Cleo Horan
"I'm sorry, what the fuck?" I was staring at Harry while he was getting dressed, sitting on the edge of the bed while Zayn was leaning his back against the wall.
After he simply rushed out of the living room so he could go check on Holly, he made his way to the bedroom upstairs without saying a word.
Zayn and I followed, obviously.
But we never expected him to say the words that came out of his mouth.
"Holly is Gemma," Harry repeated himself, grabbing a black t-shirt after he put on some grey sweatpants. "As in my sister Gemma."
He said it so fucking casually that I was sure I misheard it. He could repeat it a thousand times and I would still think I heard it wrong. It made no fucking sense.
"Harry, how?" Zayn spoke up, crossing his arms over his chest and furrowing his eyebrows. I knew they were about to have a fight right when I arrived in the living room, and Harry's possessiveness was getting on my
L fucking nerves. I knew he was jealous, I was also a very jealous person...but he was being paranoid. I wondered if something else was going on and maybe his jealousy was an outlet for his frustration.
Either way, it wasn't fair to Zayn. He had way too much patience, I was about to reach for my knife under the pillow and cut one of Harry's fingers off.
But no... I wasn't that person anymore and this time I actually wanted to talk things through, my brain was too worn out already and I was tired. I
wanted to understand why he was feeling this way and I wanted to assure him that I was his just as much as he was mine.
We were all in a bad place and going through our own shit, it wasn't the time or place to prioritize a kiss over everything else that was going on.
"Look, I remembered what happened at Ash's house. And the whistling... it triggered something inside me when I saw Holly. It all clicked." Harry explained like it was the easiest thing in the world. "She's my sister. Can't you see how much this makes sense?"
I actually couldn't.
"What are the odds, Harry? Are you sure? What if the whistling made you think-"
"I know my sister. My memories aren't hazy like they were before, it's clear. I knew Holly was familiar when I saw her, I just couldn't figure out why." Harry explained, running his fingers through his hair before he put on his initials rings.
Fuck, I stared for a bit too long and I had to mentally slap myself. I couldn't wait till my period was over so my hormones couldn't affect my brain so much, at least the cramps were mild this morning.
I didn't sleep very well, but being close to Harry was just what I needed and he wasn't mad at me when he was sleeping, so I just enjoyed that peacefulness while it lasted. But not having him in bed with me was enough to wake me up, along with the sound of the whiskey bottle he broke.
And now here we were... the tension was palpable in the air because of what happened with Zayn, they both had bruised faces and they looked very fucking pissed off, but we had to talk about things that mattered much more, such as the fact Harry claimed his sister was asleep in our guest bedroom downstairs.
He left Holly sleeping and I was sure she wouldn't be up so soon, she was in shock when we found her and if she disassociated like Harry then it was unpredictable.
"What do you remember?" I asked him, shifting on my seat when my leg started to feel numb, and the wound on my thigh was hurting more than last night.
"Everything. But now I can see her face as if it was yesterday. It was a bit blurry before because we were often in the dark and my head was a mess..."
Harry had to stop talking, closing his eyes to take a deep breath as if he was fighting off the painful memories.
It killed me inside that he went through all that, it still seemed surreal to me that he'd been trafficked. No one ever deserved to go through something so cruel, and I was proud of how Harry was handling this.
"Harry, this is too much of a coincidence," Zayn said, catching his attention. "I mean, Ash was our friend... and she was dating your long lost sister who got adopted in secret? I know Anne mentioned Gemma wasn't in New York, but finding her like this in L.A. is crazy."
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Are you really saying that I wouldn't know if it was my own fucking sister?"Harry snapped, taking a step closer to him. "I know it sounds crazy! But the whistling... this isn't a fucking coincidence, it's my sister. She was acting the way I've always acted during an episode, she's probably like me and she doesn't remember. I'm not gonna lose her again."
It made sense if she had repressed it all like Harry. Forgetting was safer and it kept them from facing the pain, but it was temporary. I mean, Harry was still dealing with his past and I knew it hurt to talk about or accept it. And now he was so agitated and determined to keep Holly safe, my brain was trying to catch up.
Maybe Holly was so terrified last night when she hid in the bedroom that it
triggered her memories? Or what if that was her brain's instinctive reaction because she felt just as scared as she used to feel when she was little?
I knew Landslide was a well-known song and I didn't want to believe it had any connection to the whistling Harry always listened to his dreams or episodes. I was aware his sister used to whistle it to him to calm him down... what if Holly was trying to calm herself down by doing the same?
Maybe she had the same coping mechanisms as Harry.
Fuck, this couldn't be real.
"Okay, let's say she's Gemma," Zayn said. "What are you gonna do? Just dump everything on her? Have you forgotten she had no clue about Ash's life? We're not exactly good people, Harry."
"Thank you for the fucking reminder." Harry lowered his voice and took another step closer to Zayn. "Now shove it up your ass."
"Harry, I know this is a lot for you and you have the right to feel emotional about this, but I'm trying to be rational. The probability of this happening is close to zero. Like, the fact Gemma is Holly is-′
"Shut the fuck up, Zayn!" Harry shouted. "You always want to seem all smart but now isn't the fucking time. It's my sister. I know it is!"
This was so fucking confusing and conflicting.
I could understand Zayn, I mean, we all had trust issues and we were wary... this was indeed a huge coincidence and it was insane. But Harry was certain it was Gemma and I trusted him. No matter how uncontrolled or on edge he was, he would never make a mistake about his damn sister.
Especially not after what he discovered about his past.
He had to live with those painful memories every day and now he said they were clearer... but not only Gemma's face was clearer, I was sure the painful parts were worse too. The more he allowed himself to feel and remember, the more he suffered. "Then we have to talk to her and check if she remembers-"
"Don't fucking tell me what to do!" Harry interrupted Zayn, and I knew his mind was probably a clusterfuck of emotions but he needed to calm down a little.
But Zayn's jaw clenched and the look in his eyes was nothing like I'd ever seen in him before, it reminded me of myself when I was numb.
And he caught us all off guard when he suddenly threw himself over Harry, making them both fall on the floor before his fist hit Harry's jaw very damn hard.
Here we fucking go.
Now I had to deal with two uncontrolled male specimens and they probably forgot that this little fight was fucking meaningless. I knew Zayn rarely snapped, I had never seen him get this aggressive before and I was indeed a bit shocked.
But Harry managed to push him to the side right when Zayn was about to punch him again, getting on top of him and this time punching Zayn in the same place he did yesterday. It looked like I was watching two middle schoolers fighting.
Zayn used his knee to briskly push Harry off him, and Harry was quick to get on his feet again. But not fast enough to stop Zayn from punching him and pushing him against the wall, holding Harry by the collar of his shirt as he got ready to throw another punch.
I forgot Zayn was a much better fighter, he was really damn fast and strong.
But this had to stop. I inhaled very deeply to calm myself down before I finally stood up from the bed, stretching my arms and ignoring the pain on my thigh before I moved quickly and held Zayn's arm, twisting it behind his back and catching him off guard.
He tried to hit me with his elbow out of reflex, and the way it brushed my stomach right before I pulled away just made me lose it. I twisted his arm even more and roughly pushed him against the wall this time, until his cheek was pressed against the grey wallpaper and he grunted in pain.
The last thing I needed was getting hit anywhere near my abdomen, I didn't even want to think about the cramps that would follow. Harry was trying to catch his breath as he looked at me, his lower lip was busted open and he'd have more bruises soon. What a fucking mess.
"I'll let you go now," I whispered at Zayn when he tried to struggle, pushing his face even harder against the wall so he'd know I'd have no trouble in stopping him again if I had to. "Okay?"
He just nodded, and I slowly let him go, not used at all to this. Seeing Zayn snapping the way he did was very fucking unexpected and now my thigh was hurting like a bitch.
"I'm about to lose my fucking patience," I spoke up, glaring at Zayn this time. "We're not in a good place, I know. But we all need to calm the fuck down."
"He fucking started it! He's not the only one who has the right to lose control. I'm fucking sick of it!" Zayn shouted, taking a step closer to get to Harry, but I got in between them. "I'm trying to help. You've gotten hurt enough times and I'm just being careful. What if it isn't Gemma?"
"I don't wanna hear it," Harry said, and I turned my head to look at him. "And if I were you I'd stay the fuck away from me, Zayn. Or haven't you realized I'm not gonna hold myself back?"
"I'm done with your shit and I'm sure Cleo is too." Zayn raised one eyebrow and I just gaped at him. "Stop being selfish, Harry."
"Cleo can speak for herself." I raised my voice. "I'm fucking done with both of you now! First Harry and his stupid fucking jealousy over a kiss I barely remembered because it meant nothing! The stupid fights and now you both keep fucking provoking each other like children? I dare you to fucking fight again. I will fight back, and it's not gonna be pretty if I have to interfere again. Now shut the fuck up, go clean your goddamn faces, and let's go downstairs to check on Holly!"
Harry and Zayn just stared at me, with wide eyes and surprised expressions on their injured faces.
They picked the wrong fucking week to get on my fucking nerves.
But thankfully they didn't say anything else, staying in silence when they went to clean themselves up, and I took deep breaths to calm my heartbeat while I waited.
They needed to have an actual conversation instead of fighting, this was so fucking annoying. We were all tired and hurt, and now the fact that Harry's sister could be downstairs just made everything seem so damn difficult.
I was tired and hurt, thinking about Liam and Ash and Niall... and all the times I'd failed before. This was too much. But Zayn was right about not being selfish right now, or else we wouldn't make it.
Zayn and Harry finally walked out of the bathroom and they glanced at me with a puppy look in their eyes that wasn't going to get them anywhere, I was fucking pissed. They needed to sort their priorities and having stupid fights was a waste of time.
"Let's see if she's awake," I spoke up, starting to make my way downstairs and knowing they would follow.
Harry was so confident about this, I knew it was probably killing him inside. I mean, his actual sister? I had no idea how I'd react if I was in his place.
And the three of us stopped as soon as we reached the bottom of the stairs, right when we saw a quite disoriented Holly walking towards the wall- length windows.
Fuck.
She quickly noticed she wasn't alone and she turned around quickly, and I noticed she was holding a kitchen knife in her trembling hands. Her wide eyes were filled with tears and she seemed confused when she saw us, but I couldn't blame her.
She had no idea where she was and I wondered what she remembered, but it was cute that she grabbed a kitchen knife for protection. It also showed how unprepared she was... well, she was just normal.
"Hi, Holly," Zayn spoke up, taking a careful step towards her, but she quickly stepped back, tightening her grip on the knife.
And then her eyes finally met Harry's.
Her expression suddenly changed as if she realized where she was, becoming aware of her surroundings and maybe remembering last night. I saw recognition in her eyes while they just stared at each other... but no surprise at all on her expression, unlike Harry.
"Hi, Harry," Holly said with a sympathetic look in her eyes, but her voice sounded almost sad as she lowered the knife. And we all just gaped at her when she decided to speak her next words.
"I missed you."