"Alright, we want you to read some of the last comments your fans left you on the internet.", Julian said to me and handed me a bucket full of pieces of paper. "Just do a quick intro for this next video and then pick a paper, read the comment out loud and somehow respond to it, alright?" I nodded and sat up straight in the little bar stool that stood in front of my white wall, ready for the next YouTube video to be filmed.
A couple of weeks have passed since the French Grand Prix and Julian kept his word when he said I was in massive trouble. I was closely monitored by himself or other managers of his company for almost two weeks straight. They followed me everywhere and even had security watch my apartment so they knew I was at home. It kind of felt very weird, but I knew I had to regain their trust, so I accepted my fate and went along with it, even though it made me madly uncomfortable. Almost every minute of the past days had been planned through. An interview here, a photoshoot there, then a recording session for my YouTube channel. I was exhausted.
They monitored me that closely that I didn't even dare to answer Daniel's or Pierre's text messages. I had been ignoring them for the entirety of the time. I felt bad about it because I knew it wasn't right and they were just trying to be nice, but I couldn't risk getting in more trouble with my management at the moment. I couldn't risk my career.
I quickly checked my appearance on the small screen of the camera. My hair was in french braids and I was wearing a plain white shirt. Then Julian held up his thumb as he turned the video. It was the sign I could start with the video. I smiled.
"Hey, guys. Thanks for tuning in. Today, I will be reading some of your comments that I have in this wonderful bucket right here" I held up the small metal bucket in my hand. "and then I guess I'll just react to them." I looked down and stuck my hand into the bucket and pulled out the first paper. I opened it and read it quickly.
"Oh, this is kind of the perfect start for the video. It says: 'Hi Tatiana, how was your day?'" I laughed a little. It really was the perfect first question for the video. "My day was pretty busy.", I then started to answer. "I had some appointments and interviews, so I've been working pretty much all day. But it still was great. I had a lot of fun, so thank you for asking about my day." I smiled once more and threw the little piece of paper onto the floor next to me.
"Alright, let's get onto the next one." I pulled out another piece of paper and read it out loud. " 'How did you get into F1?' I guess this is a comment that was posted under the photo that I posted when I visited the French GP a couple of weeks ago. At least that's what it looks like. Ehm, I got into F1 thanks to my father. We've been watching it since I was a little girl, and I just always enjoyed watching it with him, even though I had no idea what was going on back in the day. But I would say I know about it now."
I went through most of the pieces of paper after this comment and responded to them appropriately. The majority of them asked me about the time working on Toxic, some about my relationships with my family or Lucas and some others about my personality itself. I had about two or three papers left in the bucket. I pulled one out and scanned the question with my eyes.
" 'I can imagine the past weeks have been hard for you. What was the worst thing that had happened since you became famous?' Ahh, that's a difficult one to answer. Most of the things that changed had been changed for the good." I saw in the corner of my eyes that Julian was watching me closely. Even though he didn't have to. He knew as well as I did they were just going to cut the parts out that they didn't want to be published.
"I had an encounter with some fans outside of my hotel a couple of days back in London, which would have been fine, I love meeting you guys and chatting with you, but they crossed personal boundaries. So maybe this experience isn't that nice. Or on some occasions, maybe the paparazzi? Sometimes you just want to be left alone and mind your own business, and it's not a nice feeling then if you know there are cameras that watch you closely every time you go out." My hand went into the bucket again and pulled out the last piece of paper. I read the question and needed to smile. This question was too precious.
" 'If you could sing one song to Lucas right now to send him a message, which song would you sing?' " I threw the paper away and watched the ceiling for a second to think about this question. "That is a very good question.", I said to get some more time to think. "Probably this one:" I mentioned to my guitar that was sitting at the opposite wall and one of the managers grabbed it for me and I got ready to play. It was an acoustic version, obviously, but I loved this song and it was just well-fitted for Lucas' and my situation right now. So I picked up the cords and started to sing:
"Tuesday night; Glazed over my eyes; Just one more pint or five; Does it even matter anyway?; We're dancing on tables; And I'm off my face; With all of my people; And it couldn't get better they say; We're singing 'til last call; And it's all out of tune; Should be laughing, but there's something wrong; And it hits me when the lights go on; Shit, maybe I miss you" I set down the guitar next to my stool and looked at the camera.
"Probably that one. I don't know. It gets the message." I laughed once more. "Alright, but that's it again for this video. Thank you for tuning in. Bye." Julian stopped the camera and I relaxed a little. That was the last appointment I had for today, but the day will be much longer. I looked around the completely empty room. A little sadness grew inside me as I scanned my empty flat. Management employees were rattling around now and packing up the last things, as well as the camera and light.
Julian and the rest of my management decided it would be better for me to move to a flat in London. More specifically, Knightsbridge, London. They already rented a flat there and let me know two weeks ago. It was reasonable if I was being honest to myself. I was closer to work, which was actually in London and close to most members of my family. Besides, the flat that my management rented me looked amazing in pictures. It was almost as big as my old one in Oxford, maybe even a little bigger, and had a great position in the city.
I finally stood up from my chair and it was immediately grabbed, so they could get it on the moving truck. My feet brought me into my old bedroom, where some more boxes were still sitting on the floor. They contained some picture frames, but mostly clothes. On top of one of them was sitting my llama, looking at me friendly. I kneeled down in front of that specific box.
"I really like how you've behaved in the past couple of weeks." My head shut around and I watched Julian stand in the doorframe. He leaned on it with his left shoulder. His arms covered the front of his perfectly clean white button-down. A belt held up his black jeans around his waist. "No drama, good media presence, great work done."
"Thanks.", was the only thing that came out of my mouth. My head turned back to the box in front of me and I continued to scan through the things. I was hurt by being denied to see my friends but they didn't care.
"And you know why that went as smoothly as it did?", he continued without really reacting to my tone of voice. He knew I was annoyed by his comments. He knew I enjoyed the weekend at the F1 paddock back in France. And he knew it annoyed me that they had me watched closely.
"No, why?", I asked ironically because I knew he would tell me either way. No matter what I would answer.
"Because you listened to me and you didn't get distracted by other, unimportant things.", he explained. I could basically hear the smirk on his lips. 'Unimportant things', yea sure. He didn't have to say names or call them 'the F1 drivers', as he had been calling them in the past weeks, for me to know he was talking about them. As if having friends and a good time wasn't important in life. As if my life should only be working, isolated from any social contact that wasn't my boyfriend, family or management. At the moment it felt like it.
"So, does that mean you won't be monitoring me twenty-four seven anymore?", I asked as I pushed myself up and turned around to look at him.
"No, but just talk to me when you have plans. That's all I'll ask." I nodded and his eyes fell onto the boxes. "Come on, I'll help you carrying this stuff." He passed me and grabbed two of the three boxes by putting one on top of the other. I grabbed the other one and followed him into the living room again. The flat was completely empty now. Not a single person, except for us, of course, was in the flat. Silence hovered over the rooms. It was scary.
"By the way. The past weeks have been very successful.", Julian stated as he opened the door. "I've received several offers for new roles. We should sit down and discuss the options in some of the next days."
"Yes, that sounds good.", I answered as I took one final look back into my old flat. I didn't expect moving out to be that hard. Well, what did I expect? I spent the last three years of my life in this flat and a lot of great memories were connected to these premises. I needed to swallow when the dor fell into the hinges. With a heavy heart, I followed Julian down the stairs and turned right, when we went through the main entrance door of the house. After packing the boxes into the moving truck, my manager and I went to a rental car of the management and I drove to Knightsbridge, London myself.
---
The drive itself took about one and a half hours. We got stuck in some traffic due to some construction, but other than that the drive was pretty much quiet. I parked the car close to my new flat, and left the car to be immediately called. Some paparazzi were waiting closeby, and I quickly smiled and waved at the cameras, before following my manager around the corner and out of their sight. Gosh, I hate this. Can't they give me one moment to get used to moving into a new flat? Now they already now the area where I live. Great.
The moving company was already busy with getting all my furniture into the new rooms. When I entered the flat, I saw that some furniture pieces were already sitting comfortably in their spot, even though I didn't decide anything. A female manager of my management, whose name I didn't know, was instructing the workers where to put the single pieces of furniture. I entered the new bedroom and found my bed already set up in the middle of the room with its headpiece on the wall. There wasn't a mattress in it yet, so I just left again and entered the kitchen.
The kitchen was probably the nicest room in my new apartment. It was completely new and modern. All of the cupboards and kitchenettes were made out of a polished white material that I couldn't name. A kitchen island divided the room into two halves. I could already imagine myself cooking and eating in here a lot. At the kitchen island, there were already sitting some bar stools, so I grabbed a glass of water and sat down there. I guessed that the kitchen was the first thing the moving company had set up. Maybe because it was the room with the least things to set up. I grabbed my phone and headphones and went a bit through social media, as I heard the moving company and my managers working and setting up my new apartment.
---
After about another two hours of waiting for the people to set up my flat, I was joined in the kitchen by Julian. I asked a couple of times if I could help with something but they either send me away straight away or ignored me completely. So I gave up after three times of trying and just stayed seated in the bar stool in the kitchen.
"We're finally done.", my manager said as he sat down in the stool next to me. I took out my headphones and smiled at him. "You can have a look now. But if you want to hear my opinion: it looks cosy and nice. Very welcoming." I nodded, stood up and took a stroll through the rooms. Julian was right. The entire apartment was very cosy and welcoming. I already felt at home to be honest. Still, I knew I would need some nights to completely get used to the new surroundings. But I was willing to do that. It wasn't something that was unbearable to do. Just when I was done walking through the different rooms, there was a knock on the door. Confused and suspicious on who that could be, I opened the door a small bit and looked at the person who was standing in front of it. When I recognised the person, I opened the door completely and couldn't believe it.
"What are you doing here?", I said excitedly and jumped into his arms. He laughed, held his arms tight around me and gave a kiss on the cheek.
"Hello to you, too, Tia.", he greeted me and pushed me a little away from him, so we looked at each other. My eyes scanned my boyfriend's outfit. His blonde hair was styled perfectly, his eyes and face didn't show any sign of tiredness. He was wearing a hoodie and some pair of loose jeans combined with some sneakers. A backpack was strapped around his shoulders and hung from his back and a silver suitcase was standing next to his right. My eyes went up again and met his clear blue eyes.
"Hello, Luc.", I greeted him with a soft voice. "Please, come in." I grabbed his suitcase and pulled it into my flat. Lucas stepped in and slipped out of his shoes, before walking into the kitchen and greeting my manager.
"I'm just going to grab a drink, alright?", he asked me when he opened the fridge.
"Yes, of course. Make yourself at home.", I said and sat down again. "But seriously, what are you doing here?", I repeated my question as Lucas poured some juice into a glass. He smiled.
"I heard, you were moving so I thought I'd surprise you.", Lucas explained while looking at Julian, who nodded slightly.
"Well, that's just amazing. Thank you.", I said and smiled.
"Alright, I guess I'll let you catch up.", Julian then said and walked towards the door. "Tia, I'll text you the details for our next meeting. Bye, then." Without waiting for an answer, he left the flat and left me and my boyfriend alone.