Being a parent was so hard but rewarding.
I really couldn't complain, though. Flora was such a good little baby but no matter how good, any baby was a challenge.
Flora slept through the nights completely fine but I still had to wake her up a few times each night for feedings, diaper changes and putting her back down to sleep.
I was lucky, because she wasn't too fussy and didn't cry as much as some baby's did but it was hard adjusting.
It didn't help that after two weeks, Luke had to go back to work. Well technically, he didn't have to go to games across the country because baseball season was over.
But he did have to go to training and practices.
It was sort of ridiculous how they quickly they just jumped into one thing and then the other.
He only left for a day max and I was bummed out but I had little Flora to keep me company. It definitely did help that she looked just like her daddy. She had his hazel eyes and face features, they were literally twins. If it wasn't for her dark brown hair and face shape, I wouldn't believe she was mine.
It made my heart melt to already see how close Flora and Luke were already. They looked alike, shared a birthday and got along so well. It was safe to say she was a daddy's girl.
He would take most of the night shifts with her, while I did mornings. A few times when I had gotten up to pee I would see him in the nursery, rocking and singing her gently to sleep. Some of the nights when he did that, I'd wake up to him not in the bed. Then I'd get up and find him fast asleep in the nursery with Flora.
It was the sweetest thing.
My camera consisted of just pictures of Flora. Flora and Luke, Flora and I, Flora sleeping. I was really taking on the mother status with that one.
And she loved holding people's hands. She constantly be trying to reach out and grab hold of anything, but once she got your hand, she wouldn't let it go.
It was so simple yet so perfect to me.
Hollis.green: my little lady
"Flor is out like a light." Luke said, coming down the stairs.
Luke could always get her down for naps. When it came to me, it was a fifty fifty chance.
"Oh, good. She needed the sleep plus we can finally get some alone time." I smiled, putting my pen down on the table.
Right now, I was trying to write out all the wedding invitations. All I had to do was the addresses, it would take three hours max but with Flora, it was taking way longer than necessary.
"Hm, alone time has a nice ring go it." He said, walking over and kissing my neck.
"Mhm, I bet it does." I said, laughing.
"You're looking really good." He continued.
"With my greasy hair, eye bags, and postpartum belly, mhm." I pointed out.
"Oh stop it, Holls. You've pushed a baby out fifteen days ago, give yourself a break.
"I know, I know. It's just bittersweet, I don't look like how I used to." I told him.
Luke sighed, "You look beautiful, it's all just your mind playing games."
I have him a weak smile, "I have the workout clothes, might as well start working out soon."
"Stop it. It's only been two weeks since you pushed a whole human out of you, give yourself a little break, Lis."
Luke gently put his hands on both of my cheeks, having me look right at him.
"You are so beautiful, inside and out, Hollis. Don't ever believe otherwise." He repeated.
I have him another small, weak smile, "I love you."
"And I love you." He said, giving me a kiss on the cheek, "Let's put your mind off things, you're working too hard."
"The wedding invites need to get done." I said, gesturing towards all the envelopes.
"We have time, chill. I'll make some lunch, you go lay down and pick out something to watch." He told me, "We'll have a little movie date."
He walked towards the kitchen and left me grinning, "Oooh, our first little date since being parents."
He opened the fridge and looked back at me, "Isn't that weird to say? We're parents now."
I nodded, "It's crazy. We have a daughter together, a whole ass human."
"It's crazier to think that one day there might be more. Like Flora is only the first one, you know." He pointed out.
"I know. One day though, we definitely should wait awhile for another." I told him.
I definitely didn't want another kid for awhile. After all, we were still so young, fresh out of college and weren't even married.
"Oh definitely. You need to be a Craine before we make another." Luke agreed.
I looked back down at the wedding invites and envelopes.
"Three and a half more months, my love." I said, "Three more months."
Luke cut up some fruit and made us sandwiches with my favorite spicy chicken, cheese and some fancy bread. It was simple but I wasn't able to have this for nine months. I was simply restricted to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches during my pregnancy.
The simple things really made me happy now, I guess.
After that, we squeezed on an episode of Criminal Minds before Flora woke up from her mini nap and needed to be fed.
So I fed her and then she fell asleep, again, on my chest. Although, she did love her daddy, she loved her naps cuddled up next to her mommy.
That's how most of our days went lately. We'd hang out at the house as little family, catering towards miss Flora. Most days, we'd have visitors. Everyone loved Flora and couldn't wait to see her. But eventually all the visitors died down and nobody really came by except for the people we were really close to.
Some days, when Luke was at practice or training, we'd go over to my mom's. Normally Bianca was over as well, it was sort of like Flora had an extra grandmother. Either way, they absolutely adored her.
She offered to take her so I could have time to myself all the time. I was a bit hesitant at first, not wanting to let Flora go, but then I realized I really did need time to myself. Don't get me wrong, I loved my little Flora but sometimes you needed you time.
Anyways, my mother adored Flora which I found quite ironic. When my mom found out about Flora, she was so disappointed. It was like she hated Flora (more like the idea of Flora).
She was the only person that gave me hate about it during my pregnancy and even went out of her way not to talk to me for almost two months. It was safe to say, she was the most disappointed.
But now, she was the happiest grandmother ever to Flora. She always wanted to spend time with her. I didn't know if I ever wanted Flora to find out that her happy grandmother once hated the idea of her.
Besides the time she was with our families, Luke and I really devoted ourselves to Flora. As hard as it was being a new parents, we tried not to take every moment for granted.
Luke tried to the absolute bare minimum he could with work, and so was I. Although, I really wanted to find a way to get more small business deals with my clothing.
We had to adjust a lot with Flora, it was crazy how not too long ago we'd be out at night, we'd do what we pleased. This time last year, we'd be at college parties and late night dates, but now we were on the couch, in pajamas with Flora. Although, I didn't mind it at all.
And in the blink if an eye, our little Flora Anabella was one month old.
It was crazy how much she'd grown in such a short amount of time. She tried to smile a lot more. As much as I hated walking up so early, her big toothless grin would bring a smile onto my face.
And as one month passed, it was August, just two months before the wedding. All that really consumed my life when Flora was asleep, was getting all the last details planned. Mona said I was being obsessive about it all, but frankly, she might've planned a lot of parties but never once a wedding.
"You sure you don't need any help with all of this?" Luke would ask he saw all the wedding planning I was doing.
"No, not all. This is my sort out of escape when she sleeps." I admitted to him.
He rubbed my back, "Alright, good. I'm glad your happy with all this."
I nodded my head then rested it on Luke's shoulder.
"I love you." He whispered.
"And I love you more." I replied.
"Not way possible." He told me.
Then he pulled me into his arms and we fell back on the couch, laying there together.
August going into September, was spent pretty much the same way as last month. Flora was a little beacon of light in our house. I seriously couldn't imagine how I was so scared to be a mother and scared of the thought of her.
She was my missing my piece and now that I had her, I couldn't imagine a life without her.
I had even found her a little dress for the wedding, it was a really light shade that was almost white. It matched my dress and the pink dresses of the bridesmaids, it was nice in between shade.
It was a bit big for her right now but hopefully in two months it would fit just right. I wanted to find her a cute headband, too.
And before we knew it, Miss. Flora was two months old. If I was being completely honest, it made me really emotional to think about how fast she was growing.
Luke and I had finally found a good balance with everything. We finally had a set schedule for her sleeping and feedings. And we had even found a good balance for ourselves.
For example, the wedding wasn't on my mind constantly. Sometimes I just took breaks from it all and focused on what was happening in the moment. Instead of planning during Flora's nap time, I'd go and sleep with her during that time, too.
Right now, I was sitting on our back porch. It was a chilly night, a night I loved spending outdoors, just sitting around.
Luke and I had put two rocking chairs out here so we could spend nights like this outside. I was glad he had that idea because right now I was loving it.
I couldn't help but think that we would soon need to get a little mini rocking chair for Flora to sit out here with us in a few months.
"Tea?" I heard Luke ask.
I turned around and saw him carrying two mugs and two blankets in hand. He closed the half open sliding door probably so we wouldn't wake Flora.
"Yes, thank you." I smiled.
He handed me the cup of tea and the blanket, I carefully wrapped myself up in it. I loved chilly nights like this.
"Is she still asleep?" Luke asked, leaning in to see the baby cam, sitting on the little side table next to me.
"Yup, she was moving around a bit at first but she fell right asleep." I told him.
He nodded, "I can't believe how good a baby we got."
I agreed, "Seriously, from all the stories I've heard, I was quite the nightmare. Always crying, never sleeping, the whole nine yards."
"I guess she just takes after me." He suggested.
"Mhm okay." I smirked.
"She really is a good baby, though. We sleep most of the nights and she only cries when hungry, really." He continued.
"I know, Flora really is a good girl." I said, nodding.
I pulled the blanket higher over my shoulders. We sat there looking at the night sky, in silence for a bit.
This was another one of the great things about living in the middle of nowhere. The view during the night was so amazing. You could see all the stars and constellations.
I couldn't wait until Flora was older and we could sit out here and teach her how to find each constellations like Cassiopeia and the big and little dipper.
Luke put on some quiet music in back, careful so that he wouldn't wake up Flora.
"So today I got another offer." I told him.
He turned towards me with a proud smile on his face.
"Actually?" He asked.
I nodded, "Yup. It's a swimsuit brand that liked my style of design."
"Are you gonna take it?" He asked me, taking a sip of his tea.
"I think so." I explained, "The last partnership clearly made brands notice me and I think if I take this it'll help me in the future. They're letting me have full reins on designing and modeling them."
Luke nodded, "That's amazing, Holls. Are you comfortable with that, though? Modeling them."
Luke knew that my body was one of my biggest insecurities lately. The fact that this was bathing suit was a little intimidating.
"Yeah, I think so. I mean I've been working hard to get my body back and have lost most of the baby weight." I explained.
"Then I think you should. I'm so proud of you, Holls." He told me, "And not even just proud about this, I'm proud about everything you've done and overcame in the past year."
"Thank you. I think when Flora is a bit older, I'm gonna open my own little shop and hopefully a brand too." I told him.
He grinned, "I think you should. You definitely could do it too, I believe in you."
I couldn't help but smile, like I actually physically couldn't not smile after that. He said the sweetest things and sometimes I felt like I didn't deserve it.
"I love you." He said, taking my hand and holding it.
I laughed, "That was so random but I love you too, Luke."
He leaned in and have me a kiss on the hand.
Not even ten seconds later, the song we picked to slow dance to came on. It was the slowed down version of 'Eighteen' by One Direction.
I looked over at him and he looked right back at me.
"This is a sign." He said with a grin, "We have to dance too it."
"I dunno." I told him, "It's called the first dance, after all. Shouldn't we wait?"
Luke shrugged, "It's not like we do the practice slow dance at the rehearsal dinner, so we need some practice, don't we?"
I smiled and he took that as a yes. He held out his hand to help me get up and I took it. We started the slow dance, and I rested my head on this shoulder.
This song fit so perfectly to us and our story. When I heard I knew that this was gonna be the song, there was no doubt in my mind.
We danced to the words and I felt every little worry melt away.
I have loved you since we were 18
Long before we both thought the same thing
To be loved and to be in love
All I can do is say that these arms
Are made for holding you, oh-oh
I wanna love like you made me feel
When we were 18
If this little practice slow dance felt so good, I couldn't imagine what the real thing would feel like.
Hollis.green: in this moment, nothing else mattered.
Like, vote, comment and follow. Also comment down below if you like the name 'Flora' for the baby. I had changed it so many times 💓💓