While she was preparing the Christmas feast, Akira was playing with Yuzuru his new Spiderman game on PlayStation. Yuzuru did come over a few times to ask if she would need any help but she always declined, having most of it prepared from the day prior and being more appreciative of him keeping company to her son.
He seemed relieved anytime she said that and it always made her giggle, contemplating if she should ask him to help her cook the next time he comes again. But she didn't. She wanted him to enjoy Christmas as well, still deeply grateful for how he took care of her last night.
The lunch was ready, the table prepared and the moment they said their 'itadakimasu' Akira began to devour the food so fast as if they just blew the whistle at a race.
Both adults chuckled seeing that and began to eat at a normal pace.
"So what do you think Santa got you, Aki?" Yuzuru asked with amusement and Akira almost choked on the food.
He pushed it down with some water and looked up at Sophie, giving her a worried look. She only laughed at his panic but he kept looking at her in all seriousness, switching to Spanish.
"Mum, we should tell him!"
She frowned, trying to keep a serious composure, and even though she continued talking to Akira in Spanish as well, she directed her gaze at confused Yuzuru.
"Well, Aki, if we tell him now, he might feel pretty embarrassed, you know. Being his age and all that."
"I know, but won't it be even worse if we leave it be and do nothing?!"
"Hmm," she took another bite, pretending to mull his question over and watched as Yuzuru began to shoot with his eyes from her to Akira and back to her, "you might be right, Aki. But if we tell him, we need to be really gentle about it."
"You think he will cry?!" he gasped and put down his chopsticks in worry.
"Who knows." Sophie frowned, feeling a little tear trying to make its way out from suppressing bursting out laughing. "You should tell him then, Aki. You are his close friend, I am sure he would rather hear it from you than from me."
Akira sternly nodded, accepting his difficult task with determination. "Alright. I will tell him after lunch. Before we open the presents."
"What's going on?!" Yuzuru finally exclaimed putting his chopsticks down as well and Akira gave him a sympathetic smile, patting his hand.
"There is something I need to tell you. But let's just eat first, okay?"
"What the hell?!" he looked genuinely worried and Sophie bit her lip, trying to stay out of the conversation. Akira didn't answer either and Yuzuru in the end reluctantly followed their lead and returned to the food.
He was eating so slowly as if to postpone what was supposed to come and Akira was getting increasingly impatient. They were both already finished while Yuzuru was still picking each grain of rice individually. She wondered if he was actually enjoying himself, seeing the silent torture he was imposing on both.
After a while, Akira huffed and took out his phone, loading one of his various games.
Sophie almost wanted to tell him off, but considering he was already finished with the food and she herself was looking for a way to kill the time, she let it be.
"WHAT??!!" He suddenly exclaimed and both she and Yuzuru jumped up in their seats. "How did you manage to do almost fifty levels in Candy Crush?!!" He directed his phone screen at Yuzuru, waving with it in front of his face.
"Um..."
"I was still two levels ahead of you yesterday afternoon!!"
"Um..." he finally put his chopsticks down, pushing the empty bowl away, "I had some extra time last night," he muttered with a nervous smile and got up. "So you wanted to discuss something important with me?"
The moment he said that, Akira forgot all about their Candy Crush race and stood up, walking to the sofa and curling his finger at Yuzuru to join him there.
"What's going on, Sophie?" he asked her in an anxious whisper and she just turned in her seat, calling at Akira in Spanish.
"Don't forget to be real nice about, Aki. Okay?"
"Of course I will!"
She stood up, passing by Yuzuru who still stood at the table, and bent over the back of the sofa, whispering into Akira's ear. "He might even try to come up with some excuses, so make sure he knows he can be honest with us, okay?"
Akira nodded and once more called Yuzuru over, pointing at the seat on the sofa next to him.
She heard Yuzuru's heavy sigh and he reluctantly came over, sitting down apprehensively. Sophie meanwhile sat down on the armrest of the sofa, right behind Akira so that she could smile openly without her son seeing it.
Akira pulled one of his legs up to direct himself properly face to face with his friend who was now darting from his serious face to grinning Sophie behind him.
"Yuzu," Akira said solemnly, "there is something you should know."
"What?!"
"It is not easy to say, I mean, I was devastated myself when I found out two years ago."
"What is it, Aki?!"
"Santa Claus," he slowly exhaled, closing his eyes briefly, "he isn't real, Yuzu."
"What?!" he said confused and just as Sophie was hoping, Akira explained himself the confusion completely the wrong way. He leaned forward, putting his hand on Yuzuru's knee.
"I know it must come as a shock, but it's the parents and friends buying the presents."
"Oh my," Yuzuru exhaled, putting his hand over Akira's, "I know, Aki."
"It's okay, you don't have to lie to us. Honestly, your parents should have told you way sooner. I mean like, waaaaaaaaaaay sooner."
"Aki, I do know Santa isn't real. I thought you still believed in him, so I didn't want to spoil it for you."
Akira smiled softly and slowly nodded, "there is no shame in admitting it, okay? We won't tell anyone."
Yuzuru glanced at gleefully smiling Sophie and growled, hiding his face in his hands. "I swear, I didn't believe in Santa, Aki!"
"Oh, Yuzu," Akira let out with sincere compassion and stood up, wrapping him in a tight hug, "you know, you can cry if you feel like it. I cried as well."
Yuzuru returned the hug but gave a deadly glare to Sophie over Akira's shoulder, mouthing 'you will pay for this' to her.
She only grinned even more and clasped her hands, "so, who is ready to get their presents?!"
As if there was no friend to console, Akira let go of Yuzuru and darted back to the dining area, sliding on his knees to the tree.
He went approximately through three heart attacks, first when he opened a present from Yuzuru, who gave him a special set of golden markers for signatures 'for when you win your first Olympics and everyone will want you to sign their skates' together with one of the rare Digimon cards he was missing.
Another one came when he got the skates, doing several laps around the dining table, squeaking 'oh my god, oh my god, oh my god' and immediately planning his jump training with Yuzuru.
And after Sophie assumed he might be calm enough, she handed him the new game about Loki's Origin, being it the last present under the tree with his name tag.
He unwrapped it with excited anticipation but his face faltered the moment he saw it.
"Oh," he said with a weak smile, trying not to look ungrateful, "thank you, mum. It's just when they are green like this, the games are for Xbox, not PlayStation, you know."
"Oh, silly me," she gave him a wide smile and pointed with her chin towards the large box under the tree, "I will return it then. But I think this present is also for you, no?"
"It's not, I checked all the tags in the morning, it said 'Yuzu'."
"Interesting, would you check it again, please?"
He frowned and pulled the box towards him, opening the little name tag and seeing his name. "But in the morning there was Yuzu written on in! It has my name now! How?!"
Sophie giggled and shrugged her shoulders. "Christmas magic?"
At that point, it seemed to finally click for Akira and his eyes widened, switching between the Loki game and the large box. He took a few rapid inhales and ripped the wrapping paper away in less than a second.
He shot towards Sophie, making her fall on the ground from the clash, and covered her face in kisses and 'thank yous' and 'oh my gods'.
He then unpacked the Xbox properly and was eyeing her restlessly, his interest in the rest of the other presents completely gone.
"Well, there is nothing more for you here, so if you like, you can go." She smiled, already expecting it anyway and he grabbed the box and the game, running towards the TV to set it all up.
There were now only a few small gifts left and Sophie swooped them all closer on a small pile, noticing that Yuzuru nervously shifted.
"Well, this is a scarf from Aki," she said as she poked into a soft package with Pokemon wrapping paper, "and this is a mug from Aki," she continued, knocking on a small box in the same paper.
"And I assume this is a mug for you with a scarf as well." She put into his lap two parcels with the same paper but Yuzu's name tag.
"So I assume this box might be for me?" she picked a small box, wrapped so neatly that no tape was visible, "from you?"
Yuzuru merely nodded, scratching his face nervously. She fished out from the pile of wrapping paper a small box and added it to the ones in his lap, "that one is from me then, but I should warn you that Aki helped me with it. I had no idea what to get you."
"No worries," he smiled but didn't even acknowledge the box, just anxiously waiting for her to open what he got her.
And so she did, revealing a small box from a jewelry store.
"Oh damn, already the box looks fancy."
"It is actually an antique one. The thing inside is from the 1800s"
"Oh."
She suddenly got nervous, not even attempting to guess how much any piece of jewelry from the 1800s must have cost him. She removed the top part of the box, revealing a stunningly beautiful locket.
It had flower engravings all over and when she clicked it open, there was on one side a small photo of Akira with his all serious, 'I wanna be a model' look and on the other a photo of her with Akira together, joyfully smiling at the camera.
"Um, I asked Aki for the two pictures, but I need to admit he did go kind of overboard and sent me at least fifty. So just that you know, after I picked these two, I deleted all the other ones. And of course, you don't have to wear it or if you don't like it I can return it and you can pick something else or if you wish, you can replace the photos, you just need to scale it down on the computer and print it on a photo paper. I can do that for you if you would like different images there. I just found the one with Akira trying to look all serious absolutely hilarious and the other one with both of you....it's just really cute. I think. But as said, it can be returned and---"
She zipped his mouth the same way he did to her in the morning, pressing his lips together with her fingers and pulled him into a tight hug.
"Thank you so much! It's absolutely beautiful, I love it!" she was genuinely touched but then she noticed his hands are still by his sides, "you okay? Why are you not returning the hug?"
"I don't want you to sue me for sexual harassment," he said with a constricted voice from how firm the hug was and she growled, tightening her grip even more, "I can't breath, Sophie."
She held on for few more seconds and when he began to gasp, she finally pulled away.
She tried to be still annoyed by his lame joke but then she realized what she gave him and sighed.
"Damn, you gave me such an amazing gift and I got you only some stupid earphones. I am sorry."
"YOU WHAT?!" he exclaimed and she leaned backwards, shocked by his reaction. He tore the paper away from the small box in his lap but his wide eyes quickly returned to normal size, seeing the brand on the box.
"Is it the wrong brand? Aki said those are the ones you collect or something."
"No, no, no," he reassured her, waving with his hand, "the brand is right. It's just I already have all the earphones from them. They are releasing a new edition only two months from now. But they will be great anyway, I can have them as a backup with the other ones and ----"
"In that case, I don't think you have these," she gave him a wide smile and he frowned, opening the box fully.
"WHAT??! HOW??!! They are not out yet!!!!"
"These are right from the production line."
"OH MY GOD!! And they are custom!! Gold like my other ones!!"
"Damn, you really like it, don't you? What a strange hobby----"
"Thank you so much!!" he leaned forward to hug her but didn't, then he aimed for her forehead but also pulled away last second before just lifting her hand and placing the briefest peck on top of it. She rolled her eyes but he didn't even see it, eyeing the earphones as if they were blessed by the pope himself and then he gave her the same restless look that Akira had earlier.
"You wanna go and try them out, don't you?"
He impatiently nodded and just as she was halfway through her wave of dismissing him to go, he was already up on his feet, earphones in one hand and the still wrapped mug and scarf in the other, striding towards his room.
She sighed, put the locket over her head, and kept opening and closing it with a smile, before noticing a small envelope wrapped in Akira's wrapping paper.
She unwrapped the 'I ♥ Toronto' mug and the scarf and went to the bedroom with the envelope, wondering what it might be.
Lying on the bed, she opened it just to reveal a small note, reading 'Just in case I am not saying it enough, please read these anytime you need to hear that you are amazing.' She chuckled reading that, wondering where he got the idea from, and then she began to bawl her eyes out, flipping through individual small cards telling her that she is the best mum ever or the coolest one or that he loves her more than Pokemons.
Her crying resulted in a short nap and she was surprised to see that Akira didn't even try to wake her up when she realized her nap wasn't that short. It was already early evening and when she made it to the living room, Yuzuru was sitting with Akira on the sofa, playing the new Loki game, and both of them paying no attention to her. She went to the tree to clean up but all the wrapping paper was already neatly folded and placed in a paper bag for recycling.
And so she went to prepare the dinner instead, listening with a smile to their cheerful shouting anytime something interesting happened in the game.
They both ate the dinner with surprising speed and before she knew it, they were back on the sofa, discussing in all seriousness how to approach the next boss fight.
They were playing till late at night, Sophie meanwhile reading a book and this time sending Akira to bed was a true ordeal. It took him ages to fall asleep and when he finally did, she was glad she already caught up with her sleep deficit earlier, otherwise, she would have fallen asleep there as well.
Yuzuru just made it out of the shower when she left Akira's room, making her wonder what he always does there for so long. And then she thought she maybe doesn't want to know.
"Why are you grinning like that?" he asked with amusement and she only shrugged her shoulders.
"No reason."
"Sure," he said sourly but still with playful sparks in his eyes, "Anywho, not sure if you had any other plans, but I have some sleeping to catch up on and I really want to get to the end of the battle in the Rockwell Saga. I should be just a few pages away."
She wished he wouldn't have read it tonight and ruin his good Christmas mood but there was not much she could do about it, so she only wished him a good night and went to take a shower as well.
Just when she turned off the water, she heard a loud thud, assuming that was her book flying across Yuzuru's room and colliding with the door.
So a thrower, not a crier.
She began to dry herself, feeling again increasingly guilty for killing Clara off and when she was passing his door on her way out, she was pretty sure she heard a sniffle. Leaning quietly against the door to his room, she realized he was actually fully crying.
Sophie retired to her bedroom, knowing that she herself always preferred to be alone when she was touched by some events in the books she read but instead of sleeping, she only sat down on her bed.
For several minutes she was sitting there and in the end gave up, and went back to his door. There was no more crying audible, but from the shuffling around it was clear he was still awake.
Given how caring he was the night prior, she did feel she owned him a big one and wanted to be there for him in case he would like some consoling. And so she quietly knocked on the door, asking if she can come in.
He didn't answer for a while and then just let out with a sigh a quiet 'Yeah'.
He was lying down on his stomach, his hands under the pillow under his head and only with the night lamp on. She picked up the book from the floor and lied down next to him, assuming the same position with the second pillow on the other half of the bed.
"You okay?" she asked gently, looking into his weary eyes that still had clear signs of crying.
"No."
"Wanna talk about it?"
"No."
"You sure?"
"No."
She smiled weakly and scooted with her pillow slightly closer to him.
"I would like it to be put on the record that it was you who moved closer to me."
"Oh, c'mon. Can you please stop with these harassment jokes?"
"I am saying it as jokes to hide the fact I am actually really insulted by it," he said tensely though it was clear he didn't want her to get offended.
"You are?"
"Yeah. What do you think of me, Sophie? I know you are not interested in me that way. At least not anymore. Do you seriously think I would be trying to seduce you or something? Just because I care about you and find you attractive doesn't mean I would ever even entertain the idea of trying something while you clearly have no interest in me."
"Sorry," she muttered and they were both quiet for a while before she broke the silence again, "so would you like to tell me what else is on your mind?"
He let out a bitter laugh, clenching the pillow a bit tighter, "there is so much on my mind that I would not even know where to start."
"Start wherever," she said but he was still quiet and so she prompted him a bit more, "so was it the book that made you cry?"
"Not only that."
"So what else."
He sighed and inhaled deeply, letting it all out in one go, making Sophie just gape at him in shock.
"When you told me this morning that you are actually the author of the books I was first so excited about it. You have no idea how happy it made me. But when I returned to the book tonight it began to dawn on me that the self-insert you did there with Clara was not only for the nice, cute things you do but also for all of the terrible things your father did to you."
"M-mother."
"Mother then. And it's just breaking my heart thinking about you, being so helpless in the hands of a fanatic adult. I have no idea how you can even function on daily basis."
"It's long in the past, Yuzu, and it wasn't all just bad. Don't worry about it." She said quietly, still in deep shock.
"Funny to hear that coming from you," he said without any humor.
"I worry only about the future, not the past."
"Hm...anyway, it's just frickin' sad. And it's worse anytime I recall things from the previous volumes. Is all of it there true?"
"Yes."
At that point, Sophie's brain was boiling from how did he figure it out, but she also saw that this was such a rare moment of him talking like that. And so she decided to leave her own interrogation to when he is done. Being it obvious that what he said was only the tip of the iceberg.
"Even with the storm? Was your mother telling you that anytime it rains it's the God crying over your sins and blaming you if the heavy storm ruined somebody's house or killed someone?"
"Yes."
"That is fucked up."
"I agree."
"So why did you have to kill Clara?" he continued with a pleading voice, on the verge of cracking. "As I read through the battle, it was actually giving me some satisfaction that now she has her life in her own hands, not taking shit from anyone."
"It had to be done."
"But why?! It was so sad! She was lying there in Rockwell's arms, the rain falling on her head and she was thinking how strange it was that she was always fearing somebody will die anytime it rained so heavily but that it was her dying now. That is just so incredibly sad."
Sophie had nothing to say to that and only dodged his gaze instead.
"Can't you bring her back, please? There is magic in that world. Can't she be resurrected?"
"No. That is a writer's suicide to kill off characters and then make their death meaningless by bringing them back."
"It wouldn't be meaningless! Rockwell doesn't know she loves him! She still needs to tell him!"
"Yeah, well....life sucks, Yuzu."
He turned his head away, burying his face in the pillow and it seemed he began to cry a little again.
Sophie went with her hand through his hair, gently stroking him, "I had no idea those books mean so much to you. I really am sorry."
"They are one of the very few things that have nothing to do with Tamiko," he said quietly, his voice muffled by the pillow.
"W-What do you mean?" she said cautiously, still stroking his hair as he turned his head a little for some air.
"I was with her for four years. There are barely any things left that are not connected with her. Even when I sold our house and moved to an apartment instead. Replaced my whole wardrobe. Created a new Netflix account. She is just everywhere. It's impossible to just erase somebody to whom you were married for so long and created so many memories with. No matter what I do, I can't get her out of my head. All the time. Even when you talk to me I am analyzing it against what she used to tell me. Or when you stroke my hair like this, I am comparing it to how she used to do it."
Sophie immediately moved her hand away but he lifted it up, putting it back on his head.
"You do it differently. It's fine. But the point is, I read those books way before I met her. Right when the first volume came out like six years ago? And just when I dive into that fantasy world, she is not there. Because when I was building it all up in my mind, she wasn't in my life yet. And I always dreamed what it would be like to meet Clara. And now I did and she hates m---"
"I don't hate you!"
"But I still had the one in the books but now she is dead."
Was he seriously crushing on the character?
On the other hand, she had plenty of her own book crushes, and noted she is not the one to judge.
"But she died bravely, no?"
"Why does it matter? She is dead."
"We all die one day. At least she died quickly."
"That is pretty dark."
"Well, my husband was dying in front of my eyes for months, so I guess I have a slightly different outlook on death."
He was silent again for a moment and then just whispered "Sorry," but didn't say anything more.
"Anything else on your mind?"
Yuzuru didn't answer anymore and she guessed there is still plenty but nothing he was willing to share.
Baby steps. My turn now.
"So, um...can we please circle back to how you figured it out? I told you this morning that I am not--"
"No, you have it wrong. You didn't tell me that you are not Clara. You lied to me that you are not Clara."
She was expecting a hurt voice but instead his eyes were now sparkling with satisfactory entertainment. "Why do you think I moved your hair away to see clearly into your face? I wanted to know which of the answers will be lies."
"So you knew I was openly lying to you?!"
"Of course," he stated simply, "and no, I am not mad about it. If you would have asked me something this openly that I would not want to share, I would have dodged it as well."
"Well, I didn't dodge it. I lied."
"Sophie, I get it. Even my mother doesn't know why I left Tamiko. Because as you said, it's not about trust but about how many people know. You couldn't have dodged those. When I asked you if Clara is based on you and you would say 'I can't answer' it would be a clear a confirmation."
"You gave it some thought it seems."
"Nah, I cared more about the other ones. Asking about Clara was just a bonus, just to make sure."
"Wait a minute, so the other ones were not linked with finding out my connection with Clara?"
"No."
"So why did you--"
"Don't finish it. I won't answer."
Sophie sighed and rolled her eyes, removing her hand from his hair and turning on her back. She kept her gaze on him and opted for not following up on that. For now.
"So you were suspicious already before?"
He nodded and still a small smile was playing on his lips, clearly proud of his detective skills that she didn't exactly appreciate. But at least it was him and not some random reporter who figured it out.
"Since when?"
"Well first it was just the little behavioral details that you two share and I began to get a bit suspicious when you were telling me about Akio. You said that at the time his father wanted to make peace with him, he was already having his start-up company. Considering that you were supposed to be doing just translating and he only finished college, I wondered where would he get the money to start his own company. Even with investors he would need some initial budget."
Sophie opened her mouth in utter disbelief that he even thought about it like that and though she wasn't planning on saying anything, Yuzuru leaned forward, closing her mouth playfully.
"And then you mentioned when Akio was diagnosed, that you guys were already well off and you said 'not only from his newly gained family empire' so I began to wonder what else would that be. I googled that he sold the start-up once he took over his father's company and it was a good amount of money but nothing insane. And then I checked for how much exactly you sold the Watanabe company to get rid of the reporters, and that one was shit tons of money but since then you seem to be only buying incredibly expensive investments but rarely selling anything. If you still only translate, there would be quite a difference between your spendings and earnings. So there obviously must be some insane income going your way and so---"
"Alright, that's enough," she abruptly interrupted him, not needing to hear more. She lied there silently for few moments, only staring at the ceiling before getting up and going to her own bedroom to process it all.
She was always worried that no matter how much she trusted anyone, if she would tell them about it all, they could always make an unconscious slip in front of somebody and the other person could figure it out. That actually happening few times already. But now hearing all that, she saw that she was making those slips herself without even realizing it.
Sophie was sitting at the head of her bed and when Yuzuru came over, he sat down on the far end opposite her, giving her an apologetic look.
"Sorry. My paranoia after living with Tamiko really messed with my head so I was always carefully listening to every single thing you ever said."
"Yuzu, you remember word by word what I said like three months ago."
He hung his head in guilt and whispered a quiet "sorry" but Sophie stretched her leg, poking into his. "Don't be sorry. Not your fault. I should be more careful in the future."
"Well, I doubt everyone would be so thorough like me."
"You would be surprised how many people already figured it out. You are actually not the first one who got to it through the money discrepancies." She ran her hand through her hair, quietly adding, "I should fire my finance team I guess."
"Please don't fire anyone because of me!!" He darted his head up, looking positively terrified.
"It's their job to be hiding the tracks and balancing it all out with the various anonymous donations."
"B-But--"
"Don't worry, Yuzu. I won't fire anyone. They will just get an earful. That's all." He was still looking at her with almost puppy eyes and she sighed, adding "alright, not an earful. I will kindly ask them to be more careful."
"Thank you."
"Anyway, it's almost midnight," she glanced at her watch and slid under her duvet, "and you need more sleep than I do. So, no more Candy Crush, okay?"
He chuckled at her tone as if she would be telling it to Akira and got up. "Don't worry. It wouldn't be the same anyway without your back as a support for my phone."
She rolled her eyes, making him snicker and muttered an exhausted "Good night."
"Good night, Sophie," he said and was leaving but stopped at the door and turned back to her, "by the way, you won't give me a speech of not telling anyone and all that?"
"Nope," she pulled her blanket closer to her chin and rolled on her side, not facing him "I trust you."
A split second later he was at her bed and turned on the light, pulling on her chin to turn her back to him.
"Say it again."
"No."
"Please, Sophie!"
She moved his hand away and slid the pillow out from underneath her head, putting it above her face. "You need to learn to trust people, Yuzu. So just trust that when I say I trust you, I mean it."
"I can't do that."
"Try."
"Please, let me see into your face," his voice was so pleading that after a short moment of resisting, she removed the pillow and took a deep breath, staring into his hopeful eyes.
"I trust you, Yuzu."
His eyes lit up, his face beaming with happiness and without hesitation he leaned down, giving her a brief but earnest peck on her forehead.
"Thank you. Good night." He said giddily and she only shook her head slowly as he walked away from the room with a happy bounce.