Sophie woke up in Levi's arms as always with the same anger hiding inside of her, waiting to come out on the surface. She was usually preventing it from happening by leaving their bed and taking painkillers, drugs or drinking, yet she stopped herself from doing that this morning. She wanted to keep her promise, to not disappoint Levi. She told him that she'll try to limit her dosage. She was going to do exactly that, step by step. For Levi's good. For their relationship's good. For her own good.
She closed her eyes and snuggled more to his chest, rubbing it gently. His naked legs on her naked legs gave her warmth and much needed comfort. She tried to focus on that rather than the impulse in her veins, but as the time was passing she found it harder to ignore. Don't think about it , she told herself and yelped involuntarily, frustrated with that damn struggle she had. Why couldn't she be normal?! She didn't know yet and it was frustrating her.
She gritted her teeth as the sound of his beating heart started making her nervous and not in a good way. She was getting annoyed by it and it was causing her a headache. How could she love this man with all her heart and still be angry at him? Her whole body tensed and she shifted uncomfortably which brought Levi's attention. He was a light sleeper. The truth was - if it wasn't for her he would probably not sleep at all.
He opened his eyes and noticed anger written all over her face, mixing with extreme sadness and scare. She was conflicted. Her body was telling her to act differently than her heart wanted. These two sides were competing for the control of her mind. It was exhausting. "I'm here," he said, catching her attention. She sent him a quick look and averted his eyes right away, shaking her head. He tightened the grip around her body and pulled her closer to his chest. She could smell him, she could hear his steady breathing on her neck. It felt as if it was burning her skin, scorching it so deep that it was hitting her muscles, urging them to push him away and strangle him to death.
"You shouldn't," she yelped while shaking her head rapidly. God, she was in so much pain and he hated it. Yet it was the only way to help her deal with her emotions. They would be damned if she didn't try at all. Yes, it was paid with a lot of stress and nerve-wracking situations like this, but he knew it was absolutely worth it. He infected her with this belief, thus she stayed.
"You're doing great," he whispered, even though he had to hold her even tighter now as she began to squirm in his arms. "Calm down,"
"Easy to say," she growled at him. She dug her nails deep into his skin, but he didn't even flinch.
"How many pills would you take right now?"
"Two or three," she gasped. She was forcing herself to breathe as least as possible. Somehow his scent was only increasing the weird feeling inside of her.
"I'll give you one," he decided. He slowly released her from his hold, hoping that she wouldn't do anything stupid. Indeed, she wanted to jump on him and knock him on the floor as soon as he let her go, but she stopped herself and clenched her hands on the mattress instead. When he got up to find her pills he took a glimpse at the bed and noticed that she ripped some of its material. She was so damn strong now. He never thought that she would be capable of that. Yes, her skills greatly improved since Utgard, but it was all about the precision of her cuts and her suppleness. They didn't notice changes in her strength until now. Another thing for them to observe during her training.
He handed her the pill and she quickly swallowed it, searching with her hand for a glass of water which he already prepared. He watched her from a safe distance, searching her eyes for any sight of change in mood. "Feeling better?" he asked after five minutes when he noticed that her facial features were soothed.
"Yes," she slowly nodded her head and let out a sigh.
"Good enough for me to come?" he asked. He didn't want to force her too much.
"I think so," she smiled slightly and nodded again.
He sat on the bed again and kept the distance between them. He wanted her to initiate physical contact this time. Even though he ached for her touch. He was like a starving man with her, always yearning for the feeling of her plush skin on his own. She grabbed his hand and clasped it with her own, a little harsher than usual, but she wasn't trying to kill him, so it was a good sign. "You're not as limp as usual when you take them," he pointed out.
"Probably because you gave me less than I usually take," she said as she pulled herself closer to him and looked him in the eyes. He was calm as always and it wasn't annoying anymore. Her anger was gone, even though her body was acting well with no side effects. All she felt was love again and the need to kiss him. She linked their lips and slowly lapped with her tongue against his lower lip, making him open his mouth and allow her to explore it. He didn't mind her taking control. All he cared about was her wellness and happiness. He cupped her face and pulled her even closer, sending chills all over her body. Just like that she wanted him again. He wanted her as well. But their sweet moment got interrupted by Connie. He knocked on the door, causing both Sophie and Levi to growl in protest, yet they let him in as soon as they pulled away from each other. It wasn't a secret that they were together, but they didn't want people to watch their moments of closeness.
"What is it?" Levi asked. Connie blushed as he saw Sophie laying in the bed, still in her nightgown. He quickly averted his eyes, embarrassed of himself. "Oi, I'm talking to you brat,"
"S-sorry, I didn't know it was Sophie's room," he mumbled, which caused both Sophie and Levi to raise their eyebrows in amusement. These kids were so pure. "But I was looking for you, captain. Section Commander Hange wanted me to inform you that Eren's about to begin his training," he saluted and quickly retreated from their room.
"My last squad wasn't so fucking oblivious," Levi grunted and Sophie pulled him for one more hug. It was a hard topic and they never actually brought that up.
"Now I wish that Petra didn't decide to transfer to the Garrison," she tried to direct his thoughts to the person that was still alive. He appreciated it, especially since he knew that they didn't get along for the majority of time. He squeezed her hands before he stood up and left their room to see Eren's improvements or lack of them.
﹡﹡✹﹡﹡
They were all gathered at the top of the hill and watching Eren from a safe distance. Levi had his blades prepared just in case something went wrong. Sophie just joined him and Hange after her training. They were trusting her enough to know that she'll be fine doing it on her own. She proved that she was able to control her instincts now and that she was actually training better by herself. "How is he doing?" she asked.
"Better," Hange said.
"But still not good enough," Levi added, which caused both of them to roll their eyes. Of course, he was right, but they didn't want to discourage Eren and cause him to stop trying because of that. A few weeks ago he couldn't even harden his fists and now he was doing that at ease. Sophie felt similar with her training and mood. She couldn't control herself at all and now she didn't attack Levi despite her lack of drug and alcohol usage.
"You're so positive," Hange said sarcastically. "Eren! Let's finish for today," she yelled at him and he nodded before Mikasa approached him and helped him get out of his titan form.
They went back to the cottage they were currently living in and entered the dining room where Historia and Jean already placed food that they prepared. "If you weren't a righteous queen you could be a chef!" Sasha cried out as she put a massive portion of soup into her mouth, causing Levi to look at her with disgust.
"I should consider it since I'm hiding," Historia replied quietly, causing them all to become silent. When she abandoned the mask of Christa she changed completely. She wasn't that sweet, caring girl that Sophie remembered from the expeditions and Utgard. No, she was clearly carrying a heavy burden that was pinning her to the ground along with her thoughts. She reminded Sophie of herself and her own traumas. She didn't even want to think about what kind of things Historia had been through in her life.
"It makes me think that only asshole parents are making it in life. The good ones die too fast," Connie said in a gloomy way. The atmosphere in the table was getting heavier and more uncomfortable with every minute.
"I would like to know that for sure," Sophie said awkwardly and they all glared at her. Only Levi knew how frustrated she was because she didn't get to know her parents. All her grandmother told her about them was that they died in some sleazy underground pub while they were doing errands. She never told Sophie more than that they were good fighters. Nothing personal, almost as if she didn't know them herself. "Anyway, how are you feeling?" she cleared her throat as she turned to Eren to ask her question. The rest quickly picked up on that and changed the subject as well.
"Alright. I'd be better if I controlled the hardening ability completely," he grunted. He was clearly disappointed in himself and Sophie didn't like that. Alas, she wasn't the best person to comfort him as she struggled with the same feeling.
"You'll do it with time,"
"The one thing we don't have much," he chuckled bitterly and blushed when she put her hand on his shoulder and rubbed it gently. It reminded him of all those times that his mother did the same when he was a kid. His eyes began to shine due to tears gathering in the corners of them, but he quickly wiped them off.
"Your job is to learn your powers, not to worry about time. That will be mine, captain's and Hange's problem, alright?" she smiled at him and he nodded after a moment of hesitation.
Levi listened to their conversation and couldn't help but feel even stronger about Sophie. She was perfect. Not only witty, beautiful and skilled, but apparently also good with kids like Eren. It made him wonder for real what it would be like to have a family of his own with her? No, it wasn't the right time to think about it. Just as if the world wanted to confirm it, Nifa rushed inside, catching the attention of all of them.
"Commander sends it," she said as she handed a letter to Levi. He read it quickly and frowned.
"What is it?" Hange asked and the rest of them followed her question, annoying the hell out of him, especially now.
"We need to go. Pack your things and clean the place. We can't leave any traces," Levi said firmly and left the table first. "Government is arresting our whole unit," he explained before he disappeared upstairs. That last sentence made them do the same. Sophie knew that Levi would pack her things too, thus she helped the rest in cleaning. She was used to actions like this way more than these kids. Back in the Underground they were doing plenty of jobs that required them to leave places in a perfect condition, sometimes even better than they originally were.
"Where are we going?" Sasha asked as they were now in the forest, far from their last home. They left it right on time before the Military Police arrived to arrest them.
"To the city. They won't look out for us in the crowd, thinking that we stayed in the woods," Levi explained.
"What if they will?" Armin asked.
"We're prepared for that," Sophie smirked and searched Hange's backpack to take out two wigs that imitated Eren's and Historia's hair. "Moblit bought them before we got here," she explained, calming the kids a bit. They started arguing who was going to pretend to be Eren and Historia, but she didn't listen to it. Instead she focused on a different sound that was coming from the trees, filling her with worry.
"What's going on?" Levi asked, seeing how tense her body was, almost as if it was preparing for the attack.
It's your enemy. Fight it. Kill it, the voice that kept on being silent for a while now talked to her again. She clenched her hand on the blade, ready to take it out at any moment. "I feel like someone's watching us," she said, alarming everyone.
"Look around in pairs. Don't get too far away," Levi instructed them. "We don't have much time,"
Sophie searched the nearby area, but without luck. At one point she had a feeling that the voice was getting louder in one particular place, but as soon as she got close to the tree that her instinct forced her to focus on, the voice started getting quieter again. Soon it got silent completely. "I'm sorry. It seems like I misheard," she mumbled with a clear shame in her voice, but Levi squeezed her hand - his silent way of saying don't worry about it.
"Let's just walk faster," he ordered and they arrived at the town within an hour. They made Jean dress up as Eren and Armin was about to pretend that he was Historia. The rest of them hooded themselves, making their faces unrecognizable for the rest.
Lauda managed to pay for a cart that they used to transport Jean and Armin in to make their role more believable. "Military Police is dumb enough to buy it," Hange laughed as she, Farrah and Moblit headed in the opposite direction. "We're going to deliver news to Erwin and get more instructions," she explained and waved at them before she disappeared among the civilians.
"We're alone now," Sophie said to Levi and he pulled her closer. He didn't want to lose her from his sight. She didn't want it either, yet they both knew that they'll soon have to part their ways. That moment came when a group of people attacked the cart with Jean and Armin inside and Keiji didn't fight them just as they planned. They were determined to follow those kidnappers straight to their lodge and ambush them there.
They kept a safe distance just so the kidnappers couldn't spot them, but they never once lost them from their sight. They followed them to the outskirts of the town where a lot of warehouses were placed. "Kinda reminds me of Ben's and Reginald's," Sophie said and Levi nodded. He thought about that too.
"Though these ones are far too dirty," he grunted. They were waiting on the rooftop for Mikasa who was sent to check all of the exits and count their enemies if possible.
"But probably just as flammable," she said quietly. His eyes went to her ribs involuntarily and he rubbed her back quickly.
"Won't catch ourselves on fire this time," he promised and she nodded. Fire is your friend, the voice spoke again and she frowned in a way that Levi started to recognize. He didn't get a chance to ask her about that because Mikasa came back. There were only five people inside including Jean and Armin. "That gives us three opponents. Mikasa, you can take care of that with Sasha and Connie," he ordered her and she quickly nodded. "We need to help Eren and Historia get out of this town," he said to Sophie and the members of Hange's squad that she left with him.
They left the area and used their ODM gear in the less crowded part of the town to get on the rooftops where they had a perfect view on everything that was happening on the streets. "We need to split," Lauda said and they all agreed. "When kids will join there will be too many of us in one place," he explained, even though they were well aware of that.
"I'll go with Lauda and Keiji," Sophie said. "They have less gas,"
"Alright," Levi nodded and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before they splitted in two different teams.
Sophie would never suggest getting far from Levi if it wasn't needed. Heck, even if it was needed she would definitely refuse if her gut was telling her that it was a bad idea. Since the voice inside her head was quiet ever since the forest situation she decided that it was the right thing to do. Soon she spotted Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie and Sasha coming their way and she smiled, positive that things were going to be alright.
She and Lauda were sitting with Eren and Historia on the cart that was driven by Keiji. She was taking quick glimpses around to make sure that Levi was alright. At first she was doing it every now and then, but as they were going further she started looking at him more often, suddenly filled with worry, the same kind of worry that she experienced back in the forest. Kill the enemy, the voice spoke out of nowhere and she opened her mouth to yell, hoping that Levi would hear her, but she didn't get a chance to do it because she heard a shot close to her. She quickly turned to see a red, growing stain on Keiji's shirt as his face became pale and eyes empty. He laid limply and they heard another shot that hit her arm.
"Hide!" Sophie yelled, ignoring the pain. She wanted to search for Levi, but couldn't do it. Unfortunately she had other things to deal with first. All she could do was hope that Levi was doing better than she was.
She saw how Historia laid limply on the cart and Eren right after her, puzzling both her and Lauda. "Shit, they got shot with a sleeping arrow," Lauda pointed at their necks. "We need to get them out of here-" he didn't get a chance to finish as people that attacked them got on their cart and pointed their guns at them. Sophie reacted quickly, grabbing Lauda's hand and glancing off to the nearby alley. "Fuck, we lost them!" Lauda cried out.
"Kids are chasing them," Sophie gasped, she was nervous. Really nervous as the voice kept on alarming her about the danger. "We would've died there," she tried to reason with him. Just as she said it Lauda noticed her injury. "Gonna take care of that later," she shrugged her shoulders and helped Lauda to stand up.
"Always so tough, completely unnecessary," someone said behind their back and Sophie froze immediately as she heard that voice. Is this just a terrible nightmare? It has to be. Right? Right?! She began to panic, her whole body tensed waiting for a punishment that she was so used to receiving once. "I hoped for a warmer welcome," he clicked his tongue and she felt how he pressed the gun to her back. She exchanged quick looks with Lauda and she noticed how terrified he was. He was in the sight of their enemy which meant that no matter what he would try to do he would be destined to fail. "Turn around," she heard the warning in his voice and she listened immediately. She knew that there were no jokes with this man. He could play with his prey for a long time before actually ending their life, but he was heading that way for sure. First he was ripping the person off their dignity. He could do that for a very long time, she knew it well.
"Hello, Torren," she said. She tried to move her hands very slowly to her pockets, hoping to get to her knife, but unfortunately he wasn't dumb to let her do it. He pressed the gun now to her belly and switched off the safety. "Didn't know that rats like you are allowed aboveground now," she forced herself to make a snarky comment. Only she knew how much it costed her to fight off her fear of speaking up to him.
"Wanted to check how sharp your tongue became," he said with clear amusement in his voice. Beat him up, the voice said. He's nothing against you. She was desperately thinking what to do, but didn't come up with anything possible. Why couldn't this voice help her with that?! "Show me," he ordered her and lifted the gun, nudging her lower lip with that. Was that how she was going to die? No, fight.
She forced herself to make the most obedient look she possibly could to let his guards down, which worked. She pretended that she was going to open her mouth and slowly reached for her weapon. He was too focused on her face to see that. Just as she grabbed the knife Levi landed behind him and pressed his blade to his neck. Sophie let out a sigh of relief as she saw him. He was alright. Covered in blood, but alright. That was all that mattered.
"Don't you fucking dare," Levi growled at him and pressed his blade even closer to his skin, allowing a single bead of blood to flow down his neck. Sophie watched it with satisfaction. This man was about to die and her heart pounded faster to express the joy of realising that. "I wanted to kill you for a long time," Levi said. "You disgusting piece of shit,"
Levi's senses were going insane right now. He wanted to end this fucker's life right there, right now. Yet he knew that someone like him didn't deserve a quick death. He wanted to torture him, make his life a hell on the earth and force him to beg to get killed. He wanted to see him bleed out, his limbs chopped off and everything else that he would come up with. He wished this man pain ever since he met him, ever since he realised that this piece of shit hurt his Sophie. Hurt the most precious creature that was walking on this planet and was blessing his existence with her smile. He couldn't understand how awful a person must be to hurt someone like Torren hurt Sophie.
"Let me do it," Sophie whispered and he nodded, waiting for her to take out the dagger. But just as she was about to shove it into his chest they heard another shot.
"Shit," Levi grunted. He was sure that all the rest of these assholes already left the area. He was terribly wrong.
"Guess till next time," Torren laughed, seeing how they had to retreat and leave him.
"No, let me go back!" Sophie cried out, waving with her dagger, tears flowing down her face and her whole body shaking. Levi's heart was breaking because of that, but he didn't want to let her go.
"I want to kill this fucker too, but I won't be losing you because of that," he said as he tightened his grip around her body, preventing her from slipping down. He only put her down on the ground when they left the area. It took her lots of time to collect herself as she was sobbing and shaking in place. Thankfully Levi was there to hold her the whole time, not caring about the kids watching them. He caressed her hair till she stopped squirming and he only pulled away from her when she stopped crying.
She took a quick look around and noticed that some of them were missing. She knew that Keiji got shot, but what about the rest? "Where's Nifa and Abel?" she asked, even though she already suspected it.
"They're dead. Kenny the reaper took them down," he said. "Seems like we're about to have a big fight,"