Sophie spent most of the Saturday in her bed, staring at the dark screen of her phone.
It was around noon when she got the call that the stalker's sentence was indeed reduced for good behavior and he was out and about already for months. According to the police, they were not obliged to contact her about it.
Having Mike in the apartment and no Pokemon cards missing did give her a sense of security yet what she wished the most was to have somebody close to talk to.
At least Akira was kept occupied by Elliot who she asked to come over as well, not wanting to channel her negative mindset onto her son and rather stay locked up in her room.
She messaged Yuzuru to update him that the stalker was released but that the card was found. He responded by asking if she has Mike around and when she confirmed she has, he only wrote a simple 'good'.
Nothing more.
And it was now over two hours since that exchange and she stared at the phone and waited for the screen to lit up and hear the familiar tone of an incoming text.
Or even better, a doorbell.
She was slowly coming to terms with the fact that there won't be anything that would break the lonely silence and reached for the mp4 player, setting it on a random shuffle.
Her ears got blasted by loud Japanese rock music and she instantly pulled the earphones out and first lowered the volume before putting them back in.
Somebody is on a mission to ruin their precious super-hearing with this.
She thought, not believing he is still able to hear a word anyone says if for years he listens to the music so loud.
There was a mix of both Japanese and English rock songs and she began to drift in and out of sleep.
Until her eyes shot open when she heard her native language.
'Soy de Japón'
A female native speaker said followed by a translation of a Japanese, male voice.
'I am from Japan'
"What?!" Sophie whispered and rolled on the bed, checking the track on the player.
It was called "Meeting new people" in a folder called "Spanish for Beginners"
Seriously Hanyu? You are ignoring me yet you secretly learn Spanish?!
She growled into the pillow and pulled it over her head, for the thousandth time trying to figure out what is going in that guy's head.
'Buenos días!' the female voice said chirpily.
'Good morning' came in the translation in Japanese and she pulled the earphones out, tossing it all on her nightstand.
One more week.
One week.
One week.
She kept repeating in her mind, already out of justifications for his actions. Now left only with the blind hope that if she ignores it all and just manages to wait until the next weekend, she will get her answers. Her emotions were like a ticking bomb, with the countdown set to Saturday, the day when Yuzuru would finally cut the red wire and it will decide everything.
He carried me up for eight floors just so that I didn't have to take the elevator.
No matter how stupid and stubborn that was, it was still nice of him.
He stayed with me throughout that night, awake, just to make sure I am alright and get some sleep.
And he genuinely cares for Aki....
Sophie shot up and pulled her notebook on her lap, with a lighting speed googling Yuzuru and what the media write about him. Ignoring the level of desperation she has reached, trying to find some nasty articles that would make her feel sorry for him and give her the so much-needed justifications she ran out of.
She didn't have to search for long and came across a first tabloid article, having an interview with some psychologist-wannabe who was analyzing why Yuzuru isn't married and with kids yet. Covering his sexual orientation or the possibility of being asexual altogether, putting it as if both options would make him an outcast of society.
Fucking uptight country.
The more articles she read, the more her stomach was turning and she sat there with one hand in her hair and with the other clicking through all the garbage.
Did he read any of these? Did his PR team bring any of those to his attention? Surely he would have sue those tabloids if he knew.
Sophie put away the laptop and closed her eyes, both hands in her hair and sorting through everything she has read and applying it against his behavior.
When it came to liking the kids and wanting his own, she knew that was genuine from him. But could such nasty articles and theories make him feel bad enough that he just wanted to prove all those tabloids wrong? ASAP?
But before it all went sideways with Tamiko, he must have had plenty of opportunities to make their relationship public. It would silence the media, at least in that regard.
She was none wiser when done, but at least it did help her to be less angry at him and feel sorry.
It must have been so overwhelming for him to constantly live under the scrutinizing eye of the paparazzi lens. And who knew how many things he had now on his plate. She definitely had no idea. For that, he would have to actually share way more with her.
Maybe she really should have checked on him when he was crying in the car last night. He seemed genuinely broken. Maybe he learned some news that had nothing to do with her?
Who knows, could have been already during their drive on the way to her place. He could have got a text when she said she didn't want kids and his cold reaction was to that and not her....
And then, whatever he was going through, it's not like she was living in a paradise. Maybe it was all just too overwhelming for him. She did accept him as part of the family for Christmas and he could just find it all being too much.
It was her life that she lived every day, used to all of the things, but it must have been all too new for him.
Her mother was dying, and though she did not care in the slightest, who knew what he thought about that. Clearly, his relationship with his mother wasn't perfect either, but he loved her. And the ever-present attention of Aki that even for her got sometimes overwhelming, yet he seemed to like it. It was he who wanted to spend even more time with her son.
And last but not least, adding her history with the stalker. That of course was not a nice story to listen to, but right now she did feel safe. After all, she was thousands of miles away from Japan and though they couldn't find the stalker's current whereabouts, there was no way he would know where she is. And her new apartment was way more secured than the old house.
She knew she didn't even need to have Mike around, that it was just for her peace of mind and they anyway agreed if nothing will be out of the ordinary, he will leave mid-week.
But could it be it all got too much for Yuzuru? It definitely sometimes did for her.
Sophie reached for her phone and texted him if he would maybe like to come for lunch the next day. It did take him a while to respond but her heart skipped a beat when the phone finally lit with a new message.
Yuzuru
16:42
Sorry, I can't. Already have plans.
Sophie
16:42
How about dinner tonight then?
Just about to go and cook it
She was just typing what kind of dish she had in mind for the dinner when his reply interrupted her.
Yuzuru
16:43
Sorry, busy the whole weekend.
Her chest tightened and it was as if somebody put a hand through it and harshly squeezed her heart. Sophie quickly shook her head, doing her best not to read too much into it, and instead tried to think of somebody, anyone, she could actually hang out with. To talk to about what's going on.
Lewis was the only other option she had in Canada but she quickly dismissed him. The coffee they had after the New Year was nice, but he was just her casual friend, one she would not share anything too personal with. The advantage of Yuzuru being that he burrowed his way into her life and now knew everything. She didn't have to hide from him she is the author of the books or anything else, just being herself.
And so in the end, she settled on her three closest girlfriends from Spain, asking if they would like to have a glass (or a bottle) of wine over a Skype call tomorrow.
It would be early afternoon for her and chatting online wasn't much of her thing anyway.
But it was not like she had a choice.
____________________
Online or not, she still had fun, listening to their neverending troubles with kids, so similar to hers. They chatted and gossiped and though she was sure all of them already heard about her mother, she appreciated none of them asked her about it.
And so on Monday, she did feel much better and decided to credit the whole Friday and weekend thing with Yuzuru to one of his many mood swings. After all, she has been through so many with him, that she merely added that one to the pile, stuffed it into an imaginary closet, and pressed herself against its door to keep it all inside until he tells her everything on Saturday and she will be able to sort through it.
"Morning, Yuzu," she approached him while Akira was still getting ready in the locker room, "you left this at my place," she added, handing him the mp4 player with the earphones and smirking a little.
"Thanks," he said, taking it from her and frowning, "why are you smirking like that?"
"You learn Spanish?" she smiled even more and tried to poke his side but he dodged.
"You listened to the things I have on it?!" he raised his voice just a bit but it was enough for her smile to disappear.
"Sorry," she muttered, "I didn't think it would be---"
"You think about everything. And in great detail. I doubt---"
"Yuzu!" she raised her voice as well, "I am sorry! Okay? I just found it cute and thought we would have a laugh about----"
"Whatever," he said and turned to the rink, watching the warm-up of the few that were already on the ice, "anything else?"
"N-No," she stammered in shock, the imaginary closet pushing on her back to open and spill all the things she stored there, "see you around then."
Sophie turned on her heel and went to her usual spot, opening her laptop and mindlessly staring at the screen during the first half of the training session. She only here and there raised her head to check on Akira but in none of those instances noticed any of Yuzuru's usual glances at her. And so she closed the laptop and spent the second half of the training staring straight at him.
There was not a single glance.
Several times it did seem like he was just about to look her way but his eyes always changed direction last second.
And they always landed on Nari.
Sophie crossed her arms on her chest and straightened her legs under the table, leaning into the chair and watching him like a hawk.
Do you even have a type, Hanyu?
She thought, recalling Tamiko's face and how he told her he used to glance at the glass to get a glimpse of her.
She was indeed beautiful, though it was clear she had at least one cosmetic surgery. Sophie was sure that at the bare minimum, she had the crease on her eyelids done. But considering plastic surgery was a common thing in Japan, barely knowing any Japanese woman in the higher circles who did not have anything done, Sophie did not find it surprising. Rather feeling sorry that the women didn't feel pretty enough and wanted to match the current beauty standards by letting doctors cut into them.
Nevertheless, Tamiko was beautiful, natural or not.
And the more she looked at Nari, the more she was noticing her soft features and elegant posture.
Akira did tell her Nari seemed rather cold and distant, being the only one he struggled to befriend from his new group, but when she watched her skate with so much elegance and grace, there was no surprise she has caught Yuzuru's attention.
Well, at least he is directing his attention to somebody who is interested in him the way he wants.
Ignoring the bitterness in her own thought, Sophie packed up her things and went to wait into the car, blasting pop songs and eventually joining the radio and singing along.
The next days were not any better, Yuzuru's coldness got to the point that he only greeted her with a nod to acknowledge she does exist and breathes the same air as he does, but that was it.
And so when the day of the interviews came, she waited anxiously in the car, making sure none of the cameras spot her and hoping that whatever was going through that guy's head will not affect her son's interview.
She let out a loud sigh of relief when Akira hopped into the car and talked her ear out about how great it all went, that nobody asked anything personal and he even got a chance to show them his special double Axel which they recorded.
For the whole world to see.
Sophie swallowed on empty on that part, but it was something she counted with for years. Out of all possible career options, her son had to choose the one that would bring him into the public eye. The space she was trying to escape so badly. But it was his choice and she could only hope she will manage to shield him, at least partly, from all the bad that comes with it.
The article with the written interview was online right on Friday morning, including the short video of him landing perfectly the double Axel from footwork and he spent the whole evening re-playing the video in slow motion, pointing out to her every single detail.
Both of them loving the most how nonchalantly he flung his hair after landing the jump and kicking his free leg into the air.
She made paella, one of his favorite dishes, as a celebration but kept hypnotizing her phone on the side, awaiting a message from her PR team. They were all prepared for the day of the article release, now scanning all other sites and what articles they were publishing.
It seemed none of them got the connection and when she put Akira to bed and retired to her own bedroom, she did kneel down and prayed it would stay like that just a little while longer.
Reading nasty things about herself was one thing, but she could not even imagine reading anything like that about her own child.
Another thing she wished for was that Yuzuru would keep his word and show up tomorrow morning, just as he promised to tell her everything. She didn't include that part in the prayer, finding it too shallow and most of all, way too naive.
But the hope was there and she could not fight it.
And she did wish he would have been there with her at 5 am when she woke up to her phone ringing, being informed by the PR team that a lot of negative articles are suddenly resurfacing.
She heard the reluctance in their voice when she asked them to send her the links and the blood drained from her face while she quickly skimmed through them.
According to her team, they were all coming out around the same time as if somebody would help to nudge the tabloids to the 'right' direction. They did inquire if they were tipped off, which few of the tabloids confirmed, but apparently, it was anonymous, and hence even bribing them would not work to reveal who did it.
Most of them did accept an almost unholy amount of money to take their articles down and those who still rejected getting paid off were about to be served with a suit against them by her legal team.
By 8 am in the morning even the most reluctant ones pulled back seeing the drafts of the suits and probably after running them through their own legal departments, they realized they could hardly fight against slandering a minor.
Yet the damage was already done, people reading those articles before they were taken down and sharing their biased opinions all over Twitter and Youtube.
Something she could not fight no matter how much money she would have.
When she finally made it out of the bedroom shortly after, it was clear that Akira did see those posts as well. He was playing on his Xbox, a fluffy pillow between his chest and the controller in his hands.
And used tissues all over the sofa.
She took a deep breath and went first into the kitchen, making several loads of popcorn until the largest bowl was filled.
Earlier that week, they did discuss plenty of times that it might all not go as great as he was painting it, yet one thing was to worry about something and the other actually living it.
And so she sat down right next to him, put the bowl in his view on the TV table, and wrapped her arm around his shoulders without saying a word.
With no hesitation he buried his head in her shoulder and started to sob, the controller slipping from his hands.
Sophie wrapped him into a tight embrace and went gently through his hair but stared at the ceiling to suppress her own tears. Because if she would cry as well, it would make him cry even more and do him no good.
Summoning the little leftovers of the stoic composure, she managed to keep it together and throughout the whole morning left his side only to bring new tissue boxes.
He didn't say anything, so she had no idea how much he actually read but given they went through three boxes, she only assumed it was way more than she wanted.
"Aki?" she said softly when it seemed he had no more tears to cry, "you know those are just opinions of some strangers on the internet, right?"
"I...I told everyone in the class about the interview," he mumbled and she closed her eyes, avoiding sighing out loud.
"And you will be the only one who will still remember it years later," she said, "they will forget all about it in a few days, believe me."
"Hm," he said and put his legs over her lap, pulling the popcorn into his own, "do you think that Yuzu will be mad at me?"
"Why on earth would he be mad at you?!"
He was staring at the pile of popcorn, going with his index finger through it and picking individual pieces, eating them slowly one by one.
"People are saying that he let himself be bribed to take me under his wings."
"I doubt he would care about opinions of stupid, dumbass, shit-for-a-face, assholes."
He chuckled and ate two pieces of popcorn at once.
Okay, that's an improvement.
"But he cares what his fans think of---"
"Those are not his fans," she interrupted him, trying to quickly come up with more insults, "they are just spiteful, little, um...." she made a pause and took a popcorn piece from the bowl, "they are like that one piece of popcorn from the whole bag that doesn't pop."
He snickered and though he still didn't lift his head, he grabbed several pieces at once and threw them in his mouth, "they are like cupcakes," he said thoughtfully, "but without the frosting."
"Ouch," Sophie giggled and added, "and without the cherry on top."
"And no chocolate chips inside."
"Hmmm," she mused, "they are like that Loki game of yours---"
"Loki Origins?!" he raised his head, eyes wide open.
"Yeah, that one," she said with a smirk, "but without the Xbox."
He laughed out loud but abruptly stopped, quickly exclaiming, "They are like that terrible kale smoothie Yuzu drinks!!"
Now it was Sophie who burst out laughing, still remembering the piles of slowly rotting kale she had to throw out from her fridge. Yuzuru not taking it with him when he left. For some reason.
"You know what Aki," she said looking into his grinning face, "I think we can agree that those people are the Brussel sprouts of the society."
"Ooooh," he said with a pretense shiver, "you are right, Brussel sprouts are the worst."
She ruffled his hair and they continued snacking on the popcorn, Akira finally stuffing full palms of it into his mouth like he always used to.
Though finding it pointless, she still checked her phone from time to time when they watched Naruto, wondering if she will be really making the Sukiyaki for only two.
And she did.
Only when she was filling the dishwasher, she finally got a text from him.
Yuzuru
13:28
Is Aki okay? I just saw the tweets.
Sophie
13:29
He had better days.
Yuzuru
13:29
I'm sorry. I will have my PR team make a statement.
Sophie
13:29
You know, he would be happier if you would talk to him.
Yuzuru
13:30
I will. On Monday.
She sighed and ran her hand through her hair, leaning against the kitchen counter.
Sophie
13:31
So I guess you are not coming today, right?
She saw the little note telling her that he is typing something, but it kept appearing and disappearing until finally, an answer came.
Yuzuru
13:33
No. I am sorry.
Sophie
13:33
And you will not tell me about Tamiko either, right?
Yuzuru
13:34
I am sorry. I changed my mind.
Sophie
13:34
You made a promise, you know.
Yuzuru
13:35
I don't think I promised that I will tell you.
Sophie
13:35
You promised you will not ditch me again as you did in Japan.
She once more saw how he was typing something but quickly beat him to it with another message.
Sophie
13:35
And if you are typing another 'sorry' please do me a favor and don't even bother.
After that, her phone went dark again and it didn't light up anymore.