Jesy dressed the best she could for this evening. Got my fake secrets ready and everything. She knew that if someone told her their secrets that she would feel obliged to tell them hers so this was guaranteed to work. And I'll never tell a soul what I know about her and then she'll realize how trustworthy I truly am.
She walked confidently into the popular food place and was immediately disgusted by the number of teenagers here. Jeesh. It's a school night and yet here everyone is. A lot of the people here were from her school but many weren't. Oh well. She looked around for a space for her and Leigh to sit and spotted one towards the corner. Told her to meet me here at seven and right now it's five minutes to that hour so I'm early. Maybe it was because she was excited. Hope she won't be late. Jesy was usually the type to come late to things but if anyone did it to her she would be notably angry at that person and seek to destroy them. It's cute when I'm late but not on anyone else.
Jesy sat down and got her phone out to scroll mindlessly through TikTok. Or maybe I should send her a message. She did not want to look desperate so she continued what she was doing.
At exactly seven p.m, she looked to the door to see if Leigh-Anne would somehow appear there at the exact time and . . . she did.
Leigh-Anne closed the glass door behind her and looked around in confusion for where Jesy might be.
Jesy stared at her. She's gotta spot me at some point.
Leigh-Anne tapped her chin in confusion at the door for a while longer, clearly not seeing Jesy.
Jesy sighed then raised her hand.
Leigh-Anne took a while but she spotted her and smiled before walking up to her.
Jesy smiled tightly as the girl approached.
"Hi Je- ah!" Leigh-Anne tripped on her feet and nearly fell over.
Jesy's eyes widened. "You okay?"
Leigh-Anne got her balance together quick and took a seat just as fast. "I'm fine."
Jesy observed how she awkwardly tapped her thumbs after that. What a loser. She started laughing softly.
Leigh-Anne blushed. I hope no one else saw that. She surveyed their surroundings and caught a lot of people staring. Oh gosh. Why did she have to draw attention to herself that way? "So um . . . have you ordered anything to eat yet? What's the menu like? Oh here they are." She picked up a menu which was lying on the table before her and started looking through it. "I think I'll take some barbecue wings and chips but I'm new here. What do you usually order Jesy?"
Jesy sat back. "They got chilly fries that go pretty hard. And when you order 'em, you get a side of chicken nuggets covered in barbecue sauce. It tastes awesome."
Leigh nodded. "Okay I'd like to try that but I also want to try their barbecue wings so . . ."
"Just order two meals I guess? Or maybe you can order the wings and I can get the chilly fries and we can share." Jesy winked.
Leigh-Anne blushed again. "That sounds great."
"Awesome." Jesy snapped her fingers at a waiter and noticed people whispering and glancing. Way to be obvious dipshits. They were also taking pictures with their phones. It was only a matter of time until people approached them.
So they ordered their meals and proceeded to start their chat as they waited for them to be brought.
"So . . ." Jesy was trying to figure out how to get this conversation going. "Heard Perrie saying stuff about you two heading off to LA this weekend?"
"She mentioned that? Yes we are. The boys of 5SOS are ready to record their song with Perrie and I'm coming because Perrie wants me to so we'll see how it all goes." Leigh-Anne was kind of excited for that.
Jesy nodded. "You're not gonna sing with Perrie?"
"No. I'm too shy to sing."
"What if an acting role requires you to do that?" Jesy was playing with a salt shaker.
Leigh-Anne made a face. "Then I won't take it."
Jesy gasped. "You won't take another big role if they ask you to sing?"
Leigh-Anne shrugged. "No one knows me as a singer so I don't think they'd ever ask me to sing but if they did I wouldn't . . . or maybe I would-"
"What's your deal with singing though?" Jesy laughed a bit. "Did your sister hate singing or something? The dead one I mean. Maybe there's some trauma there."
"No not at all. My big sister would sing to me all the time." Leigh-Anne remembered her lullabies. "She could sing quite well actually. Maybe if she was still around she'd be the singer of the three of us. She would sing, I'd act and model and Sairah would do her games but . . . that's not how things happened."
"Yeah if she didn't die then you wouldn't be here at all." Jesy tapped the side of her head. "Blessing in disguise."
Leigh-Anne did not like that take but she would ignore it. "How are you finding being in the A-level class-"
"Ugh. You talk like someone's parent." Jesy laughed at her. "Leigh-Anne how often do you ask people about trendy things like the latest TV serieses?"
Leigh-Anne blinked. "I don't really watch TV so it wouldn't make sense if I asked about a TV series."
Jesy smiled. "That's so strange but somehow it just fits with you."
"If you want you can tell me about the latest TV show you've watched. I'd be happy to listen." Leigh-Anne tapped her fingers on the table.
"You're just too . . . it's okay. You're you and it works." Jesy left Leigh-Anne alone. "When you go back to LA you should try to make good use of being there. For people like you and Perrie opportunities might just walk right up to you."
"People like me and Perrie? Oh you mean because we're models?"
"Yeah. I used to be an IG model but . . . my career got flushed down the toilet." Jesy rested her elbow on the table to sigh.
"Here you go." The waiter brought them their meals.
Leigh was happy when it was here. "Thank you so much." She smiled at the guy.
"Uh you're welcome?" He seemed a bit nervous as he walked away and kept peeking over his shoulder.
Jesy wondered if Leigh-Anne noticed every single person here staring at her and obviously recording her. I'll give 'er time. "You don't have to thank the waiters for doing their jobs you know."
"Everyone thanks waiters. I think." Leigh-Anne started digging in. "How should we do this? I eat half of this, you eat half of that and then we switch?"
"That can work. Or we could get the waiter to get us extra plates so we could distribute the halves onto them- hey waiter!" Jesy decided that that was the best option.
"Oh yeah. If they won't mind we can try that." Leigh-Anne watched as the waiter came back up to them. He looked about their age.
When they had executed Jesy's plan, Leigh proceeded to try the barbecue chicken nuggets.
"Mm. It's good." She said after swallowing. She licked around her mouth.
"I know right? Good, good stuff." Jesy sipped her drink. "So you and Perrie are pretty close."
"Yeah we are. She's my best fri- oh wait." Leigh-Anne looked away for a moment.
Jesy was confused. "What?"
Leigh faced Jesy again. "Is it weird when I say she's my best friend since she started off as yours?"
"Eh. It doesn't matter that much. I'm my own person now. I fly solo. I mean the other people I hang with are just kind of acquaintances in my life- oh see that? You should get it 'cause you don't want people close either."
Leigh-Anne didn't know Jesy felt that way too. "Oh okay. So you're not comfortable labeling any of them as a best friend?"
"Nah. I know that they care about me and I care about them but we . . . the history . . . it's messy." Jesy thought back to when things had been simple and everyone had been toxic. "It's been that way for a while with me. I don't really want a best friend if I'm being honest . . . or more like the person I have in mind probably doesn't wanna consider me as that." Jesy was planting the seeds.
Leigh-Anne put some food in her mouth and chewed before swallowing. "If you mainly don't want a best friend then maybe it's best that you don't have one for real. What is it though? A trust thing?"
Jesy tried not to smirk. "Guess I kinda have trust issues but I don't know." She looked off. Man these people can't even try to be subtle. She wondered what would happen once they got up to leave.
"Why?" Leigh-Anne had food in her mouth when she asked this.
"Eh . . ." Jesy sighed for the aesthetic. "I talk to Dr Jung all the time but sometimes it'd be nice to have someone who's not hired to help me listen you know?"
Leigh-Anne was becoming a bit confused. "So you want to have a best friend to confide in but your trust issues are in the way?"
"You could say that kinda . . . I don't know how to explain it. I probably sound crazy to you." Jesy laughed awkwardly on purpose as she fiddled with her fingers. Who does this? Who's mannerisms was she stealing? Just some random awkward person I must have seen before. Or maybe she made all of this up.
"Don't say that Jesy. You're not crazy just 'cause your feelings are hard to explain. Believe me, I'm the queen of confusing feelings." Leigh-Anne laughed a little at herself.
Jesy felt like she was letting her guard down. "Ha ha I don't know if you've ever had feelings as complex as I have."
Leigh tilted her head. "I don't really know how you feel but I know that for myself that my emotions can get pretty nonsensical and . . . odd." She shook her head. "But I won't get into all of that here. My mind has been pretty clear these days so I'm grateful."
"Good for you 'cause this circus is never clear." Jesy pointed to her own head.
Leigh-Anne felt bad for her. "That must be awful."
"Trust me. It is." Jesy's mind hadn't been cluttered at all these days. She was basically at peace but was saying all of this to somehow get Leigh-Anne to trust her.
Leigh-Anne wanted to help. "Have you tried talking to your mum? Sometimes when my mind's all messed up I talk to Marcy. Dr Jung says it's good to interact with people you trust- or do you not trust your mum either?"
Jesy sighed very long. "She's the sweetest woman in the world but she doesn't . . . get me."
Leigh twisted her mouth. "She doesn't have to get you to listen."
"I know but um . . ." Jesy was staring at her plate. I'm a good actress. She didn't care about anything she was saying. "Can I tell you something?" Her voice became softer.
Leigh-Anne was starting to think that Jesy invited her out to eat with her one on one so she could unload her recent trials. She always seems so put together but I guess she's been hurting inside. "What is it?" She dropped her volume too.
"I've been . . . oh God. Should I really say this out loud?" Jesy sounded like she was in serious pain.
Leigh became worried. "Wh-what is it?"
Jesy sniffed and wiped her eyes. "Sorry." There were no tears though. "Right after my dad died like three years ago, I'd been having dreams about me seeing the accident he'd been in. I'd dream of myself being next to him, watching him die or I'd be a bystander or I'd be . . . the-the dreams went away after I started talking to a therapist but now. . . I guess since I've been feeling kind of down lately . . . they're back." She held the side of her head. "And sometimes they're like daydreams too. It really disrupts my day because . . ." she looked into Leigh's eyes, willing hers to produce tears. "Can you imagine seeing the person you love, someone who was taken from you long ago, die before your eyes every day again? After you worked so hard to let it go for it to all come back just because you started feeling down again?"
Leigh-Anne frowned. "Did you see what happened? Y-you were there when it happened Jesy?" Her eyes widened with worry and concern.
"No but my mind keeps torturing me by creating what it might have looked like and-and playing it through my mind." Jesy did gestures next to her head to show how tortured she felt. I ain't never had no dream anything close to what I'm saying but it was the best I could come up with. This sounded personal enough right? I think she's buying it. Jesy didn't even know if what she was describing could happen.
Leigh-Anne seemed thoughtful. "Have you talked to Dr Jung about these nightmares? They sound awful Jesy."
Jesy was internally rolling her eyes. "I don't know. I feel like it's been too long for this stuff to still be haunting me you know?"
Leigh-Anne remembered the thing that she was too ashamed to bring up to the same therapist. Maybe that was how Jesy felt. But she should still . . . And now she was starting to understand better what her father had been saying. "Don't feel bad Jesy. It's how you feel and if you need help it's okay to ask for it. You have all the tools to help you to feel better so use them. I'm sure Dr Jung will know what to do." She was also kind of saying this to herself. I'll message Dr Jung tonight so I don't chicken out.
Jesy sniffed. Yes she managed to force tears. "Well . . ."
Leigh hoped she would take her advice. "Your feelings are always valid. U-unless you want to kill an innocent person." She had a finger raised when she said her last sentence.
Jesy sighed.
Leigh-Anne was attentive to what she would say.
"Okay." Jesy smiled.
Leigh clapped for her. "Great Jesy. I'm very proud of you."
Jesy chuckled. "Guess I'm proud of me too." She looked away briefly. "Thanks Leigh-Anne. It was hard for me to share that secret with you but I did and now I feel better . . ." She rubbed her arms as if insecure. "Although it kinda makes me feel funny that you know that now."
Leigh shook her head. "No need to feel bad. I don't judge. And there's nothing to be ashamed of okay?"
Jesy put on a sad face.
Leigh-Anne tried to catch her eye. "What's wrong?" Was there something else burdening Jesy?
"I . . . it might . . . it might make me feel a little better if you told me something." Jesy said as soft as a mouse.
Leigh-Anne heard her though she sounded very little. Her voice sounded kind of cute actually. "Tell you what?"
"You helped me after I shared something so maybe I can help you? So we can be even and I can feel a little less awkward?" Jesy put on a tiny embarrassed smile. "Only if you want but it would help me to feel a bit less . . . funny."
Leigh-Anne kept eating. She wiped her mouth after swallowing something. "Like a secret?"
"Yeah or maybe tell me about something that's been bothering you- does your sister's suicide still bug you?"
Leigh-Anne remembered that night briefly and stopped chewing the food she had in her mouth. She snapped out of it to swallow before answering. "It does bother me but I'd rather not talk about that."
You'd talk about it to Perrie. "But not as bad as before right?"
"Yeah. It doesn't bother me as much as before and I'm happy for that." Leigh thought briefly of the time she started imagining her sister at the back of Sairah's party. "But sometimes . . . anyway. Um . . ." She was trying to think of something to share with Jesy so she'd feel less uncomfortable. "Did I ever tell you that I sometimes talk to my plush toys? And Kyro too. It's not as deep as what you've shared but it's something a little strange I guess." Kyro's picture came to mind. "Although, I've got a very strong feeling that Kyro understands everything I say and responds accordingly." That dog was too smart for his own good.
Jesy was very disappointed. "I think everyone knew that about you."
"Really?" Leigh smiled. "I don't remember saying that to anyone. Did someone catch me talking to Kyro? Or maybe Nemo and BMO? I've got one called Rocco now. He was a gift from the time I met my dad. Dad helped me name him. He's a pink plush bear."
Jesy was bored. "That's nice but um . . . maybe I can help with something deep inside that's been bothering you." She tried to sound vulnerable like she had earlier.
Leigh-Anne was done with her chilly fries and chicken nuggets but it looked like Jesy wasn't eating her food. I wonder why. "No it's okay. You don't owe me anything for my help. I'm just glad I could get through to you." She started trying to eat her other meal.
That was not what Jesy wanted to hear. "What's the worst thing you've ever experienced?"
Leigh slowly looked away from her plate to Jesy's face.
"I'll go first. The worst thing I've ever experienced is . . ." Jesy squinted her eyes and shook her head before breathing heavily. Man I'm killing this.
"Jesy maybe it would be best to put your trauma away for now. You haven't even touched your food Jesy. We wouldn't want it to go to waste now would we?" She pointed at the food on Jesy's plate.
Why is she so . . . Jesy shook her head internally. "No it's okay. I can eat." She started cutting away at her meat before placing some in her mouth.
Leigh liked that. "Good." She continued eating too. "Now let's try talking about . . . do you want to see pictures of my bear?"
Jesy did not. She looked away. "Man Leigh. You were really right. I shouldn't have offered to talk about my worst experience 'cause now it's in my head."
Leigh-Anne set her utensils down. "Would you like me to get you home Jesy? I'm getting the feeling that you're not in the frame of mind to be out and about right now."
Why does this shit keep backfiring? What was wrong with Leigh-Anne? "No it's okay. I just . . . what do you do when you think of horrible experiences? You've probably had a lot more than me. Maybe even some you won't tell other people about because they're just so God awful." Jesy was inspecting Leigh's face.
"Um . . ." Leigh's eyes wandered to her plate. "When I keep thinking bad thoughts and remembering bad experiences I usually just try to distract myself until they go away. And before I knew it I started thinking less and less about the bad things so . . . maybe we can talk about something else to get you to-"
"What about the really really bad stuff that just stays and stays and they're so bad that you'd only repeat the experience to one person who you apparently trust more than anyone else on earth." Jesy sounded spiteful by the end.
Leigh-Anne was very confused by how Jesy worded that. "The same thing? Jesy why did you say all of that?"
"What does Perrie know?" It just fell off Jesy's tongue. She couldn't hold it back anymore.
Leigh-Anne didn't get it. "What does Perrie-" and now she remembered their conversation outside of her house. She frowned. "Wait Jesy . . . have you just been trying to get me to tell you the secrets I shared with Perrie?"
Jesy's eyes darted from left to right slowly. "Uhh . . no?"
Leigh examined Jesy's behaviour. She seemed way less sad and unsure now that she had blurted out that question. Her shoulders fell. "Jesy why . . . are you actually struggling with nightmares or did you just make that up?"
Jesy started sweating. "Okay everything I've been saying has been a lie but . . . Leigh I want you to trust me again."
"But you just lied about all of that. Why do you want to know what I told Perrie so bad?" Leigh-Anne didn't understand this at all.
"I don't know because-because . . . I miss having secrets between the two of us?" Jesy sounded insecure. "You told me so many stuff while we were together back then but it's like . . . I'm jealous of Perrie I guess. I wanna be the one who knows stuff about you."
Leigh-Anne was shaking her head. "I know what it's like to be jealous Jesy but you-you . . ." She felt pretty sad. "You manipulated me."
Jesy held the sides of her head. "I know, I know. I . . . I'm sorry."
Leigh sighed into her plate. "I forgive you." She said softly.
Jesy had felt like crying but hearing Leigh whisper this helped. "Okay I guess that if Perrie's the one that you trust then I should just leave it alone right?"
"You should." Leigh didn't feel like eating anymore. "I don't even think that it was good for me to tell Perrie one of the things she knows since it was so disturbing. I feel like it bothers her a lot when she remembers it but she's scared to tell me." She rubbed one of her arms.
Jesy's eyes widened. "Oh my God." She leaned in to whisper. "Were you raped?"
Leigh-Anne shook her head. "Nothing like th-"
"Did a freak ask you to look at his dick? They do that, you know. To kids. Nasty ass perverts." Jesy sat back. "Why do grown people even want kids near their . . . stuff? I'd never understand it. I mean I've done my share of inappropriate shit but never with kids."
Leigh-Anne wanted to go home. "Yeah it can be very upsetting for children to see . . anyway. Are you going to eat more Jesy?"
Jesy looked at her plate. "Guess I could take this home. Why?"
"It's getting kind of late and I'm pretty tired." Leigh-Anne was staring at her drink.
Jesy cringed. "I ruined the vibe didn't I?"
Leigh-Anne didn't want to hurt her feelings. Even though she tricked me into coming out with her just to try to get me to share my darkest secrets. Who did that? I guess I understand since it was all rooted in jealousy but . . . She had to shake her head.
Jesy sighed. "I'll make it up to you okay? What do you like? Dogs? Cats? You like animals right?" Her guilt was overwhelming. This was a bad idea. Leigh-Anne seemed so sad.
"It's okay. I'm just going to call my mum now." Leigh got her phone out and dialed Marcy's number.
Jesy felt like a failure. Nooo! She should have thought this through better.
"Okay. We'll wait for you outside." Leigh-Anne pushed her phone back in her pocket once the call was over. "Marcy's coming to pick us up." She was looking for the waiter boy. She spotted someone and waved her hand at them so they could come pack up their stuff.
Jesy sighed as she watched everything get put in Styrofoam bowls.
"Thank you. The food was lovely." Leigh-Anne got up with her bowl in hand and waited for Jesy to get up too.
Jesy looked sadly at her once they were both standing. "I- would you believe me if I said this was my last f*ck up?"
Leigh-Anne looked at her. "Don't make promises you can't keep." She started walking away after saying this.
Jesy followed her with eyes on her feet.
Leigh was just about to exit the door but a bunch of people barred the exit. "Oh . . . sorry we just-"
"Can you sign this? D's Angels Instagram is insane!"
"I saw you on The Brit Life! I ship Trey and Christel so hard!"
"Lexy was so heinous! You were amazing!"
"You're hot!"
"Your dad is hot!"
"Where's Perrie?"
"You're like a rising star!"
"Why's your Insta on private?" They were all speaking at the same time.
Jesy had even forgotten about the people who had been staring all night. Now they choose to come 'round all at once.
Leigh-Anne didn't feel like talking to anyone but she didn't want to be rude. "Thanks for all the compliments. How many of you would like me to sign something for you?" She saw a lot of hands go up. "Okay. I'll sign your things one by one- picture? Yes I can take pictures with everyone. No problem." She smiled as she proceeded to start signing but she felt really bad while doing so.
Jesy watched Leigh put on a performance for everyone as if she hadn't just been manipulated. Damn. This stings even more.
"Thank you!" Everyone was going back to their seats and talking excitedly.
"No problem. Take care." Leigh-Anne waved and then left the scene with Jesy.
They were standing on the sidewalk, waiting for Marcy now.
Jesy wasn't sure what to say. "Y-" She squinted once she saw a flash come from across the street.
Leigh squinted too and she could now see people with cameras snapping away from a distance. "They're everywhere I go these days. I wonder how they know where to find me." It sounded like she was speaking to herself.
Jesy heard her. "Those kids in there probably posted about it."
Leigh-Anne sighed. "They're fast then." There were quite a few camera people snapping away at her. She hoped she wouldn't look too sad in their pictures.
"Would you be happy if I got you a kitten?"
"Why would you?" Leigh-Anne was staring right at the people with their cameras. She wondered if they would ever get tired of taking pictures of her.
"To try to lessen the severity of the wound I just gave you." Jesy felt desperate.
Leigh sighed. "Don't do that. I just need time."
Jesy gulped. "Are you mad?"
"I sort of expect this stuff from you at this point but somehow I still am."
"Y-you don't look mad. You look really sad."
"I'm just hurt."
Jesy licked her lips. "I've learned my lesson now. I won't force people to tell me stuff when they don't want to."
Leigh-Anne found this synonymous to how she felt about Sairah. Was this how she felt? She hadn't manipulated Sairah into doing anything but . . . We interact more now but it feels kind of painful that I was once in Jesy's place in a way. Jesy was just handling it differently. And I guess that's why I can't be fully mad. "That's an important lesson to learn."
"Yeah. It was hard to learn too. Somehow I feel really bad that you won't even look me in the eye Leigh-Anne."
Leigh-Anne turned to look at her.
Jesy felt even more guilty. Leigh's eyes were watery. "Don't cry please." She whispered.
That made Leigh-Anne want to cry more.
"Oh no the tears are falling." Jesy was panicking. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She tried to hug Leigh-Anne.
"No don't touch me! Jesy boundaries! Boundaries!" Leigh moved away from her and pointed. "Just accept that right now I'm upset okay? I'm upset and hurt. I'll get over it later but now I'm just really sad, Jesy."
Jesy stepped back. "But I feel bad-"
"Well, I feel bad. It won't last forever." Leigh wiped her eyes and looked across the street. The flashes were increasing. "Just . . . let things be how they are and wait for them to simmer down."
"But you won't want to be acquaintances anymore-"
"Yes Jesy we'll still be acquaintances." Leigh said tiredly, her shoulders falling. She frowned. "I just won't be going out one on one with you ever again. You were way too good at playing a vulnerable traumatized girl. I wonder where you got your act from." She was scowling.
"Uhhh . . ." Jesy looked Leigh over.
Leigh-Anne gasped. "You were just acting like me?"
"Kinda? But it-"
Leigh felt like she had been mocked. "That's so . . . that's so dicky Jesy!"
Jesy squinted. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I won't use your trauma ever again. This is like the second time I'm doing this though. Damn. I'm awful."
"I'm glad you know that." Leigh-Anne folded her arms. "Someone would probably say that I'm crazy for saying you've gotten better but you have. You have but you still need to do a lot of work."
Jesy exhaled heavily. "I know."
Leigh-Anne faced the other side of the road again but the flashes were too much. Were there more photographers here?
Jesy tried to keep her eyes off Leigh but they wandered back onto her.
Leigh-Anne wiped some tears away from her eyes. She was hugging herself and appeared very sad.
Okay. Maybe this'll be enough to get me to clean up my shit. Hopefully. Because at this stage everyone was tired of it.
Marcy's car pulled up before them a few minutes later. "Hey girlies- Leigh what's wrong?"
Leigh-Anne went in to the passenger seat. "I just want to go home." She rested her arm in the window and saw more flashes. They were getting close.
Jesy sat in the back quietly.
Marcy looked back at her then at Leigh. Did they have a fight? She noticed all the flashes and saw paparazzi right outside Leigh's window. "Hey! What the heck??" She started driving off as fast as she could. Those people had been bold hadn't they?
Leigh rubbed her eyes once they were away from all the lights. This was getting pretty weird to her but she didn't even have the energy to care.
Marcy could see that Leigh was exhausted so she made sure to drive quickly so the girl could get home to bed.
________________
Perrie was happy. To be back in L.A. But not because I love the constant summer sun and all the other bull crap that comes with being in this city but 'cause I'm here with ma boo! She looked around to see if anyone would call her obsessive but stopped once she realized that no one was here but her and Leigh and that she had said this in her head. Oh.
Leigh-Anne was looking at herself in the mirror after putting on her outfit for the day. She found herself presentable so turned to face Perrie. "Are you read- hey you're not even out of your pyjamas Perrie." They had left England on Thursday around five p.m and had gone straight to their hotel after landing. The jet lag wasn't as hard on Leigh-Anne this time around but she'd been winded for other reasons.
That little date with Jesy had put a lot on her mind. Not just the date. All of Jesy's prodding had caused the memory of what her mother had asked her to do to come to the surface of her mind so she had been thinking of that all night once she got home. She'd also been wondering if she was just like Jesy for wanting Sairah to open up to her more and had felt hurt about what Jesy had done in general. The advice she had given to Jesy's fake problems had made her want to talk to Dr Jung about what she was most scared of saying out loud but after finding out the truth about Jesy, she had not been as eager to open up to her therapist. So she didn't text Dr Jung like she had wanted to.
It also hurt deeply to know that Jesy had basically been mocking her to get her to talk to her about her darkest secrets. That was . . . all levels of messed up. She did not think that she would be able to talk to Jesy for a very long time. She had not felt like talking to anyone after that encounter and it seemed that she had worried Marcy and Sairah quite a bit with her silence. Marcy had wanted her to give details as to why she was sad once they got home but Leigh had not wanted to speak. Instead she had told Marcy and Sairah that she would talk about everything with them another time and that they'd just have to wait.
Leigh also had the issue of people saying inappropriate things about her dad on her mind. Every time she thought of the tweet Chres had showed her, she'd felt like breaking something. It was upsetting what their trauma had been reduced to but she preferred to not lament on that as there was nothing she could do about it. At least Marcy said yes to giving me my own card. She smiled at her reflection as she thought of all the money she had access to. I can only spend up ten thousand of it on this trip though. That was Marcy's only condition and Leigh was sure that she'd be able to live up to it. Ten thousand is a whooooole lot so there's no way in hell that I'd end up spending that much. Marcy had nothing to worry about. It does make me feel pretty free though. Having access to my own money. She never thought she'd have her own cash before but now she did and she could do whatever she wanted with it. Today we're going shopping. Their studio sessions with the band were on Saturday so she and Perrie had all day to go where ever they wanted and spend however much they wanted on whatever they wanted. "Cha-ching!"
Perrie startled by that sudden outburst.
Leigh spun to face her with a big smile. "I can't wait to shop for myself for the first time ever. Can you wait Perrie? I bet you can't."
Perrie couldn't believe that that noise was Leigh making the money sound. What a little dork. "Sweetie I've shopped in every city in the world by now so this doesn't entice me as much as it does you." She hopped to her feet. "But I am hella excited! The city is ours! Awoooo!"
"Awooo!" Leigh didn't know why they were howling. "Perrie hurry up and get dressed so we can do our thing."
"I'm going, I'm going-" Perrie was walking to the bathroom when she noticed something. "Hey Leigh, raise your arms a bit for a second."
Leigh-Anne didn't understand why she would ask her to do that but she did so anyway. "Wooo! L.A baby!"
Perrie laughed before pointing. "Where's your butterfly?"
Leigh-Anne caught on to what she was saying. She looked at her belly-button then pushed a finger in it. "I decided to not wear it anymore." She faced the mirror again to adjust her top so it was covered.
Perrie gasped. "Why? Did it give you a rash? Ah that Jade. I shoulda known. Never trust a Jade-"
"What? No." Leigh turned to her again. "I just . . . prefer to look at it on my nightstand rather than keeping it so close to me all the time you know? It's very beautiful and I like admiring it but I'd prefer not to wear it for now."
Perrie didn't get it. "But it was pretty."
"It still is pretty." Leigh played with her fingers.
Perrie scratched her head. "Do you just not like the way it looks on you?"
"It looked amazing but . . ." Leigh-Anne shrugged.
Perrie looked around. "Wanna buy a new one?"
Leigh-Anne stared into Perrie's eyes. She seemed a bit surprised.
Perrie had no idea why she was giving her that look. "I'd said we should buy you another one the last time we were here. Why so stunned?"
Leigh-Anne smiled gradually. "Yes Perrie. I'd love if you'd buy me a new one- or if I bought a new one- as long as I get a new one." She looked at her tummy. "I feel kind of naked without it."
"Trust me. You look naked without it. Heheheheheheh. She's naked." Perrie pointed and laughed.
"Be quiet Perrie. You need to get ready." Leigh picked up a pillow to toss at her.
"Ah! Okay fine." Perrie scurried to the bathroom like a mouse.
_________________
It was night time in the UK.
"I just wanted to know if it was something you lot would be interested in you know?" Jade was at her old drug warehouse with Sairah. They were hosting a meeting where all the members of her former gang were present to discuss what had been on Jade's mind for quite a bit of time.
Jin sat at the front along with Namjoon. The other youngsters who had worked with Jade for years were sitting before her on different types of chairs.
Sairah stood next to her with hands in the pockets of her jacket. "We haven't started putting stuff together to get the company swinging yet but I think that if we made a game with you people and released it and it made some buzz that it'd show people that we have potential you know? We don't need to do any building or crazy stuff yet but we can give you some kinda contract so you can get paid for the money made by the game. I talked to Chris Drew about me and Jade starting up our own company and he cried but said he'd be okay with it as long as we still made more House on the corner games with him and helped out with other stuff. So . . . the ball is in your court."
Namjoon was stroking his chin. "So would it be like a part time job?"
"I mean you're still in school and most of you are still at the school going age even though some of you don't go anywhere because of your circumstances so we can start it off part-time? That might be best. Like how you come here after school to do the whole drug thing-" Jade was saying.
"Wait but like . . ." a young guy in the back raised his hand. "Will we have to drop the drug cartel to do this? How are we gonna have time to do both?"
"If the game we make does well and like two others we release do well too and we see that people like our style then you can pack up the drug business and do something normal that won't potentially get you arrested." Sairah said blandly.
"Huh . . . okay. But while we make these test games we'd have to do the drug stuff too right?" Someone else asked.
"Yes. And if things start taking off then we'll just sell all of our produce to someone who wants it. Trust me, there are lots of sick rich kids who'd be happy to have a life supply of our stuff in their basement. Maybe they might start selling too. I don't know. And we can use the money we get from that as . . . your first pay checks?" Jade turned to Sairah.
"I don't care honestly." Sairah saw that the kids looked happy with their idea. "But yeah. I'll advertise that me and Jade will be releasing new games with our own underground gaming company on my YouTube channel and we'll see if the millions of people that watch me would be interested."
"She says this so casually." Jin laughed with Namjoon.
"You casually have millions of people watching your YouTube page?" A guy towards the side asked.
"Yeah?" Sairah did not seem to care that much.
Jade patted Sairah's shoulder proudly. "I do work too but she's the real face and personality that our fans like."
"She looks like the girl from that model group who was in Truth Hurts. The little one- not Perrie Edwards- the little one with all the drama." This guy was snapping his fingers.
"Leigh-Anne Princewel?" Someone offered.
He pointed at them. "Yeah her."
"She was here once. Jade brought her. You guys weren't there- oh yeah you're new." The person stroked their chin. "But Jade brought her to the house before she was famous."
"You knew her before she was famous?" A lot of them asked.
Namjoon chuckled. "Jade's girlfriend is her sister." He pointed at Sairah.
"Ohhh shit. That's why they look alike. It makes sense!"
Jade laughed with all of them. "I thought all of you knew that by now. Yous need to pay closer attention."
Sairah snorted. "People call Leigh the one with all the drama out of her angel club?"
"Angel club." Jin and Jade laughed at that.
"Yeah mate. Every time I open YouTube there's some new conspiracy video about 'er and they're so entertaining to watch. Everyone's in on it." The one who had pointed out that Sairah looked like Leigh-Anne was laughing. "The latest is that she was crying outside of some food place with a chick that's not Perrie Edwards and no one knows why."
Jin perked up and pointed at him. "I saw that one. They're wondering if she had a secret girlfriend. If only people knew that that girl was Jade's toxic ex. What was her name? Jesy?" He faced Jade.
Jade had been recommended an article about those pictures from her google but she had not had the time to read them. Or more like I didn't want to. She felt pretty bad for Leigh and wondered what Jesy had done to her though. Their friends had asked Jesy about it at school the next day but she'd been too down to talk. Must have been serious. Sairah had even said that Leigh had been down too. But she's in L.A now and Perrie's posts say she's feeling better so I wouldn't worry about it.
"Yes her name is Jesy." Jade answered. "You lot need to stop getting invested in all of that drama and gossip. Leave Leigh-Anne alone."
"It sounds like this shit has spread far. Maybe that's why kids in my school keep staring at me. Too bad I don't talk to them unless I have to. Although I did get invited to like five parties that I'm not going to." Sairah shrugged.
Jade could never get over Sairah's apathy and nonchalance towards most things. "Five parties . . . wow. You only go to parties your grandparents force you to go to right?"
"Yeah." Sairah nodded.
Jade giggled.
"It's become the talk of the town really. I'm bringing things back to your sister." Jin crossed his leg and appeared classy. "There's just so much to her and she gives nothing so why not stick our noses in it- by the way Sairah, your father is ten out of ten."
The guy who started all this clapped and laughed. "You're in on that too? It's so insane how crazy people go over the lad. I mean he's alright-"
"Not just alright. He's pretty hot." Namjoon joined in with a smile.
Jade cringed then turned to Sairah who didn't seem pleased.
"What the hell is exactly wrong with you people? Stop calling our dad hot. It's weird. At first I'd been worried that if people somehow got invested in him through me and Leigh that they'd throw rocks at him 'cause of everything he did but instead everyone's saying they'd want him to beat them up?" Sairah looked mad now. "Yeah I see the freaky shit. Someone at school showed me some of the weird stuff people like you lads have been uploading to Google and you know what I did to them? I tossed their phone to the ground 'cause it was so sick and disgusting. I don't even know how that post even exists like . . . did that person live in our house? How did they know that our dad used to slam our mum's head into the counter?"
Jade remembered when Sairah had told her about that. The issue had taken place yesterday. Sairah had been brought to the office for breaking that guy's phone and she'd explained why she did so and now the school had banned all mention of her father in that way. At least they actually took action. But Sairah had to buy the phone back of course.
"Oh shit he actually did that?" The guy asked.
Sairah made a 'duh' face and nodded. "He was a f*cking beast!"
And now there was silence.
Jade rubbed Sairah's back. "Yeah please try to refrain from sexualizing Sairah's dad and their past. It was an extremely tough time for Sairah and Leigh-Anne and the effects of it are still being felt to this day. It's very insensitive to partake in that conversation."
Everyone started saying that they never took part.
"I just saw a lot of inappropriate stuff but I didn't say anything-"
"But you laughed." Sairah snapped. "I have half a mind to make a video on YouTube about all the shit that happened back in the day but it's not just my trauma, it's Leigh's too and I know she doesn't want people knowing the details or how horribly it affected us so I'll leave it alone."
"But when you told us about how serious it was it got everyone to simmer down so maybe that's the way to go- if Leigh-Anne agrees." Namjoon said.
"Nah. I kinda think that all the freaky people in the world actually wanna know our business so I'm not gonna reward them for this by telling them that stuff." Sairah fanned at him.
Jade realized something. "You said you were worried that if your dad got famous by association to you or Leigh that he might get rocks hurled at him. That's not true. You didn't think for a second that anyone would care who your dad was."
Sairah scratched her head. "Well it's a thought that came to mind after I heard about people saying he was hot then."
Jade punched her lightly on the arm. "Anyway, you're all in for being our mini game company right?"
"Yeah." All the guys were interested.
"Sweet. We'll start training next week. We can split yous into groups based on what you're good at. Some of you will be on story boarding duty, some will help with designing, some will be on the animation scene, coding . . . it's a whole process." Jade was becoming excited. Her mother was pretty smart for thinking of this first wasn't she? And now it can actually be a possibility.
"Back in the day me and Jade had to split the work between the two of us when we made The House on the Corner but now that we have a million people the process can go a lot faster . . . once we come up with new ideas that is." Sairah was staring at the wall in the back. "But yeah we'll see how it goes."
"Awesome. Looking forward to this." Jin clapped once and everyone else applauded Jade and her girl for pitching this idea to them.
Jade smiled and bounced in place a little in joy.