Sophie woke up after a few hours. She slept beside his bed, her head on the mattress of his bed and her hand entwined with his own. She smiled seeing his peaceful face, his body so close to her own. He was safe now, away from the fight. His wounds seemed to look better than just a couple of hours ago. That made her sigh with relief.
And just like this she started thinking about their relationship again which forced her to come to the same conclusion as yesterday - he deserved a better treatment for her. Yes, she apologized. Yes, she was now there. But it wasn't enough. She needed to show him that he can rely on her, that from now on she will be there for him like he tried to be there for her, but she deprived him of that. She was awful. She knew that she would never make up for that time when he needed her the most. Yes, she lost Furlan and Isabel. But he lost them as well. Furthermore, he lost her. And he needed her. Why otherwise would he stick around for all those months? Why would he keep on taking care of her from a distance? It must have been annoying. She would break down in his place. And he didn't break down. He was far stronger than her. It wasn't nothing new, but still - the realisation of that hit her hard. She was close to crushing when he was scolding her back in the Underground. She felt weak when he didn't value her.
That thought made her clench her fingers more to his. The sudden need to give him pain again. Need that was growing with every passing second. No. He suffered enough. More than enough. She tried to calm herself down, but her breath kept on getting shorter and heavier. She felt like choking on the air. Within a few seconds his presence became overwhelming to her senses and she let go of his hand so quickly as if his palm was burning her skin. She moved far away, trying to catch a breath. She felt a pressure in her head that kept on nagging her to come back and punch him or worse. She had to stop.
"Sophie" she heard Hange's voice. It helped her focus a little and snap back from those thoughts about Levi. Her jaw tensed when she turned into his and Hange's direction. "How's your back? You hurt yourself pretty bad as I remember" she asked and approached her. She calmed a bit when Hange stood in front of her, hiding Levi from her face. Her scent replaced his and suddenly her breath was more steady.
"I didn't check on it" she admitted, but as she thought of her mutilating she hissed, realising that the pain in her back kept on growing. "But motherfucker" she mumbled, sitting on a chair and massaging the place with her hand which caused another hiss of pain from her mouth.
"Seems like the pill I gave you stopped working. Do you still have spare ones?" she asked and she nodded, taking out the pill from her pocket.
"It's the last one"
"Alright, I'm going to give you a few more for later. I have a feeling that this pain of yours won't vanish so quickly" she said and reached into her bag for a small bottle of pills. Sophie shared that suspicion, but not only about her back pain. She thought this way of Levi as well. But she wouldn't let him know about it. She had to change for the better. She owed him that after wishing him death for so long.
Hange handed the bottle to her and she took it without a hesitation. "Thank you Hange" she smiled at her, showing her gratitude. It was also about time for her to improve her relationship with other Scouts. Yes, she tried to do that those last 6 months, but she still was cold and reserved in all of her interactions. Levi's accident helped her realise that they both needed allies in there in order to make other people care for her in the time of need. Hange seemed like a good person to show to her warmer side. If Sophie had any. She wasn't so sure of that. If she had any warmth inside she wouldn't want to punch Lev in such a state, right?
"Just take them and show me your back" she ordered and Sophie listened. She swallowed one pill and pulled her shirt up enough for Hange to examine it. "It's just bruised," she said after a thorough check. "Terribly bruised, but it will be alright within days. Week at most" she said and Sophie sighed with relief. "I can give you an ointment for that if you want"
"It would be nice, thank you" Sophie pulled her shirt down and Hange went to one of the cupboards with medical equipment. She started searching for it, leaving Sophie in silence. Soon, she felt how the pain in her back started soothing, becoming more tolerable until it was gone completely. She knew it was just a temporary effect, but she was going to enjoy it anyway.
"Got it!" Hange finally said, waving at her with a jar full of sticky content. She came back to her and handed her that. "I would gladly smear it on your back, but I have to go check people in other rooms as well" she explained. "I see that only you and Levi are left in here"
That statement made Sophie look around. Indeed, they were the only ones left inside. When did the rest go away? Were they healed or there was nothing that the medics could do to help them? Was she sleeping in the room full of dead people and she didn't even notice? Just the thought of it could make her sick.
"Don't worry. They were all released. Broken bones, that's all" she calmed her down and Sophie nodded, but that made her think about something else. "They didn't release Levi yet because you didn't let go of him. But he's good to go when he'll wake up" she said as if she was reading her mind.
Those words made Sophie blush. She wanted to look at Levi again, but was scared that she would feel that terrible need to hurt him again. She thought she let go of those awful instincts and yet it was hiding around the corner, waiting for a moment to attack. Or was she just tired? She forced herself to look at him with her heart pounding fast in anxiety and much to both her surprise and relief she felt peace looking at him. Those terrible thoughts vanished again. It was making her head numb. How was it possible? Was her mind fooling her? It certainly felt like this, but she wasn't going to care for that yet. All she wanted to focus on was him. The only person that she had in her life. The person that saw her worse and still stuck around, waiting for her to come to her senses. And those senses were unstable. No, she can't even acknowledge her hesitation.
"I didn't know you were talking again" Hange snapped her back to reality with her words. She wanted to look at her, but found herself unable to do it. She was glaring at Levi, watching how his chest was moving up and down with every breath he took. So peaceful and vulnerable, completely different than usually. Something about that image was making her weak for him. Weak and yet powerful - in position to take care of him.
"We weren't, but..." she struggled with finding the right words.
"He got hurt and you got scared?" Hange prompted and she nodded, biting her lip.
"It was terrible," she admitted quietly.
"Well, I'm glad that you found a way to each other's arms again" she smiled wide-open at her.
"We're not" Sophie quickly shook her head, looking at her with clear embarrassment. "We're friends"
"Yes, that's what I meant" she replied, chuckling which caused Sophie to blush. Hange lied though. She really thought that these two were once lovers at some point. She seemed to hate him with such passion and then care about him with the same amount of energy that it was obvious for her. She was really surprised to find out that she was wrong about the nature of their relationship. Normally, she would have teased about it, but she saw how awkward Sophie was and she didn't want to ruin the moment of reconciliation for them, thus she stuck to her lie. "Arms in a friendly way" she added to clean the air and she saw how Sophie relaxed a bit. "Anyway, I have to go. Say hi to him from me" she waved at her before leaving the room.
As soon as she left she joined his side. She hesitated to took his hand after that short moment of anger and Hange's words, but decided to fuck all the cons. She was there for him and she would always be from now on. She didn't know how much time had passed when he finally opened his eyes and looked at her.
At first he thought it was a dream. Maybe he still had a fever? Maybe her staying with him, their conversation was just the product of his imagination? Maybe that fever made him delirious. No, it didn't. She was there and her whole face smiled when she caught his eyes. He managed to smile as well and she almost blushed seeing how happy he was to see her beside him. He realised that she was holding his hand and he moved on bed a bit, awkwardly. He wasn't used to being touched at all. He didn't know how to react now that his fever was completely gone. Did it mean something to her? It meant for him. He wanted to squeeze her hand more and pull her closer, to catch her lips into his own and have a taste of her. But he couldn't.
I want to be the friend that you deserve, Levi - her words echoed in his head making him happy, but it was a bittersweet happiness. He wanted more and he couldn't admit it. Not now. Maybe not ever. He had to enjoy the fact that she finally let him be close. He won't ruin it with any act of selfishness.
"Hange said you're good to go" those were the first words she uttered. Her voice sounded sweet and innocent. He wasn't used to hearing that tone.
"Hange's a nurse now?" he rolled his eyes. He realised what he did just a second after. He wanted to smack his head with his good hand for his own stupidness. She just started talking with him and his first words were grumbles? How stupid was he?
Much to his surprise she giggled in response and shook her head. Yes, she didn't mind him being grumpy towards other people as long as his bitterness wasn't directed at her. But that was way before Furlan and Isabel's deaths. Hearing her react like this helped him relax. It seemed as if she was still the same person she used to be before they went above the ground. "She's good with medical stuff so it seems" she chuckled in response and brushed his palm with her fingers, making his heart flutter.
"Fine, then let's go" he said and reached for his shirt. He frowned seeing it being dirty and he looked at her clothes as well, with the same expression. "You stayed here the whole time?" he asked, not really believing it. She nodded. "We need to wash our clothes"
"Still a clean freak?" she asked and he rolled his eyes again. It was so easy to start acting friendly with her. It almost felt unreal for both of them, but they didn't want to think too much about it. They had to catch up, for all those lost months.
"It's a good habit" he grunted and put the shirt on, putting a displeased look on his face. "Let's go before the dirt will stick to us"
"You can always take a shower" she pointed out and in that moment he was glad that she was walking behind him and couldn't see his face being red. He thought of taking shower with her. Stupid fucking idiot. He shouldn't have thought of it. He should stop his imagination, prevent his desires from getting more explicit.
"I will. I recommend it to you as well"
"Of course" she almost rolled her eyes and joined his side as they walked out of the hospital wing.
"Where are we?" he asked. He didn't recognize the hallway, it was differently deployed and the paintings in the frames weren't the same. Suddenly she realised that he was barely conscious for the whole ride there.
"We're settled in Wall Rose for now. We're in Trost's district. At least that's what I've heard from other soldiers" she explained and he nodded, acknowledging her words. Just in that moment she realised that she didn't even know where her bedroom was. She didn't think of asking about it earlier.
"Where are our bedrooms?" he asked, just as if he was reading in her mind.
"Ugh, I don't know" she almost blushed saying it, already sensing Levi's reaction.
"What do you mean you don't know ?" he asked. "You should've checked it" he said it in his usual tone which angered her like it always used to in the Underground.
"Sorry for being with you" she huffed, crossing arms on her chest, giving him a challenging look. Suddenly they were standing there staring at each other angrily. Just like they used to. Wasting their time on stupid fights. They both realised it and the look in their eyes changed to more awkward ones.
"Never mind" he was the first to let it go. "I would do the same," he admitted.
"If I would let you" she whispered, the corners of her lips trembling as she was too ashamed to brush it off with a smile. She averted his eyes, once again feeling close to crying, thinking about all those months of her terrible thoughts.
"Oi, it doesn't matter now" he quickly said, walking closer and urging her to look at him again. His hand once again on her chin, her heart fluttering and her eyes entirely focused on him. "Don't regret stuff and look to the future, alright?" he said, using more or less Erwin's words that he directed at him when Furlan and Isabel died.
She forced a smile, hearing those words. "You're playing Erwin now?" she teased and he smirked, rolling his eyes. She never saw him so playful before. It made her hug him. He was surprised at first, not knowing what he should do. But as she wrapped her hands around his waist, he placed his hands on her back involuntarily, pulling her closer and getting drunk on her scent. He always wondered how she would smell and now he knew - it was sweet and fruity, completely intoxicating. And she felt similar as his scent got to her nostrils - the smell of tea leaves and soap. "I'm sorry" she mumbled into his chest.
"It's alright, Soph" he said. He wanted to pull her even closer, but she stopped their hug and moved away.
"Let's find out where we are sleeping, shall we?" she proposed and he nodded, agreeing on that. They searched the corridor for other people and they finally came across Erwin. He almost didn't see them as he was deep into his thoughts, looking at the piles of paper that he was handling. "Erwin" she called for him and he raised his head immediately. He was surprised to see these two together, so in peace. Was it because of their injuries? Did they reconcile on their hospital beds? It was possible. He saw a lot of things like that in a few years since he joined the Survey Corps. It was a common thing to see people make up after a near-death experience.
"Glad to see you two" he smiled at them slightly, even though his words were only partially honest. He was happy because being at peace meant that he didn't have to pay much attention to their case any longer. They were good on their own now, not requiring his help. Due to that he could focus entirely on his work and improving the unit. But there was a small part of him that felt discontent about it, a part that he couldn't understand yet. Was it him longing for more interactions with them or was it him enjoying being manipulative? He couldn't tell yet and he didn't have time to think about it for now. "Do you need something?" he asked.
"Yes, actually. We need to know where are our bedrooms" she said.
"Person responsible for accomodation is in the room at the end of the hallway. She will know" he instructed them. "Is that all?"
"Yes"
"No" Levi said and she almost rolled her eyes, but stopped herself and listened to his question. "How long are we going to stay here?"
"Seems like for long" Erwin responded bluntly, surprising them. "I'm going to the Walls to make reports. We should have a briefing tomorrow, so I'll tell you more then. Make use of this day, try recovering guys" he said and without further amenities he left the hallway and headed outside to the horse stable.
Levi and Sophie stood there in silence for a few minutes, processing through Erwin's words before they said something again. "So...a shower now?" Sophie asked.
"Yes," he nodded. "And then washing clothes?"
"Yes" she nodded as well, smiling slightly. "And then..." she wanted to say sleep , but words stuck in her throat as she really wanted to propose to him spending time together. Luckily she didn't have to say that.
"Then we can spend some time together?" he asked awkwardly. "You know...catch up?"
"Seems like a plan" she agreed and he smiled as well.