Yuzuru spent most of the night staring into his phone, beating one Candy Crush level after the other just to keep his brain occupied.
Now the sun was already trying to make its way into his room and his hands were sweaty. He wasn't that concerned about telling the story to Sophie in a few moments but more about how she will react to it, what will follow after.
There was so much that he could blame on Tamiko without giving it a second thought but ever since Sophie showed up in his life, he was doing one mistake after the other. Now he wanted to fix at least some of it. To give her all the answers she deserved.
He heard the main door close behind Akira and Elliot, making him toss his phone aside and quickly run his hands through his hair in case it got all messed up on the pillow.
Her footsteps immediately followed to their hallway but he heard she has paused and stood there at his door, not knocking.
Was she doubting he is still there? She did not come to check on him ever since she got up and he wondered if she was too deep asleep when he was taking a shower early in the morning.
Making sure he used her shower gel instead of taking his from the backpack since that one seemed to provoke her so much. Possibly reminding her of the night they spent together in Japan and now finding it repulsive.
He let out a heavy sigh upon that thought just as he heard a faint knock on the door.
"Yeah," he said and sit up straight, his legs still under the duvet, "come in."
The door opened and she peeked in first before entering and sitting on the edge of the bed.
She was still in her pajamas and even from that distance, he could smell the sweet fragrance of fresh flowers on her. Was she sitting again among all those flowers she had in the flat over the winter?
The dark circles under her eyes were a clear sign that she had as much sleep as he had and the yawn that followed only confirmed it.
Making him feel even worse because he was the reason for her sleepless night.
"Wanna lie down?" he asked, patting the pillow next to him.
"Nah," she replied, suppressing another yawn, "if my head touches that pillow, I will fall asleep."
Her gaze fell on the black folder he had on the bed and he removed it, placing it on the nightstand.
"Don't worry," he said and got up from the bed, walking around it, "the story will keep you awake, believe me."
He went to the window and opened the curtains wide to let as much light in as possible and sat back on the bed, but this time on the side closer to the window. That way if she would lay down, he could lie on his left side and minimize the pain of his broken right rib, and most of all, the light would be falling on her face and he could be admiring her beautiful features.
Seemingly the warm spot he left behind was too irresistible and she did give him a slight nod before sliding under the covers as well and turning on her side just as he did the same.
A strand of hair fell over her cheek but he did not dare to tuck it behind her ear. Knowing very well that she would probably break his finger if he would even attempt it.
And right now, the only reason he was telling her the story was to give her what she wanted, having no more hidden agenda that she could like him more than just a friend.
Because after everything he has learned about her, he knew that even if he would be the nicest guy on earth, she would not get into a relationship with someone who had his fame status.
The only thing he selfishly hoped for to gain was just that maybe she would start calling him Yuzu again.
At least that.
"Considering how much I had it prepared in my head," he started with a quiet voice, "now I am not sure where to start."
"Start from the very beginning," she said, "I want to hear every single detail. Paint it for me so I can really get the full picture properly."
"Alright," he said, looking into her weary eyes and took a deep breath.
Here we go, Sophie-chan.
"It was the summer before the Beijing Olympics. I was spending it in Japan and when I came back to Toronto, it turned out that meanwhile, I got a new neighbor. I didn't know on what floor she lived and was not even sure if she was Japanese. As you know, it is a tradition to get something for a new neighbor, but I was gone for so long that I didn't know if it's still appropriate to go and introduce myself. And as said, I was not sure if she really was Japanese or not since I rarely ever saw her. Just traveling early in the morning to TCC and coming back late at night. Sometimes I saw her going to the bus stop in the morning, usually when I myself was already running late and missed my earlier bus so I didn't pay her much attention. Though the more often I caught sight of her the more I started to notice how pretty she was."
He wanted to say that Tamiko was almost as beautiful as Sophie was, just as he told her on the roof in Japan, but again, it would probably only earn him another broken rib.
And so he only went with his eyes over the spots on her face where the sunbeams were dancing over her cheek and casting shadows under her eyelashes but didn't mention how mesmerizingly stunning he finds her.
"Go on," she prompted and he snapped out of his thoughts and went on with the story.
"I found myself wanting to get to know her, at that time more for a need of missing a friend. Javi was long gone back in Spain and I lived alone for several years already. I thought it would be nice to simply have somebody to talk to. Especially if it could be in Japanese. And so after several weeks, I took the next bus to TCC. I always went on the one at 5:30 and I knew she was taking the one at 6 am. As always, she went straight to the back of it, took out a book, and paid me no attention. And though the bus was half empty, with plenty of free seats I went over and asked her if I could sit down. I wanted to start a conversation, to mention that we are actually neighbors but she only nodded for me to sit down but went back to her book, completely ignoring me."
"I wonder what that must have done to your ego."
"Nothing good," he said with a weak smile, "I tried to look at it from the positive side, that at least she clearly didn't know I might be somewhat famous. But it still bugged me that she had no interest in me."
"So what did you do?"
"Well," he said with a sigh, "a few days later, we ran into each other at the entrance to the building and she was looking for keys in her handbag. I took out mine and she sighed with relief. I asked her if she has forgotten hers, but she fished them out from her pocket with a nervous smile. She said that she thought I am just some creep who is following her since I sat down next to her in the half-empty bus. She had no idea I was her neighbor. So now, when we met at the entrance to the building she was relieved to find out that I actually lived there as well. We had a short laugh about it, but I felt sorry for her that possibly because of the way she looks, she must have been getting quite some unwanted attention. And the next day we were on a bus together again and she sat down next to me, apologizing for thinking badly about me and I was apologizing for making her feel uncomfortable and then we finally introduced and I got confirmation that she is Japanese after hearing her name with a Japanese accent."
"You didn't think she was when you spoke the previous day?"
"Not really, no," he answered, "I knew her name from the doorbell but her English is absolutely flawless. Or at least to my ear. I thought that maybe one of her parents was Japanese but that she must have lived in Canada her whole life, possibly not knowing the language anymore. But when I mentioned it on the bus the next day, she said she just studied hard to know English well but is fully Japanese. And then I asked her if she is also from Sendai, given her accent and she was.
Right away we had plenty to talk about and she told me she works in a cafe in Toronto but it's so far from the apartment that she has to commute in such early hours to be on time. She always dodged my questions anytime I asked why she moved to Toronto and the more we talked the more intrigued I was by her. Resulting in my first regret of telling her when a spot at the TCC's cafe opened, looking for a barista."
"Barista?" Sophie said and smiled, "not a waitress?"
He closed his eyes briefly, recalling all the instances he called Tamiko's job waitressing and the earful he received afterwards, "she was very adamant about me calling it the right way. Explaining to me all the science behind the art of making the perfect cup of coffee. And though I don't drink coffee, I enjoyed listening to her explanations, so I added to my list of learning quad Axel also secretly learning the difference between espresso and doppio and all that crap."
"Hey!" she said and pursed her lips, "don't offend coffee! It's a cup of liquid magic."
Yuzuru rolled his eyes but still smiled a little seeing the sparks of playfulness behind Sophie's eyes.
"She once actually made me a cup, it wasn't that bad."
"How many spoons of caramel was in it?"
"A lot."
They both chuckled and he quickly continued with the story not to get lost in her smile. He did not see her smile for so many weeks and missed it more than food or sleep.
"Anyway, if she would get the job at TCC she would not have to take such an early bus and I would have somebody to talk to during my training breaks, so I idiotically went to the manager and told her that Tamiko is my friend and asked her if she could get hired. And so she did."
"That was nice of you."
"That was stupid of me."
He saw how Sophie uncomfortably shifted in her spot, knowing very well he is still painting Tamiko in a very good light but that was the purpose. Because that was the impression she herself gave him at the very start and wanted to make sure that he conveys it to Sophie exactly that way. So she would understand how bad all those nice things became later on.
"Anyway, I was still too busy with my training for the Olympics and she still paid me little to no attention unless I myself initiated the contact. She started to take late shifts instead of morning ones but even when we ended up taking the same bus home, her first choice was always a book. And often I was exhausted from the training and anyway didn't have the energy to talk. So we just sat next to each other and I was simply enjoying the comfortable silence. She reading her books and I, listening to my music. Nevertheless, I also saw that she has the same taste in books like I had and the more I was getting to know her personality from the things she liked and the way she interacted with other people I became more and more attracted to her."
"And she didn't know you?" Sophie inquired when he made a small break, "Given that she now worked at TCC."
"I actually dodged those questions as well," he explained, "I obviously told her I am a figure skater but not that I won two Olympics and am training for third ones. And though I learned about coffee for her, she didn't start to learn anything about figure skating for me."
"Was it killing you inside?"
"Yeah," he laughed and adjusted the pillow under his head, hoping Sophie won't notice he moved a bit closer to her, "I was bummed about it. But also I liked that she is just a normal, shy girl and not my fan. Not fainting over every little thing I did."
"So when did you tell her?"
"Only months later," he replied, "I got a car and offered to drive her home every night. Without her books and my music, we finally could chat properly. I found out we also have the same taste in movies and food and simply everything else. And at that time I was already helplessly in love with her. She had that cute little giggle, always covering her mouth as if feeling bad for laughing.....Anyway, so I told her that I will be competing at the Olys next month because I wanted her to cheer for me. I wanted to know that she would be watching when I attempt the quad Axel."
"Did she freak out?"
"Not that night," he answered, "she was only impressed by how good I am. But she did google me when she got home and the next day she was kind of freaked out finding out how famous I am in Japan. Finally telling me why she moved away from Sendai."
He paused, getting to one of the more uncomfortable parts, and was glad that Sophie didn't prompt him anymore. Giving him time to process it at his own speed.
"She has lost her younger sister during the earthquake," he whispered, briefly biting his lip, "one can hardly imagine how traumatizing that was. I didn't lose any family members and yet that disaster still haunts me. It was so much worse for her and she developed severe PTSD. She wanted to live in a country where there are no earthquakes or tsunamis. One day raising her children without the fear that the whole school would collapse on them."
"Damn..."
"Yeah," he said, back to normal voice though still raspy, "she finally opened up about it only because when she googled me she saw the tribute skates I did for the victims and was touched by it. Which consequently made me feel even more protective towards her. I wanted to make it all better, to make her feel good again."
"And did she let you?"
"She did," he said simply, "I wanted her so badly but I knew she would never take the first step even if she would like me as much as I liked her. But after I won the Olympics I was full of confidence and the moment I landed back in Toronto I went straight to her and asked her out."
"And she?"
"She said she thought I would never ask."
Sophie laughed but since that was another thing on his regret list, ever asking Tamiko out, he did not share the same enthusiasm.
"And so we started to date," he said bitterly, "We never fought. Always agreed on everything. She was just a perfect soulmate for me. Except for figure skating, we had the same interests and she didn't mind me talking about it all the time. I was still finishing the season but did not plan to go competitively into the next one. Just doing ice shows and playing with the idea of becoming a coach. I wanted the media hassle to die out around me so I could settle down but they were still way too interested in my private life. So even when I asked her to marry me some months later after the Olympics, we still agreed to do it secretly."
"That was quite a rush though," Sophie countered, "asking her so soon."
"I loved her," he said simply, "she was absolutely perfect. I thought she was the one, you know? I didn't want to wait. I didn't think there would be anything that could set us apart so I had no reason to wait. And given that she also wanted children as badly as I did I truly believed we would be together forever. She quit the job in the cafe and I bought a house that was her project to decorate and became a proper housewife. She was an amazing cook as well but because I didn't want her to be constantly stuck at home we traveled a lot. She accompanied me to all the ice shows and I honestly haven't been happier in my whole life. I achieved everything I ever wanted and now I had an amazing wife by my side. Even my mother adored her. They exchanged recipes and regularly called each other even when we were in Toronto. I honestly could not believe how lucky I was."
"Honestly, Hanyu," Sophie said with a sigh and turned on her back, talking to the ceiling, "if you now say that you left after you found out she could not have kids I don't believe I will be able to hold back and not physically hurt you."
Yuzuru shifted hearing her using his last name but carried on, knowing he is now getting to the part that Sophie would actually not want to hear no matter how much she thought she did.
"As I said before," he said carefully, "Tamiko is a master manipulator. And if you would have read the letter you would have known that my mother is too, though nowhere near as good as Tamiko. All those calls they had, which I believed was to keep a good relationship, were about them plotting how to convince me to move back to Japan. Permanently."
"I am sorry," she said sternly, "but I don't see anything bad about a mother wanting to have her son close."
"But isn't it strange that Tamiko agreed on that?" he questioned, "that would have gone against her initial reason why she left Japan in the first place."
"And did you bother to ask her?" Sophie asked and rolled back on her side, looking straight into his eyes, "something might have changed her mind. Or did you just jumped straight to conclusions and accusations?"
"Of course I asked her," he retorted, "we had our first fight. After three years of being together. She knew that as much I love Japan I just don't want to come back because of all the fame pressure. I don't want reporters snooping around my privacy. Our privacy. To take pictures of our kids."
"And what was her reason?"
"She said, that because she didn't have her family anymore, she did not want me to lose mine over this. She knew how much I fight with my mother, how much she is trying to control me, and said that maybe if I would come back, the relationship would get better."
"Again. Sorry. But that is perfectly understandable," she said and he saw her eyes hardening even more, "you have no idea how much it was hurting me seeing Akio sad over the fallout he had with his father. Over me. I wanted them to make up so badly. Exactly for the same reason as what Tamiko said. Because knowing what it's like to be without family, its something you would not wish on somebody you love."
"But that's different."
"How?"
"Because you are a kind person Sophie," he said and took her hand that was between them but she pulled back, sending a needle-like jab into his chest, "maybe because you lived through so much drama you just want everyone, including yourself, to be at peace. To make everyone happy. But my mother has only one reason why she wants me back and Tamiko had the same."
"Which was?"
"I will get to it."
His shoulder was now blocking some of the sunbeams falling on her and he slid lower, giving it a way to once more caress her face in all the right angles. Envying the sun it could do that when his hand could not.
"In the end," he carried on, "we agreed to leave it be for now and finally started to focus on starting a family while I was already doing part-time coaching at TCC for a while. I agreed to keep working part-time to keep my options open as a promise to her that I am not completely planning to settle down in Toronto. But as you know, the baby thing was not going as fast as I thought it would. Not sure if you know, but patience is not one of my virtues."
He hoped for her to smile but her eyes were still piercing him as if ready to scorch him if he doesn't say that Tamiko is a serial killer. He once more reached for her hand between them and when she tried to pull away, he strengthened his grip and pulled it back.
"Please wait," he pleaded and she did leave her hand in his, her fingers and whole body tense in disagreement, "It was just another normal day. Tamiko was somewhere out with her friends and for days she was asking me to check her laptop, thinking she might have a virus there. Which she did. So I was clearing it all out when I came across a hidden folder."
He paused, feeling physically sick from the memory and Sophie impatiently shook with their intertwined hands.
"What was in it?"
"Photos."
"What photos?"
"Photos of me."
Yuzuru watched the crease form on her forehead, her confused frown deepening with each silent second.
"She was your wife," she said, "it's normal to have photos of one's husband ----"
"They were not just any photos."
"Were you naked or someth---"
"Those were photos," he said and took a deep breath, "that were taken before we met."
"Huh?"
"And not anything from the media," he continued, glad he already told that story so many times to his therapist that he now somewhat managed to detach himself from the emotions linked with it. "They were photos of me walking to TCC. Coming back from TCC. Going for dinner with my friends."
"I...I am not sure if I am getting it."
Her eyes were full of confusion but he could see that deep down, behind all that, she had an idea of what it was but was fighting to acknowledge it with all her might. Because the reality would be too much to process.
"I went through some of the old boxes in the attic," he went on, "she still had her old laptop there. And when I got into that one, the one she was using before we started to date, I found it was filled with similar folders and pictures. Each folder was named after a month. Going all the way back to 2018."
"W-Who...who took those photos?"
"You know who, Sophie," he said and squeezed her hand tight but it laid lifeless in his grip, "she did."
Sophie didn't even blink, just stared mindlessly somewhere at his nose, her brain still fighting the realization.
"The latest folders were the ones from when I came back from Japan before the last Olympics. The summer when I met her. Those pictures," he paused and once more took a deep breath, "were of me, in my flat, in my living room. Alone. Including some videos. She somehow must have gotten in when I was gone and install a camera in that room so she could see what movies and series I watch. What books I read. What food I eat."
Sophie snatched her hand from his hand and he saw she was supressing a gag reflex before darting out of the bed and running to the bathroom.
He lied there for a while, staring at the spot she was in just a moment ago and wondering where is that feeling of a weight lifted from his chest. Because he thought he would feel so much lighter after finally telling her, yet the feeling was not there.
And the room was dark again.
He got up and went after her, finding her sitting on the floor, her hands pressed against the cold porcelain of the toilet to cool down and trying to throw up with sheer panic in her eyes. He closed the distance between them and sat behind her, pressing his chest on her back and brushing her sweaty hair away.
"I was throwing up for weeks and months after I found out," he said softly, "it's okay, Sophie-chan."
"I-I can't," she muttered and leaned into him, her chest heaving, "I didn't have breakfast yet."
"Hmm," he said and wrapped his arms around her stomach, moving her slightly to the left so her back wouldn't press against the broken rib, "do you wanna hear the rest? Might be better to be done with it in one go."
She gave him a weak nod and he plucked up the courage to continue.
"Well," he said with a strangled voice, "I loved her. So I of course could not believe any of it. I was coming up with thousands of excuses of how those photos and videos got there. After all, at that time when I met her, I had plenty of stalkers but since none of them ever got too close, the thought of somebody getting into my flat didn't even cross my mind. My security there was non-existent. I had bodyguards at the airport but never took any measures for my flat. It was my home. I felt safe there."
"I know," she said with a weak voice, "I had the same in the old house too. Until..."
Her voice trailed off and he continued again.
"And so I thought that maybe somebody else did that and was possibly blackmailing her. And she was just trying to protect me from finding out, knowing how much I love my fans and that it would hurt me. After all, she was kind and caring. That scenario was somewhat working for a while, though deep down I knew it is not true. That it's all so much more sinister."
"You didn't confront her right away?!"
"No," he answered, "at that time, I was not one to jump to conclusions and accusations. I could not even phantom the idea of accusing her of something like that. She was my whole world, Sophie-chan. For years. Admitting to myself that it was all her, would be like committing suicide."
She was resting lifelessly against him and he wanted to lift her up and bring her back to bed, hating the broken rib preventing him from doing that and so he only turned to sit against the wall and pulled her with him, putting her head into the crook of his neck.
She bent her knees and for a moment he thought she will again pull away but instead she only adjusted herself to sit more comfortably in his embrace.
A faint smile crossed his lips and he fought the need to squeeze her tight and kiss her forehead.
"You know," he broke the silence again, "she was everything to me. The only person I ever let get so close to me. Into my most private world. It was just her and I. The next circle was my closest friends and family. Then my fans and other friends. But she was in the very center of it all. She was my home."
"So what did you do?"
"I started to search for any clues that could remove any blame from her," he said bitterly, "I shared it with my security team and for weeks we were digging through all the old files we had on my stalkers. Until we came across one who stopped following me just before the PyeongChang Olympics."
"Was that her?"
"Yes," he confirmed, "but it was not clear. She always wore a face mask wherever she went. Taking the same flights to competitions, staying in the same hotel. Just the usual stuff. Something we can do absolutely nothing about if the person is just going to the same places as you but does not approach you. Does not say anything. Does not threaten you. There is nothing one can do against it. As you know all too well."
"Hmm..."
"But when I saw those photos," he continued, "I did recall one of the many girls who stalked me. And I tried to remember how exactly she looked since the photos we had of her were no good. She never properly revealed her face. But her body looked just like Tamiko's. But the eyes....I could not be sure."
"How did you link them then?"
"I asked my team to, in all secrecy, look into Tamiko's past. But they could not find anything from before PyeongChan. Nothing about her being from Sendai."
"Is she?"
"No."
"Was she in the Earthquake?"
"No."
"Did her sister die there?"
"No."
"Did she have PTSD?"
"No."
"Was any of the things she told you true?"
"Yes."
"Which one?"
"That she loves me."
He felt her stomach turning in an attempt for throwing up again and she clung to him harder to fight it.
"Her parents are still alive," he went on, "she never had any siblings. She comes from quite a rich family actually. She first got obsessed with me after Sochi and started to follow me. And when she figured she won't get to me like that, she turned her life upside down. Improved her English, went to Korea for some cosmetic surgeries, changed her name. She even has some friends at the police in Japan, easily wrapping everyone around her finger, so they helped her cover her tracks and it took us a lot of bribing to get to her real name. We got also a hold of her medical files from her time in Korea. Not sure if you know, but that country has more cosmetic surgery clinics than convenient stores."
"Yeah," Sophie said weakly, "Nari told me her mother even gave her a voucher for her twenty-first birthdays to pick a new nose or whatnot."
"Hmm," he mused, "it is way more common there than in Japan. So she went there for a year to undergo some treatments. Nothing too invasive, but still enough for us not to definitely link her with that stalker girl. And her parents had no idea the whole time. She completely ditched them, staged a fight with them over some nonsense, withdrew shittons of money from their account, and disappeared first into Korea and then to Toronto. This time following me in secret and scheming how to get me to notice her until a flat in my apartment building freed up."
"So how did you link those two?"
"Well, I had her medical files from Korea. Not only from the cosmetic surgery clinics. When she was there she also found out she can't have children due to some rare disease. An Oocyte maturation defect or something along those lines. Anyway, it's really rare. And so I pushed her to go to the fertility clinic and finally when we got the results I ran out of excuses. It was as if the wall of denial I was so carefully building over the weeks collapsed."
"That was in summer then. When you had the fight."
"Yes," he confirmed, "I finally confronted her and though she tried to deny everything, the evidence was there and after several hours she stopped fighting and turned on me. Telling me that I should be glad to have her since nobody would like the same shit that I like. Watching the same stupid anime shows with me. Liking the same music or books. I have never seen this side of her. Being so spiteful, mean, and malicious. But I am glad I did. That really was the final wake-up call. She admitted to so many things in the heat of the moment. Thinking that if she would belittle me, I would stay with her just for the sole purpose of not being alone. That's how I found out she never suffered from PTSD and most of the other lies I didn't uncover yet at the time. She told me everything I was still missing, the things I have already told you."
"God...."
"Yeah, God has nothing to do with her," he said bitterly, "I flew to Japan to be as far away from her as possible. Going over to her parents to tell them what she did and that she needs professional help. We agreed that they will keep an eye on her and pressured her into the divorce as well."
"Where is she now?"
"In Japan. With them. We have in the NDA that she needs to stay living with them and go to regular therapy. Obviously ceasing all the contact with me and my family. Though I know she still here and there calls my mother."
"And your mum still doesn't know?!"
"No," he said sternly, "we might have our differences, but I love my mother. It broke my heart into pieces after I found out. I would never do that to her. I rather take the blame than telling her that her adorable daughter-in-law is a.....I don't even have a word for her."
"But that's not right, Yuzu," she said quietly and he did squeeze her tight even through the pain from his injury, "you need to have some support system. To have friends you can share this with to not go through it alone."
"I am much better now," he said and did dare to place a small peck on top of her head, though it was so feather-like he doubted she noticed that, "it's already many months in the past."
He also wanted to say that now he has her, but would not want to put that pressure on her. Maybe she did finally call him Yuzu again, but he still didn't know how she felt about him. Compassion was one thing, that was like second nature to her, but he did hurt her so many times, over and over again, that he would not dare to hope she would want to restore their friendship to what it used to be.
"Yuzu?"
"Hmm?"
"I think I might faint," she said almost inaudibly and he darted up, helping her into the bedroom.
"You didn't sleep or eat, it's no surprise---"
"It's not that," she said when she lied down back into his bed, "I mean, it is partly. But....I know it will sound selfish, but----"
"I know," he whispered and lied down next to her, "you keep thinking what would happen if that crazy stalker of yours would get into your life like that."
"Yes," she sighed and pulled the duvet all the way up to her chin, "I don't understand how those people think they have the right to do that."
"They are ill and need help just like anyone else. It's just hard to feel compassion when one is directly affected by it like us."
"Not just like us," she carried on, "everyone famous has the very same issue."
She paused and looked up to him from hypnotizing her hands, unmeasurable fear and pain in her eyes.
"Is she dangerous?"
"No," he quickly answered, "she is nothing like your stalker. She is not violent or aggressive. Just a manipulator. And she does love me. Still loves me. She would not do anything to hurt me, that's one thing I am certain of. She simply believed she is the right one for me and in some twisted way thought that I would still stay with her even after I found out. She never even hurt a fly. Literally. She just opened a window a tried to wave it away. Saving wasps that fell into a glass of juice when we sat outside. Even when she was belittling me during that fight I could see she was feeling bad for mocking me like that. Seeing it did hurt me to hear it."
"Hmm," Sophie mused and closed her eyes, "seems that study was right."
"What study?"
"There was once a study about the fear one has of the opposite gender. And the majority of men answered that they most fear that women will laugh at them."
"Hmm," he said, trying to sound playful to lighten the heavy atmosphere, "that seems about right. What did the women answer? What do they most fear in men?"
"That they might kill us."