Severus was in his second year when he felt something he had never felt before. He was sitting in the Great Hall when he saw her for the first time. His friends were loud, but he could hear nothing they said as his eyes were fixed on her as she walked into the hall along with the other first years.
That day, he was not eager to witness the Sorting Ceremony, as he was not waiting for anyone to come through the door. He just nodded as his friends told him about their siblings and wanting them to be in the same house as them, or not. Being the only child, which Severus was grateful for as he never wanted any other child to go through what he had to, Severus was not looking forward to the ceremony.
However, as his eyes landed on the girl, he lost his words. He did not know what it was, but he felt warmed and fuzzy inside as she caught his eyes and smiled at him. It was only for a mere second, but it was enough to send Severus into thinking what was happening to his poor heart. It was beating so fast that he was afraid it would drop to the floor.
His eyes never left her figure as she smiled at people around her, trying to find some comfort in the new place. Severus let his lips curled into a small smile, but soon it turned upside down once he heard her name.
"Y/N Lupin."
Severus frowned, and he just noticed that he was not the only one who was staring at her. A group of Gryffindors that he despised so much was watching her too, wanting to know which house would she be placed in.
Disappointment was swarming his chest as he looked back at her, who had her eyes on her brother. Out of all people in Hogwarts, she just had to be Remus Lupin's little sister. Severus cursed himself for almost letting himself fall for her charm when he convinced himself that she was no different than her brother and his friends.
A Hufflepuff. She was sorted into Hufflepuff.
Somehow Severus was relieved she was not in Gryffindor.
. . .
He tried to forget her, he tried so hard to forget how sweet her smile was but he could not. Severus did not see her again after the Sorting Ceremony, and he did not even dare to look at her table during meals as he was afraid she would haunt his dreams even more.
It was suffocating him, as he wanted to forget her but he could not. He hated this feeling. It was controlling him and it did not help when he kept reminding himself that she was Lupin's sister. Why would he waste his time on her?
But fate was messing around with him, or so it seemed. When he did not want to see her, he noticed her trying to find her way to her next class. Severus knitted his eyebrows together and thought that he should just let her be and leave. But something was pulling him to help her, or he would regret it for the rest of his life.
Severus was walking towards her, nerves were wrecking his soul as he tried to think of what to say. She could not find her class, and he had to help her. Perhaps it could turn into something better. Maybe he could be her friend?
His heart dropped and he stopped dead on his track when James Potter came, noticing Y/N and offered her help first before Severus could.
He bit the inside of his cheeks as she smiled at Potter, nodding vigorously as he talked to her. Perhaps she was just close with him because of Remus, but Severus did not care. To him, she was one of them, and Severus wanted nothing to do with her.
. . .
It was not hard to avoid Y/N as she was a year below him and she was not in his house. Severus managed to survive three years, watching her from afar, without even thinking to talk to her.
It did not mean he stopped getting butterflies every time he saw her. He knew she did not even look at him twice, but it was not stopping him to glance at her when she was too engrossed in her reading to notice.
She was lovely, and she was not his.
Perhaps it was because he was too busy staring at the beautiful girl, he just noticed he left his potions journal in the Great Hall. Severus cursed under his breath and walked back to the hall, only to be upset as his journal was nowhere to be found.
Worry clouded his mind as he knew his journal contained more than just potions notes, but also some drawings. He felt sick to think that the journal could fall into the hands of the Marauders, who would definitely make fun of his notes. Yes, they would definitely make fun of his notes, no matter how silly it sounded.
But that was not what was making blood drained from his face. He just realised that they would see his drawings. His drawings of Y/N Lupin, to be exact— If any of the boys saw her face in his journal, then it would be the end of him.
Severus thought of what would they do to embarrass him in front of her. He was sure they would do something to bring shame upon him if they know he fancied her. Just as he was drowning himself in his thoughts, someone tapped his shoulder. He looked back, only to be surprised.
"You're Severus, right?"
Severus' eyes widen, realising Y/N Lupin was standing in front of him, talking to him. She was there with him. It was not a dream, wasn't it?
"Yes, I'm Severus Snape."
He managed to get the words out, unsure if he should be happy that she knew his name. She nodded and smiled, not aware of how much she was affecting the dark haired boy.
"I'm Y/N Lupin."
She extended her hand, and it took him almost a second to shook her hand. He was still thinking of the reasons why would she be there, talking to him. But his question was answered once she took a book, his journal, out of her bag.
"I believe this is yours."
She said, giving the journal to him. Severus' fear melted away when he realised she was the one who found the journal instead of her brother and his friends. But then he thought of something, making him grabbed the journal from her hands.
"Did you open it?"
Severus was panicking again, knowing that it would be worse if Y/N was the one who found the drawings. She tilted her head a bit, puzzled to see how worried he was.
"Yes, I did—"
"I knew it. You and your brother and his friends are all the same. Can't keep your nose out of people's business, can you?"
The words rolled out of his tongue before he could stop himself, and he watched as her smile turned into a frown. She was trying to help, and yet, he was getting mad at her for nothing.
"What are you talking about? I opened your book and saw the first page which has your name on it. That's all. I don't even read the rest of it. I know how to respect people, Severus."
She defended herself, crossing her arms against her chest. Severus felt a wave of embarrassment washed over him. He finally got to talk to her, and now he messed up by blaming her for something she did not do.
"And why would you say that about my brother? He is a nice person."
"Sure, he is."
Once again, Severus could not keep his mouth shut. She shook her head and dropped her arms to her sides.
"What do you have against Remus?"
"Wrong question, Lupin. You should ask me what do your brother and his friends have against me?"
Y/N stared at him, but then a small smile found its way on her face.
"I don't know what kind of bad things they have done to you, but it is unfair for you to think that I would do the same."
She said, giving him her last smile before walking away. Severus watched as she left, holding his journal close to his chest.
Yes, he would try to forget her. Like he always did.
She was not worthy of his time.
. . .
It was false, really. He did not even try to forget her. He just let himself fell even harder for the girl even when he knew he had no chance to be with her.
She was so sweet and so kind. It was hard not to fall for her. She had friends from different houses. It seemed like she managed to get everyone to get close to her, but not too close.
And Severus, he was not even a friend of her. He could only watch, as the boys tried their luck to ask her out, only to be disappointed when she decided to decline their offers. Would he try to ask her out too? No, he would not.
However, a tinge of jealousy was burning in his chest every time he saw Black wrapped an arm around her shoulder. As much as he hated him before she came, he hated Black even more now. With her being Remus' sister, it meant she met her brother often and Black had more chance to see her than Severus could ever do.
He knew he did not even try to talk to her, let alone taking her out on a date and he had no right to be jealous when the boy was all over her. But he just did. He was pissed whenever Sirius walked over to her, meeting her more times than her brother did to be honest.
Sirius seemed to be around her almost all the time. It was like he was her personal guard dog following her around to keep her safe from harm. Perhaps it could be nothing but a brotherly act, but Severus was too jealous to see it.
Speaking of Black, now as Severus was watching the quidditch match, Gryffindor vs Slytherin, he could see her who had a grin on her face. Oh, how he wished she was sitting next to him, and he could hold her hand in his and she could smile at him like he was her whole world.
But no, she was sitting next to Sirius Black and her brother. She was cheering heartily for James freaking Potter, and Severus felt like he could throw up. It was selfish of him to think that she should not be happy with them, when he did not even make a move on her. Severus sighed, trying to focus on the match instead of on her.
Severus shook his head in disbelief when Gryffindor beat Slytherin in the match, wasting his time watching it. His mood turned sour not just because of his house's loss, but because when he turned to look at Y/N, he saw James Potter on his broom, waving at the girl, saying something that made her laugh.
Oh god, her laughs. She was so pretty when she laughed. But the thought of it dissolved into anger once again when he realised he was not the one who was making her happy.
Jealousy was a disease.
. . .
Severus did not notice the time as he was too busy studying for his test. He just realised he had been in the library for far too long, and now he just wanted to go back to his dorms without getting caught by anyone as it was already past curfew.
If he came across any Slytherin prefects, he believed he could get away from them. Just as the thought crossed his mind, a prefect stopped him, and he let out a sigh. It was dark, and he could not see her clearly from where she stood.
"What are you doing out here at this our, Snape?"
She asked, forcing air out of his lungs as he recognised her voice. It was Y/N. She walked closer to him, a smile was dancing on her lips. She did not seem to be mad, but he did not want to risk anything.
"Just take points off my house and get this over with, Lupin."
He said, hoping that she would not notice the faint blush on his cheeks when she looked at him. She was close, too close, and he felt like his heart could jump out of his chest.
"You were studying, weren't you? I'm not going to take points off your house."
Severus raised his eyebrows at her words, and she chuckled at him.
"Just make sure you don't come across anyone else on your way back, alright?"
He could only nod, thanking her silently as he continued to walk back to his dormitories. He fell into his bed, with Y/N in his head, and he fell asleep dreaming of her that night.
Well, maybe she was not that bad.
. . .
Severus came to a conclusion now that he could never get away from Y/N. She was always on his mind and it was exhausting to keep reminding himself that he could never get a chance to be with her. It was sad, to think that he was falling for a girl who was too good for him.
He was in his common room when he overheard some boys talking about Y/N, wanting to pull on a harsh prank on her so they could get back to the Marauders. Severus felt a tug on his chest, gritting his teeth as he never thought anyone would have the heart to do anything to someone as nice as her. Apparently he was wrong.
Before he could stop himself, he was making his way to Hufflepuff common room. To his luck, he found her as she just came out of her common room, confusion was swimming in her eyes when she realised he was there.
He was out of his breath, as he was almost running to see her. She noticed it and a concerned look replaced her frown, sending warmth wrapped around his heart.
"Are you alright?"
She asked, and he could only nod, as he started to lose himself in her eyes. She was so beautiful, and he wished he had the courage to tell her how alluring she was to him. Severus pulled himself together and cleared his throat.
"I overheard some Slytherins wanting to pull a prank on you. Please be careful."
He said, and she was surprised to know that he was warning her about it. He seemed to hate her, just as much as he hated her brother, and there he was, asking her to be careful.
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because I don't like it when people want to hurt you."
He blurted out, rosy blush creeped on his face as she smiled. Y/N had to bit on her lip to contain her grin.
"Just be careful, alright?"
He reminded her again, wanting to leave as soon as possible, afraid of embarrassing himself even more. But she caught his wrist, and he froze, eyes grew wide at her touch.
"Thank you, Severus."
She grinned, and Severus felt like he could faint from the amount of joy he was feeling at the moment. She let go of his wrist, and stood on her tiptoes to place a soft kiss on his cheek.
"I'll be careful."
She assured him, before walking away, leaving him who had a huge smile on his face. Severus blinked a few times, her kiss lingered on his cheek and he quickly walked back to his common room, his smile never leaving his face.
A few days after that, he heard a commotion in Slytherin common room. Severus recognised them as the boys who wanted to pull a prank on her, and he learned that Y/N hexed them before they could do anything to her. There was no help from Remus or Sirius, and James was nowhere to be seen. It was just her, and she was strong enough to protect herself.
Severus smirked, shaking his head at his friends who thought they could outsmart the Hufflepuff girl. Clearly, they did not know how vicious she could be if she wanted to.
. . .
"This is nice."
Severus muttered, seeing the Great Hall almost empty as most students came home for Christmas. Severus took his seat, and he tried to knock the sad feelings out of his chest. He was used to this, it would be better for him to stay at Hogwarts rather than spending his holiday at home.
Home would be horrendous, especially during holidays.
Sighing, he look at Y/N's usual seat and noticed it was empty. Of course, she went home for Christmas. He was not expecting to see her, but his heart clenched, missing her even if the possibility of her thinking about him was low.
Severus cocked his eyebrow when someone called out his name. A Hufflepuff was walking towards him, and he could tell he was a second year student. He seemed to be rushing, and Severus wondered what did he want from him.
"What do you want?"
Severus asked, way too harsh for the boy's liking as he frowned at Severus. But he just shook his head and placed a box in front of Severus.
"Someone asked me to give this to you. She was rushing home, so she couldn't give it by herself."
He said, and before Severus could thank him, the boy walked out of the hall. Severus stared at the box, contemplating whether he should open it or not. It could be a mean prank on him, but it could also be a nice surprise.
Severus took a deep breath and opened it, a small smile was adorned on his face when he realised it was a box of cookies. His smile widen when he noticed there was a note, and his smile quickly turned into a grin as he read it.
"Merry Christmas, Severus!
I made these chocolate cookies for you.
I love them, I hope you will too!
Thank you for always looking out for me. I'll see you after the holiday.
-Y/N."
Severus smiled, taking a bite of his cookie, his head filled with the thoughts of Y/N Lupin.
-
I actually wrote this imagine last year after Forget but I was too overwhelmed with life to post it so here it is now. Wow I literally keep this in drafts for a whole year.
Hope you like it ♡
28th February 2022