Pairing: Jeongin & Felix (ft. SKZ & ATZ)
Genre: Idol AU, Littlespace AU
!!TW!! : mild angst, insecurities, age regression, stunts, ultimately sweet
(requested by @midnightstorm)
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"Lixie? Are you in there, baby?"
Soft, muffled sniffles echoed in answer, and Jeongin held back a relieved sigh. He'd been looking for Felix for almost half-an-hour now, his boyfriend having vanished without warning the moment they all returned from their dry rehearsal. He quickly made his way to the last stall in the bathroom, carefully pulling it open.
There Felix was, curled up in a corner with his legs pulled against his chest, his lower lip wobbling as tears trailed down his eyes, admittedly damaging his makeup a bit. Jeongin cooed softly, going to sit beside him, and Felix let out a small sob when his boyfriend pulled him into his arms.
"Lixie, I told you not to disappear like that," he scolded gently.
"'m sorry. I just felt bad and didn't want- didn't want the others to see."
His sweet boyfriend was obviously struggling between two headspaces right now, his instincts calling for him to slip but his mind painfully aware that he couldn't afford it right now. Jeongin merely tightened his hold on him in an attempt to ground him.
"Why do you feel bad, baby?" he asked softly, rubbing Felix's back. "Is it because of what happened during rehearsal?" Felix nodded quickly, hiding his face in Jeongin's chest. "Lixie, it was just an accident. It happens to everyone. You'll do better during the real performance, I'm sure of it."
"But- but I hurt Sungie...! And what if- what if I don't do better? What if I mess everything up and- and make us look bad and disappoint everyone—"
"Love, you're getting too lost in your head right now," chided Jeongin, kissing Felix's forehead – the Little almost instantly relaxed under the show of affection. "You're getting too worked up over this, okay? You need to take deep breaths and focus on something else for a bit."
"I- I can't...!"
"Hmm, yes you can, baby. I know you can. How about we go back to our room? I brought you drawing book and your pencil case. We can draw together and relax. How does that sound, sweetheart?"
"But I'm gonna slip..."
"It's okay if you slip for a bit," assured Jeongin, petting the Little's head. "We'll keep an eye on the time and I'll talk you out of your headspace in time, okay? Plus, you'll have a much clearer head if you allow yourself to relax for a bit."
They still had many hours before they were to be called on stage to film the first episode of Kingdom. They had ample time for Felix to regress for a bit, maybe even take a nap, and Jeongin was confident that his boyfriend would feel much better afterward. Right now, he was too shaken by what happened during practice – it wouldn't do any good for his headspace.
Felix finally caved in, nodding mutely as he snuggled a bit more in Jeongin's arms. The younger smiled a bit before readjusting his hold around his boyfriend and rising to his feet, easily picking Felix up. It had taken him a while to get used to his enhanced strength after presenting as a Caregiver, but he'd come a long way since then.
Humming softly under his breath, Jeongin carried Felix back to their lounge where the rest of the group was anxiously waiting for their return. They all knew just how badly Felix had taken his mistakes during the rehearsal, and they could only hope things would go better during the real stage – not only for the sake of the competition, but mostly for Felix's confidence, since it would undoubtedly crash if they didn't get a good result because of a mistake he made.
However, Jeongin trusted his boyfriend. He was the type to work best under pressure, contrarily to most of them. When came his time to shine, Felix truly stole the spotlight, and Jeongin was confident today would be no different – now, it was just a matter of convincing his boyfriend to believe in himself a little more.
For now, though, he was going to focus on taking care of his Little.
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"How is he?"
"Tired. He's going to need tomorrow off, hyung."
"Of course. I promised you when we agreed to participate to the competition: the day after each showcase will be for resting and relaxing – and regressing, in Felix's case."
Jeongin exhaled in relief, and Chan smiled lightly, patting his head. Snuggled comfortably in Jeongin's arms, Felix let out a soft noise, but didn't wake up. As expected, he'd done an amazing job during the actual performance, and he'd been just as overjoyed as the others when they were announced as the winners of the preliminary round – but now, the excitement of the day had caught up to him.
He'd fallen into a daze almost immediately after the cameras were turned off, and Jeongin had taken it upon himself to carry him back to their lounge and help him wipe his makeup off and change out of his stage clothes. Felix had fallen asleep at some point throughout, and he hadn't woken up since.
Fighting one's headspace would do that, unfortunately.
Presenting as a Little was uncommon. It was a headspace that could be born from trauma, intense stress, or even genetics – but, ultimately, only about nine percent of the world population ever developed an actual Little headspace. And, in answer, someone close to them would usually present as a Caregiver, in order to balance things out.
Felix and Jeongin used to be Neutrals like every other member in their group, saved for Chan, who was a rare case of a Caregiver having presented without the outside influence of a Little – he simply had a naturally caring nature that led him to developing this specific headspace, but his particular needs as a Caregiver could easily be handled with his responsibilities as their group leader.
However, while in the midst of debuting, Felix was eliminated, and it brought about an intense mental duress that was enough to make him develop a headspace. He tried to hide it at first, and he managed to keep the secret for over half-a-year after they officially debuted before he eventually cracked and collapsed, having grown extremely sickened because of his repressed headspace.
In answer to Felix's distress, it was Jeongin who surprisingly presented as his Caregiver. Everyone obviously expected Chan to take up that role but, against all odds, Jeongin developed a new headspace and ultimately took up the mantle of Felix's Caregiver. It was a little odd at first, definitely awkward too – Felix needed help but didn't dare ask for it, and Jeongin wanted to help, but didn't want to cross any boundaries.
Eventually, with the help of the rest of the members, the pair managed to figure out something that worked for them both and, after a while, they finally established an healthy Caregiver-Little relationship – and, through it all, genuine feelings bloomed and led to them ultimately beginning to date.
(While the general public was aware of their respective headspaces because it wasn't exactly easy to hide, the fact that Felix and Jeongin were dating was still a secret – everyone put their closeness on the fact that Felix was Jeongin's Little.)
It wasn't easy, to be an Idol and a Little. In fact, Felix was pretty much the first one of his generation. It used to affect him a lot, feeling like he wasn't as good as everyone else, but he eventually managed to make his peace with it. In the end, his particular headspace didn't stop him from being an amazing Idol and doing whatever everyone else could do – it was just a matter of simply reminding him, from time to time.
Like today.
"He had a rough day, hm?" mused Chan, gently petting Felix's head. "Pretty much everyone already has plans of going out tomorrow, so you two will have the dorm to yourself for almost the entire day. Make the most of it, alright?"
"Will do. Thank you, hyung."
While Felix regressed fairly often in the presence of the other members, he only ever truly allowed himself to regress as young as he needed to when in the sole presence of his Caregiver. This type of headspace required a lot of trust, after all, and Jeongin was quite proud he'd managed to forge that special bond with his precious boyfriend.
Bidding Chan goodnight, Jeongin then looked down at Felix. He couldn't help but smile, completely endeared by his boyfriend, and he gently kissed Felix's head before closing his eyes and following him in the realm of dreams.
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Getting to collaborate with other groups was definitely a dream come true, though there was no denying Felix felt incredibly shy as they all discussed their plans for the upcoming collab stages. Working so closely with people he wasn't familiar with was definitely stressful, meaning he was much more likely to regress.
Which wouldn't do because there was a lot of work to be done.
Being sorted into the Dance Unit was expected. Having Jeongin with him was a nice surprise, he definitely wasn't going to complain. The song they picked was great, and the choreography they were given was incredible – they were definitely going to rock this stage. However, there was one thing that truly stood out to Felix.
He had a lot of time in the spotlight, so to speak.
Considering they were the biggest unit, the last thing he expected was to be given so many central parts. He was doing the opening, then a very small stunt with a support dancer, then two dance parts with San, in addition to numerous center parts... and, most importantly, he had a big stunt to do with Wooyoung.
To say he was scared would be a dreadful understatement.
"I know we're asking a lot of you, Felix, but you're one of our lightest dancers. Plus, you're experienced with stunts, and you're the only person in this group I trust won't get injured while practicing since you've done this sort of stuff many times before," explained their choreographer.
He wasn't wrong. Felix was naturally agile and light, meaning he was often given the stunts in their usual stages. However, this time around, he wouldn't have any of his usual, trusted group members to catch him should he fall – he was going to be working with people he barely knew, and who barely knew him.
But still, he couldn't back down – not when they had so many expectations to meet.
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"Lixie... How do you feel, sweetheart?"
"I'm scared," he whispered against Jeongin's neck.
His boyfriend hummed, gently petting his head. "What are you scared of?"
"Of messing up. Of disappointing everyone. Of hurting Wooyoung-hyung. Of- of hurting myself, too. I don't- I don't know if I can do it."
He and Jeongin had had a long talk about the stunt, along with Minho – ultimately, they decided to respect Felix's wishes to do it and not to inform Chan and the rest of their members, aware that they would all be greatly against it. After all, it wasn't a secret to anyone that they were quite protective of their Little.
Just Minho had been hard to convince, but Jeongin had been firm: ultimately, this was Felix's decision, and they had no right to stop him from doing what he wanted just because of his headspace. Even if his classification made him a little more vulnerable, it didn't make him any less capable, and Jeongin knew Felix could only get more confidence from succeeding with the stunt.
Felix let out a small whimper, hiding his face in Jeongin's chest when, without warning, none other than Wooyoung walked up to the pair and crouched beside them. Even out of headspace, Felix still felt too shy to properly interact with everyone, but Wooyoung simply smiled when their eyes met.
"Hi, Felix. How do you feel, buddy?"
His voice was gentle, but warm – calming, yet enticing. Felix shrugged in answer, not daring to be completely honest with the older, even if he quite liked him. But Wooyoung's smile simply widened in understanding.
"That's okay. It's normal to be scared of something like that. But you're not doing it alone, right? I'm doing it with you, too. We're going to work through all of the steps and figure this out together, okay? We'll go at your pace and try it as many times as it takes – I'll catch you every time. How does that sound?"
Felix gulped, biting his lower lip. "I... I don't want to hurt you, hyung."
"Aw, you won't hurt me, cutie," cooed Wooyoung, gently rubbing Felix's cheek. "And even if you somehow manage to, I swear I won't be upset with you, alright?" Felix shook his head, unconvinced – he didn't care about Wooyoung being upset, he cared about him hurting. Seemingly catching on, Wooyoung quickly changed tactics. "Alright, in that case, I'll tell you if you actually hurt me, and we'll take a break until I feel better. Does that sound better?"
Felix narrowed his eyes a bit. "Promise to tell me?"
"I promise. And if this really doesn't work, then we'll at least know we've both tried our best, okay? Deal?"
A tad hesitant, still, Felix nodded his head in agreement and finally extricated himself from Jeongin's arms, rising to his feet before taking Wooyoung's extended hand. The older simply grinned reassuringly as he squeezed Felix's hand, and Felix couldn't help but relax – it was kind of hard not to trust a smile like that.
Jeongin watched them leave to start discussing with the other people participating in the stunt, relieved. He wasn't expecting one of the ATEEZ members to take action like this, but it definitely worked out in their favor.
"Wooyoung has a cousin who's a Little, so he's pretty good with them," then said Yeosang, plopping down on the floor next to Jeongin. "You don't need to worry, okay? We'll take good care of him, too."
"I'm not worried," assured Jeongin, genuinely meaning it. "I'm just glad he has more people to rely on, now. He's worried about being a burden for the team because of his headspace, so I'm relieved to know you guys will be looking out for him too, hyung."
Yeosang smiled at that. "Of course. Though, you might still want to keep a close eye on him..."
Jeongin quirked a brow. "Why?"
"Because if you don't, Seonghwa-hyung's probably going to try and snatch him away," sweatdroped the older, glancing at the hyung in question.
Seonghwa looked like he wanted nothing more than to go up to Felix and pull him into a hug and never let go, which was an admittedly amusing sight. Jeongin couldn't help but laugh a little, amused, but also internally smug – Felix was his Little, after all, and he was incredibly proud to be his Caregiver, in addition to being his boyfriend.
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"There you go! Good job, Felix!"
A few tentative jumps were all it took for Felix to gain in confidence and, soon enough, practice was well underway. With Wooyoung's careful instructions and Seonghwa's attentive advice, Felix quickly managed to get the hang of it and, by the end of the first hour, he could already land one jump on two.
And, as promised, Wooyoung was the one who asked for them to stop for the day when his thighs began aching too much – barely even bruising, he could have easily kept going, but he'd promised Felix and so, they called it a day for the stunt practice. Felix felt bad about the very minor injuries, but Wooyoung also earned a lot more of his trust by keeping his word.
Felix could only flush deeply as everyone around praised him for a job well done, shyly thanking them before eventually pushing his way through to return to Jeongin. His boyfriend grinned, opening his arms, and Felix happily rushed to hug him tightly.
"You did wonderful, Lixie," he congratulated. "I knew you could do it."
"There's still a lot of practice left," protested weakly Felix.
"And? You were really brave today, and you did great. From here on out, you can only do better, right? But for today, you've done more than enough."
Felix simply hummed contently, feeling at peace for the first time since they started practice that day as his Jeongin gently rocked him from side to side.
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In the following weeks, Felix grew much closer to the various members of ATEEZ, all of them patiently coaxing him out of his shell and helping him gain more confidence. Jeongin was content with watching the process from the sidelines, unable to shake off the thought that ATEEZ was what Felix needed, right now.
Stray Kids were amazing, and they would go to any sort of length to make Felix happy. However, they were incredibly protective and feared him getting hurt in any sort of way, meaning they were always coddling him and limiting his abilities merely because of his headspace. At first, it was the kind of support Felix needed in order to grow more comfortable with being a Little and accept his headspace. Today, however, what he actually needed was for people to just... believe in him.
(It wasn't to say their group didn't believe in Felix, because they absolutely did, but that didn't stop them from babying him even when out of headspace, which definitely didn't work in Felix's favor anymore.)
Felix needed a more balanced support system, and ATEEZ could give him that. So, Jeongin was quite happy to let them work their magic with Felix.
"Aren't you just a little jealous?" couldn't help but ask Minho with a small pout as he watched Felix playing video games with Yunho and Yeosang further away. "I mean, they're all practically glued to each other."
Jeongin shrugged. "He's making new friends. Plus, they're helping him a lot. No offense, hyung, but Felix needs people who'll see him as more than just a Little."
Minho frowned at that. "We don't see him like that."
"Then why were you so against him doing the stunt in the first place? If you'd been this adamant about it if it was me doing the stunt or any of the others, fine – but truth is, you wouldn't have been because, deep down, you worry too much about Felix's headspace."
"That's..." Minho couldn't really argue with that, and he looked stricken. "But he's our baby. I don't want him to get hurt..."
"And that's okay, hyung. Felix needs people to ground him in his headspace when he slips, and you and everyone else are perfect for it – but what he also needs are people who'll ground him when out of headspace," reasoned Jeongin.
Minho nodded in understanding, glancing back to the trio playing in the corner. San had also joined them, now, and all of them looked like they were having a lot of fun. Most importantly, Felix was the furthest thing away from slipping – anyone unaware of his actual classification would have believed him to a Neutral like the others.
So that's what Jeongin means...
Maybe they were a bit too protective of the sweet Little. He'd have to have a serious talk with Felix later, to figure this out – but for now, Minho was going to take a page out of Jeongin's book and simply encourage Felix's budding friendships. Who knew their sweet maknae had grown so wise?
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The day of the filmed performance came a lot quicker than any of them expected, but they all felt ready. They'd worked hard and, at this point, there wasn't anything they could do more – it was time to go all out. The stage rehearsal went without issues, though Felix refrained from performing the stunt so as to avoid the risk of a last-minute injury, but he felt... strangely confident.
And, when finally came the time for the official stage, he felt ready.
"You're gonna rock it, Lix!" cheered Wooyoung, patting his back.
And Felix did, in fact, rock it.
The performance was a blur – one moment it started, the next it was over. Felix barely had the time to register that it was over, Wooyoung already swooping him off his feet in with a cry of joy and relief. Felix could only laugh, tightly hugging him back – he couldn't have made it without Wooyoung's and everyone else's encouragement and, of course, not without Jeongin's background support.
"Thank you," he whispered in Jeongin's ear as the two hugged tightly. "For believing in me. And- and for giving me the space I needed to spread my wings a bit."
"I've always believed in you, Lix," smiled Jeongin, kissing his forehead. "Now come on, let's go face the music – something tells me Chan-hyung and the others are going to give us an earful for hiding the stunt from them."
Felix grimaced, but he still laughed. In the end, even if being coddled by his members wasn't always the best solution, he wouldn't give up their love for anything in the world.
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I'm pretty sure this is my last AU with age regression in it, so I hope you liked it!