Reviewer: kinalhariya
Review: Olympia: Last Man Standing
Client: _nomercy
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Title and Cover:
Title is enough to grab attention and hook a reader. The words 'Last man Standing' gives out an idea of a battle/competition for life. Good job done here.
Cover seems awesome. It clearly depicts the girl standing in between the chaos. The font and colour used for the title looks attractive too. Title and cover both are capable of giving a glimpse of the story.
Blurb:
There has been an error in the blurb. One para has been left off hanging and then the same lines have been repeated in the next para. It might be a technical error as the summary inside(introduction) does not seem to have the same problem.
The starting dialogue in the blurb gives out an essence of the character. It clearly shows that the main lead has no will left to survive. Good job on that.
Every year, on July 8th, The Selection commences where.... Here I felt that instead of The Selection, it should be 'A Selection' and a comma needs to be placed after the word commences and before where.
Full stop is missing in the next line. (After the word- destruct)
As I said before, there's an error in the next two paras, so look out for that.
The last, completing sentences seems powerful. It can also be written off as- Even if that survival means to kill others for their lives.(It is just my suggestion. You don't have to change it).
Introduction:
Skipping past the copyright and all other words, I will move directly to the extended summary.
First line- For thirteen years, everyone on the planet Earth has feared for their lives....
It can be written as-
For thirteen years, everyone on the Planet Earth has lived fearing for their lives, due to...
I loved how the summary ended- "Welcome to the Last Man Standing!
Let's see how long you last!
These lines give out a powerful effect. It makes it intriguing and grabs the attention of the reader.
Moving forward to the chapters,
Great start. It started from the family relations to the working of the competition without losing the flow. I would say many details were given out that I don't usually expect in first chapter, but it wasn't an info dump. In fact, it increased my curiosity much more than before.
The descriptions are awesome. They are enough to understand what's happening without getting burdened with too much information. It is easy to imagine the scenes while reading.
I like the detailing. It is of perfect balance. Not too much and not too little. Paragraphs are of a proper length. Although I found the chapters a little longer than what I prefer, yet there wasn't a single moment of boredom. So that's a plus.
Third chapter had lots of information based upon the tournament. I am sure, I am going to forget most of it. However, I am glad that it is segregated properly so that I can go to the chapter and verify the element, whenever it gets confusing. I like how this chapter can be used sort of like a glossary yet giving it a feel like a chapter without breaking the flow.
I like the idea of giving the chapters above the name of part one, two, etc and naming the chapters after the round starts. It works well with distinguishing the rounds and stuff.
Characterization is set within the start itself. We can definitely see the enmity between the family and her ex-best friend. I am excited to see how it will be cultivated during the tournament. I like how Olympia's inner battles are shown along with the battles faced during the tournament.
I like the vocabulary used. It is not too simple but it isn't complicated too, which makes it easier for all types of readers to enjoy the book without getting frustrated.
The concept is great and the way it is presented makes it more awesome. The way the story flows, it just makes you want to read more. I guess I have already said it before, but there wasn't a single moment of boredom. Curiosity and interest just keeps rising. Story moves at a steady and smooth pace.
I believe it can also be put under adventure as the genre along with fantasy. As it is an equal balance. Even if we feel something for the character's emotions, the story gets more excitement from the adventure the character has to face.
The story had a few moments that might feel like an info dump to a normal reader but as a blessing to someone who wants to get thoroughly involved in the fantasy world you have created.
Grammatical Errors:
Missing commas(minor), using past continuous tense instead of simple past tense a few times.
Second chapter/part: fifth para- The malicious laughter did not stop, instead, becoming even more...
Correction: The malicious.....instead, became even more..
Third chapter: I am not sure if it is done intentionally, but there are no quotation marks in the chapter even though the rules are being announced and it is not the usual description. The terms of the tournament are being said, so I think it is necessary to put quotation marks at the start and end of dialogue.
Suggestion:
I have found that dash doesn't really work on Wattpad, instead of a single line it shows like this --, and makes it look weird. So try some other alternative instead of using that.
Overall,
This was an interesting as well as a well-written book. Apart from minor errors, it was written brilliantly. I enjoyed reading it thoroughly and there's a greater chance that I will keep reading the book as it gets the new updates.
Thanks for choosing me or else I would have missed such an awesome book. All the best and keep writing!!!