The next morning, I looked forward to sleeping in once. I went to bed pretty early and only set an alarm for 9:30 in the morning, so I would have enough time before the stylists would enter my room. Even though I was convinced that I wouldn't sleep that long, it gave me some security about not sleeping in too late.
I couldn't remember the last day I was able to sleep in. Probably sometime before graduation. All the other days since then, I had to wake up early, for interviews, photoshoots, appointments or something else. I wasn't complaining, but in cases like these, you realise how valuable simple things like this could be. Since the race wasn't until 3 in the afternoon, I wanted to use the opportunity to catch up on some well-deserved rest. But that chance was taken from me when someone was basically trying to break down the hotel room door with their knocking.
Grunting, I blinked my eyes a few times to get used to the sudden incidence of light. I lifted my head from the pillow and pushed my upper body up on my lower arms. With one closed eye, I clicked onto my phone to check the time. 6:34 in the morning. That's it about wanting to sleep in I guess. I knew once I was awake, I couldn't get back to sleep. It just didn't work for me. The person standing in front of my door knocked again, this time even more aggressive. I finally sat up and rubbed my eyes with the back of my hands.
The knocking stopped and I heard a pair of muffled voices talking behind the door. I couldn't catch what they were talking about though. The door and walls were a little too solid for that. I stood up and walked into the bathroom, putting my retainer back into its light pink box. There was knocking again and I rushed my way to the door. Without looking through the spy and without caring about answering the door in my pyjamas, I whacked the door open. I faced a frustrated and mad Julian, whose head shut from facing the floor in my direction and glazing directly into my eyes. What the hell did I do now?
"Tia, what the hell.", he just stated as I stood in front of him. He was already dressed and ready for the day. His arms and torso were covered by a neatly ironed beige button-down, which he combined with simple jeans. His black shoes were shiny and looked like they were brand new. His hair was slicked back with a lot of gel.
"Good morning.", I responded calmly, but the look he gave me made me panic internally. Shit. I was in trouble, once again.
"What were you thinking?", he asked me loudly and I checked both sides of the corridor to see if there was somebody else present.
"Do you maybe want to come in first?", I asked him. I didn't want to cause a scene and I also didn't want to wake up the entire hotel. With the voice he was using right now, it really could become reality. Julian, the human alarm for every other hotel guest here.
"No, you need to tell me what the hell you were thinking!" His eyes were fixed on me and made me slump down a little.
"What are you talking about?", I asked back panicking.
"You haven't checked social media?", he asked me and I shook my head.
"As you can see, you've just woken me up, so no. I haven't checked social media.", I replied, now a little annoyed he just didn't tell me what was making him so mad. Somebody walking along the corridor grabbed my attention and I turned my head to the right. I saw Lando and Carlos Sainz walking next to each other towards the elevator. Lando's eyes were watching the scene Julian and I were involved in. A confused look was on his face. His eyebrows were narrowed. Carlos was talking to him, but I could only imagine that Lando was ignoring him completely. Without being able to give him non-verbal communication, I turned back to Julian.
"Yes, well. Take a look at this." My manager hold up his phone into my face and in the corner of my eye, I saw Lando and Carlos take a right around a corner and disappearing. I focused my eyes on the screen in front of me and scanned over a photo that was posted by McLaren on their Instagram. Firstly, it looked like a normal photo of a race weekend. It showed Lando in his race suit and helmet, climbing into the car. The photo was taken from the front of the car, so in the background, the entire garage was noticeable. Even though it was focused on Lando, the background was still razor-sharp. That's when I saw what Julian was so mad about. My eyes went back to his.
"Can you just come in and we can continue that conversation in more privacy?", I now demanded and stepped aside. Julian entered my still-dark room and sat down on the half of the bed I didn't sleep in. Then he gave me his phone.
"Just go through some of the comments.", he told me and I sat down on the sofa across from him. I clicked on the comment button. My eyes began to scan the comment section of the photo.
'This is so cute @tia_gauvin.'
'I didn't know they dated.'
Response: 'I don't think they do.'
'What happened to Tia and Lucas?'
Response: 'Nothing, I think. I didn't hear anything of a break-up.'
'We stan #Tiando'
Response: '#Carlando is way better.'
'Friends sharing good luck charms, we stan'
'If they are dating, I will need to punch something.'
'He's too good for her.'
'Imagine they would be dating. Please make my dreams come true, @landonorris @tia_gauvin.'
Response: 'They do follow each other, sooo might be?!'
'@lucas.trays1 please explain this.'
'Guess he doesn't need all of those good luck wishes anymore and guess he's found his biggest fan.'
I looked up again and gave Julian his phone back. I could see now why he was so angry with me. I also knew I messed up. But to be honest, I didn't even think that Lando would have my llama so close to him in the garage. It was sitting right on the counter, right next to the car with his cap and his bottle. But one thing was still unclear to me. How the hell did they know it was my llama? I've never mentioned it, neither have I shown it or post about it.
"How the hell did they immediately know it was my llama?", I asked my manager.
"There is a photo on your Instagram with it on it.", he stated and my confusion grew even bigger. "Remember the photo I took of you cuddling with it before your first TV appearance?", he tried to explain but I still didn't get it.
"I've never posted it, though.", I answered.
"Yes, but I did."
What the hell? How have I not noticed that? Well, I mean as soon as my Instagram account got that many followers, I silenced all notifications of it, so I didn't really get all those likes and comment notifications.
"What?!", I asked him back. I couldn't believe it. How could he just do that?
"Well, it was a good and cute photo." He just shrugged his shoulders like it was nothing. "Look, every celebrity has a person responsible for their social media. It's really not a big deal." I was still trying to process the news about him posting a photo without asking me first when he came right back to business.
"So based on your looks, you know you messed up.", he claimed and leaned back. His lower arms were holding up his body though, so he could still watch me. I stood up and walked over to the blinds. The darkness was making this conversation even harder, so I pulled them apart with a quick motion. The room was immediately flooded with the light of a sunrise. I took my time to walk back to the sofa and sitting down. I was still not awake completely and I needed to sort my thoughts.
"What did you think, Tia?", he pushed me into an answer. His voice was calmer now, but there was still disappointment and anger flowing with it.
"I didn't, okay?", I suddenly shot back uncontrollably. He was just as taken by surprise by my answer as I was. With interest, he watched me as I gained back control over the words I spoke out loud.
"I didn't think, alright? When I ran into Lando back in London, he told me about the race here in Silverstone. That's how I knew Lando was nervous about this, more nervous than at other race weekends. And I know how bad that can make you feel. So I thought I would help out a friend and give him a good luck charm that helps me as well. I didn't expect him to have it as close to him as he did or does, I don't know. And I certainly didn't think it would be posted somewhere. And I didn't know the public knew about the llama. So if I can summarise, it was somehow your fault as well as it is mine."
My manager stayed silent for a moment and just looked at me. I could only imagine how he had to control himself right now, trying not to freak out and scream at me. But I gained self-confidence and I didn't want to lose that after only bringing a couple of sentences forward.
"Don't you dare tell me this is my fault.", he said with a loud and determined voice. "I didn't have to do anything with that bullshit that is going on right now. I only did my job. The job that is managing your career and life." I just stayed silent. Knowing if I opened my mouth right now, I would say something that could really hurt my career. I didn't dare to look him in the eyes either. I just couldn't.
"So, what do you propose to fix this?", he asked me after a few seconds of awkward and tense silence.
"I'm sorry.", I mumbled silently and Julian sat up and leaned his elbows on his knees.
"What?", he asked, not hearing what I just said.
"I'm sorry.", I said louder and met his glance again. Only for a moment, though, before I needed to look away again. My eyes scanned the dark red carpet on the floor.
"An apology is not going to fix it, Tia.", he stated with some disappointment in his voice. I let out a breath but stayed quiet. Something in me rebelled against the idea of coming up with a solution for this 'problem'. Lando and I were friends, so why did I have to explain my actions?
I didn't think the public had to know everything. Something could be left to the fans' imagination, right? Julian moved and my eyes laid themselves on him automatically. He grabbed his phone again and typed something. Then he clicked another few times on the display, before bringing the phone up to his ear. He waited some seconds, before starting to speak.
"Yea, hello. It's Julian Michaels.", he introduced himself I didn't know who to. "You've asked for an interview with Tia today, right? I've wanted to confirm it with you." He stayed silent as the dialogue partner answered.
"Yes, I know it's short-term but another appointment of hers got cancelled so she does have time around that time." He lied just like that. Wow.
"I just have one request. Ask her about the freshest rumours, especially about those with this McLaren driver." The other person responded again. "Yes, I know it's not typical. But just ask her about it." Another moment of silence. "Alright, thank you. See you soon." Julian hung up and we made eye contact again. My mood was on the floor right now. I just knew based on that phone call that he's just made some interviews or TV appearances clear for me, maybe even before he got me out of my sleep. This day was supposed to be an off-work day, just pure enjoyment.
"9 o'clock, interview and TV appearance at Sky Sports F1. 9:25, meeting other actors and musicians attending this event. 9:45, interview with Canal+ France. After that we will be just outside of the fan zone, meeting some fans with the other celebrities. After that, you hang with them, not any of the drivers. Did you understand that?", he plainly said, without any emotions, while standing up from the bed. I nodded quietly.
"You will answer the questions about the newest rumours as followed: the llama is indeed supposed to bring the drivers luck. You've become friends with BOTH of the McLaren drivers. Not good friends, not best friends, only friends. Keep that in mind. You thought it was a nice gesture, that was everything, and you would have done that with every other team if you would have become friends with that team or their drivers. You're still in a relationship with Lucas. Happily, I might add."
Julian didn't kid around. His face and tone of voice were dead serious. Somehow it felt like he was annoyed by me and wanted to quit his job so badly. I listened carefully and tried to remember everything he had just told me. He was about to leave my room and I already turned my head back to the floor when he turned around once more.
"You've been distracted.", he remarked without context and got my attention back with that statement. "Ever since you've been in France."
"I've done all of my appointments.", I replied just as emotionless.
"Still, you've been very distracted. So no more stupid cars, stupid drivers or stupid races." His choice of words made me even madder. Frustrated I sucked in a breath and sat up straighter. That was when I realised how slumped I had been leaning back on the sofa.
"For at least five or six weeks. You need to get focused." With these words, he'd turned around and quickly left my room. He left me sitting there in silence, alone with the thoughts and feelings that had been dammed inside of me. I just sat there for the next ten minutes before the stylists were knocking on my door.