Pairing: SURPRISE! & Felix ft. SKZ & TBZ
Genre: University AU
!!TW!! : angst, mentioned toxic friendships, the TALK, but it's actually not too bad, inspired by the "OH" MV
(requested by OHWOWSOMANYPEOPLETHANKSFORTHESUGGESTIONSGUYS!!!)
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Two years.
Two years had gone by in the blink of an eye.
Through the course of these two years, the seven distraught boys had to learn how to live with the omnipresent guilt consuming their hearts. They had to learn how to properly communicate not only as to avoid another loss, but also because they held onto the slim hope that maybe, just maybe, Felix would one day return – and when he did, they'd be able to show him how sorry they were.
They couldn't contact him. All phone calls and messages were blocked, all e-mails went unanswered, and it was against school's policy to divulge where he'd transferred. A tad desperate, they'd even reached out to Felix's family in the hopes that they would know more, but his parents couldn't care less and his sisters resented them too much for what they'd put their brother through to give them any answers.
They spent an entire month completely cut off from each other, the seven of them going their separate ways in order to make a point on the situation, clear their heads, and try to understand what, exactly, they wanted to do now that their precious sunshine was gone.
When they eventually met up again, only one answer came to mind: they didn't want to lose each other, no matter what.
Hyunjin and Minho talked – really talked. As it turned out, Minho hadn't cheated on him but he had been questioning his feelings for Jisung for quite some time, which stopped him from properly loving Hyunjin back. And Hyunjin had also had to admit to his faults – in the time they were together, he always refused to respect Minho's boundaries or constantly pushed them, trying to do what was best for them rather than what was best for Minho.
Many tears were shed during that serious talk, but there was no shouting – they'd done enough of that. And, when everything was finally said and done, they had another serious talk with everyone else. How and why they picked sides, how one's actions or words provoked the others, how they could and should have done things differently because damn it, they were all friends and they shouldn't have let it go this far.
And they talked about Felix. They talked about how they constantly pushed him to choose between one or the other, how they tried to guilt-trip him and manipulate him, how they curb-stomped his feelings for the sake of a toxic competition that had no reason to be. How they ended up ignoring him or pushing him away instead.
How maybe, just maybe, Minho and Hyunjin had also fallen a bit in love with Felix, a factor which had only added oil to the spreading fire.
But Felix was gone and wasn't coming back. He'd completely cut ties with them and, though hurt, they were forced to understand that this was their fault. Their friendship had been sinking into the depths of toxicity and pain for months – it was only natural that Felix would cut ties before he was completely dragged under too.
In the end, they figured only time would help mend the notable cracks in their friendship, and so they got to work. Little by little, piece by piece, they began slowly, but surely, rebuilding what they once had. Trusts had been broken and the emotional wounds wouldn't just heal right away, but they were determined to make it work.
They were determined to do better – to be better.
Hyunjin and Minho never got back together. They were both too hurt, too scared – but that didn't stop them from slowly rekindling the close bond they once shared. Chan began dating Changbin and Jisung, the three of them kicking off their rap band under the name "3Racha" while finishing up their studies. Seungmin and Jeongin also revealed they'd been dating for a few months in secret now, having hidden it from the others because of the precarious state of their friendship at the time.
And now, two years after Felix left, things were... good.
They simply wished things could be better – with Felix coming back, that is.
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Jeongin was visiting his family in Busan with Seungmin – not for the first time, his parents absolutely adored his boyfriend, thankfully enough – and since everyone had the week off, for some miraculous reason, the rest decided to also accompany them for a well-deserved vacation.
Jisung fell asleep on Changbin the moment the train departed, and Changbin fell asleep on Chan not long after, while the older worked on his computer without being too bothered by the weight of his two boyfriends. Hyunjin and Minho were discussing the incoming dance competition in which they'd be participating in a few months, excitedly sharing ideas for the choreography they had to create. And Seungmin was reading a book while Jeongin played on his phone, the two of them simply content to be next to each other, neither too big on PDA.
Upon arriving to Busan, they decided to stop by the hotel first – unfortunately, Jeongin's house wasn't big enough for all of them, so he and his boyfriend would stay with his family while the others stayed in a hotel, but no one was too bothered by it. As soon as they got their things settled in their rooms, the seven of them decided to go and watch the newest movie that came out.
The snacks were gone in barely half-an-hour, the movie was good, and everyone had a good time. But as the group trudged out of the movie room and into the lobby, a painfully familiar laugh caught their attention. They all froze, frantically looking around – and Hyunjin was the first to spot him.
"Felix..." he whispered, his eyes wide with disbelief.
There, barely a few meters away, stood Felix. Even with his back turned to them, they could tell it was him – the striking blond hair, the petite stature, the dark blue hoodie that one of his sisters had given him, his laugh. It was deep and rich and exactly like they remembered it to be, though it'd been a long time since they last heard it.
He was accompanied by three other boys, none of which any of them had seen before, though one did look slightly familiar. They were all talking excitedly as they slowly made their way out of the cinema. And then, the familiar guy's eyes landed on their group, and he stiffened, his mouth falling slightly open. He blinked a few times, openly staring at them, before leaning down and whispering something to Felix. Almost instantly, the good mood of their little quartet died down as, as if in slow motion, Felix turned around and looked at them.
For a brief moment, time seemed to come to a stop, all seven of them waiting with bated breath, unsure of what to do or say or oh my God should we go up to him or wait for him to come up to us what do we do—!?
Felix turned around, grabbing another of the boy's hands before walking out, the other two quickly falling in step with them. It took a second for the group to realize that he was leaving, and the thought of losing Felix again after finally finding him was enough to send them running after them.
"Felix!" called Jisung, almost desperately. "Felix, please, wait!"
But the freckled boy was obviously determined to lose them, if the way he accelerated the pace was anything to go by. But then, the red-haired guy he was holding hands with stopped walking, gently but firmly stopping Felix, too. They exchanged a few words as the group chasing them stopped a few meters away, scared that their old friend would just outright take off running if they got any closer.
The red-haired guy walked up to them while the other two huddled a tad closer to Felix, watching the ongoing confrontation with palpable wariness. It hurt, seeing Felix so genuinely scared of them, but they supposed they only had themselves to blame.
"Hello," greeted Chan when the red-haired guy reached them. "I'm Bang Chan, and they—"
"I know who you are," he cut, glaring daggers at the older. "Felix doesn't want to see you."
"Then he can tell us that himself, can't he?" huffed Minho, a tad aggravated that a random guy got involved in their business.
"You have no right to demand anything from him," he hissed.
"And who are you to tell us that?" retorted Hyunjin, narrowing his eyes.
"Lee Juyeon. His boyfriend. Now kindly screw off before we make you."
"You—"
"Don't you think you've hurt him enough?" insisted Juyeon, gritting his teeth. "He moved to Busan so he wouldn't have to deal with any of you again – what gives you the right to barge in and demand anything more from him?"
There was a moment of tension and silence before, eventually, Changbin spoke up.
"Here's our numbers," he said quietly, handing over a folded piece of paper. "We'll be here for a week. If Felix wants to talk..."
After a second, Juyeon nodded mutely and took the paper. After one last glare, he turned around and walked back to his friends, wrapping an arm around Felix's shoulders and pulling him closer as they began walking away. The freckled boy practically melted into his side, not even sparing his old friends a glance, and the group could only watch as he eventually disappeared from sight.
"We should have talked to him anyway," huffed Jeongin.
"He left in the first place because we never respected him or his boundaries. What makes you think he'll want to come back if we do the exact same thing?" retorted Changbin, shaking his head. "We can't force anything. We want to show him how we've changed, don't we? Well, it starts by giving him a choice – an actual one."
Jeongin lowered his eyes, properly chastised, while Jisung quirked a brow at his boyfriend.
"With that being said... Why did you have a paper with all of our numbers on it?"
"Ah, well... I figured it might come in handy?"
Truth was, Changbin had been carrying that paper for over a year, now, hoping with all his might that he'd one day be able to cross paths with Felix again and give it to him. Finally handing it over felt like taking a serious weight off his chest.
Hopefully, he'll make something of it...
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|UNKNOWN NUMBER|
Let's meet up. Does tomorrow at 2PM at the café next to the cinema work for you?
Changbin's eyes widened almost comically as he read over the text a few times, to convince himself he wasn't dreaming. As soon as he regained his bearings, Changbin was quick to text back a confirmation before taking a screenshot and posting it in the group chat he shared with the others.
Tomorrow, we can finally set things right...!
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They were so eager, they all showed up at the café in advance. None of them dared to speak, too anxious – this was their chance to finally make it up to Felix and if they messed it up, there was no doubt in their minds that their old friend would completely cut ties once again. When Felix finally showed up, he was alone, which admittedly surprised them. He joined their table without a word, unable to meet any of their gazes, and mindful to keep a distance between him and Seungmin, who he was now sitting next to.
"So... Where's your boyfriend?" asked awkwardly Jisung.
Minho almost instantly elbowed him, and Felix swallowed thickly, still staring intently at a dent in the table before him.
"... He stayed home. He tends to get protective, and he doesn't... really hold you guys in his heart. I figured it'd be best if I came alone to... talk."
"So he doesn't know you're here, then."
Felix's head snapped up, and he glared at Hyunjin. "No, he agreed to stay home because he respects my decisions and opinions. We talk like an actual, functioning couple with a healthy relationship – though you wouldn't know how that works, would you?"
There was a moment of stunned silence as the slightly venomous quip sunk in, and Hyunjin lowered his eyes without another word, obviously hurt. The others weren't too sure of what to say, painfully aware that it was deserved, but still...
"Look, you said you wanted to talk," sighed Felix, running a hand through his hair. "But if you're just going to stare at me in awkward silence, I'll get going—"
"Damn it, Felix!" Minho was, surprisingly enough, the first to crack. "We see each other for the first time in years after you vanished without a trace – isn't there anything at all you want to tell us?"
Felix's glare shifted to him. "If you've asked me to get in touch just so as to demand an apology from me—"
"No, no, that's not it," quickly cut in Chan, gesturing for Minho to back. "Please, Felix. I swear, that's not our intentions."
After a moment, he heaved out a sigh, his anger deflating. "I was surprised to see you all together. The last time we all got together like this in a café... Yeah, can't say I really cherish that particular memory." They all winced at that. "So what? Did you come all the way here just to shove in my face the fact that me being gone was exactly what you guys needed to salvage your precious friendship?"
"That was... You leaving was what made us realize just how terrible we've been to you," answered softly Jeongin. "We only realized how much we lost once it was too late... I'm so sorry, hyung. I really am."
"I'm sorry too," added quickly Seungmin, gripping Jeongin's hand. "We shouldn't have pushed you to pick a side."
"We shouldn't have been so awful to you when you were the one trying to save our friendship," added Jisung, biting his lower lip. "I'm sorry, Lix."
"I'm sorry we made you feel like you weren't good enough," continued Changbin, regret clearly piercing through his voice.
"You've done everything right, Lix – we're the ones who were too stupid and stubborn to realize it," softly assured Chan. "And I'm so, so sorry for it. I'm the oldest, I should have known better... but I didn't."
Silence settled over the table, and Felix hesitantly looked over to Minho and Hyunjin, the two seemingly struggling with finding their words.
"... You were a good friend, Felix," eventually said Minho, his voice tight with emotion. "We were just too dumb to understand you could be a good friend to both of us. I'm sorry we ever made you feel like you were the one in the wrong when, in reality, you were just doing your best."
"We were the ones in the wrong. We should have never let our conflicts affect the bonds we shared – not only with you, but with everyone here. We put everyone in a terrible position, but you're the one who- who got the worst of it and..." Hyunjin was obviously trying his best not to burst into tears at that point. "I'm- I'm so sorry, Felix, so fucking sorry..."
Silence befell the table again. After a few seconds, Felix heaved out a shuddering breath.
"... thank you, for apologizing. For what it's worth, I'm glad you guys finally managed to overcome everything. I can't- I can't apologize for leaving, because that's what was best for me, but I am sorry it had to end this way."
"W- well, it's all in the past now, right?" tentatively replied Jisung. "We all worked really hard to mend our relationships after you left! And- and so much happened in the last two years, you'll see!"
"See...?"
"Yeah! You're coming back, right?"
Felix blinked a few times, genuinely taken aback. "I—why would I go back?"
Jisung's sudden burst of enthusiasm instantly died down. "But... but we finally found you, Lix. And- and we changed, I promise—"
"That doesn't change the fact that I'm not going anywhere," cut Felix, now frowning. "Look, it's... nice, to see you guys again, and to know that you're doing better. But you apologizing doesn't just erase the literal years of shit and pain I've had to endure because of what you put me through."
"But we—"
"And forgetting that, I have a life here now. I'm almost done with my studies, I found a job I enjoy, I made new friends that actually give a damn about my feelings, and I've found a wonderful boyfriend whom I love very much. Why the hell would I leave?"
The others could only stare at him, gawking a bit. Felix had certainly grown an attitude since the last time they'd seen him. Gone was the shy, unsure boy who'd never dare to raise his voice against anyone – and deep down, they knew they were to blame for that abrupt change in personality.
"Look, I don't know what you guys were imagining, but us finally meeting up again after two years is nothing more than a coincidence. I'm glad we talked, and I genuinely appreciate you apologizing... but you need to understand that I've moved on since then." He clicked his tongue, a tad annoyed. "I haven't put my life on pause just anxiously waiting for the day you'd finally get your heads out of your asses – I've worked hard on myself, and I've managed to build a new life here, one that I'm more than happy with. The past is the past and, as far as I'm concerned, whether you guys are a part of my future or not is completely unimportant. If we keep in touch, good – but it's no skin off my back if you aren't willing to show me that you've actually changed and are finally ready to consider my feelings, for once in your entire lives."
Silence once more.
And, surprisingly enough, it was Hyunjin who found the strength to speak first.
"You're right," he whispered, furiously blinking back his tears. "You're absolutely right, Lix. I'm sorry. We were just... so happy, to see you again, we didn't even consider that you wouldn't... you wouldn't feel the same way."
At that, Felix's expression softened a bit. "Hyunjin... I am happy to see you. Spooked, a little nervous, but still happy. You guys just need to understand that my world no longer revolves around our little group like it used to, and if you can't do that..."
"We can," assured Jeongin without missing a beat, offering Felix a hesitant smile. "We don't want to lose you again, Lix-hyung. We've missed you."
At that, at last, Felix offered them a smile – it was small, but genuine. "I've missed you guys too."
At that's when they realized... They might have truly lost the old Felix, but they now had the opportunity to get to know the new him, and they'd be damned before they let that second chance slip through their fingers.
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"So? How was it?"
"Exhausting. Hug me?"
Juyeon chuckled, opening his arms, and Felix was quick to fall into his lap and hug him as tightly as he could. He felt himself relax as the familiar scent and warmth of his boyfriend took over his senses, and he eventually heaved out a deep sigh.
"So? Do I need to beat up all of them?" eventually asked Juyeon, only half-joking.
"No. No, I think... I think we'll be fine. I gave them my real number, so they shouldn't be bothering you."
(Felix wasn't stupid. In case things took a turn for the worst, he'd used Juyeon's phone to text Changbin earlier. But, as it turned out, that precaution had been moot.)
Eric had introduced them to each other and, for a while, Juyeon had become Felix's sole reason for staying. He was the one who helped him build back his confidence, the one who slowly helped him believe in others again, the one thanks to whom Felix had gained the strength and mental fortitude to stand his ground on his own once more.
Felix had made many friends through him and Eric, friends who made him realize just how much he'd missed being surrounded by people. He'd found a nice job at a nearby cat café of which the owner took a particular liking to him, the old woman already telling him how much she'd love to entrust her shop to him in a few more years. And Juyeon had asked him out barely four months ago, now, but it already felt like they'd been together for years, and Felix absolutely relished in the new level of closeness this particular relationship unlocked for them. The red-haired man was kind, and passionate, and so damn caring it sometimes made Felix want to cry, sometimes.
"I'm glad. I know how much you've missed them, despite everything."
Felix couldn't believe he'd manage to find such happiness after all the shit he'd gone through because of his alleged friends, and he certainly wasn't about to give it up for anything or anyone.
"Hmm." With a small smile, Felix kissed his cheek. "Thank you, hyung – for trusting me to work through this on my own. I love you."
Juyeon smiled back, leaning down to properly kiss him. "I love you too, Lix."
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Alright so I got a LOT of requests and suggestions for a Part 2 so there you go! I tried to answer to everyone's requests to the best of my abilities, but I just didn't feel up for MORE angst (or at least, not for this particular AU) so here's the final product.
Hope you liked it!