Chapter ThirtyTwo
Omniscient
Los Angeles Psychiatry - Monday Morning
The day had finally come for the first session with Chris and Mya. Nerves were on an all time high as they both anticipated what would happen after today. Chris woke up early just to pray and meditate. He wanted to stay level headed during this whole thing and just really listen so that things can go back to normal.
Over the weekend they were able to get a taste of what used to be. Before and after the show they hung out. It felt good to not be at odds, to laugh and enjoy each other's company. They weren't acting like a couple, there weren't any intimate moments but them being best friends was quite obvious to everybody.
Chris hadn't performed since before Jade was born so having Mya there helped him with being nervous.
This session was going to be different. Dr. Thompson asked to meet them where they're most comfortable, so they chose their house of course. He knew that with the tempers on these two things could possibly get crazy and he didn't need anybody in his office hearing that. He also reached out to their mothers to be mediators if needed.
Mya anxiously waited in the living room for Dr. Thompson and Chris to show up. She wanted a drink so bad and was trying so hard to fight against it. Eventually, she gave in had two mimosas.
The sound of the door opening made her quickly put her glass away and the champagne. She hurried to the door and it was Chris and Dr. Thompson.
"Hello." Mya said.
"Hello Mya." Dr. Thompson said.
"Wassup." Chris came and gave her a hug and a kiss on her cheek. "You been drinking?" He asked kind of surprised.
"Just a mimosa, I got breakfast for everybody."
He nodded before heading to the family room.
"Um, I have everything set up in the family room, you can follow me." Mya said to Dr. Thompson. "Do you want some food or something to drink?"
"Coffee, please." He answered.
"Okay." Mya showed him the family room then went and made coffee. Chris was making a plate of food.
"I thought you'd stay away from any type of liquor." Chris said.
"Why would I do that?"
"You know why."
"Trust me, I know my limit and like I said it was just a mimosa. Don't do that."
"Do what? I'm tryna make sure you ain't drunk when we supposed to be focused on fixing our damn relationship."
"You want me focused but trying to start an argument when I've told you it was just a couple mimosas. I'm sober Chris, what you think ima drink too much and kiss the fucking doctor?!" She yelled.
His head quickly snapped towards her, intimidating Mya a little bit.
"Everything okay in here?" Dr. Thompson asked while stepping in the kitchen.
"Yes." Mya answered.
"My wife might be drunk, she already saying stupid shit." Chris added.
Mya rolled her eyes. "Here's your coffee, I'll be in there." She went and sat on the couch while exhaling. Mya could feel that this was going to be stressful.
Eventually Chris and Dr. Thompson made their way into the family room and sat down.
"You guys ready?" Dr. Thompson asked.
They both nodded.
"Okay, so a couple weeks ago I spoke with you both about your marriage and to see if you're willing to work on thing with my guidance and you both agreed to give your all, I'm hoping that's still the same. I chose to have the first meeting in your home where you're comfortable because this is normally when the worst of the worst comes out. You two are still high off emotions from everything that has occurred and my goal today is to get through that first layer. I'm kind of nervous to say this but nothing is off limits. If you two are never completely honest with each other you'll never get better. This meeting will also determine a lot and help you two figure things out when it comes to what is the next step with your marriage. So first thing, Chris why is saving your marriage important to you?"
"Because despite everything, I love Mya. I didn't marry her for nothing and I don't want our time to go to waste." He answered.
"Mya?"
"I love him, I'm in love with him. I can't imagine my life with anyone else but Chris. We gotta make this work. Not only for our sake but our children as well."
Dr. Thompson nodded. "Alright...well Chris, the roles have been switched. Your wife was unfaithful to you and your feeling towards that have been everywhere as you said. Can you tell Mya, how you really feel about everything?"
Sighing, Chris sat his plate on the table then he sat back and picked at his beard. "My feelings about this situation have been difficult to understand because there are so many things that I am feeling. Mainly I'm hurt, that's obvious. Even though I know Mya goal wasn't to do what she did, it still hurts. They say a man can dish it but they can't take it and that is the absolute truth. I've done worse and yeah she was mad but we got past it but me I'm ready to just end it all and I think what makes it worse for me is because this happened publicly in a middle of a club in front of hundreds of people. So that's me facing the humiliation. I'm disappointed because it's the last thing that I expected from her. Mya and I have had conversations before about how territorial I am of her. I feel she thought everything wouldn't be as bad because she kissed another woman but it ain't okay. We're married we don't do reckless shit. We both know better drunk or not."
Mya felt some type of about the whole 'we're married, we don't do reckless shit' thing. Because even though he hasn't been unfaithful during their marriage he has had his share of recklessness.
"How do you feel about what he said Mya?"
"Um, his feelings about what happened is completely understandable and I can't ever tell him that's not how he should feel. My only issue is we're not going to pretend like I'm the only one whose ever been reckless in this marriage." She answered and that caused Chris to sit up and look over at her.
"You're speaking in regards to Chris's substance abuse, aren't you?"
"Yes. He has publicly embarrassed me multiple times. All of his fans saw him snorting cocaine off of a woman's stomach. Let's not have amnesia today because you want me to be the only bad guy."
"Nobody ever said I didn't do anything though." Chris said.
"We're married, we don't do reckless shit. You just said that. That's making it seem like a few months ago I wasn't living in Miami then in my own apartment while you were going through rehab. A lot of reckless shit has been going on in this relationship, period and if we're being honest here, your shit stinks a lot worse than mine. Fucking two bitches, the drugs, the lies. I kissed a bitch while I was so fucking drunk and blacked the fuck out and I'm just horrible and you're just utterly disgusted."
"Yes I have fucked up, I ain't sitting here pretending to be perfect but here's something you gotta understand, I fixed my shit while yo stupid ass just want to sit around looking dumb waiting for somebody to feel sorry for you."
"Okay, okay." Dr. Thompson intervened. "Name calling is very unnecessary."
"I apologize, you know I'm great at that."
Mya let out a small laugh. "Sad."
"Chris have you received an apology for what happened?" Dr. Thompson asked.
"She's said her normal, I'm sorry and I wish it didn't happen." Chris answered.
"I learned from the best, you've said it so much it's like a second language to me." Mya smirked.
"Doing what you do best, making shit all about me."
"This session is supposed to be about us fixing our marriage but it's just you trying to make it seem like I'm the reason why everything is fucked up."
"What else is it?! None of this would be happening if you didn't let some random bitch shove her tongue down to throat and play with yo pussy in the middle of the club. No wait, before that I left because you were starving yourself."
"Time out." Dr. Thompson stood up before Mya could respond. "I know I said nothing is off limits but arguing the entire session isn't going to work. It's just adding more fuel to the fire. You two need to learn how to communicate and that's the bottom line because it's beyond obvious that you don't know how. Let's move on from Mya's situation. We've heard Chris's feelings, Mya has apologized but I feel like no matter what apology is given it's not going to fix anything. That's with anybody cheating, words aren't what help. It's all about action and Chris you don't feel like Mya has done the work to fix everything, correct?"
"Yeah." Chris said.
"Mya, do you think you've done anything to try and fix your marriage?"
"I realized that I'm the problem so I decided to try and do work on myself first before I worked on anything else." Mya responded.
"Chris honestly, what could she do to help the situation?"
Chris exhaled before shrugging. "Don't really know but then again I don't think it's my responsibility to figure that out. When I cheated I made the effort, when I did drugs, I did what I needed to do. Mya is supposed to figure this out like I did."
"He's right Mya, you know that right?"
"Yes." Mya said.
"Alright, let's talk about the good things, let's get rid of some of the tension because as you've both admitted, things aren't all bad. Mya when we discussed how you and Chris first met, you said it was something that he didn't know."
Chris looked over at Mya, wondering what it was that he was talking about.
The last thing Mya wanted to do was make Chris's head any bigger. "When we first crossed paths, I was actually a nervous wreck and then we had to get on that elevator and I ended up standing in front of you my heart was beating so fast I thought the whole elevator could hear it. I could've been an actress the way I pretended that I didn't want you."
Chris smiled. "I knew it was all a front, you gave in too easily. I thought you was a player."
"You didn't know nothing."
"Mmhm."
"What's your secret Chris? I'm sure you have one too." Dr. Thompson said.
He let out a small laugh while twirling his wedding band. Even though he took Mya's ring he still made sure to wear his. "I randomly watch our wedding video like it's my favorite movie or something. I do it so much lately Landon knows most of my wedding vows."
"Are you serious?" Mya laughed.
"Yeah man. That was one of the best days of my life, I love to relive it sometimes, especially while things are like this."
"When you watch your wedding videos, does it make it easier for you to see what you want for your marriage?"
"Yes."
"And what's that?"
"Coming home and us getting back on track. Us not being together isn't an option for me. I just want us to fix the problems that we have so that things can get better."
Dr. Thompson nodded. "Alright....so the first part of your therapy, I want to work on the biggest issues that I believe you two have and that's communication. I asked you both how you two fix things after an argument and you both gave me the same answer which was sex. That's a problem, a huge problem. Why do you think it's difficult for you both to sit down and say, okay here's the problem now let's figure out how to fix it?"
"I don't think it was a problem, I just think it's something that we've never done." Mya said.
"Yeah." Chris agreed.
"It's a problem. How many things have you two withheld from each other?" Dr. Thompson asked. "There's so many secrets that you've kept but when you're married you're supposed to be an open book."
"The only thing I've ever hidden from Mya was the fact that I was back doing drugs and that I still had my house. I hide shit that I know will piss her off, never some deep dark secret."
Both Mya and Dr. Thompson knew what he was referring to. Dr. Thompson thought that was a low blow.
"So Chris let's take away the fame and the money so none of your problems were public information, but all of your mistakes, and issues were still very real. When you first met Mya, you would've sat her down and told her that you had a domestic dispute and was accused of being abusive, and you have an addiction to drugs, and battle multiple mental illnesses? Are you telling me you would've laid that all out for her?"
"Over time, yes. But even with the fame and the money I gave Mya full access to these situations. Whatever she wanted to know, I've let her know."
"That's a lie because I don't even pick at your past." Mya said. "Why would I want you to relive one of the most awful times in your life? I know it happened but the details don't matter because it ain't none of my business and I'm definitely not going to your family and asking them about it either."
Dr. Thompson squinted. "What do you mean by that?"
"She's referring to me asking her parents about what happened to her." Chris responded before Mya could.
"You thought that was okay?"
"She wasn't going to tell me, so I went and asked."
"But she told you about her experience in my office so I'm confused."
"I needed the whole story."
"But you could've just been patient and let me tell you." Mya said.
"That's never going to happen and you know it Mya. They were apart of it so it's basically their story to tell."
"It's not their story to tell! They weren't there, he was touching and raping them! My momma wasn't pregnant by her uncle, I WAS! You ain't shit for going over there and doing that, and they shouldn't have told you shit before talking to me and making sure it was fucking okay." Mya was pissed now. "Should I go ask Joyce what really happened inside that Lamborghini that night or if you really kicked Karrueche down the stairs."
That was the trigger.
Before anybody else react, Chris had Mya pinned down on the couch.
"Bitch you got me fucked up." He yelled in her face.
"GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!"
"You really gone do that?! You really gone say that sick ass shit to me?!"
"CHRIS I CANT BREATHE GET OFF OF ME!" Mya screamed.
"Chris you gotta let her go." Dr. Thompson pleaded
Joyce and Makayla heard the commotion causing them to run downstairs. When they saw what was happening they immediately tried to pull Chris.
"Let her go Christopher!" Joyce yelled.
"Naw fuck this bitch!" Chris said pushing down on her.
"GET OFF OF ME!" Mya pleaded, now in tears. Just screaming that caused flashbacks and she started to hyperventilate.
"She's having a panic attack Chris, move!" Makayla yelled causing him to snap out of and finally let her go.
Chris stared at Mya who was fighting to catch her breath, he felt like he was going to lose it next. He sat back and rubbed his hands over his face then back up and gripped his hair. "What did I just do?"
Dr. Thompson saw him getting ready to explode so he grabbed Chris and took him outside. "Chris take deep breaths."
"I fucked up. I just made shit worse, I fucked up, I fucked up." Chris paced the floor. "I fucked up."
"Everything is going to be alright, just breathe."
Chris looked at Dr. Thompson before breaking down in tears. "Why am I so stupid?!"
"Everything will be fine."
"It's not, it's really not. I just put my hands on my wife. What the fuck is wrong with me?!"
Dr. Thompson didn't really even know what to say in this moment. He couldn't keep saying that everything would be fine because he wasn't sure what would happen after this.
Joyce came outside. "What the hell happened?"
Chris couldn't even speak he just cried more.
"Some words were said in regards to Chris's past and everything went downhill from there."
Joyce exhaled. "I'm sorry Dr. Thompson but I think they should end their session for today."
"Agreed but I just want to make sure everyone is okay. Im going to check up on Mya." He went inside and Joyce went to her son.
"I just ruined everything ma." Chris said.
"You don't know that."
"I put my hands on her, like how could I be so stupid?"
"Chris just relax, okay? Have a seat, chill out."
He sat on the chair that was out there. "I just need to accept the fact that my marriage is over man. We don't need each other, everything is just fucked up. Just toxic."
"I think you and Mya need to just take a breather from each other. No communication, no seeing each other, give it a couple weeks before you schedule your next session. Makayla and I will be the access points for you. Chris you're angry, and everything because of what happened but you need to find a way to let that go. Spend some time to refocus and regroup. Stop rushing into everything. I know you want your family back together but you both need to do some soul searching and therapy."
Chris exhaled and sunk back in his seat. He didn't want things to be this way but maybe his mom was right.
It's time for a break between these two.
•••
After everything Mya went and got in bed and stayed there. Chris never left his spot in the backyard, he just stared at the view that they had. Both of their minds just racing with so many thoughts.
Mainly, what's going to happen next.
Climbing out of bed, Mya decided to finally go and get some food. Chris was thinking the same so he went to make something. Mya wasn't paying any attention, she was responding to her moms text, checking up on her.
She went into the refrigerator and grabbed some leftovers she had from the other day, when Mya turned to go to the microwave, she stopped when she saw Chris standing there, staring at her.
"I didn't know you were still here." Mya said.
"Yeah, just have been sitting out by the pool, thinking."
"About?"
".......everything."
"Can you be more specific?"
Chris's eyes started burning. "Maybe we should just stop wasting each other's time. We both got a lot going on and I just don't see it working out in our favor in the end."
"What happened to us separating not being an option?"
"Mya what happened earlier, should've never ever happened."
"What I said was unnecessary."
"But that doesn't give me the right to put my hands on you. We're toxic Mya. I never wanted this for us."
"And that's why we're trying to fix things. This was just day one, it's going to get better."
"How do you know that?"
"Because if we want this we're going to fight for it! Dr. Thompson even said things were going to get ugly before they got better. Why you trying to give up so easily?"
"Because in 2009, I made a vow that I'll never put my hands on a woman in that manner again." Tears ran down his face. "Look what I did."
"Why you making it seem like you abused me, you just held me down. No I'm not saying that's okay but Chris I'm okay. Haven't I been physical with you? I actually hit you, knowing your past."
"Mya please don't try to pacify this because you still feel guilty."
"I'm not, I just don't want you tripping so hard on this because I know how you can get. I'm fine, okay? Like I said before it gets better, it gets worse."
Chris exhaled while looking up at the ceiling. "My mom thinks we should give each other space...like real space."
"She told me."
"Maybe we do need that, just a little time."
Mya's heart was breaking all over again. "She said that we shouldn't talk, we shouldn't see each other. You agree?"
"Just for a little bit. I gotta work on forgiving you. Me holding this hostility ain't healthy and it's not going to help us move forward."
"But Chris."
"Just a few weeks, I gotta get my mind right."
Mya felt defeated, she knew she wasn't going to be able to change his mind. "Okay." Her voice cracked.
He walked over to her and lightly kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry."
"Me too."