"But I don't wanna go to second grade," Meg whined as she stared up at Meredith, tears filling her eyes.
Meredith smiled softly as she crouched down in front of Meg, taking her tiny hands in hers. "Why not?" she asked.
"Cause I like first grade," Meg sighed. "And you're the bestest teacher ever."
"Well, I am very flattered," Meredith smiled. "But I have a secret for you."
"You do?" Meg asked, her eyes lighting up slightly.
"Mmmmhmmm," Meredith nodded. "Mrs. Carter is an even better teacher than I am."
Meg sniffled slightly. "She is?" she asked.
"Oh, definitely," Meredith nodded. "And in her class, you'll have a pet hamster. How cool is that?"
"Will I get to feed him?" Meg asked.
"I think she'll want you to feed him," Meredith nodded.
"Wow," Meg breathed. "When does second grade start?"
"In a couple months," Meredith smiled softly.
Meg leaned forward to hug Meredith tightly. "You really are the bestest teacher, Miss Grey," she said. "I wish I could still see you every day."
Meredith squeezed her eyes closed as she hugged the little girl back. "Me too, sweetie," she whispered. This would have been the day. If she and Derek hadn't ended things six months ago, she'd be able to tell Meg that she'd one day be Aunt Meredith instead of Miss Grey.
"Come on, Meg," Kathleen said softly from behind them. "We've got to get to Uncle Derek's graduation."
Meredith smiled softly as she stood, watching Meg run to get her backpack. "Hi," she said softly to Kathleen.
"Hi," Kathleen smiled politely.
"So Derek's graduating today?"
"Number one in his class," Kathleen nodded. "His internship is all set at Grace for August."
Meredith smiled. "That's great," she said. "Tell him congratulations for me."
Kathleen nodded slowly. "I will," she said. "Meg, come on, we're going to be late."
"Bye Miss Grey," Meg sighed, wrapping her arms tightly around Meredith's waist one last time.
"Bye sweetie," Meredith smiled. "Have a good summer."
She sighed as she watched Kathleen take her daughter's hand and lead her out of the school. She was leaving for Europe in two days, a trip that Derek had given her, and she was going with another man. Another man who was completely amazing and perfect, but he wasn't Derek.
"Hey, Mer," Andrew smiled as he stepped into the room. "You ready to go?"
"Go?" Meredith repeated.
"I promised you we'd go shopping for last minute stuff," Andrew said. "For the trip."
"Right," Meredith nodded, shaking her head as she reached for her bag. "I um, yes, yes, we'll go shopping."
"You okay?" Andrew asked.
"Fine," she nodded. "I just get emotional. You know, last day of school, saying good bye to my students. It's hard for me."
Andrew smiled sympathetically. "I know," he said. "But you'll have a whole new set of students to spoil in the fall."
"You're right," she nodded. "But I actually just remembered...I have to help Izzie pack up the preschool for the summer this afternoon. Do you think I can take a raincheck?"
"We leave in two days, Mer," Andrew frowned.
"I know," she smiled, kissing his cheek quickly. "But I promised Izzie. We'll go first thing tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay," Andrew sighed.
"I'll call you later," Meredith smiled softly. She walked quickly out of the school, making her way back to the house where she found Lexie in the kitchen, in front of the blender.
"Hey Mer," she said. "I just finished my last final. I'm making margaritas to celebrate, you want some?"
"Give me that," Meredith rolled her eyes. "You're nineteen."
"Like you weren't getting drunk when you were eighteen," Lexie frowned as she watched Meredith down the drink. "Whoa, what's going on?"
"Derek's graduating today," Meredith whispered.
"I know," Lexie nodded. "Or I don't, but I figured it would be soon."
"Derek's graduating," Meredith repeated. "And I was supposed to be there. I was supposed to be there, and then we were supposed to go to Europe and have lots of sex and be happy."
"But you broke up with him," Lexie said softly. "And you have Andrew. You'll go to Europe with Andrew and have lots of sex and be happy with him."
"Trust me," Meredith shook her head, reaching for the tequila bottle. "Sex with Andrew will not make me happy."
Lexie frowned. "So why are you with him?"
"I'm not a whore, Lexie," Meredith sighed. "It's not just about sex. He's amazing. And he loves me."
"You sound like you're trying to convince yourself."
"I...I'm not sure if I can go to Europe with him," Meredith whispered. "That's big. And I don't think I'm ready for big with Andrew."
Lexie was silent for a moment before she asked, "If you can't do big with him, then why are you dating him?"
"I..." Meredith stared down into the tequila for a moment before she snapped her head up. "I have to go."
"Meredith, you just drank two margaritas and like, half a bottle of tequila," Lexie said. "You're not driving."
"She doesn't need to drive," a voice came from the doorway. "I know what she needs to do."
Lexie and Meredith both turned to see Andrew standing in the doorway to the kitchen, a sad smile on his face. "Hi, Mer."
"I'm just going to...laundry!" Lexie cried. "I'll do laundry." She scurried past Meredith into the laundry room, leaving the door open a crack.
"What are you doing here?" Meredith asked softly.
"I thought I'd make you dinner while you and Izzie were closing up the preschool," Andrew said softly. "But it looks like I'm the one who got the surprise."
"Andrew," Meredith sighed, tears building in her eyes as she sat down at the table. "I'm sorry. I really am. Because I've tried really hard to convince myself that you're the one. I just...I guess I'm finally realizing that it can't happen."
Andrew smiled softly. "I should have realized that a long time ago," he nodded. "I hung onto you because you're so amazing and I thought that maybe, somehow, you'd come around and I could be the man that makes you happy."
"I wish you were," Meredith whispered. "I really wish you were."
"But I'm not," Andrew shook his head. "It's okay, Meredith, really. I've been kidding myself for a month now. Ever since...well, that night, I've known that you're still in love with Derek."
"I am," Meredith whispered. "I don't want to be, but I am."
"You want to be," Andrew nodded. "Look, Meredith, you may not love me in the way that I love you. But I do know you. You scare easy. And your feelings for Derek scare you. But you can't run from him. You've been running from him trying to be with me and you've been miserable."
"I haven't been miserable," Meredith shook her head. "You really are a great guy, Andrew. For Izzie. Or Lexie. I just can't imagine myself with Derek."
"Finally," Lexie groaned from the laundry closet and Meredith rolled her eyes. "Ignore her."
"You should go to him," Andrew said.
"I can't," she whispered, fingering the place mat on the table. "He has a girlfriend."
"No he doesn't!" Lexie burst out of the laundry room.
"Lexie!" Meredith frowned. "Can you please just mind your own business for once in your life?"
"No," Lexie shook her head. "I just can't let you not do this. Derek doesn't have a girlfriend."
"Lexie, I met her," Meredith rolled her eyes. "And I'm kind of in the middle of something here."
"I'm leaving," Andrew smiled softly. "I had fun, Mer. Even if you were completely in love with someone else, I had fun with you. And I hope you can be happy."
"Thanks," Meredith smiled softly. "I really am sorry."
"Just be happy," Andrew replied, leaning forward to kiss her softly. "That's all I want for you."
"I...Derek makes me happy," Meredith said softly. "He'll make me happy."
"Good," Andrew smiled before he turned to walk out the door.
"Okay, we have to go," Lexie giggled, reaching for the car keys. "Come on, come on."
"Where?"
"To graduation," Lexie cried, grabbing Meredith's hand. "You're going to show up just as they're calling his name. And as he's accepting his diploma, he'll see you and run off the stage to pull you into his arms and give you the most romantic kiss ever. And the graduation will stop, and everyone will start clapping for you. And then Derek will get down on one knee and..."
"Okay, stop," Meredith rolled her eyes. "That's your fantasy, not mine."
"Fine," Lexie sighed. "But it will be completely romantic."
"Whatever," Meredith sighed. "I just hope it's not too late."
"It's not too late," Lexie frowned as she pulled onto the highway. "What the hell is this?"
Meredith frowned at the seemingly endless strand of stationary cars that stretched before them on the road. She reached forward to turn on the radio to the news station, her face falling at what she heard there.
"...tractor trailer accident that workers will be working as quickly as possible to clean up," the announcer said. "If you're stuck on that highway, get comfortable, because chances are you'll be there for several hours.
"What?" Meredith frowned. "Lexie, back up, we can take back roads."
"I can't back up, there's a million people behind me now," Lexie cried.
"Well, what am I supposed to do?" Meredith yelled. "I have to get to him, Lexie, I have to tell him I love him."
"I know you do!" Lexie yelled back. "What am I supposed to do about it?"
"I don't know," Meredith sighed, flopping back into her seat. "Maybe it's a sign."
"It's not a sign," Lexie shook her head. "You'll get to Derek. You have to. You have to tell him you love him."
XXXXX
The two of them entered the house many hours later, dejected and frustrated. Meredith dropped her bag on the floor and buried her face in her hands. "What do I do now?" she asked.
"Now you go back tomorrow," Lexie said.
"Lex, we got to the school three hours after graduation was over," Meredith said. "He wasn't at his apartment. No one was at his house. And his dad's store was closed. He obviously didn't want to see me."
"He didn't know that you were looking for him," Lexie replied. "He just graduated med school, he was probably out celebrating with his family. Now you're going to go to bed and wake up early and get your butt over to that apartment of his to tell him how much you love him."
Meredith pulled a pillow over her head. "I tried," she said.
"Meredith, you're acting pathetic," Lexie rolled her eyes, pulling the pillow back from her head. "Do you want to be pathetic? Or do you want to be extraordinary?"
Meredith stared at her sister for a moment before she nodded. "I want to be extraordinary."
XXXXX
"Meredith," Michael smiled as she entered his store the next afternoon. "It's good to see you, sweetheart."
"You too, Mr. Shepherd," Meredith smiled slightly.
"I thought I made it clear that my name is Michael," he said as he moved around the counter to hug her tightly. "Now, what can I do for you?"
"I was just wondering if Derek's here," she said. "Mark doesn't know where he is and neither does Mrs....Emma. So I thought he might be here."
"I haven't seen him," Michael shook his head. "Do you need something?"
"I just...well, can you just give this to him?" she asked, handing him an envelope.
"Sure," Michael nodded, taking the envelope. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah," Meredith smiled softly. "He just really needs to get that. Before tomorrow, so are you sure you'll see him? Because I've spent the last two days looking for him, and it seems like he's disappeared off the face of the planet, but it's really really important that he gets that before tomorrow."
"I'll make sure he gets it," Michael nodded. "I have a hunch as to where he is anyways."
"Oh," Meredith nodded. "Okay, then." She turned to leave, stopping when she heard Michael continue.
"He really misses you, you know."
Meredith smiled softly. "I know," she whispered. "I miss him too."
Michael smiled warmly at her. "Emma turned me down three times before she finally agreed to marry me," he said softly. "Sometimes...sometimes the person we love the most is worth waiting for."
"I know," Meredith nodded. "I just hope Derek thinks so too."
"He does," Michael nodded, placing a gentle hand on Meredith's shoulder. "My son loves you, Meredith. More than he's ever loved anyone."
"And I love him," she whispered. "He's the only person I've ever really loved."
Michael smiled as he moved to the door, flipping the sign to closed. "If you'll excuse me, I've got a very important errand to run," he said as he held up the envelope. "I'll make sure he gets this."
"Thank you," Meredith smiled as she stepped out of the store, her heart pounding in her chest. Now all she could do was wait.