
"For what?" He asks, confused.
"For giving me the chance to fall in love."
He gives me a sad smile, and I swear I see the glimmering of a tear in his eye.
"The pleasure's all mine, Adkins."
Two days later, he's gone.
✿ ✿ ✿
Standing in the airport, I twiddle my thumbs nervously, waiting for Andrew to finish placing his luggage on the conveyor belt. Justin stands beside me, thumbs flying across his phone screen.
I decided to accompany Justin to drop off Andrew at the airport, since we are the only people in LA who care about his departure. I mean, Justin will see him from time-to-time since he's always switching between California and North Carolina, but me on the other hand...
My intentions were good, but I'm kind of regretting it at the moment. Once we broke up, he left to go get everything packed up for his flight back to North Carolina. We didn't really talk since the break-up, nor have we seen each other face-to-face, so I get the feeling it'll be quite awkward when he has to say his goodbyes.
"Would you stop rocking on your heels?" Justin interrupts my thoughts. "You're making me anxious."
"Sorry," I mumble, resting my feet completely on the ground.
Andrew is finally heading towards us, looking nothing less than like a Greek god. He's wearing a black, fitted t-shirt that makes his eyes looks as if they're made of electricity and dark-wash jeans hang low on his hips. But the thing that has me drooling is the way his muscles are defined by his shirt. I've tried so hard not to stare, but it's not working out too well.
"Seriously dude," Justin says as Andrew reaches us. "Fix your hair. It looks like you've been having sex all morning."
"Does not," Andrew grumbles, running his hand through his hair in attempt to fix it. As he does this, his biceps flex, and I'm drooling once again.
"I bet Hailey likes it that way," Justin teases, which causes a deep blush to rise to my cheeks.
Honestly, I do like it. It actually does look like he either got straight out of bed, or was having sex this morning (which I really hope he wasn't). But, unlike most guys, he can actually pull it off.
Andrew looks at me for a long moment, gauging my reaction. I stare back, but fidgeting under his gaze. But too soon, he looks away to glare at Justin. "Seriously?" He says.
Justin smirks. "Oh right. I forgot you and Little Miss Sunshine had a falling out. My apologies for forgetting such a tragic day in history for you."
Andrew rolls his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. "Freaking bastard."
"Language brother," Justin scolds. "There are young ears amongst us." He not-so-subtly nods over to me.
I smack his arm hard, making him wince. "There are idiots amongst us too."
He chuckles, draping his arm over my shoulders. Something a little like jealousy flashes through Andrew's eyes, but it could've just been my imagination. Instead, his eyes find the watch on his wrist, and he frowns.
"Well, uh, my plane's about to board soon..." He trails off, but we know it's time for him to say goodbye.
For a few minutes, we all just stand there, waiting for someone to do something. I definitely don't want to be the first one to say goodbye, because I have yet to know what I'll say or do.
Finally, Justin takes the initiative to do that man handshake thing that every guy seems to know. "Later man," he says, a goofy grin on his face. "But if we're being honest, you'll probably see me next month."
Andrew chuckles, releasing Justin. "I wouldn't doubt it."
And then it's my turn.
I stand there awkwardly as he crosses no more than three feet of the airport floor to get to me. But by the time he gets to me, I've finally figured out what to do.
I extend my hand.
He stares at my hand reaching out to him, and then he looks at me, eyebrows raised. A hint of a smile on his face, he says, "We can do better than that, don't you think?"
With a curious look on my face, I drop my hand. "What are you—"
Within seconds, the warmth and safeness of his arms engulfs me. My heart starts to pound, and my head starts to spin, and my eyes sting with tears. A simple embrace such as a hug shouldn't have this much power over me. But everything is heightened when it comes to Andrew.
I coil my arms around his neck, hugging him back. This, in turn, causes Andrew's arms to squeeze tighter around my waist, his face buried in my neck.
An involuntary smile forms on my face. Because this, this is familiar, this is safe, and this is just purely Andrew. And I'm going to allow myself to miss him. Even though we're broken up, he's still a friend of mine.
"Goodbye Adkins," Andrew whispers against my skin.
I sigh, burying my face into his chest. "Goodbye Stokes."
We stay that way for a little while longer, before he eventually pulls away. As he does, he plants a whisper of a kiss on my cheek. When he pulls away, I offer him a timid smile. In return, he gives me a real, genuine smile. It's a smile I haven't seen in a while, and the sight of it makes my smile match his.
"I'm feeling very unloved right now," Justin grumbles, interrupting the moment.
Andrew looks over at him, smirking. "Oh, I'm sorry. Do you want a kiss too?" He advances towards him, as if he's actually going to kiss him.
Justin squeals—yes, squeals—and runs to hide behind me.
I laugh, along with Andrew, tousling Justin's hair in a playful manner.
He swats my hand away with a scowl. "You guys are mean," he whines, simultaneously fixing his hair.
Once Andrew and I calm down from our laughing fit, it's time for Andrew's plane to board.
"Well," he draws out the word, taking a step back. "I guess that's my cue."
"Yeah," I whisper, my happy mood quickly shifting to a sad one. "I guess."
"We'll miss you buddy," Justin pitches in.
"I'll miss you guys too," he replies, but his eyes stay on me. And that makes letting him go that much harder.
And then, with one last smile, he turns around and walks away.
I watch his retreating figure, sadness creeping over me like the sunrise creeps into the sky. With every step he takes, a new weight seems to be placed on my shoulders. It never seemed so real that he was actually leaving until now. Whereas before, I was ready to let him go, now I want anything but.
Now all I want is for him to look back.
His figure gets smaller and smaller the further he walks away from me.
I feel so helpless watching him walk away. All I can do is watch my first love find a different kind of love with his family. All I can do is pretend that the lust between us fades away with every step he takes. All I can do is stand here and put a fake smile on my face as if everything is okay.
Because all I can do... all I can do is watch my past get closer to his future.
And right when I'm ready to walk away and put myself out of my misery, right when I decide to drop my smile and finally let a tear slide down my face, right when I'm ready to face the long process of mending my broken heart...
...he looks back at me.
And I realize I'm not the only one who'll need mending.
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A/N: Hello all you wonderful people!
So Andrew is officially gone, and they are officially broken up... Is it weird that I'm kinda happy? :P But now this means that the next chapter is in Andrew's POV, and takes place where it all began (North Carolina). And if it takes place in North Carolina, that must mean that we'll see Adam, right?
WHY OF COURSE!
The next chapter is full of Adam and Andrew and a little bit of Karen. I mean, seriously, does it get any better than that? I think not.
So make sure you guys hit that vote button and leave a comment please. Thanks! :)
The One and Only,
Cupcake_Queen13