Nat's place was in a medium-rise condominium in Pasig.
The gable roof was dark brown while the façade was painted white with gray trim.
The porch had a glass and metal railing and it overlooked the parking lot.
Fifteen minutes before 8pm ay nasa parking lot na ako.
I was still debating kung tama ba ang desisyon ko to show up.
Pero ayoko naman na ako ang maging reason para maging unemployed si Chloe.
I mean ganoon ba kaheartless si Lexie para sisantihin siya just because things didn't go according to plan?
Hindi pa ba sapat ang seven hundred roses para maging masaya ang lola niya?
Kahit naman siguro sisantihin si Chloe ay makakahanap pa din siya ng ibang trabaho di ba?
Ako nga itong mawawalan ng kita.
Ako din ang lalong mababaon sa utang dahil I have to take another loan from the bank para manatiling bukas ang flower shop.
I have more to lose kapag nagsara ang Una Rosa.
Pride ko nga lang ba ang reason kung bakit hanggang ngayon ay bukas pa din ang Una Rosa?
But I made a promise to Lola before she passed away.
Alam ko na mahalaga sa kanya ang negosyo na tinayo niya.
Pero kahit naman isara ko ang flower shop ay alam ko na hindi siya magagalit.
She was the most understanding person I know.
Kung buhay pa siya at nakikita na lugi na ang negosyo ay baka siya pa ang magsabi na magsara na kami.
I could imagine her telling me that I have to learn how to give up the fight.
But it was not easy to put up the white flag.
I won't surrender as long as there's still a chance.
Pareho lang kami ni Kuya Basti.
Hirap siya na i-let go ang trauma na ginawa ng Damasco Corporation.
Ako naman, hindi ko matanggap na nagfail ako sa promise ko kay Lola.
Sa tatlong magkakapatid, hindi ako nabiyayaan ng ganda tulad ni Ate Jocelyn.
Commercial at print ad model siya.
Nadiscover sa mall when she was thirteen years old.
Mas mukha siyang foreigner kesa sa Pinoy.
Namana niya ang good looks and mestiza features ng mga Concepcion.
Ate had delicate features, maganda ang bone structure, matangkad, maputi and she had this mysterious air that drew people to her.
Dahil kapatid ko siya, there was nothing mysterious about her.
Kabaliktaran nga kasi si Ate ay very open, spontaneous at down-to-earth.
She was not a diva despite being famous and popular.
Sa New York na siya nakatira at umuuwi lang sa Pinas during Christmas vacation.
Si Kuya Basti ay may itsura rin at matalino.
Accelerated twice during elementary kaya maaga nakagraduate.
Nagdouble major pa ng accounting at business management sa college dahil why not?
Pagkagraduate, nag-aral pa ng law dahil why not nga di ba?
Tapos ako na.
Hindi naman ako panget at hindi din naman ako bobo.
Maputi din naman ako at tulad nila na matangos rin ang ilong.
My hair was the same light brown color.
Pero hindi tulad nila na makinis ang kutis, I have freckles on my cheeks pati na din sa ibabaw ng ilong.
Pagdating sa academics, pasado naman ang mga grades ko.
Hindi ako honor student pero hindi naman ako bagsak sa mga subjects.
I'm an average student and an average person.
But there were two things na wala sa mga kapatid ko--my passion for horticulture and the light colored eyes na namana ko sa side ng mga Concepcion.
My gray eyes were a chick magnet and a conversation starter.
Too bad I didn't use it to my advantage.
But going back to horticulture, love na love ako ni Lola kasi ako ang katulong niya sa garden.
Sa magkakapatid, ako ang nagpakita ng interest na sumunod sa yapak niya.
We could talk for hours about flowers.
Pero ang pinakagusto namin pag-usapan ay ang mga roses at ang iba't-ibang varieties at properties nito.
For a science experiment in high school, I made tea from roses.
This was before it became chic to drink flavored tea.
Binigyan ako ng teacher ng one-hundred na grade.
Ang sabi pa nga niya, puwede ko daw i-pursue na business ang paggawa nito.
But I didn't want to sell tea.
I have other plans.
Una Rosa was not just a flower shop.
It was Lola's legacy to me.
Hindi kay Mommy at Daddy, hindi kay Ate at Kuya Basti.
Sa akin.
Kaya kahit tumanda ako bigla dahil sa dami ng problema ay gumagawa ako ng paraan para matupad ang pangako ko kay Lola.
I will do what I can to keep the business open.
Even if it meant going out to dinner with the woman I ghosted.
Bago bumaba sa truck ay kinuha ko ang lavender na nakalagay sa crystal vase.
For this supposed dinner, I tried to look businesslike but not too much.
Ang matino at malinis na outfit na nahagilap ko sa closet ay blue twill chino, gray button down shirt and loafers.
I skipped using cologne because this is a not a date.
I have to make an effort but I don't want Natalie to think that I overdid it.
Baka isipin niya na nagpabango ako dahil magkikita kami.
I checked my watch.
Limang minuto pa bago ang usapan namin.
Pumasok ako sa condo at dumiretso sa elevators.
At exactly 8 pm, I rang the doorbell.
Pagbukas nang pinto ay napanganga ako.
Nat was outfitted in denim capris, a gray ribbed cotton tee and worn out blue canvas shoes.
There was mischief in her caramel colored eyes.
"Are you taking me out on a date?" She arched an eyebrow as she let go of the door.
"No. No. It's not that." I felt so overdressed.
"Pero dinner ang sabi mo di ba?"
The side of her eyes crinkled with amusement.
"Your idea of dinner is at a fancy restaurant, candlelit, white linen tablecloth, a gazillion utensils and cutleries and flowing wine. Just like what you did the first time you asked me out."
"No. That's not what I had in mind."
"Eh bakit bihis na bihis ka? At may dala ka pang bulaklak." Dumako ang tingin niya sa hawak kong vase.
"Hindi mo naman ako masyadong binigyan ng details. You just said to pick you up at sagot ko. That's it." I said, embarrassed and annoyed.
Nahalata niya na nabuwisit ako.
Feeling ko this was a prank.
I was not happy about it.
Hinawakan niya ako sa braso at nag-apologize.
"Ito naman. Hindi ka na mabiro."
Bumuntong-hininga ako.
"Can we go so we can get this over with?"
Kumunot ang noo niya at nawala ang ngiti.
"Don't forget, Isa, ikaw ang humihingi ng pabor. You don't have control in this situation dahil ngayon pa lang, puwede kong i-deny ang request mo." Her tone was harsh.
"Ni hindi mo man lang ako kinumusta when you called. Tapos ngayong nandito ka, ni hindi ka nagsorry tungkol sa ginawa mong panggoghost sa akin then ikaw pa 'tong may ganang magalit?"
"Nat, I'm not angry. I'm just under a lot of stress right now."
Bumukas ang pinto ng neighbor niya.
The old man frowned at us.
Hindi man lang kasi ako pinapasok ni Nat kaya I was standing in the hallway habang nasa loob pa rin siya.
We waited till he was out of earshot bago kami ulit nag-usap.
Hindi pa din niya ako niyayang pumasok.
"Give me the flowers."
Before I could answer, she took the vase from me.
"Kukunin ko lang ang bag ko tapos alis na tayo." Tumalikod siya without waiting for a response.
Pagbalik niya, she had a blue canvas backpack on her shoulder.
Sinara niya ang pinto at lumakad na kami towards the elevator.
I still don't know what her plans are for dinner.
"Tell me what happened." Tanong niya pagsakay namin sa elevator.
"I thought I was ready to date. Hindi pa pala."
"Hindi iyon. This order you were talking about." Ngumiti siya.
Uminit bigla ang pisngi ko.
I thought she was asking about why I ghosted her.
Natalie smiled and it made me relax a little.
"Bago iyan, I owe you a proper apology."
The door opened at pumasok ang isang babae bago ko masabi ang mga gusto kong sabihin.
The girl looked up, stared and then smiled before turning her back on us.
Nat rolled her eyes.
When we reached the mezzanine, the elevator door opened.
Before the girl stepped out, she turned around, gave me one last look and winked.
Nat breathed out loudly not hiding her annoyance.
"Be nice." I said as we walked to the exit.
"Ang landi." Malakas na sabi niya.
The girl heard her.
Lumingon ito sa amin.
"Nat," Hinila ko siya sa braso at binagalan ko ang lakad to give the girl more headway.
Mukhang hindi din niya aatrasan si Nat.
She may be taller but Nat is very feisty.
I witnessed this when we went out dancing.
Nag-ayos talaga siya for our date and she looked smokin' that night.
Nat wore a black tight fitting dress that showed off her butt and shapely legs.
When I saw her, I was struck.
That was the very first time I saw her in such an outfit.
The first time we met, she looked rugged in tattered jeans, well-worn cotton tees and the same canvas shoes she had on now.
Her hair was a messy bun because she came to the shop in a rush.
That night, we just came out of the bar ng may isang lalakeng sumipol sa kanya.
Nat turned around and called him an asshole.
I thought the guy was going to go after us pero napigil nang mga kasama nito.
One of them even apologized.
"Tuwang-tuwa ka naman diyan." Hinila niya ang braso sa pagkakahawak ko at mabilis na naglakad sa parking lot.
"Am I supposed to be upset na may nakaka-appreciate sa akin?"
She walked faster and I doubled my pace.
"Siguro kaya mo ako ghinost kasi may nakilala kang iba? Mas maganda, mas sexy, mas game. Tulad niya." Nginuso niya ang babae na pumasok na sa sarili nitong kotse.
"What are you talking about?" Tumigil ako sa likuran ng asul na truck.
Nat kept walking.
Napangiti lang ako pero hinayaan ko lang siya.
Maybe the extra steps will help her walk off the anger.
Nang mahalata niya na hindi niya na ako kasabay ay tumigil siya at lumakad pabalik sa puwesto ko.
"Iyan naman ang obvious reason di ba?"
"Narealize mo siguro na there was someone better out there at dahil hindi mo ako kayang harapin, nagdecide ka na lang na mas mabuti kung hindi mo sasagutin ang mga texts ko. That way, you don't have to confront me. You will send your message without actually making an effort."
"Nat," Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya.
"We've only gone out for what? Two months? How could you say that I found someone better when I was just starting to know you?" I smiled at her.
To be fair, I like the things I discovered about you." I gave her hand a light squeeze.
"Talaga?" Nabawasan na ang galit niya.
"Eh bakit naglaho ka kung gusto mo pala ang mga bagay na nalaman mo tungkol sa akin?"
"During our fourth date, I realized I was being unfair. Hindi pa din ako totally nakakapagmove on sa last relationship ko."
"At hindi mo magawang sabihin sa akin ng diretso kaya you chose the most disrespectful way to go about it ganoon?"
"Naduwag ako and felt foolish about it. I tried calling you pero the longer I put it off, the easier it was to accept that I will never make that call kaya hinayaan ko na lang."
"Kung hindi dahil sa sitwasyon ngayon will you ever reach out?"
"I don't think so. Paninindigan ko na lang ang pagiging duwag than face the awkwardness."
"Parang hindi mo naman ako nirespeto. I'm a big girl you know. Kaya kong harapin ang rejection. That's one thing you should know about me." She smiled.
"I know you are. I'm the one who's afraid."
Her expression softened.
Nawala na ang pagiging dragon.
"At least now, that thing is out of the way. I could stop thinking na baka may nasabi or nagawa ako na hindi mo nagustuhan. Or I'm not good enough for you kaya you disappeared into thin air."
"Nat, you're more than enough. You're smart, witty, good with business and people and..."
"And what?" She inched closer.
I looked in her warm brown eyes and for a moment forgot all the worries that began a few hours ago.
It was just the two of us in the middle of an empty parking lot.
I traced my fingers on the outside of her forearm and let it settle on her elbow.
Nat's throat rose and fell and she parted her lips.
I leaned closer and inhaled the smell of jasmine and mint in her hair.
A few inches away from kissing her, someone honked.
We were both startled.
I let go of her arm and Nat's hand flew to her chest.
She let out a long exhale.
"Really?" She yelled at the van driver na dumiretso sa basement parking lot nang condo.
"I guess we'd better go." I unlocked the car.
"Panira ng moment. Buwisit." Sabi niya as she turned around to go to the passenger seat.
Napangiti na lang ako.
I felt the same way but I guess it was not the right time for a kiss.