Once Sophie heard the TV from the living room, she figured that Akira is not coming back and wondered if Yuzuru is there with him. Maybe he just found the whole story too personal and thought he might be invading their privacy or something. But for her, it was the opposite. Akira so rarely ever mentioned his dad to anyone except her, that she was always ecstatic when he was willing to talk about him with an outsider.
Or maybe she was simply reading too much into it and since the story was already over he just went to the bathroom or something.
But it was still making her curious what he thought and so she reached for her clutches and hopped to the living room.
When not seeing him there, she moved to the kitchen but had no luck there either. And so she at least heated up lunch for Akira, letting him eat it by the TV, and made it back towards her bedroom, knocking on Yuzuru's door.
She heard some shuffling on the other side and after a moment he called for her to come in.
"Why are you hiding here?" she asked giddily and hopped towards the bed. He was sitting on the edge, though from the imprint on the duvet it looked like he was lying on it just a moment ago.
"I am not hiding," he replied with a smile that seemed completely fake and she sat down next to him.
"I don't mind that you heard the story," she told him reassuringly, "quite the opposite. I am always glad when Aki is willing to talk about his dad with somebody else. And I enjoy talking about Akio too."
"Why?"
"What do you mean, why?"
"Why do you like talking about Akio?" he elaborated, "Doesn't it make you sad?"
"It makes me happy, Yuzu," she explained, "he was such an amazing guy and I don't want him to be forgotten. Especially by Aki, but if more people would learn how great he was, even better."
"But it must hurt so much to talk about him," he countered, "since he died so young."
Sophie sighed, understanding what he means, and put her hand on his knee, "you know, the tumor in his brain would be there even if he wouldn't have met me. No matter what, he would have died that young. But he kept saying, that thanks to us, he can leave in peace. If he wouldn't have met me, he would be dying and regretting he never got a chance to fall in love or to have a family. And maybe we did it way too soon, but if it wouldn't be that way, he would pass away without knowing what it's like to be a father. So he said he is leaving without any regrets and that is such a rare blessing. So I am happy I could give that to him. That thanks to me, one great guy found his death less scary than the others."
"But I mean you," he put his head in his hands, staring at the wall, "you were left completely alone."
"I have Aki."
He didn't say anything to it and so she moved closer, moving her hand from his knee and putting it around his shoulders.
"It might be different for me, Yuzu, because he didn't die suddenly. We had months of him in bed and whithering away when we talked about death a lot. And I worked in the hospice before, I have seen many people die. And even though there is not a single thing that would make me think his death was for a reason or some higher stupid plan, it still happened and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. So I choose to focus on the positive things. It's enough I have the fear of the small spaces or a constant fear over something happening to Aki. If I was to also drown myself in negative thoughts over my childhood or Akio's death I would go insane."
"But how do you it?"
"Do what?"
He raised his head and turned to her, scanning her face, "focus on the positives so the past doesn't haunt you. How?"
"I don't know," she answered, "I just do."
He was looking at her with such sad eyes, complete defeat and surrender reflected in that somber expression, and so she quickly tried to think of a way of how to make him see the good things.
"Since you married Tamiko, I assume she was your first true love? Like that feeling when you can't even fall asleep without wondering what she is doing and waking up with the thought of her again?"
"Yes," he whispered and his eyes were immediately watering.
"But that is a good thing!"
"H-How?"
"Wasn't it a nice feeling back then?"
"Well, yes, but--"
"No but. Remember that. How it made you feel and how amazing that feeling was and be happy you got a chance to experience it."
"But--"
"Did she make you laugh?"
"Yes, b---"
"Was it that kind of laughter when you end up rolling on the floor, your belly muscles aching and can't catch a breath?"
He paused for a moment, chuckling as he recalled something, and nodded, "yeah..."
"Did she cheat on you with anyone?"
"No."
"Were you ever worried she would?"
"Not really, no," he answered thoughtfully, "I was just a bit jealous because she was so beautiful and everyone was staring at her, but she would have never cheated on me."
"And was it a nice feeling? Looking into the eyes of the person you love and knowing they are all yours? That they are faithful to the love you share?"
"Well, of course, b---"
"So focus on that. Remember that. Be glad you got a chance to experience such wonderful things."
"But---"
"Nevermind how it ended. The good memories are still there and---"
"Sophie!" he interrupted her, removing her hand from his shoulders, "my case is completely different than yours. The way we ended tainted every single good thing we did together. Every single memory."
"That can't be, Yuzu. Just try to---"
"No."
He said it so sternly and coldly that she only sighed and did not try to convince him anymore. At that moment her phone buzzed and she took it out from the pocket of her hoodie, reading the text message.
"Everything alright?" he questioned, "any news about your mother?"
"No," she smiled, "it's just Lewis. Wishing me belated Merry Christmas."
"Oh," he let out, "you in touch often?"
"Well, we went for a coffee last week. I needed some more excuses to be away in the last few afternoons so that Aki can get used to his new au pair and that I can test him as well."
"And did you enjoy it?" he asked carefully, "The coffee with Lewis."
"Yeah, I did," she answered absentmindedly while staring at the phone and typing a reply, "we are planning to meet up again after New Year."
He didn't say anything more while she was typing and when done, she looked up back at him, wondering what his uncomfortable expression is supposed to mean.
"Are you jealous that you won't be my only friend in the whole country of Canada?" she laughed and poked his sides, but he didn't react, "You know, you actually make up for ten people with your multiple personality disorder, so I would say Lewis would be my eleventh friend."
He still didn't say anything for a moment before just quietly blurting out, "Tracy. She is fun. You would like Tracy I think. You should try to hang out with her."
Sophie laughed and moved further onto the bed to sit with her leg stretched as it was already hurting way too much in her current position.
"I think for my twelfth friend I would like to find somebody outside of TCC," she chuckled, "my new assistant is really fun actually, but he just got himself a girlfriend and can't talk about anything else. Just freshly in love and wants to spend every waking moment with her."
"Your assistant is a guy?" he asked surprised, "I thought you would have picked out a girl."
"Well, it was a close call, it was down to him and one lady, but his Japanese was better. He is one of those westerners who are obsessed with anything Japanese and are just glorifying that country. So he was super enthusiastic when he found out the job would require also trips to Japan and I knew he would be trying extra hard to keep the job."
"Hmm," Yuzuru hummed and suddenly a doorbell buzzed.
"That must be Elliot," she said and started to get off the bed.
"Who?!"
"Elliot," she said standing up with the crutches and moving to the door, "Aki's sitter."
"Do you have any women around you at all?!!!!" he called after her when she was already in the hallway and she started to wonder if maybe she could be accused of sexism if the public would know she does employ more men than women. On the other hand, it was Akira who picked Elliot and her assistant was simply better than the other contender. So she quickly pushed the thought away and opened the door, letting Elliot in.
He was tall with dark hair that was a contrast to his light blue eyes and his flawlessly smooth skin was giving him a childlike appearance, making him look even younger than he already was. He was in his mid-twenties and she would usually not employ such a young au pair, but he used to work already for a high-profile family with two kids in L.A. and through them gained various training that she always thought are only for nannies for the Royal family or something.
"Ah, Misses S.!" he greeted her with a hug and a quick peck on the cheek, leaving behind a slight imprint of a lip balm and a soft smell of some flowery aftershave.
Could he be any gayer?
She thought and returned his wide smile, letting him know that he doesn't have to undress, already hearing Akira running around and getting ready.
A moment later her son slid to them on his socks, his winter hat in hand and scarf askew around his neck.
Elliot immediately took over and fixed the scarf, to Akira's dislike also stuffing the hat on his head. But then he pulled it all the way down, making him laugh, and let him arrange it on his own in front of the hallway mirror.
"He finished lunch just a moment ago, so maybe don't start on any crazy roller-coasters."
"Noted, Misses S.," he said playfully and gave her a quick wink, "no throwing up mid-air for today."
"Hmm," Akira mused, looking up at Elliot, "what would happen if I would need to throw up on that ride where there is that pressure against you that you can't even blink?"
"You would probably choke to death, I think," he said thoughtfully with a wide grin and Sophie's eyes widened in horror.
"Don't worry, Misses S.," he reassured, seeing her expression, "I will make sure he throws up everything before we go on that ride."
She sighed and both boys laughed as she waved them away, giving a quick kiss to Akira and then hopping into the living room, finally having the TV for herself.
She was just texting her security guy that she hired from time to time when Yuzuru came over to the living room, looking around.
"Where is Aki?"
"Elliot took him to an amusement park."
"Why?"
"Because he would drive us both nuts if he wouldn't get out. You should have seen it when we were locked up for the few days before Christmas day, you coming here literally saved my ----"
"No, I mean why with that Elliot guy?"
Hearing the displeased tone, Sophie finished her text and raised her head to Yuzuru who was standing in front of her, looking positively upset.
"Because he is his new au-pair and---"
"I mean why not with me!" he huffed and dug his hands in his pockets.
Sophie gaped at him for a second and then cocked her head to the side, watching him while he was mindlessly kicking into the leg of the TV table.
"Don't you trust me with him?" he sneered after a moment, "you watch me train with him every single day, I---"
"Yuzu," she interrupted, "you are doing a great job as a coach and as his friend, but Elliot already took care of plenty of kids before. I can depend on him that he would recognize when Aki is cold even when he claims he is not, that he would make sure to arrange his scarf over his mouth and nose when they would go on a roller-coaster, to know how much candy floss is enough for his little body before he starts to puke. It's all the little things one does learn only by taking care and raising kids."
Yuzuru inhaled to say something but she quickly raised her hand to stop him.
"I am not saying that I would never let you take Aki out on your own, it's just that it's so soon that it honestly didn't even cross my mind. And even for Elliot, since he is new, I have my security guy tailing them to make sure Elliot doesn't lose sight of Aki even for a second."
He hung his shoulders, finally letting the poor table be, and moved to sit down next to her, automatically raising her leg on the table and putting a pillow underneath.
"You have a security guy?" he asked, this time with a normal tone.
"I use one particular agency, but since we moved to Toronto, this guy I like the most, so I called him last night if he would be available for today. Just as a last test of Elliot."
"Hmm," he mused, "but you left me here alone with Aki when you went to the gym."
His voice was now sad again, reminding her of Akira when he was coming to terms with something she declined to do for him.
"It's because you were in the flat," she said softly, "when outside, it's just different. Like Elliot even has a course of driving on ice or knows self-defense."
"I am a really good driver," he pressed himself into the sofa and watched his hands in his lap, "and I would give my life for Aki."
Sophie chuckled and he shot her an annoyed look, "sorry, Yuzu, but it's easier said than done."
His annoyed looked leveled up to a deadly glare and Sophie hurried with some damage control, "what I mean is, if something would have happened, Elliot knows how to defend both himself and Aki. And I mean properly. With his previous family, some crazy person tried to kidnap one of the daughters for a ransom and he managed to tackle that guy and hold him down until the police arrived."
"So you wouldn't trust me with Aki just because I don't know some stupid kung-fu?"
"Oh my," she sighed, "please don't make out of it a bigger deal than it actually is. Just blame it on my paranoia, okay?"
"Hm."
"Yuzuuu," she whined, putting her arm around his shoulders and swaying with him, "we have now like four to five hours of alone time. Do you really wanna spend it all grumpy and annoyed? Shouldn't you be the one to understand me the best when it comes to paranoia?"
"I am not paranoid anymore," he said sternly, dodging her gaze, "that is when it comes to you. After the Akio story, you told us this morning."
"Oh?" she raised her eyebrows in surprise, "what exactly about the story caused it? And actually, I always wondered what exactly were you paranoid about with me?"
"Stuff."
"What stuff?"
"Stuff."
"Like?"
"Just stuff."
"For example?"
The corner of his lips began to twitch and she continued trying to catch his gaze with a playful smile.
"What stuff, Yuzu?"
"Please don't go into that annoying mode of yours again."
She poked his side and started to slowly tickle him, watching the sparks of amusement filling his eyes.
"You seem to be enjoying my annoying mode," she chuckled and he crossed his arms, ignoring the tickling but not able to suppress his own smile anymore.
"I am not enjoying it!" he growled, "you are driving me insane!" he started to dodge the tickling attempts, clearly not able to pretend anymore that he isn't ticklish.
"So what stuff?"
"No stuff!!"
She laughed and he caught her wrist which she quickly replaced with her other hand and continued to provoke him. "What stuff, Yuzuuuu!! Tell meeee!! Or else---"
In a split second, he grabbed her other wrist too and swiftly sat across her stomach pushing her into the sofa and pinning both of her hands to the back of it.
"Or else what, Sophie-chan?" he grinned, his face right above hers.
She stared into his eyes, breathing rapidly from the shock, and watched his grin fade into a dark look with no traces of the amused sparks that were there just a moment ago. He let go of her hands but stayed straddling her and then just said with a heavy sigh "you really are the death of me, aren't you?"
"Oh," she chuckled, "so it's my annoyance that's driving you nuts? Is that what you meant the other day?"
So if I annoy him enough he would tell me?
"Yeah," he sighed again and got off of her, "that's what I meant."
"Well, in that case," she rubbed her hands together with a mischievous grin, just about to start going full annoyed mode when Yuzuru stood up.
"Wait a moment please," he said, taking the pillow from underneath her leg, "I just thought of one thing that could help you with the pain."
She looked up at him all confused, kind of bummed that he interrupted the fun moment with his seriousness but the constant pain was indeed irritating, so she let him do what he wanted, planning to start playfully nagging him right after.
He asked her to lie down on the sofa with her legs at the end of it and when she did, he again put some pillows under the foot. She wondered what is supposed to be the difference just as he lied down on his back next to her and just like last night pulled her up to lie across half of his body, her head again on his chest.
She still did not feel any difference in the pain with the new position and he reached for the remote control, selecting some random movie on Netflix.
"What is----"
"Wait a moment please," he said frowning, "I am not done yet."
She rolled her eyes and gave up obeying, inhaling to start singing out of tune again. But the moment she did, he pressed his palm against her mouth and the first loud sound came out completely muffled. Sophie immediately reached for his hand to remove it but he pressed it against her even more and she started to struggle to develop enough power to take it off her mouth, feeling him giggle underneath her.
Stop it!!
She tried to say but it was coming out so muffled that it was only an incoherent sound.
"Can't hear you Sophie-chan," he chuckled, "what did you say?"
I said stop it!!
She tried to arch herself to get off of him but the pain from her leg shot through her and it began to dawn on her that the way he positioned her prevented her from leaving.
Let go of me, you idiot!!
He laughed and pressed his hand on her even more, turning her head to the TV screen.
"Sorry," he said still laughing, "I still can't understand you. Let's watch the movie, quietly, until you figure out how to talk normally."
You stupid, idiotic, smart-ass ----
"What did you say?" he chuckled, "that I am wonderful and smart?"
So you can understand me?!!
"I can understand you just fine," he answered, "you just said that I am smart and funny."
She growled and dug her nails into his thigh but he immediately pulled that hand away with his free hand and pressed it into her stomach, holding it down in place. She tried to squirm again but was now completely pinned with no more options to do anything.
I hate you!!
"Oh," he let out with clear entertainment, "you love me? How sweet. But you are missing the start of the movie, dear."
He turned her head once more to the screen and she angrily growled one last time before giving up and letting him win this round.
They watched the full movie with his hand over her mouth, Yuzuru pressing it slightly harder anytime she moved just to show her he is still in full alert mode and would not let her get away without a fight.
When the final credits started to roll on the screen, he finally relaxed and remove his hands, putting them under his head.
"Well, that was fun, wasn't it?" he said and she turned her head up to his idiotic grin.
"You will hear from my lawyers!" Sophie growled and sat up, reaching for her clutches to go to the bathroom.
"Sorry, Sophie," he chuckled, "but you can't blame me for the movie being bad. I selected it at random."
"Idiot," she muttered and went to hop on the clutches away from him.
"Interesting," he said amused, "considering you have such a colorful vocabulary in cussing, I am surprised you keep calling me just an idiot."
Sophie inhaled and with each hop away started cursing him in Spanish; "moronic, smart-ass, absolutely and utterly irritating----" she inhaled to say 'asshole' but even though it was in a language he could not understand she still could not make herself to say it. Because the movie wasn't that bad. And she had fun. And he was not an asshole.
"Idiota," she muttered just as she turned the corner, annoyed with herself that she was not able to properly cuss somebody she liked even when they deserved it.
When she made it back, her phone beeped with a text from Elliot letting her know that everything is going fine and that Akira did not throw up anything he ate yet and therefore she should not count on him for dinner. Shortly after she got a text from the security guy, letting her know that Elliot is doing a perfect job so far, not letting her son out of sight even for a second.
She smiled with satisfaction and sat down on the sofa, keeping her distance from Yuzuru.
"Lewis texting you again?" he asked and gave her one of those smiles that did not reach his eyes.
"Nope."
"So who is it this time?"
"Curious much?"
"Just trying to start a conversation."
"Oh really?" she smiled, "interesting, considering last two hours you kept me in a hold without a chance of letting out a word."
"That's because you were giving me a headache, so---"
"Please don't say that," she suddenly interrupted him and he frowned back at her.
"What do you mean?"
"That I am giving you a headache," she said quickly and bit her lip, reaching for the remote control and putting some first world war documentary on the background, "now I will select what I wanna watch."
Yuzuru ignored the second remark and scooted closer to be next to her with a concerned expression.
"What's with the headache?" he asked carefully and Sophie leaned back into the sofa, going with her hand over her injured thigh and gently massaging it.
"Nothing," she answered and kept her gaze fixed on the TV screen.
He took her hand away from her thigh and kept holding it, staring at the side of her face with his scrutinizing look.
"Does it have to do something with Akio?" he asked quietly and she tilted her head backwards, staring at the ceiling to keep the tears in.
"Leave it be."
"Please tell me."
"I said," she quietly grunted, first tear making its escape, "leave it be, Yuzuru."
"Okay," he mumbled and let go of her hand, instead sliding with his arm under her back and pulling her closer, "I won't say it again."
She kept staring at the ceiling and after few deep breaths, she looked back down, once more trying to concentrate on the documentary but failing to keep her focus.
"Akio always used to say that," she said after a long time of silence, "we rarely ever fought, and when we did, it always ended up in laughter anyway. And he always theatrically put his hand against the spot on his forehead where he hit the lamp post and said 'oh, you are causing me a headache again, ang---" she didn't finish and instead started to massage her injured thigh again.
Yuzuru didn't say anything to it but once more removed her hand from the leg and kept it in his.
"And I always laughed at that," she continued after a moment, "recalling the scene when he hit the lamp. It was just our thing. That line. To end every fight before it would escalate. But then one day he started to get proper headaches."
He squeezed her just a little bit tighter but otherwise didn't say a word and soon after Sophie pushed the sad memory away and started to focus properly on the documentary, telling him her insights. Soon the conversation turned again to one of those they used to have in Japan at the rink during Akira's breaks.
"And that's Sophie, The Duchess of Hohenberg," she said as they showed the black and white image on the screen and she muted the sound, "She was the wife of Franz Ferdinand, the archduke of Austria and the heir to Austro-Hungarian throne. And this one woman caused two world wars."
"What?" Yuzuru asked surprised, "the war was started by the assassination of the archduke."
"Well," Sophie elaborated, "these documentaries don't go enough into the details. They tend to leave out the romantic parts."
"In that case, I am all ears," he said with a smile and she happily wiggled, always glad to share a good story.
"So, unlike many other royal marriages in those times, Franz truly loved Sophie, but even though she was one of the nobles, she did not have a dynastic rank. He was expected to marry somebody else, but then his locket containing Sophie's picture was found and started a scandal. He refused to give her up and on the 28th of June, 1900, he announced her as his future wife. Does the date seem familiar?"
"Yeah, well the 28th of June 1914 was his assassination in Sarajevo that started the war."
"Good," she praised him, "remember the date."
He laughed at her story building and she carried on.
"Franz still had to sign that she would not get the title of an empress and their children would not be heirs to the throne, but he did not care. They were just simply in love. Though they could not go anywhere together in public. The royal courts were not sending them invites, she could not accompany him anywhere on official business and they barely saw each other due to his duties. Nevertheless, they still had three children and tried to steal every moment they could get together anytime they got a chance."
"But if they couldn't get anywhere together, how come she was with him in the open car at the parade where they got killed?"
"That's the thing," she said, "she was not supposed to be there. He was not supposed to take the open car. None of it was supposed to happen. But when he was requested to travel to Bosnia and Herzegovina, he asked to be invited as a military commander rather than a royal personage. That way she was allowed to accompany him and he saw it as a chance for them to celebrate the announcement of their marriage fourteen years ago. As an anniversary. That he would take the open car with her and just simply make a date out of it."
"Shit."
"Yup," she continued, "they threw a grenade at their car but missed, hitting the one behind them. Franz and Sophie made it to safety but he wanted to go to the hospital to see the ones who got hurt in his stead. Sophie refused to leave his side and so they drove together. The driver took a wrong turn, going through the more dangerous streets, and just as he was slowly reversing to go back, they were approached by one of the assassins. Franz got shot into his neck and Sophie then fell on him with a shot in her stomach. One version says he was shouting at her to stay alive for their kids, whereas the other story says she was holding her hands to his neck wound while he was dying in her arms. Either way, they were both dead within an hour."
"Oh, my..."
"And as we all know, the economy ban that was put on Germany after the first world war then allowed Hitler to rise to his power, rallying people in believe for better tomorrows."
"Hmmm."
"But if Franz was allowed to publicly love and acknowledge his wife, if he wouldn't try to find a way how to celebrate their anniversary and proudly show her to the world, none of it might have happened."
"That's sad," Yuzuru said gloomily but Sophie turned to him with a smile.
"That's life, Yuzu."
She unmuted the TV and though she was again paying attention to the documentary, she saw that Yuzuru was lost in his own thoughts, only here and there glancing at her.
"Did they at least got buried together?" he asked long after the documentary finished and she was just about to go and take a shower.
"Yeah," she got up and started to hop away, "she could not get buried in the imperial crypt but it was his wish that they have to be together, so they got buried in a crypt of one of the castles in Austria."
"Good."
Sophie paused just before she turned the corner and looked back at Yuzuru, "we can go there next year if you are interested. I wanted to take Aki there if he would have a competition nearby and make a trip out of it. They have their museum there and he loves the story. So you could join us if you like."
He gave her a soft smile but it looked somewhat sad, "yeah, I would love that."
She smiled back at him and returned to her quest to get to the bathroom, thinking that if this is what the story did to him, she should refrain from telling him about the Russian Romanov family and how they all ended.
Let's stick to the happy history stories with this guy...
She thought and started to plan how to stay awake, yet manage to look like she is asleep tonight. Because now it was her turn to get an insight into his head.