It doesn't always take a lot for someone to lose themself. It can be a few unfortunate words from someone essential or missing an important due date. Academic validation is a significant factor in many young people's lives that leads to them losing control. Everyone has moments within their life where everything seems to be slipping from their fingertips like an arrow accidentally shot into the sky before everyone was ready.
Some people lose themselves at the hands of others or their expense. Sometimes, people who are too hell-bent on being the hero or having the last word push themselves past their limit and overextend their capabilities. Notoriety is something sought after by the masses, but not everyone is cut out for the life of it. Or perhaps they go about it the wrong way from time to time. Whatever the scenario, people tend to lose control when everything becomes too much for them to handle.
When this happens, not everyone can be saved. Some people are beyond reasoning when it comes to their own capabilities and cannot be persuaded that it is too much. In the most extreme cases, only one person can convince that person that they need to take a step back and evaluate what it is they're trying to achieve and if the sacrifice is worth it. Every person is different in the ways they need help. Sometimes, a family can save them or be their downfall. Love is something that people tend to over-extend themselves for, despite it being something that is claimed to come easy.
Knowing your limits is one thing; following them is another.
-----
Lyra stared at his mop of curls from across the Great Hall, watching him smile with the very same people who made her closest friends' lives miserable. He had a natural smile around them, not something forced that appeared whenever she and he were speaking with others together. Perhaps Regulus was aware of the act that Lyra forced whenever the two were together, or maybe he was happy she had been dodging him the last few days.
The darker thoughts in the blonde's mind reminded her that she was initially just a task given to the Slytherin from the Dark Lord. Sure, Regulus claimed that he was saving her from the horrid hands of Pierre Montagne. But he was still a Black and a Slytherin at that; he may have a different plan that included Lyra becoming a part of the cult of blood supremacists he belonged to. He had slowly begun to keep more secrets from the girl, despite their agreement. Maybe he believed she was too far in to run.
He didn't know Lyra as well as he thought he did.
"You alright?" James whispered from beside his twin, nudging her with his elbow gently, "You've barely touched your food."
Over the last few days, Lyra couldn't go anywhere without James attached to her hip or a few steps away from her. It was comforting, having him around constantly. She never felt at risk of slipping back into the state she felt when near Regulus. She had begun to snap back at the witty remarks people would throw her instead of simply offering a coy smile. Colour had restored itself within her cheeks, and her eyes were no longer threatening to fall from their sockets. James was the anchor that kept Lyra grounded, and she was glad he was back attached to her boat.
"Hm?" the blonde mused, turning her eyes away from her fictitious boyfriend, "Yeah, I'm alright. Just thinking."
Bullshit.
Recently, well, ever since the accident in the halls, Lyra had begun to pick up on phrases floating into her head. It happened whenever she let herself slip from the grasps of reality, as though her mind was wandering from one head to the next. She thought it was paranoia, but the way that Dumbledore seemed to have taken a keen interest in her led her to believe there was something else going on in her brain. She'd read that sometimes it took years for a legilimens power to manifest, and a part of her wondered if that was the case.
"You know how to think?" Sirius quipped as he and Remus slid into the seats across from the twins, blocking the youngest from her view of Regulus Black.
"Haha," Lyra mocked with a dry tone, rolling her eyes at his remark, "Aren't you hilarious."
Sirius cracked a smile that made butterflies erupt within the blonde's stomach. It seemed everyone in the group had begun to pick up on the change in the way the two were acting around one another. The teasing was no longer malicious or hurtful but simply fun and lighthearted. Lyra now enjoyed being around the boy with others present and counted down the hours before they would sneak off into the Room of Requirement at night and relish in the other's presence.
"Lyra," a french accent drawled as he and Peter approached the table, "Looking happier than usual. Someone on your mind?"
If there was anyone's mind that Lyra wanted to sneak into, it was Pierre's. However, it seemed he was prepared for whatever it was that was going on with the Gryffindor, seeing as no matter how much focus she put into it, not a single french thought wandered through her mind. Peter seemed to follow the same regiment, seeing as Lyra could no longer venture into the wormy ideas that tunnelled within his blonde head. She still didn't trust a word he uttered, no matter how many people vouched for him.
Lyra knew what she saw, but she didn't at the same time. Something was missing in her head that was keeping her from exposing the true nature of Wormtail.
"Reckon Regulus Black is on the brain," a deep voice boomed from behind the blonde. Lyra turned her head to see the Head Master standing around the table, a tense look on his face, "Hope all is well here."
"All is fine," Lyra returned, a tight smile tugging across her lips, "Nothing out of sorts."
-----
Lyra whistled a tune as she collected the various papers from the table she occupied in the library. She had decided to sneak away from the group at dinner to get some extra studying done, electing to continue avoiding Regulus in hopes he'd understand her distance and take it as a sign. The sound of giggling sent a shiver down her spine as her stomach churned. The happy couple had been curled into one another for the past hour, and Lyra had done her very best not to turn and silence them.
She wasn't sure who occupied the vast area alongside her, but whoever it was needed to learn a thing or two about library etiquette. But then again, she hadn't exactly made her presence known to the pair. After all, she was hidden behind a large bookshelf filled with herbology books that made absolutely no sense to the blonde. She would have given anything to flick her wrist and know everything about the subject like her friend Alice.
The blonde pushed back from the table and turned, finding herself running face-first into a firm chest that was all too familiar. The entire situation was reminiscent of the first time the two had met all of those months ago, both naive to the other's true intentions. Pierre's scent was distinct, and Lyra wanted to throw up at the idea that she had even considered him attractive at one point.
"Whatcha up to, Potter?" He inquired, rocking back and forth on his feet, "Trying to figure it out what it was Peter was doing at Grimmauld place?"
"Studying, actually," Lyra retorted with a sarcastic smile, ducking around the boy to begin returning the books to their shelves, "Seeing as some of us want a future outside of this school and the war."
"Aw, come on," Pierre mockingly pouted, following the blonde as she wandered down the different aisles, "Do you think so lowly of me?"
"Is that a serious question?"
"Yes."
Lyra rolled her eyes at the tone he used, rounding the corner to the more open expanse in the library. Her eyes landed on the couple she had heard earlier, and her face paled. Now she understood why Pierre was tormenting her. He wanted to be there to see her reaction to the sight that lay in front of her.
"Aren't they a cute couple?" He hummed as he strolled up beside her, facing the blonde girl and Gryffindor boy curled in a chair.
Lyra swallowed thickly as she watched Scarlett run her fingers through the same tresses Lyra had the night before. She knew that both she and Sirius were still technically with other people and that the public still believed both to be enamoured with Regulus and Scarlett, respectively. But she hadn't seen the two together so openly since she and Sirius first found utopia in one another. He had wrapped her in rose petals and planted her within a garden of love and kindness. But she supposed even the sweetest roses had thorns.
"Quite," Lyra nodded, trying to keep her emotions settled deep within her stomach, "They compliment each other well."
"I think they're soulmates."
"Soulmates aren't real."
"I know."
"I have to go speak to Regulus."
"I know."
-----
If she ended it with Regulus, that would prompt Sirius to end things with Scarlett. That was her logic. After all, there wouldn't be anything standing in the way of the two being together. No one would hurt them if they finally stopped hiding what it was that went on behind closed doors. It wasn't as if anyone had threatened the two if they were to get together.
Well, no one had threatened Lyra, at least. She couldn't speak for Sirius.
"Reggie?" Lyra called as she rounded the final steps to the astronomy tower, "You here?"
"Hello, dear," Regulus cooed as he pushed back from the railing, "I can only assume why it is you called me here."
Lyra pursed her lips and stared down at the ground. He had picked up on the distancing. The blonde walked towards him, hands tucked behind her back as the spring air warmed her chilled bones. She wasn't planning on ending it as abruptly as she was about to, perhaps taking a longer expanse of time to detach from his name in the public eye fully. But seeing Scarlett tangled within the arms of her Sirius had set something off within the girl. Perhaps it was impulsivity or boldness, or it could have been rage and stupidity. Whatever it was, Lyra knew that this had to be an excellent start to her and Sirius finally moving forward.
"I'm sorry," Lyra began, lifting her eyes to meet those of the younger Black brother, "I can't do it. I can't keep up this act."
A stern expression took over the previously understanding one on Regulus's face. Perhaps using the word 'act' was not the kindest thing for Lyra to do. After all, she had told Regulus that she was in love with him, just as he was her. It was a low blow on the Gryffindor's part, but she didn't want to mince any words with him. If there were any gray areas, she knew that it would return to bite her in the ass. Regulus was a powerful man, the type of power not even James could protect her from.
"Right," he nodded, eyes deceiving his cold exterior, "The act."
"It's...it's too much."
"I understand."
"And..."
"And Sirius."
"Yeah."
Regulus turned his eyes from Lyra's quickly, becoming interested in a speck of dirt on his shoes instead. It seemed it wasn't just the immediate friend group that had understood that there was more to Lyra and Sirius than friendly banter. She wasn't sure when it was that Regulus no doubt understood that it wasn't him that Lyra was whispering those tender three words that more than likely brought him comfort. It was ruthless and horrible of the blonde to string Regulus along as she had, but she knew that it would end up as a greater good.
"You know," he began, his voice resembling that of his fathers, "This isn't going to end well."
"I'm sorry?" Lyra questioned, eyebrows furrowing.
A wicked laugh echoed across the walls of the astronomy tower, a sound that Lyra had never heard Regulus make in his life. But she watched as his snake-like mouth pulled back into an almost amused smile. Whatever sick delight he was experiencing from this made Lyra sick to her stomach. Perhaps the suspicions she had were valid. Regulus was using her as a power-grab with the Dark Lord.
"He's become fond of you," Regulus shrugged, "The Dark Lord. You're in it now, Lyra. But this time, you won't have me keeping you away from the fire."
Lyra didn't move as he took off down the stairs.
-----
The blonde didn't waste another second as she took off down the astronomy tower steps when she was sure he was gone. Her footsteps were light as she tore through the stone hallways, mind racing with a million different thoughts. Voldemort had barely taken notice of Lyra aside from the first night and the few brief comments. He had oddly referred to her, but it was undoubtedly a fear tactic to remind her of his power. The possibility of Sirius finally becoming hers in the public eye took the forefront, however. She no longer had his brother attached to her name. She was free for him to take as his own.
The possibility of love was so close. Sure, he had uttered the words before in the letter, but now, it was something that was indeed possible. Sirius Black was just within Lyra's reach, waiting and ready for her to finally claim and show him that he hadn't broken her completely. She could still love him and piece together his pieces to create a beautiful stained mosaic that she would mirror. He could fix the cracks left on her heart from her previous scars if he just took her in his arms.
Lyra tore through the common room door and spotted him in seconds. He, Peter, and Remus were gathered around the fire, lounging across the couches with lazy smiles on their faces. Remus was first to notice the blonde enter, and he greeted her with a kind wave and a soft greeting. Sirius and Peter turned and smiled at the blonde as she bounded towards the former, jumping over the couch and tugging him up from the seat by his collar and spinning, so his back was towards the fire.
"Lyra?" he laughed, eyes staring down at her with adoration and love, making those same butterflies from earlier on in the day erupt within her stomach.
"I ended things with Regulus."
"What?" Sirius scoffed in shock, his smile still bright, "That's great."
"That means this," she whispered, motioning between the two, "It can happen. You just have to end things with Scarlett."
"I can do that."
"Really?"
"Ye-"
Sirius turned his eyes away from her quickly, finding something behind her more interesting than her face. Lyra felt her smile falter as his eyes moved from her face to just behind her. The blonde tilted her head to the side and tugged at his collar gently once more, forgetting that others were around. But it seemed Sirius was preoccupied staring at whatever was so captivating behind her.
Lyra turned her head to glance over her should, finding her eyes meeting those of Pierre Montagne. His look was deadly as he stared down the pair, his eyes appearing snake-like with the amount of venom apparent in his facial expression.
"I don't want to," Sirius continued, catching Lyra's attention once more, "There's nothing more to what this is than sex."
Well, Lyra wasn't expecting that.