Two Days Later.
"Damn nigga, is you good today?" Von's engineer, DJ, asked, pausing the beat that was playing, and Von snatched his headphones off, frustrated.
"Shit nah. My brain every fucking where except on music right now." He shook his head, grabbing his styrofoam cup that just contained vanilla flavored sprite, dipping from it. He hated drinking from the bottles.
"What's it on? Ya bitch ain't give you none or somethin'?" He chuckled, and Von bucked at him, making him laugh.
He wasn't worried about Misharron at all. In fact, he never ever was. He didn't give a fuck what she was doing or who she was with because he wasn't with her. He used her for head from time to time, and she used him for money. It worked for them.
His mind was on Cyncere and Jayda. She still hadn't spoken to him since standing him up for lunch two days ago.
She had told him they could meet at Panera Bread, and he was waiting there for an hour, hoping she'd show up despite her ignoring his calls and texts.
It hurt his feelings, and he thought he'd brushed it off, but he hadn't been able to focus solely on anything since it happened. He just wanted to see Cyncere.
He couldn't lie like he didn't want to see Jayda as well. He missed her way more than he let own, and though it hurt his feelings knowing that she damn near hated him, he knew that he deserved it.
What he did was wrong, and he regretted it everyday, but he didn't understand how they were supposed to get past it for the sake of their kid if she wouldn't even meet with him to talk.
He also didn't like how she was acting as if he was the only one wrong in this situation. She had hid his child from him for almost three years. Regardless of what he'd done, he felt like those were very extreme measures.
He just wished he could go back in time and do it right with her. They were doing good for so long, it was always just the two of them, and then he let another life get ahold of him and he'd completely lost sight of priorities. He regretted that a lot.
"Nah. Some other shit. Lemme try again though, run it back." Von put his headphones back on at the same time his phone buzzed in his pocket.
He pulled it out as the beat started, seeing that Jayda had finally texted him back, and a small smile fell over his face at the message as he texted back-relieved.
"Say Chop, I gotta go. I'm come back and finish probably tomorrow, I'll let you know." Von grabbed his hoodie after taking the headphones off.
"Somebody got yo lil dumb ass crashing out man." He laughed, dapping him up, and Von shrugged, chuckling.
He left after talking with him a few more minutes, getting in his car and leaving the studio building. His phone rung, and he watched Asian's contact flash across the screen.
He let it ring out, and she called twice more, both calls that he ignored. He knew she didn't want anything but money, and he didn't feel like talking with her right now.
He knew that Jayda said to be there in an hour, but he was there fifteen minutes early. Emerging from his car, he hit the locks on his keys, walking towards the restaurant.
"Can I get a corner booth for three somewhere?" Von said after approaching the hostess.
"Yes sir, right this way." She turned on her heels, heading towards the back area. He followed her, scanning over the restaurant, before stopping in his tracks, seeing Jayda and Cyncere already in a booth.
He disregarded the hostess, making his way over there, able to hear Jayda talking to Cyncere while he laughed.
"You are such a fat ass. Why would you eat my last mozzy stick?" She fake frowned at him, and he giggled, chewing on the mozzarella stick, making her laugh.
"Jayda.." Von trailed off after approaching her, and she turned her head, her laughs slowly ceasing.
"Oh, you're early. You can uh-sit down." She gestured time the seat across from her, grabbing Cyncere off the table, and Von did so, looking at his son.
"Papa, do you remember my friend?" Jayda pointed over to Von, and Cyncere looked away from his mozzarella stick, at Von.
"Hey." Cyncere opened and closed his hand in a wave, and Von smiled as he reached for him.
Jayda lifted him up, and Von grabbed him from her arms, wrapping him up in a hug as Cyncere returned it. He was getting grease from his food on Von's hoodie, but Von didn't care.
"Wassup lil folks? What you got goin'?" He held him in his arms, and Cyncere held up his mozzarella stick.
"Want some?" He eagerly asked, and Jayda chuckled, watching Von shake his head no.
"Nah. I don't really like fried foods." Von chuckled, knowing that he probably didn't even know what that meant.
"He doesn't either. He risks it all for mozzarella sticks though." Jayda held a small smile on her face, and Von returned it.
"He don't like fried foods?" He asked, and she shook her head no.
"It's a lot of stuff he does that's just like you. Like he always scratches the back of his head for no reason just like you do." She pointed out, seeing that he was scratching his hair, and Von stopped, chuckling.
"Thank you for letting me see him." He said, looking down at Cyncere who was mindlessly talking to him.
"You're welcome. I'm sorry for ignoring you. I didn't know what to do-I still don't. I'm confused about a lot of stuff, so I'm sorry." She genuinely apologized, because if she was in his position she wouldn't want to be ignored either.
"Is it about me? What do I need to do?" He asked, looking up to meet her eyes.
"I don't know yet." She looked away from him, and down at Cyncere, watching as Von cleaned his hands with napkins.
"If it's good wit' you, I wanna fix me and you first. So that you can trust me with him. Only if it's okay with you." He suggested, letting Cyncere play with his diamond watch.
"We don't have anything to fix." She told him, and he shifted Cyncere in his lap, looking at her.
"Jayda what do I need to do ma? I don't wanna be doing this fake beefing with you. We got a kid together. Why can't we be cool? I'm trying to fix my mistake." His eyebrows furrowed a bit, and her leg began to lightly bounce underneath the table.
"We are cool Dayvon. You're here aren't you? You're holding your son. That's all you need right now." She said, and he sighed under his breath. There was no getting through to her.
"What's his middle name?" He asked, changing the subject.
"Jai. Cyncere Jai Bennett." She answered, and he met her eyes once more.
"You always said when you had a baby the middle name was gone be Jai whether it was a girl or a boy." He chuckled, and she let a small smile tug at her lips.
"I guess some things never change." She shrugged, drinking from her strawberry lemonade, and he slowly nodded, not sure if that had a double meaning or not.
"And who is dis'?" Cyncere asked, pointing out the tattoo on Von's neck.
"That's me. You like it?" He turned his head to show the tattoo better, and Cyncere nodded. He copied the hand sign that was shown on the tattoo, and both Jayda and Von laughed.
"Nah lil folks youn do that. You go like this." Von held up two fingers to do the peace sign, and Cyncere held him up middle finger, making Von's jaw dramatically drop.
"Oh my gosh." Jayda face palmed herself, smiling once Von laughed, Cyncere giggling.
"Papa I said no more of that. Bad ass little boy." She shook her head at him, and he smiled, wrapping his arms around Von's neck to pull himself up.
"This ABC?" Cyncere pointed to a cursive tattoo that was on his neck as well, and Von chuckled.
"Yeah. That's yo mama name." He told him, and Jayda rose an eyebrow. She reached over to grab his face, turning it so that she could see the tattoo.
'Jayda Rain' was tattooed in bold cursive ink, and her eyebrows slightly furrowed. "When did you get that?"
"Two years ago on Christmas Day. His birthday. I guess the universe got a way of knowing some shit." He chuckled, and she removed her hand from his face, sitting back in her seat.
"Why did you get that?" She asked, confused.
"Ion know. To remind myself what I was missing." He shrugged, not really knowing. It wasn't his only tattoo that was about her neither.
"You wouldn't have been missing anything if you hadn't left." She spoke, looking down at her hands. No matter how much she pretended to be over it, she didn't think she'd actually be able to fully let that go.
"I'm here now to fix it." He repeated his statement from earlier, and she rolled her eyes, shifting herself in her seat.
"You mommy friend?" Cyncere asked, holding his face in his small hands.
"Yeah. You mommy son?" Von returned, and Cyncere giggled, making him smile, nodding his head.
"I no want you to be my friend." He told him, and Von tilted his head to the side.
"Why not?"
"You make my mommy cry." He failed to whisper, and once Von looked up at Jayda, she turned her attention elsewhere.
"Papa." She warned, and he turned his head to face her, an identical frown to Von's matching the one on his face.
"He make you sad mommy." Cyncere reached for her, and Von lowly sighed, letting her grab him.
"I'm okay. I made myself sad, not him. So don't be mean to him, okay?" She rubbed over his hair that was braided back in fresh cornrows.
"Ok. I sorry for being mean." He looked over at Von, and his heart melted once he reached for him again.
"It's okay baby. Come hea'." He grabbed him, and Cyncere wrapped his arms around his neck in a hug.
"He doesn't like to be told when he's done something wrong. He's spoiled as hell, it makes him sad." Jayda chuckled, watching Von console him though nothing was actually wrong.
"You better stop being mean to him Jay." Von fake glared at her, and she laughed, making him smile.
"Dayvon I w-." Jayda paused after a few seconds had passed, unsure of whether or not she wanted to say it. Von met her eyes to let her know that he was listening, and she sighed.
"I didn't purposely keep him from you. I didn't find out until a month after you were already gone. I looked for you, but I couldn't find you. I figured you didn't want to be found by me anyways."
"I know that I should've tried harder to reach out, but I was so upset with you, and I was sad too. I thought that since you wanted nothing to do with me, you probably wouldn't want anything to do with Papa either. I was afraid, and I was by myself, so I didn't know what to do. I'm sorry." She spoke, relieved to have gotten that off her chest.
"It's okay. I'm not upset with you. I just want the chance to be here for him, and for you now. I shouldn't have left you Jay and you don't know how much I regret that shit. I didn't realize until a few weeks later, and even then I didn't go back. I'm sorry." He scanned his eyes over her sad expression that she tried to mask, and she nodded.
"Be honest-if I would've told you that I was pregnant, would you have stayed?" She asked, watching as Cyn began to doze off in his arms.
"I can't speak for the old me Jay. Maybe, maybe not, I'm not really sure. I was a kid, I was dumb and it was just a lot of shit going on for me. I had a bunch of different people telling me all kinds of shit that wasn't true, shit that fucked me up and I took it out on you, the only person who was on my side foreal."
"I don't know if I would've stayed Rain. But I changed, aight? That's not me no more. I know what the me today would do, and what I'm gonna do. I'm here now. I ain't going nowhere ma. I'ma do what I'm supposed to do as a father and as your ex-best friend." He chuckled at the last part, and she did as well, wiping under her eye.
"It's so hard Von. It's hard to believe you because I don't know this version of you yet. The you that I used to know lied to me every single day about nothing. About little shit. I don't want you to build a bond with my son if you're going to leave again." She told him, her voice lightly cracking.
"Jayda, look at me. Look." He softly grabbed her face, turning it to look at him.
"I ain't going no where. Maybe soon me and you could have a deeper conversation about what happened back then, and we can make a plan to start over. I swear to god I done changed fat mama. You know me ma. The me before I let that stupid clout chasing ass shit get to me."
"I'm still Cyn. I'm grandson Jay, you know me." He tilted his head a bit, and she nodded, wiping her face.
"That's a famous nickname for you now huh? They don't even know where you got grandson from they just calling you that ain't it?" She slyly smirked, and he smiled, nodding.
"Don't nobody know shit about me besides you. And ain't nobody a' ever know me the way that you do." He told her, and she chuckled, folding her arms across her chest.
"It's crazy being in front of you right now. Seeing you holding my baby. I never thought I'd see the day." She watched as he lightly rocked Cyncere in his arms.
"Girl imagine my face when I seen that you even had a kid, let alone when I realized he was mine." He smirked, and she laughed, rolling her eyes.
"I'm surprised I'm the only one that got pregnant, all them girls you was hitting." She shook her head at him, grabbing her drink.
"I ain't never in my life digged a hoe raw. You the only girl who I hit raw, on my grandma life." He told her, and she chuckled, stirring her strawberry pulp around a bit.
"I'm not sure if you're bragging orrrr..." She dragged out, and he laughed, making her smile.
"Yeah, I am. Nobody ever had me the way you did. And I mean that mentally, spiritually and sexually. All that shit. Been looking for you in every bitch I done came across." He admitted, and she looked up from her drink.
"Yeah, don't do that. I tried that too. Me and you don't ever be again, and if you continue looking for me-you're going to ruin your chances with the girl who's actually made for you."
"What if that girl is you though?" He asked, his tone soft, and her eyes fell from his gaze.
"It's not. I don't see you that way anymore, and I have a boyfriend, so I'd appreciate if you didn't make passes like that." She chuckled, and he leaned back in his seat, looking at her.
"I know you probably in love or whatever, but he a' never come close to what we had before I got down on my dick. You was my soulmate and I still believe that you are. I'm not gone hold you on the fact that I want you back." He truthfully told her.
"You don't treat your soulmates the way that you treated me." She responded, her eyes locked on his.
"I know. I was dumb as hell, I already know that. You ain't say nothin' about the other shit I said, you must agree?" He questions, and she shrugged.
"Yeah. Maybe what me and him have won't compare to what me and you had. Me and you raised each other, for fifteen years. But that's why you meet other people because you can't have two of the same relationships. Life is meant to find new love."
"What I can say is that the way he treats me now, is something I've never experienced before. So if you think you have a one up on him because we have history? You're mistaken. I don't see you that way anymore and I'm not sure if I ever could again. When I think of what you did to me I get disgusted-with both you and myself."
"That's not something I'm willing to put myself through again. I have a kid and I'm grown now, I know what I deserve, and you can't give that to me. We had fun with each other, but we not kids anymore Cyn. Leave the old us in the past. It won't happen again." She assured, and he kept his eyes locked on her the entire time.
"I don't believe any of what you just said." He replied, and she shrugged.
"That's a you problem and not a me problem." She shrugged once more, and Von sat up a bit, searching through her eyes as she stared at him.
"You don't love me no more?" He genuinely asked, and she tilted her head.
"Should I?" She rose an eyebrow in confusion. She honestly didn't even know the answer to that question.
"Do you?" He retorted, seeing that she was holding something back that she wanted to say.
"No. I don't think so." She answered, and he nodded his head. He didn't believe her. He laid Cyncere on the blanket from his baby bag, laying him on the booth seat, before sitting up at the table.
"I still love you. I love you more than I did three years ago, if I'm being honest. The shit that me and you had, I probably won't ever get that again, and that's my fault, I accepted my loss wit' you. You stayed by my side, when nobody did, when I wasn't even on my damn side."
"You risked everything for me, all the shit you had, I had. You shared everything with me, and gave everything that you had to make sure that I was always good. And I don't think I've done that for you since we was little kids. I regret that shit every day."
"And knowing how wrong I did you, how much hate you probably got for me, I still love you. I love you so much and I ain't never loved nobody the way that I love you. And I haven't found nobody else to love either, besides my son. No friends, none of my homies, the bitches I be with, ion love none of 'em."
"And it ain't they fault, it's because I don't know how to. The only person I allow myself to love is you, it's been that way since I was six. I missed you so much these last few years and seeing you now, become somebody on your own without no help-I'm so proud of you."
"I'm so damn proud of you Jayda. I love you so much, and seeing you do all that you have with a whole kid, not to mention the shit I put you through, our past trauma from when we was kids-you overcame all that. This shit beautiful to see."
"I hope he treating you right, 'cause that's all you deserve. You so perfect, I'm so proud of you fat mama. I'm sorry I couldn't be the man I should've been for you. I let a good thing slip out my hands, and that's my own fault. But you did good without me baby. I love you so much." He expressed what's been on his chest to her, watching tears stream down her face.
She stood from the booth, and he did as well, wrapping her up in a hug as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Why do you still have this affect on me? I should fucking hate you and you sitting here making me think about how much I love you. And how much I missed my best friend. Why couldn't you just be right for me Dayvon?" She softly cried on his chest, not too loudly to gain any attention.
"I don't know baby. I'm sorry." He held around her waist, comfortingly rubbing her sides.
"I love you so much. I'm so fucking sorry Jay." He mumbled, burying his face in her neck.
Do I care ab typos? Hell nah