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My alarm goes off and I groan as it reads 6:00AM in flashing green numbers. Pull myself out of my bed and into the bathroom. When I look in the mirror I can see the bags under my eyes forming from the lack of sleep. It is that middle of the school year (December) and I still can't get use to waking up at 6AM. I splash cool water in my face and put my contacts in. I don't really need them, but they make things a little less blurry.
I go into my room and pick out khakis, a white polo, and vans. This is what my casual outfits for school are. They use to get me beat up, thrown against lockers, and several names spat at me, but now I just get weird looks. No one really tries to hurt me anymore and I'm thankful for that.
I pull on the clothes and grab my key, bag, and phone. I walk quietly down the stairs, hoping my mum is still asleep. Luckily I slip out of my house unnoticed. I make my way through the cold winter air and mentally hit myself for not grabbing a jacket. I start the engine of my car and text Niall to tell him I'm headed to get him, and ask if he could grab me a jacket.
When I pull up to Nialls I see my blonde haired best mate walking with his bag and thankfully a jacket. He gets in and shivers from the wind.
"Damn freezing out there" he laughs and hand me the jacket.
"Thanks" I mumble and pull away from his house. It doesn't take long for us to get there and as usual we aren't the first but surely not the last to arrive. I park in the back not wanting to argue if someone accused me to take their spot.
Niall and I walk quickly into the building escaping the harsh winter winds. "I can't wait till summer" he scoffs and folds his arms as we make our way to our lockers.
They aren't beside each other but they aren't far from each other either. As I pull out my books I hear a familiar laughter. It scares me, its Liam and Harry. They both use to bully me.
"Well look here" Liam smirks as he slams my locker shut causing me to jump.
"Been a long time Louis" he pushes my shoulder and i stumble backwards thankfully catching myself.
"What do you want" my voice is quiet.
"Louis, lad. Where is your boyfriend?" He glances around.
"I....I don't have one" the memory of Scotty still burns.
"What? Scotty must've gotten tired of you not giving it up" he laughs and Harry joins in.
"I..." I try and think of something to say. "Liam just stop" Niall says coming to my side.
Liam gives Niall a dirty look and pushes me one last time before leaving. I try and control my emotions and thankfully I can. We go our separate ways for first period. the only class we have together is our last period.
I take my seat in the front of History and try to focus on the lesson. But my mind keeps wondering to Scotty.
*flashback*
"Lou, I....I hav" His sobs stops his words for escaping his lips. I rub his back and try to calm him.
"Just breathe" I continue to rub his back as he takes multiple deep breaths.
"I'm leaving, moving to the US" he sobs even more and my heart aches. I don't say anything, because I'm not really sure what to say. "Say something!" His voice raises and I flinch.
"When?" Is all I can ask. His face is blotchy and red and his eyes are blood shot. "Saturday" he breaths.
I thought I could feel my heart physically shatter. My boyfriend of 10 months was leaving. I regret not trying to bring the love but I don't think I ever truly loved him.
*end flashback*
We never told each other that we loved one another, half because it was too soon and the other half because I don't think I could ever trust him enough to let myself fall.
"Mr.Tomlinson" Mrs.Green snaps me out of my thoughts. "Uh... Y..yes?" I ask nervously. "Please pay attention" she snaps again and I nod sinking in my seat.
The rest of my morning classes went by quickly and I was thankful to be able to focus a bit more. Lunch came around and I was happy to see Niall waiting by the double doors. "Hey" I breathe. "You alright?" He asks lowering his brows. I nod and hope he would drop it. Luckily Jessie was headed in our direction.
"Hey guys" She smiles as we walk in the cafeteria. I give a small wave and her eyes instantly drop.
"Are you okay?" She whispers. I nod and keep walking.
We get our trays and find our table. I lift my head away from my food and glance around the cafeteria when I see Harrys arm draped around a short blonde girls shoulder. By now everyone is staring and whispering about them. Harry is known for sleeping around. He says he doesn't like relationships, and won't ever be in one. So everyone is quiet shocked as she hangs all over him.
I look away and back down to my food. I'm not even hungry. I rise to my feet and throw the tray away in the nearest trash can. When I return to the table Nialls voice fades and I know they were talking about us.
"Niall you can talk about him" I scoff and he sighs.
"I just can't believe he brought him up. Everyone knows what he use to do to you" he flares his nostrils in anger.
*flashback*
Scotty violently shoves me against the lockers drawing everyone's attention. "Scotty, please. Not here" I beg embarrassed. He back hands me, causing my lip to bust and gasps from the crowd around us. It wasn't the first time he had hit me... But it was the last.
"Scotty" the principals voice booms and the crowd vanishes. He lets go of me and I slide down the lockers.
I gathered my things and rushed away trying to ignore the stares and whispers that comes from everyone around.
*end flashback*
I don't say anything, instead I just keep my head down.
I was covered in bruises during our relationship. Not from the bullying I got when he wasn't around, but from the constant hitting and pushing I Got from him.
"He's not here anymore, let's drop it" Jessie says.... well practically begs.
"What are you doing for your birthday" Niall asks and I had totally forgot it was in 3 weeks.
"It's Christmas Eve so probably going to my grandparents" I tell him hoping he won't try anything.
"Oh" his voice is soft.
The bell rings and I head for class. After I slip away from Niall and Jessie i turn the corner running right into Liam. Of course.
"Louis" he smirks and i coward away from him as he steps toward me. "I have to get to class" my nerves run high.
"You can when I say you can" he spits. "I have a question" his mood changes in a split second.
"Oh" I'm shocked
"If you tell anyone about this, I will beat the living-" I cut him off "okay, I won't" I stop his threat.
He pulls me into the supply closet and runs his fingers through his hair.
"How did you know?" He questions and I'm a bit confused
"That you were...ya know. Gay?" He blurts out and I'm takin back.
"Well" I sigh " I just sort of knew" i say and he looks angry. "I mean, after I caught feelings for a guy, and started thinking about guys in a different way" I breathe.
He just nods. "Leave first" he demands opening the door.
I rush out of the closet and hurry to class. I'm already 15 minutes late and don't know what to expect walking into class.
"Mr.Tomlinson, I will speak to you after class" my trigonometry teacher blurts out. I make my way to my seat and try and wrap my mind around what just happened. After class I go to Mr. knight and apologize.
"This isn't like you, but I have rules. I'm sorry, but you will have detention after school." He sighs.
I just nod and accept my punishment. The rest of the day flies by and music class comes quickly. I tell Niall I have detention for an hour, and he tells me he'll wait in the library for me.
When class ends I grab my bag and head to detention. I arrive and i am shocked that I'm the only one with detention. I take a seat in the front and the teacher groans looking at the list.
"The other boy must be late as usual" he spits keeping his eyes on the paper.
"Louis Tomlinson, how does such a great student get detention?" He asks with a worried expression. But before i could answer the door flings open and Harry walks in. When our eyes meet he looks like his eyes will pop out of his head.
"Come for extra credit?" He laughs taking a seat in the back. I ignore it and decide to do something with the time. I finish my homework within 10 minutes. Mr.Dallas excuses himself to the restroom.
"I asked a question" Harrys voice is annoyed, as he plops down in the seat next to me.
"No, I didn't come for extra credit. I actually have detention" I scoff.
He laughs "how did mr. Perfect get detention?" He keeps laughing.
"Late for class" I mumble as his laughter dies down.
"You're pathetic" he says taking his seat. Ouch.
"I know" I mumble.
He doesn't say anything else as Mr. Dallas enters the room. The time seems to drag on waiting for this to end. My mind still trying to wrap itself around what happened today. Liam of all people asked me when I knew I was gay. Is he gay? Bi? Doesn't matter.
"You can leave" Mr. Dallas' voice is raspy.
I stand to me feet and pull my bag over my shoulders. Harry rushes in front of me and the smell of him engulfs me. It's so..... Stop it Louis he's an arse. My subconscious snaps at me.
I make my way to the library to find Niall resting his head on his arms. I tap his head and he jerks up. I motion for us to leave and he follows me out the door and into the cold.
I drop Niall off and give him his jacket. When I get home my mothers in the kitchen cooking. I glance at her as I pass the opening and she's frantically grabbing things. I shower, change and start to study.
This is what my life consist of. Going to school, working hard on my studies and now I have got detention on my record. That could possibly damage many things on my college records. I close my books and set them back into my backpack.
"Louis!" I hear my mothers voice from down stairs.
I walk into the kitchen and she smiles at me. "I made dinner" she looks down and pushes her hair away from her eyes. "Thanks" I mumble and grab a plate.
We eat in silence like we have been doing for months now. After she cheated on my father and he refused to let me go with him I've been upset with her.
"You got home late?" Her eyes fill with worry.
"I was at the library" I lie and continue to eat.
Of course I feel bad for lying but I don't want her worrying about me. I finish and put my plate into the dishwasher and go back upstairs.
I've studied for a while so I decide to turn on tv and watch it until sleep decides to take over.
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