— Chapter Twelve —
It surely raised suspicions with just how much Mark suddenly appeared to be in their dorm. Not that any of the members were complaining, they all loved the man's presence, but surely enough a few eyebrows were raised.
Donghyuck couldn't blame them, hell he himself was getting a little worried with Mark's behaviour. Of course Donghyuck could understand how it was important for them to spend time together, now that the repacking promotions approached but again Donghyuck felt as if it could easily cross the line and become too much.
On top of all that, Mark stayed over during the nights as well. This wouldn't have been a big deal but when the man woke up next to Donghyuck or appeared in the kitchen in just his pyjamas, showing off his broad shoulders and small waist, Donghyuck could never help but drool at the sight.
Just now they were getting ready for a movie night, one of the last few nights where they wouldn't be all dead asleep due to the intense work of their promotions. Donghyuck had already settled on the couch, Renjun in his arm as the two chatted. Chenle joined them soon, he also stayed at their dorm more often, just like Mark he slept over quite a few times. It was just more convenient at the moment for him to stay in the apartment, seeing as it was less coordination for Chenle and the managers.
However the chinese boy would still often call his mother, facetiming her with the rest of the Dreamies who all wanted to catch a glimpse of Daegal who sadly wasn't allowed at the dorm.
They had done that just today after lunch before everyone had gone back to their own rooms. Donghyuck had even requested pictures of Daegal from Chenle who had laughed but agreed to send him some later. Everyone knew just how much both Chenle and Donghyuck were whipped for the dog.
Then later, they had settled to watch a movie in their group chat. Yes, they were too lazy to walk out and go around to ask in each room. Not all of them would join, for now only Donghyuck, Mark, Jeno, Chenle, Renjun and Jaemin but maybe the others would come in later.
So when the time rolled around, Donghyuck had set up the TV and brought a few snacks from the kitchen. Renjun had joined him afterwards and the two were now settled on the couch, just casually conversing while waiting for the others. Chenle wasn't talking with them, just playing with his phone as he stayed seated on the loveseat.
When Mark stepped in from Donghyuck's room where he had been staying for most nights (for reasons that should stay unmentioned), both Renjun and Donghyuck shut up.
Donghyuck had seen Mark shirtless countless of times. It was bound to happen as idols and bandmates and yet, he felt his eyes gaze over Mark's body more hungrily with each time. And there had been a few times recently, when the two watched Netflix together and one thing led to another and Donghyuck's mouth was suddenly filled with cum or when Mark had been offering his mouth for Donghyuck for the first time and the younger had been so nervous that he had only stared at Mark's stomach while the older suggested it.
The point was, Mark being shirtless shouldn't have as much effect on Donghyuck anymore as it did and at this point it was worrying how badly Donghyuck just wanted to bruise every inch of Mark's pale torso, showing that Mark was his (which he wasn't but during their blow- and handjob procedures Donghyuck pretended he was because god, the thought of claiming Mark as his and the other way around got him off).
Only Renjun's rather awkward cough pulled Donghyuck back into reality. He blushed under both Mark's and Renjun's stares as he realised that he had been googling Mark's chest for maybe a little too long.
"I really need to stop spacing out, it already happened during practice too." Donghyuck said, trying to save himself from embarrassment. Whether it worked or not he couldn't really tell as Jeno stepped into the living room at the same time as he spoke and therefore stole the opportunity from Donghyuck' to say something that could lessen the humiliation he was feeling.
"Jaemin will be there in a second, Jisung is still playing games with Sungchan and Shotaro. I don't think they will join us." Jeno said and then sat down next to Donghyuck, pulling out his phone.
Soon after, Jaemin arrived and settled down between Donghyuck and Renjun while Mark sat down on Renjun's other side. They were now all ready and Donghyuck leaned forward to press play on the movie.
It was some zombie movie which Donghyuck didn't take much interest in. He tried but failed to pay attention and then let his thoughts wander. He thought about the past days, how peaceful they had been. Well, peaceful in relative sense as his throat was still aching from the two or three blowjobs he had given Mark the other day. He had received one as well, it had been a little messy, a little gauche but Mark had done a pretty good job in the end, bringing Donghyuck to his orgasm not once but twice. After that they had just cuddled and Donghyuck smiled at the memory. He liked Mark after their little flings, he was always gentle and allowed Donghyuck to do so much more skinship.
Donghyuck's smile faltered though once he tuned back into reality and looked to the side. He saw Renjun cuddled into the crook of Mark's neck, fast asleep as Mark was petting his head.
Donghyuck loved Renjun, he really did but in this moment he wished for the chinese man to vanish. It was unfair how Renjun had Mark so incredibly whipped, how Mark had always been soft for him while pushing Donghyuck away.
Donghyuck knew it was jealousy but he didn't want to call it that. Anything but that because neither Mark nor Renjun deserved it. They were very much allowed to act like this, to act as close as they were and Donghyuck had no say in it whatsoever. The fact that he didn't like it didn't matter because who was he to tell Renjun or Mark on how to act around one another?
Still it hurt. Donghyuck couldn't even tell if the emotion was fuelled by the fact that him and Mark were now sexual or by the fact that Mark had pushed him away for years. Probably both.
And the worst of all was that Donghyuck couldn't even be mad at Mark. Because Donghyuck was just as whipped for Renjun as Mark was even though their friendships definitely differed from one another. Mark had always been soft with Renjun while Donghyuck loved to tease the chinese man to anger. Two different friendships but them adoring Renjun was the same.
As a result Donghyuck had no one else to blame but himself for feeling the hot anger bubble in his stomach as Renjun unconsciously snuggled farther into Mark's arms, softly snoring. And Mark of course didn't push him away, didn't even acknowledge it because it was so normal. Instead the man's eyes focused on the movie just like everyone else's outside of Donghyuck himself.
Because he felt bad and because a sudden rush of loneliness and longing overcame him, Donghyuck scooted closer to Jeno. The man wasn't as cuddly as Donghyuck but would never reject his skinship. Donghyuck knew that Jeno accepted it because he knew that Donghyuck liked it and not for his own pleasure but right now he just needed to be embraced in strong arms and Jeno definitely had those.
"You okay?" Jeno whispered, so quietly that the movie almost completely drowned it out and Donghyuck could only hear it because he was so close to the man.
"Yes, thank you." he nodded and just let Jeno hold him. The older was so caring, so careful but yet so vigorous. Donghyuck remembered when it was different back when they were under SM Rookies. Jeno had been way smaller, quiet and more unsure of himself. Seeing that now he turned into this confident man, more calm than quiet and packed with muscles from endless hours in the gym, Donghyuck felt a sudden urge to tell Jeno just how proud he was.
He didn't have to though, he knew that Jeno knew that already. Jeno always knew everything, knew what the members needed, knew how to console them, knew how to bring them under his control when they were being too loud, that was when he didn't join their chaos.
Maybe it was because Donghyuck was already emotionally sensitive because of the whole jealousy situation or maybe because he once again realised how much they had grown up, Donghyuck didn't know but he did feel how his eyes suddenly started to tear up. To hide it from any curious eyes, which there weren't any to his knowledge but still, Donghyuck buried his face in Jeno's chest. The older probably wrote it off as Donghyuck being tired so he let it happen, casually petting the younger's hair while continuing to watch the movie.
Feeling Jeno's hand run through his hair and breathing in his familiar smell felt so calming. It gave Donghyuck the same nostalgia as smelling Mark's deodorant, even though his relationships with both men could not be any different.
Donghyuck stayed like this, face buried into Jeno's chest, for a while. It was comfortable and he wasn't interested in the movie anyway. Jeno shifted around though, trying to get himself into a laying position so the two would be more comfortable. The whole time Donghyuck stayed on Jeno's chest, having his eyes closed. Jeno most likely thought he was asleep, hence why he was being so slow and gentle with his movements. It was adorable really.
And then, sometime when the credits rolled, Jeno's breathing had even out and the man emitted the same soft snores that were also audible from Renjun.
Donghyuck had also become sleepy but his head was so stuffed with thoughts, emotions, feelings that he couldn't fall asleep. He heard someone stand up and shuffle around but didn't open his eyes to see who it was.
That person presumably shut off the TV before letting out a chuckle. It was Mark, his chuckles were just so recognisable to Donghyuck. Now, knowing who it was, Donghyuck opened his eyes and tilted his head downwards so he could peek to the others on the couch. Mark was currently draping a blanket over Jaemin and Renjun, the smaller now leaning against Jaemin since Mark wasn't there anymore for support.
Mark then turned to him and Jeno and his lips curved into a smile when he saw that Donghyuck was still awake. However that smile ceased quickly again and was now replaced by that one unreadable expression that Donghyuck hated so much because he could not read Mark's face.
"You're still awake. I thought you were asleep like Jeno." Mark stated the obvious. Donghyuck nodded, his heart beating rapidly for absolutely no reason at all.
"Jeno's a good cuddle buddy." he said, words slurred slightly because he was sleepy and yet he managed to put enough shade into his response that even oblivious Mark would catch it.
"Yeah, he is." Mark agreed, "So is Renjun."
"I could tell." Donghyuck scoffed and somehow now his anger came back. He didn't plan for it but Mark just had to bring up Renjun and with that simply setting Donghyuck off.
"Seems like you are a fan of skinship." Donghyuck continued, again throwing not so subtle shade. Yes, he was still hurt. How could he not be after years of rejection?
"It's Renjun, dude. We all love him, don't even try to deny it." Mark replied, furrowing his eyebrows as he tried to stayed quiet as to not wake up the others who all four were sleeping soundly.
"Of course we love him. I just find it funny how you never rejected him but would always reject me in the past few years." Donghyuck muttered, feeling frustrated.
"I told you already, I'm sorry. I–" but Mark paused. He narrowed his eyes, looking down at Donghyuck who was just sitting on the couch and stared back up at Mark.
"You're not jealous, are you?" Mark asked, voice so full of surprise. Donghyuck could have laughed out loud because God had made Mark talented, attractive, beautiful, smart but just so fucking oblivious that it hurt to watch sometimes.
"Yes, Mark. I'm fucking jealous." Donghyuck snapped, unintentionally raising his voice. Mark's eyes widened, both at his words and at the loudness. He shushed Donghyuck and pulled the younger up by his arm. Donghyuck let him drag him to his room because he knew better than to wake everyone up just so he could argue with Mark.
As soon as the door closed behind them, Donghyuck let out a groan. He leaned against the door, staring Mark down who only looked at him with disbelief in his eyes.
"Why the fuck would you be jealous of Renjun? He is not my soulmate, you are. I thought we established this." the older finally asked after a painful silence.
"Because you cuddle him, Mark. You always have. And that's okay but you can't expect me not to be jealous when I was the one getting rejected while you literally opened your arms for Renjun."
"Okay, so I'm not allowed to cuddle with Renjun?" Mark asked sarcastically, his tone ice cold "But you're allowed to hunch up on Jeno and fall asleep on his chest?"
"Yes." Donghyuck said simply. He know he was being stupid and stubborn but he did not give a shit right now. He endured all this neglect from his supposed soulmate for a little too long as if the past months could make up for it.
"You're crazy, Hyuckie." Mark whispered. And Donghyuck started to cry. Out of literally nowhere, tears dropped from his eyes. His emotional frustration overwhelmed him and he could not hold back the hot tears of.. well, what was it? Anger, sadness, the jealousy. Whatever it was, it did the job as Donghyuck started to bawl his eyes out from one second to another.
He could hear Mark's confused hum, the little noise that he would always make when confused or sad. And it only made Donghyuck cry harder. He was tired already and with each tear energy left his body until he couldn't hold himself up anymore. Luckily Mark had long pulled Donghyuck into a hug, whispering apologies and comforting words as he soothingly rubbed Donghyuck's back.
How was he being so sweet now? Donghyuck nuzzled his head into Mark's neck, like Renjun had done before, and wetted the skin with his tears. Mark didn't speak up, didn't seem to mind, only continued to comfort Donghyuck.
"How about this, I'll try my best to stay away from Renjun when the cameras aren't rolling? But then I want you to do the same."
"And why not on-camera?" Donghyuck knew he was pushing it and he heard and felt Mark take a deep breath. However the man stayed patient and god, he was so attentive when he spoke.
"Because that will raise suspicions, no? Our fans will notice that shit immediately, you know them."
Mark was right, Donghyuck knew it. He didn't reply, only desperately tried to stop his tears. It was ridiculous how worked up he was getting about such a little thing. But Mark didn't make fun of him for it, didn't invalidate Donghyuck's feelings, didn't even tell him off. He was a true leader, staying patient.
Donghyuck wasn't dumb. He knew the toll that being a leader took on Mark sometimes but yet Donghyuck had always been there when Mark had needed him and the other way around, just like right now.
When the tear stains on Donghyuck's cheeks dried and the older thing being heard were the younger's small hiccups, Donghyuck finally pulled away and stepped back. He looked at Mark who kept his eyes on Donghyuck as well, probably checking to see if he was okay now.
"I'm sorry for getting jealous."
Donghyuck's ears were flushed red and he didn't meet Mark's eyes when he spoke. Instead he had walked to his bed and sat on it, deeming his fingernails as the most important thing in the room right now.
"It's okay, it's cute honestly. I was just a little overwhelmed with your sudden outburst." Mark replied and sat down next to Donghyuck. The latter turned his head and hesitantly looked up at Mark.
Mark looked perfect. They hadn't even turned the light on, the moon providing enough light for them to see everything clearly. This Donghyuck loved in his room because he didn't need a night light then.
Now he thanked the moonlight for something else though. It shone right onto Mark, making it seem like the older was glowing. And fuck, Mark was mesmerising. His slightly messy hair, the unique cheekbones, the eyes that stayed on Donghyuck's face while the younger took in all off Mark.
"Hyung." Donghyuck whispered as they locked their eyes. Mark hummed, licking his lips and Donghyuck's eyes immediately followed the motion before flicking back up to Mark's eyes. Those pretty doe eyes that held all the stars in them. Surely enough, Mark was some angel sent by the gods or else Donghyuck had no way of explaining his ethereal looks.
Mark leaned over, causing Donghyuck's breath to hitch when the older's hand cupped Donghyuck's cheek and wiped away any tear stains that could be left.
Seeing as Mark was significantly closer now, Donghyuck could spot even more details in the man's face. His cute mole on the cheek, his pretty eyelashes and of course, those goddamn eyes. And he smelled good as well, it was so unfair.
"Hyung." Donghyuck whispered once again, his eyes falling down to Mark's lips. He couldn't help it, couldn't help the need to have them on his own. Mark hummed once again, raising his free hand up to cup Donghyuck's face as well.
"Kiss me." Donghyuck breathed out, voice so weak that it almost wasn't audible. But Mark had heard it nonetheless and finally kissed Donghyuck in a slow and soft kiss.
It was like a sensory overload to Donghyuck. He drowned in Mark's smell, tasted Mark's lips, tangled his fingers in Mark's hair to keep him close, gasped into the kiss as Mark's fingers moved from his face to his waist. It was just so much and as beautiful as it was, it made Donghyuck sleepy. Mark must have felt this response as he slowed their kiss even further and pulled Donghyuck down with him to lay down.
The younger didn't hesitate, letting Mark control his every move as the older navigated them under the covers and their heads onto the pillow until all that was left to do in order for them to fall asleep was to stop the kiss. And that Donghyuck did, not because he wanted to though but because he was running out of air and his lungs stung.
"You alright, baby?" Mark asked in a hushed voice that made Donghyuck's heart flutter. Mark didnt sound like he was talking to his best friend anymore, rather a lover. A privilege that up until now only very few people had. Donghyuck knew he wasn't one of them, he wasn't Mark's lover, just his friend with benefits but it was nice still, hearing the way Mark spoke his words so softly.
Donghyuck only hummed as a response before softly pressing his lips onto Mark's once again, slowly growing even more tired until he couldn't be bothered to move his mouth anymore. Mark stopped returning the kiss and instead pulled Donghyuck down a little so the younger could rest in the crook of Mark's neck like he always loved to do. The fact that Mark did not only allow him but also now made him do it was giving Donghyuck butterflies but he suppressed them, feeling so tired that he closed his eyes and just let Mark's scent flow into his nose while he fell asleep.