Chapter Eighty Five
Sang
Within half an hour of getting home from the mall and hair salon, everyone has arrived and are currently squashed into my bedroom as I watch Gabriel sort out my new clothes and put them away in my closet. I'm not ready to part with my old clothes, something I didn't even need to voice. He just puts them all to the side, folding them neatly or hanging them up in my closet and dresser, while packing away the new stuff in perfect order.
I told him he wasn't allowed to touch the bags from Victoria Secrets. That included going into my underwear drawer which he was fine with.
"I can't get over how much thicker your hair looks like this," Marc says as he picks up a lock of my hair and twirls it around his finger.
I smile over at him. "Honestly, it needed the cut. I couldn't remember the last time I had one."
"I'm surprised you let Adam cut it," Luke says to Gabe as he passes over a pair of jeans after removing the tag, dropping it onto the growing pile.
"Adam didn't cut it," Victor says. "He just did the pink. Gabe did the cutting and the curling with this wand thing."
I was surprised and a little hesitant when Gabriel insisted he did the cutting. I know he cuts some of the guy's hair, but I didn't know how much experience he had with cutting long hair. In the end, I put all of my faith and trust in him. If he wasn't sure of a certain angle, he asked Adam for guidance, who was all too happy to help him.
Gabriel even assisted with putting in the pink underneath. When I originally asked to go to the salon, I had only wanted the hair cut. But I saw a poster on the wall with a model with pink streaks and said I wanted that colour. After debating where to put it, and Adam promising over and over that it will wash out, we decided to hide it underneath.
I absolutely love my hair and haven't felt this good about myself in so long. I feel confident, brave...beautiful.
To top it off, the guys love it too and their compliments have only boosted my confidence. For the first time in so long, my shoulders are back, my spine is straight and though I am nervous about school tomorrow and the attention it may bring me, I'm not dreading it. If anything, I'm excited with a nervous flutter in my stomach.
I tuck my hair behind my ear and fight the urge to let out a huff when my bangs fall back in my face. I read online once that getting bangs can bring instant regret if you are not used to it. Those words are so true and I already can't wait to grow them out. "Do you want me to braid them out of your face?"
I look over my shoulder at Raven. I'm sitting at his feet while he sits back on my bed, Corey on one side of him, Owen on the other. North and Silas are sitting at the window, the rest of us are squashed onto the floor. "You braid?"
Raven nods his head, lips pressing into a thin line. He doesn't say anything though. I want to ask how he knows how to braid, but I can't bring myself to do so right now.
Instead, I get up on my feet and go into the bathroom, getting some elastic hair ties that remind me of loom bands, before going back to my bedroom and taking my seat. I hand Raven the elastics and a comb I also grabbed before turning around and focusing on the conversation that's moved on from Gabriel doing my hair and to Kota's Mom.
"She's picking up shifts all the time at the moment, even getting to the point where there is no point in her even coming home to sleep, instead sleeping at the hospital," Kota says.
"That's normal though." Sean leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Not for a nurse in general but definitely a hospital that's understaffed."
"Maybe we could ask some of the Academy hospital staff to help out?" Luke suggests.
"The request has already been put in," Owen says, a thoughtful expression on his face. "In fact, it was put in a few weeks ago."
"I know that. I even told Mom that we had managed to find staff to help, but she said it's only getting worse."
I tilt my head curiously to the side but Raven places his hands on either side of my head to straighten it before running the comb through my hair. I force myself to sit still as Corey says, "I'll log in tomorrow and see if I can figure out what's going on. I'll have to go to the hospital though and use their Wi-Fi."
"No need," Victor says. "I did the system myself when it went through an update. I have a laptop with the software that's on it, we can use that."
"Clever," Corey murmurs.
I scratch my finger at the bridge of my nose, frowning as I try to keep up and put puzzle pieces together. "We could also get Dr Roberts to look into it. Maybe even ask him to go there himself," Axel says.
"That would help," Sean gratefully says. "I can't go there myself because Erica made me promise to not interfere when they had something similar happen just before the summer. We managed to get that fixed pretty quick though."
"Something else is definitely going on," Owen muses and everyone nods their heads in agreement.
"So, your Mom knows about the Academy?" I ask Kota.
"She knows of it, just not the extent of it. She's also not stupid. I never confirm or deny her theories whenever she throws them at me; sometimes she hits the nail spot on, other times she's so far off the spot..." he trails off and shakes his head. Pushing his glasses back up his nose he smiles over at me.
We all fall into a comfortable silence, watching as Gabriel opens the last bag and starts going through it. Luke is quick to reach for the items to pull off the tags, adding them to the pile he has in front of him. With Raven doing my hair, I feel my eyes start to get heavy. It's getting really late. In fact, when we got back it was later than we expected it to be and Gabriel insisted that everyone see my hair tonight. Luckily everyone had just about finished doing what it is they were doing when he sent the text out.
"You do know that everyone is going to stare tomorrow at school," Nathan says softly.
I blink my eyes open before nodding my head. "I know. I'm tired of hiding. They'll be bored next week. Besides, it's only my hair. I'm still going to wear my normal clothes despite the shopping spree this afternoon."
"Do you know what time your father will be home?" Brandon asks.
I shake my head. "No. He's only ever told me what sort of time in the day to expect him. He said Friday night so that could be anytime from nine until early AM."
"Probably best for us to stay out of the house tomorrow while Sang is at school," Axel says, looking at Brandon, Marc, Raven and Corey in turn.
"We'll come round for breakfast as usual," Marc says. "We'll also make sure nothing of ours is where it shouldn't be."
I shrug my shoulders. "That's up to you, but I think I'm going to tell him that some of you guys have been staying here." Raven's hands pause in my hair and fourteen sets of eyes focus on me. "Obviously I can't tell him about Owen and Sean, but..." I trail off, worrying my bottom lip. I focus my eyes on Owen. "Maybe I shouldn't?"
Owen's spine straightens and he rolls his shoulders back before saying. "No, Sang. You do what you are comfortable with and if you wish to tell your father that you're dating, then you do that. I think we are just surprised. Our...relationship isn't normal."
Smiling at him softly, I give Raven's ankle a slight tap, silently telling him to continue. "I know that. But I care about you, all of you, and I don't want to hide that. I think my father would appreciate it more if I tell him right off the bat how it is."
Owen's eyes soften and he nods his head, a smile pulling just slightly at his mouth. No one says anything while Gabriel finishes putting away the last of the clothes and Raven does my hair. Once Raven has finished my hair I go into the bathroom to look into the mirror, finding that he's done two braids either side of my part line, making sure to leave a few cute pieces of my bangs out to frame my face. The braids come to a stop at my crown area, tied off with an elastic. I absolutely love it and grin at my reflection before picking up my toothbrush and getting on with the task of brushing my teeth.
I'm joined by Victor and Marc, both of them picking up their own toothbrushes. We watch each other in the mirror, smiling at each other. This should feel awkward, but it doesn't. I'm starting to love these little moments more and more. Once I'm done, I splash some water on my face before drying it with a towel, leaving the two boys to it before going back to my bedroom.
I'm surprised when I find everyone dressed down and into clothes that they sleep in. Marc and Victor come out of the bathroom and they swap places with North and Corey. "Is everyone staying here tonight?"
Marc takes my hand into his. "Looks that way, Minnie. North, Silas, Owen and Axel are going to sleep on the floor of your father's bedroom. Corey and Raven are taking the couch. Sean, Kota and Brandon are going into the picture room. Nathan, Gabriel and Luke are with us in your room."
I can only smile in response. I love that they're all staying but it's really starting to bother me that these boys are sleeping here, there and everywhere because of me.
xXx
The next morning I woke up cuddled up against Marc with my hand holding Nathan's resting on Marc's chest. At my back was Victor with Luke cuddled up against him. Gabriel was back to back with Nathan. When I went downstairs after my shower, dressed in a pair of jeans that was purchased the day before with one of my favourite oversized T-shirts, I had found Axel and Owen making breakfast.
Slowly, one by one, the rest of the house started waking up. Some went back to Nathan's to shower as the two showers in my house became occupied. Once everyone had returned and were dressed for the day we ate breakfast together in the kitchen. Gabriel fixed my hair as it had gotten a little frizzy through the night, and damp in a few places where it had gotten wet from my shower. The two braids still sat tight against my scalp and I decided to leave them in for school.
After saying goodbye to Axel, Corey, Brandon, Raven and Marc, we headed off to school, riding in the passenger seat of Victor's BMW. The closer we got, the worse my anxiety became. I fiddled with a tear in the jeans I was wearing, tied and re-tied the laces of my converse. I went to push up the glasses I would normally wear on my face but found them missing. I hadn't put them on. I've become so used to not wearing them around the guys, I didn't even notice they were missing until we were on the road.
Victor takes my hand into his, keeping his eyes on the road as he raises my hand to his lips. I close my eyes when I feel slight pressure from his mouth, a kiss, before he gently places my hand on his thigh, covering it up with his own. "Calm down," he says softly, briefly meeting my gaze before focusing on the road again.
"Sorry," I mutter. My thumb starts moving on its own, stroking his leg. My shoulders relax.
"Don't be sorry, Princess." Though he doesn't look at me, I can see the gentle smile curling his mouth. "You're stepping out of your comfort zone. The best thing to do is walk in there with your chin held high and ignore everyone else."
"Easier said than done."
"It is. But we'll be with you, walking beside you, every step of the way."
"Hold my hand?" I ask. Yesterday, it seemed like such a good idea to do something daring and exciting. Now I wish I had stuck with just the haircut. Maybe I should take the braids out. Does Kota carry around a spare pair of glasses? Maybe I should just get Victor to take me home.
"Always."
Victor pulls into the school's parking lot. North drove his jeep and Kota drove his sedan. There's a space waiting for us and Victor pulls in smoothly, the car coming to a slow stop. I take my hand from Victor's thigh, picking up my camera and staring down at it as I take a few deep breaths, slowly exhaling each one.
It's not like I'm going to be talking. Everyone changes their hair and buys new clothes. Some people might not even notice, though I guess that's highly unlikely. Since Friday Fall, everyone tends to stare at me just a little too long. Victor gets out of the car and I hear their low murmurs as they talk but can't make out what they're saying.
My door opens a few minutes later and I look into serious blue eyes. He holds out his hand after taking my bag from between my feet and hiking it onto his shoulder to join his own. "We've got you, Peanut."
I take his hand and get myself out of the car. North closes the door, dark eyes focused on me in concern but doesn't say anything. My fingers slide between Nathan's and I squeeze his hand hard, my teeth tightening as my jaw clenches and my invisible noose around my neck tightens. I close my eyes, forcing myself to relax as we head for the doors into the school. The entrance is mostly empty and we quickly make our way to the cafeteria to sit outside in the courtyard while we wait for the first bell.
As we reach the cafeteria doors, Silas and North push them open and as one we step inside. It's also the exact same moment I lift my chin but I keep my eyes focused on the doors at the back of the room. Loud chatter greets my ears; boisterous laughter and squealing giggles. From the corner of my eyes a familiar flash of grey has me looking over. Owen stands at the corner of the room, hands clasped behind his back, his eyes focused on us. I look away quickly, reminding myself where we are. I wish he was walking beside me right now, with us, and Sean also.
Slowly, the chatter dies down and whispers tickle my ears. I feel my chest flush under my T-shirt, but keep going, my hand tightening around Nathan's. In front of us, Silas and North push open the doors to the courtyard. Before we step outside, I look to my left. Sean stands in the opposite corner to Owen, hands loosely folded over his chest. In the crook of his elbow, his phone rests there, almost in a discreet manner. A proud smile is on his lips.
I look away and let Nathan lead us to our normal spot. I take the bench, Nathan releases my hand, Luke and Gabriel sit either side of me while the others sit down on the ground. My phone vibrates in my pocket and I take it out, looking at the screen.
"I like your hair, Sang. It suits you." I look up at the voice. Her name is Karen, she's in my gym class. I give her a soft smile of thanks, it's all I can manage, before she turns and walks away with her friends.
I return my attention to my phone, opening Sean's message.
Sean: I'm so proud of you.
Sang: <3
Sean: You have come so far in such a short amount of time, Pookie. You make my heart burst.
Sean: I took a video of you doing that walk. You looked so confident, but I know better. Are you okay?
Sang: Yes. I have you guys.
Sean: Always.
I smile down at the screen before sliding the phone back into my pocket. When I look up, my eyes unintentionally lock with Rocky's. His eyes are zeroed in on me, his head tilted to the side. One of his friends says something, but he ignores them. I look away and over at Gabriel.
"I wish you could see yourself the way we see you," Gabriel whispers, taking the camera from my hands. I had been holding it in a tight grip the moment I got out of the car. The camera, Nathan, and the rest of the guys helped boost my confidence for that walk through the cafeteria. They grounded me, much like my camera has always done. Gabriel leans in close, holding the camera out to take a selfie. I lean in closer, resting my forehead to his temple, my nose nuzzling his cheek. "Smile."
I smile, but my eyes close and I just soak in the beautiful boy beside me. "Again," Luke breaths, his body pressing into my side. Another sound of the shutter follows the first one.
"Hey, Sang." I look up at the voice, pulling away from Gabriel. I don't know who this person is; she's a pretty girl with red hair, light blue eyes and a smile that dazzles. North tenses, sending her a glare. She shuffles nervously on her feet, looking briefly at North before looking back to me. "I'm the president of the yearbook committee this year. I've noticed you with your camera and I was just wondering if you'd be interested in taking the photos at the football game next Friday? Our current photographer is good, but not great. He also isn't passionate about the task...unlike you. My father is a photographer and I know a good one when I see one without even looking at their work..." her rambles trail off.
My first instinct is to say no. That's always been what I've done in the past. This isn't my first offer like this. But once again I feel like doing something brave, daring. I feel like taking my work to the next level. I swallow, licking my lips. "I can show you," I whisper. "My work."
Her eyes widen in surprise but she also quickly starts nodding her head. "Oh I would love to see it. If you don't mind."
I shake my head, pulling my phone from my pocket. I quickly clear the screen of texts from Owen, Raven, Brandon, Axel, Corey and Marc, before bringing up some of the pictures I got off the basketball team at my previous school. I get to my feet, noting the boys watching me curiously. Stepping over Silas' legs, I hold my phone out to her. She looks down at the screen, her fingers swiping several times, a happy smile crossing her face that only gets wider with each picture she sees. "They're perfect. Honestly, Sang, you'd really help me out here. If next Friday night goes well, then I could give you more tasks. That's if you're interested of course."
"I'm her assistant. Would I be able to be on the sidelines with her Friday night?" Gabriel asks.
"Absolutely. So what do you say, Sang?"
I look to the guys, to my phone that I lock and slide back into my pocket, to my camera that Gabriel still holds. I think if my Dad, and then Mom, I knew that if she were here, she would be proud of me. I think of the other guys that aren't here and wonder what they would say. Excitement bubbles up inside me. If next Friday night fails, then I could say no but unless I try, I'm not going to know exactly how much I'll enjoy it. "Okay."
She squeals happily, bouncing on her feet, clapping her hands together before holding one hand out to me. "Come by Monday after school and we'll talk more about it. My name is Fia, by the way."
My hand trembles slightly as I take her hand in mine and give it a gentle shake. "I'll be there."
"Great. Bye." I watch her walk away, going over to a group that hangs about near the doors of the cafeteria. They look over at me after speaking to them, wide smiles gracing their unfamiliar faces.
I take my seat once again, pressing a hand to my chest. I get this strange urge to call my dad and tell him what just happened. Suddenly, I feel excited to see him later. It's been a long time since I've been excited to see my father.
xXx
The school day passes. Murmurs and whispers follow me around but I keep my chin high. It spread around rather quickly that I spoke a few words to Fia. It bothers me, of course it does, but not as I expected it would. Something is shifting inside me, I can feel it happening with each day that passes. That gaping hole in my chest that has been there since I was a young girl doesn't feel so big anymore. I miss Mom everyday, and she's not far from my thoughts, but I don't feel an overwhelming sense of grief when I think of her.
I messaged the guys throughout the day and whenever it felt sensible to take my phone out for me to do so. Marc and Axel both informed me that the house was spotless, with nothing of theirs in sight. Apart from in the attic space. I also received a text from my Dad, telling me that he would be home around midnight and not to wait up.
After Gym, Nathan and Gabriel meet me outside of the locker room. We make our way through the crowd, my hand in Gabriel's, towards the parking lot. When I stepped outside, the last thing I expected to see was North and Rocky nose to nose. A crowd was gathered around them, and Gabriel's 'oh shit' told me what I already knew; this wasn't good.
"She's changed her hair, she holds all of your hands. I also saw her grinding all up on that preppy boy the other day," Rocky bellows as we push through the crowd, for once not talking about himself in third person. I hold onto Gabriel's hand as my stomach twists at his words. My eyes widen when it finally registers what he said and I look at Victor. His cheeks turn pink but he keeps his head held high, the fire in his eyes turning to ice as he glares at Rocky. None of the other guys gave a reaction, which I'm thankful for. Silas just squeeze North's shoulder in warning. Rocky's eyes lock with my wide ones. "You fucking them all?"
I shake my head no, but also in a way to tell him that I'm not doing this. I'm not talking to him about this. He has no right to know what goes on in my private life. I don't want him to know. My jaw clenches.
"Don't talk to her, talk to me. You have something to fucking say, then spit it out. I'm all ears." A growl rumbles through North's chest with his words.
"Rocky, leave it man." I don't know who said it, but this guy puts a hand around Rocky's bicep, trying to pull him back and away from North.
"Why? Don't you think it's weird that she comes to this school a mute, always hiding, and then suddenly she has pretty hair and I hear rumours of her speaking to that yearbook prez." Rocky glares at North. "It's clear these fucks are controlling her."
I pull back at those words, a flinch, like they've just hit me. Not because they're true, but because I'm so startled and taken aback by them. Controlling me? "They're not," I whisper, surprising myself.
North smirks but it's all anger and I go to him, pulling on his bicep. Let's go, I silently urge, Rocky's eyes wide as he stares down at me. Honestly? I've never felt so small than what I do in that moment. North gets the silent message, takes my hand in his quickly and we turn around as one. The crowd parts for us, North and I leading the way, the others at our backs.
We reach the cars, climbing into them quickly. I get into the passenger seat of the jeep, watching as North covers his dark eyes with his aviators. Tyres squealing, he pulls out of the spot his jeep was parked in and leaves the school behind us. I place my hand on his thigh, trying to soothe him. "North?" I question gently.
"He pisses me off," he says, matching my quiet tone. "I can't wait to be done with that fucking school." My stomach twists, my hand tightening around his thigh. He looks over at me, taking my hand in his. "I'm not leaving you. We're not leaving you." It's like he knew where my thoughts were heading. "I promise."
I nod my head. Does he not realise that promises can be broken? I worry on my bottom lip, looking out the window.
xXx
After school we went straight to Nathan's house. Luke and North went to the diner to go and see Uncle and speak about the next steps. Corey and Victor went into what Corey has dubbed his computer room. Sean had a shift at the hospital straight from school but promised he would see me tomorrow. As soon as we walked through the door, Raven was walking out, taking Gabriel with him. He didn't tell anyone where they were going but Gabriel did cheer happily as he got into the passenger seat of the Rover so I assume he knew.
I find Axel and Marc in the kitchen. "North almost got into a fight with Rocky," I say, putting my bag on the dining table. "And Rocky didn't speak in third person."
"Why did North get into it with Rocky?"
"Rocky speaks in third person?"
"Rocky seems to think that North, the others, are controlling me. I don't know what started it, that's the bit I heard and saw though." I roll my eyes at the end of the sentence. "Yes. Rocky speaks in third person. But today he didn't. It was strange."
"The fact you think that a person who normally speaks in third person, who actually didn't today, is strange is laughable." My grin matches Marc's.
"What else did Rocky say?"
"Something about my hair. I spoke to a girl this morning and it hit the rumour mill pretty quick." I purse my lips. "Apparently Rocky saw me and Victor the other day. Hidden away in a darkened classroom in a corner of the school no one goes to. How he said it makes me believe that yes, he really did see and that there's no 'apparently' about it. I'm sure it doesn't take a genius to figure it out..." I trail off, embarrassment heating my cheeks.
Axel's eyebrow jumps up to his hairline. "You had sex?"
"No," I whisper.
"Bump and grind, brother, with clothes."
I nod my head, confirming those words. "Now the whole school knows and thinks I'm easy. More importantly they think I'm sexing it up with all seven of them."
Marc smirks. "Aren't you?"
"Not yet, no. I can assure you that my hymen is perfectly intact. I don't even care if everyone knows, if I'm honest. Everyone has sex in that school. I'm just not used to being everyone's gossip. That's the problem."
"It's going to happen, Sang," Axel says softly.
"I know," I agreed quietly. I look down at my hands that are resting on the kitchen work top. People will talk. One girl with fourteen guys. "I'm just not used to being spoken about like that."
"You can either let it go straight over your head and ignore it or let it bother you," Marc says, coming over to my side. He wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me into his side.
"It's not me I'm worried about," I tell them both. "It's the others. I don't want them to get into trouble for sticking up for me. I don't want North to get into a fight with someone like Rocky who definitely isn't worth the energy. I can easily ignore what everyone has to say. But the others?"
"I understand your concern," Axel says, coming over to Marc and I. They sandwich me between them and I sink into their warmth like I'm sinking into a hot bath. "We'll talk to them."
"Maybe we should get Raven to drop her off or something. That'll scare those assholes into keeping their lips shut nice and tight."
I laugh at the image. Knowing Raven he would go to that school guns blazing. Real guns too.