I hope you enioyyyy!!!
••••••••
Five hours of packing had gone by in a flash. And that was surprising since Giorgi and I had hardly spoken while we packed. I'd imagined our mutual silence would have made the five hours feel like five years or something, but it was more like we'd started, and five minutes later we had finished.
Giorgi had worn a frown the entire time and it was obvious that he was tired, stressing, and overthinking some things. The only reason I could tell he was overthinking was he kept lifting a shirt or some kind of piece of my clothing every so often and would caress it between his fingertips or stare it for a while. And it was only with my clothe's.
I figured that he was overthinking the way I suggested we had sex before packing to take his mind off of things. Perhaps, I'd only chalked that up to be his main focus because it was mine, though. I couldn't stop grieving and feeling guilty for saying such a thing. It was so rude of me to do!
I suggested sex instead of a genuine conversation. What kind of boyfriend was I?! Apparently, I was the one that only liked Giorgi for what was inside his pants. Ugh! That wasn't true, and I never meant to make it seem like that! I thought he would like that! A good distraction, is what I'd hoped he would've thought of it.
My fiancé was lying down in bed now—as he had been since we finished packing an hour ago. His phone was off, face-up on our dresser across from our bed, along with his necklaces, and every other ring he wore except for my engagement one. My heart throbbed as I glanced over to him and watched him rest for a moment; I'd then tip-toed over to our closet and grabbed a coat, slipping it over my arms. As quietly as I could, I grabbed my keys, walked over to our bed, kissed my fiancé's neck and lower nape, and then headed over towards our bedroom door.
"You're leaving? It's 11 o'clock."
I froze at the wooden surface, my hand barely on the knob; I thought my fiancé had already fallen asleep. "I'm..."
Should I tell him I'm walking Corgi? Tch. What am I thinking? He knows I'm afraid of walking outside in the dark. Besides, there's no reason to lie to him.
"I'm going to talk to Professor Davis..." I told my fiancé. When he said nothing and remained silent, I turned to face him and frowned when I saw him wearing a grim expression.
"You're going to talk to him about what?"
"Me," I said honestly.
Giorgi shrugged and rubbed his face. "What about you? Y-you, you think you're a psychopath or whatever? You want him to confirm or deny that, or something? What...?"
No... I don't know... I returned a shrug and moved a bit of my hair out of my eyes and tucked it behind my ear. Since my hair wasn't really long enough for that, it fell right back in front of my gaze. "I'm just confused about some stuff, Gi-Gi..."
My fiancé sighed and pulled the covers off of his legs before getting out of our bed, and opening the door for me. I reluctantly stepped out of our bedroom and felt even more confused when Giorgi had walked with me into the living room before taking a seat on the large couch.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"I'll wait to sleep with you. You're going out late, so I want to be awake to see you come back safely and soundly. Even if it's 3 or 4 in the morning. Just be safe, Cameron."
"I will, I promise," I swore, lifting and kissing Giorgi's hand. His eyebrows furrowed as he grabbed my chin, and he kissed my lips a certain way. Slow, passionate, hard and reluctant to pull away... Was that sass? Was he commanding me with that kiss or just being stern?
"Keep that promise," he said strictly. "Come back soon, please."
I nodded and kissed my fiancé one more time before leaving.
***
"You're already here?" I questioned upon walking over to my psychology professor; it seemed like he had been leaning against the brick wall of the cafe we agreed to meet at for a while.
"Well, I was staying late at the school, so it was a quick drive," he said with a shrug, taking some kind of smoking stick from his mouth. It wasn't a cigarette. It didn't smell like one. It had a different must to it... Not as terrible or invasive as tobacco but still pretty bad and invading. Suddenly, Professor Davis had moved the mysterious smoking stick towards me, as if he wanted me to take it. "It's weed," he said simply.
My arms tingled as goosebumps riddled them and my face burned up. Weed...? Like in edibles...? "N-no, thank you," I tittered, trying to shake the bad memories that slowly creeped up in the back of my mind.
"No? Have you ever tried it? Marijuana in general, I mean," my professor asked, taking a long, slow drag from his blunt.
I didn't answer him. I was too busy trying to force the terrible memories away. But it felt like the more I fought them, the more vivid they became.
"Just try it. My dad bakes all the time and he makes too many. Why won't you just try it..."
I rubbed my forehead with my knuckles and shook my cranium, hoping the thoughts would fall apart or scatter like a tower built of cards. I'd forgotten all about that... The reason I began isolating myself from people... Because of my first friend...
"Bad experience?" Professor Davis chalked up. "What happened?"
"My... My first friend tricked me... We were friends for a few months when middle school first started, and he was always really nice to me, you know. He slept over at my house once and he always hung out with me at lunch, but one day he brought me these little cakes and cookies that his dad baked and he was acting really different. He was meaner...he went and gathered up this group of people and he kept pushing the little cakes and stuff onto me until I finally agreed to try a piece...."
I gripped my hands, interlacing my fingers and squeezing tight as they trembled violently.
"He pressured me to eat it all, and ten minutes into lunch, I—" Well, I don't know what really happened. I only heard people talking about it in the halls... But I remember being in so much pain after that...
I tucked my shaking hands into my pockets when I realized that my squeezing them was useless.
"Rumors say I tried to run to the nurse but I fell, hit my head on a table, then the floor, and I kept having on-and-off seizures until paramedics came... A lot of people said I'd peed myself and wouldn't stop screaming between my seizures...." I remembered.
"What was his name?"
I shrugged. "I don't know..."
"You don't know?" Professor Davis inquired, lifting my chin with his knuckles. "Or you don't want to remember?"
"Well... Could you blame me if it was both," I mumbled, turning away from my teacher's touch.
"Think about it," Professor Davis said before taking another drag from his blunt. "Don't forget it again if and when you remember his name. You should try to reach closure with this situation soon... I think you'd do well smoking a bit."
"Why's that?"
"Marijuana—when used correctly—can be a great relaxant. Edibles aren't my kind of thing, and it's because I actually saw a close friend have a bad experience with it when I was younger, but smoking weed really mellows me out and calms my nerves. I used to smoke everyday before class, you know."
"I didn't know that... Does that mean you hardly smoke nowadays?"
"Well, I still smoke a lot whenever Cooper calls me, and tonight because...a lot of personal issues worked me up... But I haven't felt the urge to smoke before teaching much anymore because I've felt more at peace with you in my class, Cameron."
"Wh... You shouldn't say things like that..."
"My confessions and feelings for you aren't romantic, Omartian," my teacher chuckled. "I just mean that because I couldn't save you from Cooper back then, knowing and seeing that you're safe everyday now...it makes me feel better. Seeing you smile, laugh or even frown in my classroom makes me happy."
My cheeks and ears burned hot and I looked down at my feet, not knowing what to say. My professor laughed a deep, low chuckle before pinching the flame off his blunt and tucking it away. "Let's go inside. This chilly night weather isn't helping your trembling at all, is it?"
He pulled open the door and let me inside first, and I shuddered when the cafe's warmth had immediately enveloped me. Professor Davis had tittered another small, low laugh and guided me over to a booth.
"I'm sorry, by the way... I didn't mean to trigger any horrible memories. I do sincerely apologize for doing that, Cameron," he said softly.
I shook my head and grinned a small smile. "No biggie."
My teacher frowned at me and grabbed my hands, pressing his thumbs into my wrists. "No biggie? Your heart won't stop racing..."
I slowly pulled my limbs back and chuckled: "Giorgi's always saying me and jackrabbits have a lot in common, haha..." Why did I say that?! Giorgi only ever says that in the bedroom! Ugh!
"Oh?" My Professor hummed. "You and Giorgi are quite the couple of lovebirds."
"Yeah," I mumbled.
"There's never a day that you guys aren't happy together. It's cute," he said as a waiter brought over two cups of tea. "Thank you, dear."
I assumed my psychology teacher hadn't looked at the waiter at all to see who they were, because the young ginger-haired man had burned red all over and scurried away after being called "dear."
"He's an adorable tease. He's new; just started last week," the professor had said quietly before sipping his hot beverage. "Anywho, what's motivated you to come out and talk with me tonight?"
"Mm," I hummed as I took a sip of the black tea in front of me. "Well, to be blunt, I think I'm the cause of Giorgi's unhappiness nowadays... I-I think he's becoming depressed, and I think I'm at fault for it... And I just wanted some help on how I could maybe make things a little better for him or...or something."
"Well, why do you think he's becoming depressed, and why are you at fault for it?"
"Well, he's been upset ever since we first heard about the chance that Cooper might get out early... And, I know it's not really an excuse...but since Giorgi hardly ever gets upset over anything like this—like to this level that he thinks about it so much....I didn't know what else to offer besides..." I paused. Granted the professor hadn't ever shown signs of disgust or disliking towards my and Giorgi's relationship, I didn't know if he'd feel comfortable talking about gay—
"Sex? Helping hand? Blow-job? What?"
"Sex," I confirmed, my face burning up quickly. "He was upset over something out of his control, and so I offered to give him his control back by...having sex with me, but he felt offended that I'd suggested that and thought that I meant he take control of me in the way that Cooper did. But I didn't mean that... I just wanted him to feel that he had control over me in the sense that...like, I was still his and Cooper couldn't ever achieve me in the way that Giorgi has me....or, or something! Urgh," I sighed and buried my face into my palms. "Professor, I felt so bad after that... I hadn't even thought to suggest having a genuine, heart-to-heart conversation about this early-release situation with him. I just thought: 'oh, sex makes him feel better,' and now I feel like he sees me as some perverted idiot of a fiancé that only wants him for sex."
"Do you only want him for sex?"
"No! I love everything about Giorgi! Especially how sensitive and emotional he can be! I just... I fucked up and don't know how to fix it," I groaned. "I thought that he'd like it if I took his mind off of what was stressing him out, but he said that it's okay for him to feel upset sometimes, and even though he appreciates me trying to prevent his unhappiness, it's okay every now and again if he's angry or something."
My professor smiled at me and leaned against his fist that he'd propped up on the table. "Giorgi's right. You don't always have to try to prevent his unhappiness. And I doubt he thinks you just want him for sex. He knows you love him wholeheartedly. I think he's just in a bad mood, and will be in one for a little while. I mean, he's been treated pretty unfairly for a while, right? What with his thought-to-be best friend killing off his friends at all young ages, kidnapping and abusing you just as you two were getting closer, his ex-girlfriend crashing into his neighbor's house, that Kinland girl accusing him of horrible crimes, and that Gill...he was one of my students. I heard him talking to someone about a fight with you. But when I saw you come in with this cast and Giorgi with a few bruises, I pieced together that that fight was between those two about you..."
"I'm the reason for all of that. It's all been about me, Profe—"
"Please," my teacher scoffed. "Come on, Cameron. You get the highest scores on exams. Don't act so foolish now."
"But—"
"You really think you're the reason Cooper killed his sister or Marcus? You didn't know about each other back then! You think Giorgi's ex crashed into a house because of you? She'd have done that if he got with another man or woman—it doesn't matter that it was you. That Tammy girl, her obsession with you wasn't your fault. Her lack of conscious, socialization, and a generally healthy mindset was on her and whoever raised her! And Gill was his own problem! That boy was always angry, it's just that you were dealt the unlucky card and faced his wrath in the worst way... Cameron, pull yourself out of the slumps and realize that you're one of the greatest things that's happened to Giorgi. You may not be able to see it as well as I do, but you've ripped that man out of his depressive state, and you've made him smile more within months of becoming his friend than any of those other phony friends of his have in years—and that's both my observation and Cooper's!"
My eyes welled up as my professor scolded me for being so stupid, and I couldn't help but blush and feel grateful towards the gorgeous man in front of me for making me realize how lucky Giorgi and I both were to have each other.
With a heavy sigh, he lifted his teacup and sipped from it. "And quit calling me Professor Davis. My name's Bryan. If you're not comfortable using my first name or whatever, my middle name is Amani."
"Am...Amani..." I mumbled. "That's such a pretty name."
"It was my grandmother's. It's of Swahili origin. Means "peaceful"... Please use it. I hate that 'Professor Davis' bullshit. Especially when it comes from you. Hurts my feelings..."
"Wh—? Does it really? How?" I asked, incapable of holding back a small chuckle.
"Don't laugh at me," the beautiful man tittered. "I like to think of us as good friends, Cameron. Whenever you refer to me as 'Professor' it feels like that's all you think of me. That I'm just another teacher you have to see and talk to because of my authoritative position over you... Or, is that truly the case?"
"No! I think we're more than teacher and student, of course! I just don't want to be disrespectful and call you anything other than what you tell everyone else to call you."
"Well, stop worrying about that. You're only allowed to call me by first or middle name from now on. I'll feel disrespected if you call me Professor again."
I laughed a bit and nodded. "Okay, then. I'll only call you—"
"No. Not even in class."
"Wha—?! But my classmates already think we're flirting with each other! I can't call you by your first or middle name in there! Everybody spreads so many rumors—even though we're in college! What if you get in trouble?!"
"I won't get in trouble."
"You don't know that."
"What could I get in trouble for? Having a few one-on-one conversations with a student?"
"That, and going out to a cafe late at night with a student."
"What about it?"
"It looks like we're on a date."
"How so? I've not brought any flowers nor chocolate. No jewelry box or anything with a bow attached."
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "I really don't think I should refer to you as anything else other than my teacher in class....Amani."
The gorgeous man ran his hands over his dreads with a slow, steady sigh through his nostrils. I glanced at his large biceps that seemed like they were about to bust out of his tight long sleeves, and I blushed when I'd imagined Giorgi's strong arms and how tight they'd held me throughout the night. The imagination of our cuddles had drawn a yawn out of my throat and motivated me to check the time on the clock above the cafe's exit. "Twelve forty? It's only felt like a few minutes that I've been here," I said under my breath.
"Yes, we've been talking for a while... Oh! Before we sort ways, have you and Giorgi decided to go anywhere yet?"
"Yeah! We're actually going to go to—"
"PSH-SHUSH!" Amani hushed me frantically, holding a hand up. "Don't tell anyone where you're going. Don't say anything to anyone about when, either. Only when you return should you tell where you went... Okay?"
I nodded and returned an "okay." My psychology teacher smiled warmly at me and then decided it was time we left the cafe. Kindly, he walked me to my car, wished me a good night, and waved me bye as I headed home.
Upon arriving at my and Giorgi's house, I quietly rushed in, kicked off my shoes, dropped my jacket, and crawled into my drowsy boyfriend's lap as he sat on the sectional with Corgi by his side.
"I'm sorry I took long," I whispered, petting his hair back. "And I'm sorry I said that earlier, about giving you your control back. I didn't mean to say it like that, but—"
"Shhh... I was hoping you wouldn't think about that so much... I'm sorry I responded the way I did. I wasn't trying to make you feel bad at all. I just put myself in a bad mood and, like a dickhead, I threw it in your face. That's it."
"Still, I could've done better. I swear I will," I promised. "I love you, Gi-Gi."
"I'll do better, too. I love you, Cam."
"Let's go to sleep now."
"Okay... Carry me, baby. I'm too tired to walk."
"Oh~, hoho! We wish, huh," I chuckled, pulling my fiancé off of the couch and towards our bedroom.
"I really wish..." he chuckled. "Once you're able to carry me, I'll never stop asking for rides and lifts everywhere."
With a few more giggles between us, the night had come to a silent end, with Giorgi's large arms wrapped around my smaller body, holding me close to him while I slept on his chest the entire night.
••••••••
I hope you enjoyedddd!!!