The last three days have been like bliss, but still, there was this void, like I was missing something or someone precisely If I say.
my cousins came to our home for Uttarayan, It was all chaos and I was so busy in preparation and spending time with cousins and family that I hardly got time to talk with Jayraj.
My body was itching to see him.
God, I was missing him.
'Just call him, woman.'
What If he will think I am behaving like a teenager?
"F*CK it, I am going to call him."
I dialed his number but It was switched off.
What the hell?
He never switches off his phone.
Is he fine?
Calm down.
It might be some battery issue or a broken phone.
"Aaru beta."
The voice was sweet and cheerful, filled with love.
"Yes, Mumma?" I asked as she barged into my room.
No, Indian Mothers don't do knocking, it's their daughter's room so they have the unsaid right to barge into the room.
"We are going out to the movies, yayyyy."
She said in a cheery voice.
I rolled my eyes at her overexcited voice.
"Young lady, don't roll your eyes at Mumma."
She tried putting on a serious and angry face which she was failing miserably.
"We as in?"
"We as in You, me, and Ria."
"Did she come back?"
Ria went to meet the caretaker aunty of the orphanage.
She single-handedly used to run the orphanage but now that she was very old and ill, she closed down the orphanage recently and that made Ria very sad.
I wish I could do something for her but the matter was out of our hands as Orphanage has been already closed.
And even If it wasn't close then also I don't have the resources to keep it running.
"Yes, she is downstairs, and stop with all this interrogation. Get ready for a movie and dinner. This will cheer up Ria too."
This time it was an order.
"Dinner?"
"Yes, dinner after the movie, sounds like a good plan, right?"
Well, It was not a question so I didn't feel like answering.
In normal situations, I would be very excited,
Watching a movie with Ria and Mumma has been our ritual but I was gloomy because certain someone did not call and his phone was switched off.
"Send Ria here, we need to get ready."
Instead of dialing Jayraj this time, I sent a text.
I miss you, I am going out for the movies and having dinner with Mom and Ria. Call me If you are free later at night.
I again checked my cell to see his reply but his phone was off.
"He will get it whenever he switches on his phone, Aaru."
Ria said.
After my light makeup and curled hair, I wore white jeans and a top.
Guess what?
These white tight jeans are very hard to wear. I wish you were here to help me.
I laughed evilly thinking of his expression reading this message.
I loveeee to tease him.
IT'S RARE for me to cry while watching a movie but this time I was crying inconsolably.
A small reason was patriotism but mostly I was crying because of the love between Vikram and Dimple.
I can not imagine the pain and turmoil Dimple went through.
What will I do If something will happen to Jayraj?
How can I survive life without him?
I can not stand him not being in my life.
While sex has played a big part in our relationship, it isn’t what had kept me glued to him.
What kept me glued was,
His attentively looking out for me, he made sure to always have one vegetarian protein source on the table at every meal, every day.
Changing the saving cream the next day when I told him that I didn't like the smell of it.
He took out time from work to spend with me which is a huge thing for a man like him.
Even during sex, my pleasure, My comfort ness matter more than his. The aftercare is like running a hot bath for me or wiping me with a hot towel afterward, applying lip balm on my chapped lips before I sleep, and most importantly, sleeping while holding me tightly.
I am glued to him because he fulfills every need and wants of mine even before I voice it out.
I love it when the small smile broke out on his face when I smile or laugh and a proud look on his face when he thinks he is the reason behind it.
Is this love?
This constant feeling of a void, frequently missing him, thinking about him.
God, Am I in love with the man who was only interested in casual?
I knew falling in love was never his option but deep down I knew not falling in love with him was also not an option for me.
Last month I have been happier. Jayraj took me to the corners of filling that I never knew existed for me.
He had done things for me that nobody had ever done.
He truly cared for me as a partner.
He showed me his vulnerable part, the mischievous and crazy part, the tenderness that the world thought he was not capable of.
"What happened to I-don't-cry-during -movie," Ria asked.
I was missing him.
My eyes felt with new tears.
I blinked them away.
"But it is Biopic," I replied while sobbing.
The whole truth of it being real was more emotional.
"Still a movie."
She gave me the tissue and took one for her as she was also crying.
"Aaru, you sure everything is fine?" Mumma asked as we made our way out of the cinema.
"Yes, Mumma. I think I am PMSing. You know na, how hormones took over my rationality on those days."
"If you say so."
I heard Mom in the background as I opened my phone to see a text message from Rathod.
I would rather prefer to remove it off.
I laughed.
Man will be a man.
"What?"
I asked as Mom and Ria stared at me like I lost a screw or two.
"A colleague sent me a joke."
I said nonchalantly.
"Really? Please let me read the joke too. We also want to laugh, right Aunty?"
I glared at Ria.
"Mom where are we going for dinner?"
I tried to change the topic.
"Tinello. Hyatt Regency, your dad will join us there."
...
During the whole ordering of our food, I was distracted.
My mind was not allowing me to think of anything other than his thoughts.
For that, you need to be here but unfortunately, you are not.
So I will help myself. I may run my fingers here and there.
Wish you were here to do that. -- Aarna
Your wish, my command ma'am. -- Jayraj
Wait!
Really? How would you fulfill my wish from there? -- Aarna
I have my ways. And don't let your fingers touch what is mine unless I tell you to do so. -- Jayraj
His ways?
Sounds like all talks and no work.
-- Aarna
"Aaru, you look flushed. Everything okay?"
"Yes, Mom."
My eyes went to a dimly lit corner where a man with the same height and body as Jayraj was standing with his back in view.
His back looked like Jayraj's.
Is he him?
"Don't lie. I know something is up with you and it's not about the movie. Is it?"
I stay silent.
I looked at the corner again and it was empty.
God, now I am hallucinating too.
But I wish he was here.
"Answer me, Are you seeing someone? Is this about a man?"
"It's not like that mumma."
"Okay If you say so." She took a dramatic pause before continuing,
"You know Rina, my friend from college, his son also works in Delhi. He is an IFS officer and is working in the PM office. He is coming tomorrow."
"You guys can meet for coffee or something, I don't think it would be a problem If you are single."
Say no. You are not going out with a man and tell her you are not single.
What the hell?
I looked around me frantically.
And then I saw a man in a blue suit, eyes burning with anger, jaw tight, sitting in a way that screams power, at the table behind Mom.
My heart was thumping.
He was there, for me.
"Aaru, did you see a ghost or something?"
Ria asked.
"No, I need to go to the ladies' room."
"You are not going anywhere."
Mom said,
"I am not five Mom."
"I know you are giving excuses to ignore the talk. I am going to book a table for you both. You are going to meet him. It's an order and you are going to follow it unless you already have a man in your life."
"Yes, I am seeing a man. And I don't want to talk about it, not here not now."
I stood up angrily and went towards the restroom.
A hand held my arms from behind and pushed the door to the ladies' room with another.
I didn't yell as I knew who he was, the familiar smell of him told me he was my man.
Without a word, he pushed me to the wall and crashed his lips down to mine.
I could feel the longing, and It made me happy that I was not the only one who was in hell without the other one.
A lone tear escaped from my eyes.
His eyes searched mine as he spoke,
"I missed you."
I hugged him tightly.
And that was enough to trigger all the pent down emotions.
And I broke down, right there putting my head on his shoulder, I cried.
Cried for falling in love with a man who does not know what love is.
Cried for my blank future.
Cried for losing him.
"Aarna, what happened?"
He ran his hand on my back to calm me down.
"Hey, you are scaring me."
He said with a worried tone.
He removed my head from his shoulder and cupped my face,
"Tell me what happened?" He asked while looking into my eyes, almost panicked.
Is it about your mom?"
I shook my head.
"Then what happened?
Please tell me, I can not see tears in your eyes. It f*cking slays me from the inside."
"Tell me, You will not le-leave me, e-ever." I finally spoke,
"What?
Why would I leave you?"
"I watched a movie today, the hero died leaving behind the girl, alone.
I don't want to live without you."
He closed his eyes for a second and replied in his no-shit tone,
"I will not leave you, now calm down."
"God woman, you scared the shit out of me. I thought something bad transpired."
He kissed me slowly, with devotion this time and I kissed him back, with love.
"Why are you here?"
"Isn't that obvious? I am here to see you and maybe to take you back with me."
"Why do you think I will come back with you?"
"My convincing and negotiating skills are best, that's why I am the best businessman."
I rolled my eyes at his cockyness.
"Are you staying here?"
He nodded his head.
"If you want I can stay at your home, you know help you with removing those jeans of yours."
"My parents are there."
"But you can stay here, with me."
He said.
I ignored it and asked,
"Did you trace me down or this is just a coincidence?"
"My PA booked a room here, four hours ago."
Okay, so he didn't trace me down.
Improvement.
I realized how happy I became seeing him, how happy he made me, and how I cared about him.
I hugged him again this time with a smile on my face.
There was love and peace that just slid over me and I relaxed instantly in his arms. I could feel the vibration of his beating heart on my cheeks.
My body was telling my brain what I already knew.
He is the one for me, my man.
I love him.
"Introduce me to them."
Introducing him?
God, Aarna. You love him, they are your parents, they deserved to know him and about him.
"Let's go then."
We went outside hand in hand.
He was trying to play it cool, but I knew he was nervous.
His hand was sweating like he was standing under the sun of summer and not in a central A.C. restaurant.
"Good evening papa, how was your work today?"
I side-hugged Papa.
"Who is he?"
Instead of replying, he directly asked, eyeing Jayraj from top to bottom.
"Oh, he is Jayraj," I said.
"Uncle, he is Jayraj Singh Rathod. Aarna's new boss." Ria elaborated.
"Rathod, as in Rathod enterprise?"
He eyed our joint hands.
Okay! Aarna, This is it.
"Ji, Papa. We are seeing each other."
"She meant we are in a relationship, a very serious one."
Jayraj added.
"Hello, Mr. Patel." He held out his hand.
"Mr. Rathod." my dad took his hand.
I introduced him to my mom who welcomed him warmer than my dad.
I took my seat opposite Mom, Ria, and Jayraj were seating at my side.
While dad and Mom were opposite us.
And there was some kind of showdown between Papa and Jayraj.
He reached over, took my hand, and ran his thumb over my knuckles.
I felt that familiar charge, the pull of electricity.
I wanted him. My body was dying to have him.
I winked at him, smiling slyly, and saw a smile play on his face.
"Mrs. Patel, take this. It's made from Quinoa. Quinoa is very good for diabetic patients."
Mom looked at him with surprise.
"Aarna mentioned it." He answered her unasked question.
Nope, I didn't.
He is lying, mom.
This caring move of his impressed Mom If the charming smile he gave earlier didn't charm her already.
"She never mentioned you before."
She looked at me with accusation.
"Now you know, mom."
Jayraj looked at silent Ria who was playing with her food and looked at me with questions.
I am sure silent Ria must be a shock for him.
"Laters,"
I murmured.
The orphanage was still running in her mind, I guess."
I heard the cricket talk between Jayraj and Papa.
The tension in the air was thinning down.
God this man knows how to talk, what to talk.
How did he know dad is crazy about cricket?
He was trying to appear less Alpha like but It was hard as every word that left his mouth, every gesture he made was Alpha like.
I looked at everyone at the table, my family.
My parents, my best friend cum my sister, last but not least the love of my life.
It sounded incredible, my man.
"So I am all in for the action that I said in words, are you?"
He spoke in a whisper near my ears.