The ever-long hall of this bastion of weird shit keeps being weirder and weirder as we reach the third floor, with Brayden in front of me and Jungkook(?) and Harry(?) following close behind. We pass the Watching Room, which has a single eye looking at me, staring into my soul, reminding me that my time as a mortal is but a speck of dust hitching a ride in a hurling rock at the far reaches of an ever-expanding galaxy, and that trillions upon trillions have come before me, and shall come after me. I am nothing. We are nothing. Oblivion is our only escape from our meaningless existence. Memento Mori.
We also pass the ice cream room. They have pistachio. That's my favorite flavor.
"Are you sure there aren't any other bathrooms available?" I say, with a rumbling in my tummy. "I mean, there are three floors, at least. One would think with so many rooms there should be more shitters."
"Well, Kitten, there is a shit room right there," he says, pointing at a room next to the "Giggles" room. Wonder if they're connected somehow. "But I understand your query. Father is a paranoid man, and made this place to be as confusing as possible as a defense mechanism. We hired a maid twelve years ago, and she disappeared from these halls after wandering for three days and nights. Legend has it that you can still hear her ask for directions to the rest room. Not to be confused with the resting room."
"Or the restings room," says Jungkook(?). "That's where we keep the rest of the people we wack."
"But we don't whack people in the whacking room," says Harry(?).
"See? A complicated affair, this place is," says Brayden.
Query? Complicated affair? Mechanism? Those are big-boy words. This is starting to smell foul, but that might as well be the "Shit" room. Wonder if I can go in there and-
"Here we are," says Brayden, pointing at a room that says "Thing 2." Well, that's confusing all right. Never would've guests this was a bedroom.
Brayden opens up the door and... I don't know what I expected, but this is not. When it comes to Brayden, I expected wall-to-wall posters of BTS, 1D, and everything in between. Maybe a life-size cut-out of a singer, and lots of pastel colors. This place is something else. Everything is colored steel blue, and very minimalistic. No clothes tossed around, nor makeup smeared everywhere. Kind of anticlimactic, really. The only thing that stands out is the bed, a huge thing that would fit two separate, if equally disgusting orgies, with grey satin sheets.
Can we as a society keep thinking satin belongs in a bed? Sliding out of bed every day like a penguin on ice is not a good way to start a day, people. Fuck off with that shit.
Brayden walks towards the end of the room and opens a door, showing a steel-blue bathroom on the other side. Everything is the same color. The toilet, the tub, the walls, all the exact same colors. I stumble in and hit my damn shin three steps in because I couldn't make out the toilet from the damn wall. I hate it here. Please, end me.
I sit down on the toilet, staring at Brayden's eyes, because he's yet to close the damn door. "Uh, a little privacy?"
He just stands there in a daze, giving me bedroom eyes, because he's in the bedroom, biting his lips. "Don't mind me, Kitten."
"Well, I mind me," I say.
He gives me a lopsided smile and steps backward, closing the door.
Finally, time to end my suffering, starting with a huge stream of frothy dad piss, like good lager beer... or so I would say. I hear a whirring sound. Something small and mechanical, kinda like a oh god dammit. There's a damn camera in the corner of the room, painted just as blue as the rest of the room, with a red-blinking light and all. Nothing closes my sphincter more than being filmed without my consent. I know shitting is the great equalizer but c'mon.
I stand up, not even shaking my wee-wee of extra pee, and storm out of the bathroom to see Brayden shove a laptop and a pair of earphones under the bed. "Damn, Kitten, were you frying chicken in there? Just kidding. But you're a loud pisser, and I like that."
I definitely need an adult. "Look, I better get back. Hayden's waiting for me, and I'm sure... ugh, Y/N is waiting for you. So, why don't we go back and-"
He stands up in a flash, closing the space between us. He pushes me against the wall, or gently shoves me, given the size difference, and tries, failing miserably, to pin me with both his arms. "Let them wait for a while. I haven't gotten much exposure this season, and no one-on-one scenes with you. So, why not have a chapter with just me, kitten?"
Well, this is a meta-surprise... and I guess he's right. I thought he hated me for what I've done. Maybe this is his way to try and mend the friendship. Okay, we have like, what, a thousand words to finish the chapter? It won't hurt anybody, right?
"Alright, you win," I say, pushing him away with two fingers. "Let's have a Brayden chapter."
"Excellent. Truly excellent," he says. "Just us, being buddies. Me, being definitely Brayden, and... Jayden?"
"Ayden."
"That. So, Jayden, do you wish to see my playroom?"
I have a bad feeling about this.
Brayden snaps his fingers, making Jungkook open a door opposite to the bathroom. What lies beyond is something I could've never thought I would see here. I don't even think I conjugated that right.
There is a huge T.V with two poofs and a Nintendo Switch. Honestly, I thought it was gonna be some kinky shit. Brayden grabs a controller and starts the Switch, sitting on one of the poofs.
"Well, I have Splatoon, Mario Kart, and Smash," says Brayden with a fuckboy smirk. "Do you want to smash with me?"
"We're playing Mario Kart," I say.
I sit down next to him while he sets the game. He gives me a small smile and turns around to whisper something to Jungkook(?). Both he and Harry(?) leave the room, leaving us alone.
The game boots up, and he chooses Toad and Rainbow Road. I choose Yoshi, because he's fast as fuck boi. Don't you hate it in fanfics where they give you this stupid amount of dumb details that nobody cares about? Yeah, me neither. Needless to say, I leave him in the dust.
"Damn, Kitten. You're good," he says, throwing his hands up. "Too good. Don't you give the old groom a handicap?"
Well, I'm not gonna be a dick. It's just a game. I can't just go all out and make my baby Brayden cry. "Sure. I'll-"
"Great," he says, standing up to a cabinet under the television, taking out a... rope? What? "Put your wrists together for daddy, Kitten."
"Excuse me?" I say.
"No, it's 'sorry, daddy,'" he corrects. "I'll bind your hands as a handicap. Nothing big, just to make it a little more uncomfortable."
"I would say I'm pretty much uncomfortable."
"C'mon, do it for me," he says. His puppy eyes almost penetrated my soul. Penetrating being the operative word.
"Fine," I say. And not a moment sooner, because my hands are tied up in less than three seconds.
"Alright, round two," he says. Same setup as before, but this time, he purposely drives out of bounds over and over again until the race ends. Okay?
"Damn, kitten, you're raking me over the coals here," says Brayden, taking the rope and binding my legs.
"Hey! What do my legs have to do with a handicap? I don't play with my legs!"
"Then you won't mind if I do this."
I mind, I really mind, but a new game starts before I can say anything else. To be fair, he does try and play, and very good, if I might add. I'm in first, and he's second, just about to hit the third lap. We are neck in neck, but I have more neck, because I'm Yoshi, and Yoshi has all the neck. Don't sue me, Nintendo. He smashes me with a green shell, and overpasses me. I snake my way around him, just about to cross the line, when he slams the brakes, making me overtake him.
"Aw, too bad, Kitten," he says with barely an ounce of sorry on him. "Well, time to add more handicaps."
"Wait, I-" I begin to say, but he interrupts me once again, again.
He shoves a sock in my mouth. Where the fuck did he get a sock without taking off his shoe? Is this just a mouth sock he has for mouth purposes? Did he wash it first? Ew, I can't even start to... wait, I'm monologuing and not paying attention. Something he took advantage of, because I seem to be on the ground and hogtied like, well, a hog. Damn, my bad boy brain!
"There, all tied up for daddy," he says, slapping my bum.
I'm starting to believe there is something weird going on. I also hear a voice coming from the bedroom,a voice I know far too well.
"Ayden? Are you good?" says the husky voice of Hayden. "Is your tum-tum still bad? I have some cookies for you. They're snickerdoodles."
"why is ayden in the forbidden room?" asks the voice of Brayden.
Wait, Brayden?
The door opens, revealing both Hayden and Brayden behind it, with me in front of them being hogtied by...who?
"hey, bro," says Brayden, snapping his head back as if to say 'sup'. "missed you at lunch. why are you-"
He was cut down by Jungkook(?) injecting a needle into his neck, with Hayden falling to the same fate by Harry(?).
I'm starting to believe there is something afoot here.