Aria's POV
My head was laid against his chest as he finished his story.
His horrible, sad story.
My hand was resting against his shoulder, and his arms were around me securely. I stayed quiet for a moment, just to make sure he was actually done speaking.
Finally I spoke, "was he the first person you ever killed...?" I asked him quietly. My eyes were cast down, and his chin was resting on top of my head.
"Yes," he said, "he was."
I stayed quiet.
Luckily, he filled the silence.
"I told you that story to help you understand a bit of the reason I do the things I do. Don't get me wrong, I am dangerous and...unstable. However...me enjoying what I do does not take away from the fact that every single one of them deserved what they got."
Wait what?
"You didn't just kill randomly?" I asked him, my voice a bit more even.
He chuckled, the noise vibrating through his chest and into my head.
"No...I didn't. I killed those who truly deserved to die...but I craved the kill. I craved that feeling...I'm not a vigilante by any means...but that man you saw in your dreams," my breath caught, and I immediately saw the horrible image of that man in my head.
His skin...
Every time I think about it I feel sick.
"I caught him raping a woman that night..."
His words floored me immediately.
I pulled back so I could see him, my eyes meeting his. Those red eyes, like lights, glowing in darkness of my room.
"What?" I spoke, and he nodded.
"I told you dear...only those who deserved it. After my mother passed, I wasn't the nicest man...however I didn't intentionally pick on those weaker than me. I left alone those who treated others respectfully."
I can't pin him. His morals are...scrambled. However, suddenly that man having his skin peeled away seemed a bit too kind.
Because I've been on the receiving end of his crime.
I shook my head, laughing softly.
"You're so weird..." I mumbled. Currently I was sitting in front of him, his legs were creating a sort of circle that I was sitting in.
"I'm sorry you had to see that, dear..." he said and I waved my hand dismissively.
"Now that I know that crucial detail, I actually think you were a bit too kind to him...although I still would rather have not seen it..." I said, and Alastor's eyes widened.
His lips parted slightly before he closed them again and just stared down at me.
We sat in silence for a moment, and I absentmindedly picked up his hand. I put it in my lap, tracing my fingers over his knuckles and then his claws.
"Do you think you ever would have started killing if it hadn't been for...?" I didn't finish my sentence, but he understood.
I looked up to meet his eyes again. He was looking at me weird...that weird soft look he's been giving me recently.
When he registered my question he glanced off to the side. He sighed and opened his mouth, but nothing came out.
"I..." he stopped, closing his mouth once again. He blew a sigh from his nose, and shook his head.
"I really don't know...I'm not sure if I was destined to be this monster or..." his words fell off and my grip on his hand tightened.
"I'm not sure if I'd call you a monster..." I said softly and he looked at me, raising an eyebrow.
"Unless you want me to call you a monster...?" I asked him confusedly and he shook his head.
"It's not that, sweetheart...I just don't know how you witness first hand what I've done and have the guts to tell me to my face I'm not a monster," he said, sounding a bit amused.
I scoffed then, but then hissed as one of his claws I'd been mindlessly tracing around sliced my finger.
Immediately Alastor snapped and the lights came on, his expression worried. I was holding my finger, the blood quickly seeping out.
Without speaking he took my hand in his, looking at the cut. I already knew what he was about to do and mentally prepared myself.
He licked the blood that had dripped down my wrist. Next he licked the small cut, and his silava made the wound seal. There was a tiny scar where the cut had previously been.
He sighed, looking down at his claws for a moment.
I had a soft blush on my cheeks from the feeling of his tongue against my skin. Quickly I shook it off, taking his hand in mine once again.
However, he pulled away from me.
I rolled my eyes, "Alastor, look at me," I said firmly and he raised his eyes to meet mine.
They almost immediately fell again.
"Dear, I wasn't even trying to and I hurt you..." he said, sounding frustrated. I lowered my eyelids, then, and pursed my lips.
"Alastor."
His eyes met mine again.
I grabbed his hand firmly with both of mine and picked it up.
"Dear-"
I shot him a hard glare and his lips sealed.
I spread his fingers, and brought his hand to my throat. I made him wrap his fingers around my neck, looking him in the eyes the entire time.
He looked down at me with wide eyes and the ghost of his smile on his face. He looked like he was holding his breath.
I kept my hands on his, and smiled softly up at him.
His claws pressed into my skin, his hand felt warm around my throat.
"Go ahead, if you're such a monster..." I spoke quietly,
He blinked and applied a bit more pressure to my neck with his fingers. I released him, and he kept his hand there.
"what're you waiting for?" I said, keeping my voice at that same quiet, even volume.
The way he was looking at me was intense. His eyes were glowing, and the smile he still wore was off putting.
But I'm not afraid...
"You trust me far too easily..." he responded, matching my tone. He leaned down slightly, getting closer to my face.
As he did that he used the hand around my neck to pull me a bit closer.
"It would only take a second..." he whispered, "and you'd be nothing but a memory, your blood on my hands." There was a subtle growl behind his words.
If he's trying to scare me, it's not working.
I smiled, bringing my hand to his and forcing him to tighten his grip before letting my hand fall back into my lap.
"I'm waiting." was my reply, my eyes never leaving his.
He stared down at me for a moment longer, his eyes narrowed and the color red they were was threatening. Dangerous.
His claws pressed into my skin, I could feel my pulse throbbing against his fingers. He leaned forward a bit more, a low growl rolling through his chest.
His eyes fell shut and he rested his forehead against mine.
He released the pressure on my neck, bringing his hand up to my cheek instead.
"That's what I thought..." I said with a smile, "if you were truly what you think you are...I'd be that memory you were talking about by now."
He pulled back up, his eyes opening. They had returned to a calm red, no longer glowing as deeply.
His smile softened.
"Dear, I don't think you realize how exclusive the touch you're receiving is..." he said, and it was so quiet I barely heard him
I closed my eyes, putting my hand over his and relaxing into his touch.
"You hardly give yourself enough credit," I chuckled, "you know, let me introduce a new way of thinking to you..." I said, pulling away from him and holding his hand in both of mine once again.
I looked up into his eyes and squeezed his fingers gently, "you probably saved so many more lives than you took..." I said softly, "you know that...?"
His eyes widened and he went tense.
"And your mother would be so proud of you..." I said even softer, giving his hand another soft squeeze.
He was still for a moment, a shocked expression on his face. Suddenly, he used his free hand to cover his eyes, his smile wavering.
"Ok, dear, I get it," he said, his voice shaking, "you've proven your point, now please close your eyes, I can't have you see me like this..."
I watched a tear streak down his face from behind his hand and I let my features relax, a smile resting on my lips.
I reached up and removed his hand from his face, and he looked to me with big glossy eyes. He was refusing to blink, knowing what would happen if he did.
"You know, I think it's only fair that you cry a little bit, you know, since you've seen me cry about a million times," I joked and he let out a short laugh.
He blinked, finally, and tears cascaded down his cheeks. I brought my hands up to his face.
With my thumbs I wiped the tears away, smiling softly the entire time.
There's so much more to him than I first thought...
I thought these dreams were showing me a man without a heart...
But maybe...
Just maybe...they're showing me a man with a heart just like mine...
A broken man...
With a broken heart.