The first thing I hear is the steady "beep-beep" of a heart recording near me. Then there is the sharp smell of disinfectant and alcohol. My fingers brush against a fresh cloth. Then I open my eyes. The room I'm in is dark, I can hardly make out anything. My vision is blurred, my eyelids heavy. I can feel my breath coming in and out, and it keeps coming back against my chin. I bring my hand to my mouth, intrigued, and feel a plastic shell surrounding my lower face. A mask... for breathing... I formulate simple thoughts, unable to do anything complicated. My mind spins in slow motion, I feel as if I am immersed in a heavy cotton mass. This heaviness is also felt in my body, which seems to weigh a ton, I can hardly move. It takes a lot of effort to put my arm back down. I blink several times in succession. Something is missing. I can't say what. I have this gaping hole in me that makes me realise that something is missing.
Suddenly it all comes back to me. Marineford. Whitebeard. Sengoku. Ace. Luffy. Akainu. Ace. Their faces run in a loop in my head. Then an image emerges suddenly and fixes itself on my retina. Ace. Ace in Luffy's arms, his chest bleeding, his eyes misty with tears. Luffy is saying words I don't understand, that I can't hear. His eyes beg me to help him. I can't move. I can't make a move.
The sound bursts in my ears. The screams. Luffy's long screams. He begs me to help him, he begs the whole world to help him, to save his brother, to save my brother. He screams as Ace's body hits the ground heavily.
Then flashes come back to me. It's a blur. Akainu. The look in Akainu's eyes. Another flash. The pain is unbearable. I see the world flickering around me. I am in pain. It hurts so much. I shouldn't be in pain. Why does it hurt so much?
The sound of the machine next to me is racing along with my breathing. I need air. Regaining some unsuspected energy, I rip off my oxygen mask and the hoses that were connected to my arms. I pull myself heavily out of the bed I'm on. My legs refuse to carry me, I collapse on the cold floor. My jaw hits the metal, the taste of blood fills my mouth. I need air. I want to get out. With tears in my eyes, I slowly crawl to the ground and find myself facing a door. I pull myself together, draw on what little resources I have left, get up and grab the handle as if my life depended on it. Fortunately for me it opens without difficulty. Good point, at least I am not a prisoner. I then begin a chaotic walk in a large corridor, leaning against the wall, my gaze riveted on the small circle of light that emanates at the end. Air... I need air. Sobs crush my throat as tears now roll down my cheeks. I cling to this light. In my head it's a storm of overlapping images and sounds, heckling and threatening to send me into pure madness.
**
"Captain, how long are we gonna keep the girl?"
"The Dark Lord gave me instructions. I have a meeting point for her. We just need to get her there and try to keep her alive until then."
"Don't you want to go to the New World instead?"
"Calm down, Penguin, there's no point in going there now, I've already told you. Besides, it's on a New World island that we have to drop off our guest. So let's wait for the big fish to eat each other and then we can go our own way."
"I don't like waiting!"
"Take it easy and be less noisy, you're starting to piss me-"
He was interrupted by the thud of the door suddenly opening. His eyes widened as he saw her take a few unsteady steps onto the deck of the submarine. He had never imagined that she could get up so early. She staggered, clinging to the railing, leaning forward as if she would topple into the ocean at any moment. He stood up, not really knowing if he was going to stop her from diving or not. He could see the tears rolling down her cheeks, running until they were lost in the foam that was forming around the Heart submarine. He saw her rib cage rise and fall heavily, in vain attempts to catch a breath that was inexorably escaping her. With her mouth open, no cry could get past her lips, only long complaints that mingled with the whistling of the wind. Soon her legs gave up again and she fell back. Finally sensing their presence, she turned around and what she saw finished her off. Overwhelmed by the bodies of the 15 crew members standing before her, she cowered in the corner of the deck, hand outstretched in a desperate attempt to defend herself. But he could see that her arm was shaking, as was her whole body, and that she was unable to concentrate on attacking. He sighed:
"Inside. Now."
Without reply, the crew nodded and they all went back into the submarine, one by one. She watched them pass by, not daring to move, and eventually found herself alone with him. The young woman was stunned by fear. She had obviously recognised him at first glance, and it was hard to forget his icy stare. He was wearing the same yellow and black jumper, the same white fur hat, the same tattoos on his hands, the same sword lying casually at his side. The only difference was that he had shed his mocking, arrogant grin, the one he had worn at Sabaody when she had first seen him. Lucia was alone with Trafalgar Law. The pirate's grey irises froze her in place. His gaze was icy, his eyebrows furrowed, and his air affable. He made no move towards her. It was her who stood up, trying to regain her composure. She couldn't put on a brave face, and soon her lips began to tremble and her knees went weak. Clenching her fist and jaw to the point of pain, she finally managed to formulate the thought that was running through her mind:
"Tell me it's not true... I beg you... tell me it's not true..."
His tone was pleading, desperate. Law swore that he had never seen such a sad and lost look as the one that clung to him at that very moment. He didn't feel empathy or compassion for her, he simply saw her pain. In a calm tone he answered her question:
"Yes, it did. It's true. Everything you remember is true."
She suffocated, her tears redoubling in intensity, and without even thinking, she rushed at the pirate. He took a step back, surprised by the strength she was able to muster. She clung to his jumper to keep from falling and, once stabilized, she pounded his chest with her fists.
"No! No! You're lying! YOU ARE LYING!"
Each of her blows was punctuated by her voice rising to a high pitch, bordering on hysteria, in an attempt to cover the voices and words that echoed in her head without stopping. She wasn't hurting him, she didn't have enough strength for that. He didn't fight back, didn't stop her. He just stood there, arms flailing, watching her screaming her anger and pain, hitting him to get it out.
"Let her cry, let her scream... don't stop her, but don't help her either. I don't know what kind of pirate you are, but I know what kind of woman she is. She'll be in such a fragile emotional state that if you reach out a hand, she'll be able to grab it and not be able to let go in the future. Let her face this alone, let her break down alone so that she can then get up again alone. She has to break down first before she can build herself up again."
Rehearsing Rayleigh's words, Law waited. When Lucia's legs couldn't carry her any further and she collapsed, he simply followed her movement, letting himself fall limply to the ground. So she stayed there, crying against him, her head still buried in her jumper, her cries barely muffled by the fabric and the wind, while he didn't say a word, didn't make a move. He was waiting.
She finally fell asleep, exhausted from having put so much strain on her body, from having cried so much. A physical and emotional exhaustion that knocked her out without her realising it. Law glanced at the position of the sun, she had been working against him for over an hour, no wonder she needed a rest. He sighed, he was now stuck on the deck with a completely broken piece of woman resting her weight against him.
"Room. Shambles."
With a confident gesture, he switched his sword with a pile of books from his cabin. If he had to wait here, it might as well be productive. He then grabbed the book that lay at the top of the stack and picked up where he had left off. It was an anatomy textbook, dedicated to heart surgery. Ironic, given his nickname and the name of his crew. He read the articles that interested him, skipped the pages that seemed trivial. For more than three hours he sat with his back to the railing of the submarine, reading and studying with only the lapping of the waves and the gentle whistling of the wind for company.
He was about to turn to the next double-page spread when a slender finger came to rest in the right-hand corner of the book to prevent it from turning. Intrigued, he looked down and noticed that Lucia was awake. Her eyes were red, her complexion pale, but he could see her irises moving from left to right, following the lines inked on the paper. She reached the bottom of the page and removed her finger, indicating that he could continue. Stunned, he took a few seconds to compose himself and actually change the page. Out of the corner of his eye he saw that she was resuming her reading, dutifully, looking concentrated, her face neutral. How could she go from total hysteria to calm? Perhaps she was broken? If the shock had been too violent, perhaps it had completely annihilated the young woman after all? Instinctively, he knew it wasn't that. She was still there. Captivated by this spectacle, he spent the rest of the afternoon turning pages without reading them, more focused on Lucia. She was hanging on. With all her might she was hanging on. Every letter, every word, every page. She was clinging to this book to keep her sanity. Law was fascinated, almost admiring, by the little flame that flickered, the little flame that she tried to protect from the wind and the rain, the little flame that he saw flickering in her eyes.
Finally, as dusk fell over the ocean, she took her eyes off the book. Without a word, in a supple gesture, she managed to get up and walked towards the railing opposite the one against which Law had been sitting for hours. She rested her elbows on it, letting the wind play with her long blue hair. She closed her eyes, enjoying the caresses of the sun as it disappeared further behind the horizon. Law, still on the ground, was content to gaze at her silhouette against the orange sky. When she turned back to him, her look had changed. There was still that fragility, but deep down, something new was being built. She looked at him gently, without apparent feeling, and merely nodded briefly. He did not answer, did not smile, did not move. This silent exchange was more meaningful than any dialogue. On either side of the bridge, the two young people looked at each other, with only the sun disappearing a little more each second and the sea surrounding them. Then slowly Lucia turned back to the door of the submarine, pushed the handle, and re-entered the Heart's ship, leaving the Surgeon of Death alone.
**
Inside, Lucia had barely taken a few steps into the main corridor of the submarine when a voice called out to her softly:
"Hey... Lucia?"
She turned around to face the polar bear who was none other than the second in command, Bepo the navigator. Intimidated by her gaze, he recoiled slightly before saying:
"Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you but you haven't eaten for a long time so... well you see... you can come with us if you want..."
He stammered for a moment, suddenly unable to formulate coherent sentences.
"Sorry," he mumbled, bowing, "I'm sorry."
He was surprised to see Lucia's hand pushing him up. She smiled softly at him as she tilted her head, inviting him to guide her into the unfamiliar ship. He did not hesitate and led her to the dining hall. The moment she stepped through the door frame and into the room, all conversation died down and eyes converged on her. Some stared at her without restraint, others tried to be more discreet, staring at their plates while glancing furtively at the young woman. Lucia swallowed, quite uncomfortable. Bepo did not let her go, indicating a seat and bringing her a bowl of hot ramen. She looked at the food for a long time, a heavy weight on her stomach preventing her from being really hungry. Saddened, Bepo encouraged her to take just one bite, to try it. She resolved to grab her chopsticks and bring the broth-soaked noodles to her lips. The salt awakened her taste buds, the noodles her stomach, the broth her thirst. She swallowed and took another bite, then another. She ended up eating the whole dish slowly. Bepo applauded her, showing her how happy he was. She smiled again, tenderly this time, at the bear's enthusiasm. She ran her fingers through the white fur of the Heart navigator and couldn't suppress a little shiver as it was so soft. He seemed to appreciate the caress and smiled with all his teeth.
Seeing that the current was flowing well, two other members of the crew joined them: Sacchi and Penguin. Lucia remembered seeing them on the Sabaody, the same three pirates who had fought a Pacifista alongside their captain. They began to talk to her about everything and anything, ending up bickering amongst themselves. Lucia didn't catch all of it, just noticing that they were blaming the polar bear for apologizing too much for nothing. She was still smiling and even let out a little laugh at their behaviour. They stood still, captivated by a sound they didn't expect to hear tonight. The delicate hiss of Lucia's laughter lit up their faces, fascinated by the crinkling of her eyes and her widening smile. Obviously, they had made this little scene on purpose. The whole crew had heard her screaming at Law on the bridge, they had all heard her crying, breaking down. They had all been touched by Lucia's pain. Helpless because their captain had ordered them to return, they had not even consulted each other, but none of them wanted to leave her alone. Finally, in the refectory, it was the whole crew who took care to include Lucia in the discussions, to talk to her, to accompany her. She did not say a word, but her smile remained on her face.
Feeling a look on the back of her neck, she turned her head towards the door that led to the corridor and was not surprised to see Law watching the scene from afar. With a knowing look on his face, he nodded at her and left. Lucia knew that the first day was over. They would see tomorrow for the rest.