~*****~
You could feel the tension. It was awful. The deadline for Dean's year had finally come upon us. And he was getting plagued constantly with horrible nightmares. I rubbed at my tired eyes as I pulled them away from the research I'd been trying to do about Hell hounds. "Dig up anything?" Sam asks as Dean jerks up from his slumber.
"No," I sigh tiredly. "Nothing good."
Sam just smiles. "Well, Bobby has, finally." Sam retorts.
"Yeah?" Dean hums.
"Yeah. A way to find Lilith." Sam nods.
"Wow. With just, uh, thirty hours to go." Dean recites. "Hey, why don't we just make a T.J. run, you know? Some senoritas, cervezas? We could-- what's Spanish for Donkey Show?"
I give a snort. "So, if we do save you... Let's never do that." I mention.
"Yeah, I'm with her." Sam agrees. "Hey, hey, Dean... Look, we're cutting it close, I know." Sam says softly as he joins us at the table. "But we're gonna get this done. I don't care what it takes, Dean. You're not gonna go to Hell. I'm not gonna let you. I swear. Everything's gonna be okay."
Dean just stares at Sam in silence, and it's hard to tell what he's thinking nowadays. "Yeah... Okay." Dean nods.
~*****~
I gazed at the strange contraption Bobby had brought out. "So, you got a name? That's the whole kit and caboodle." Bobby explains as we set it up over a map. "With the right name, the right ritual, ain't nothing you can't suss out."
"Like the town Lilith's in?" Sam asks.
"Kid, when I get done, we'll know the street." Bobby retorts. He begins speaking in Latin after rotating the pendulum on the top. The tip at the bottom stopped on a small town.
"New Harmony, Indiana." I hum softly.
"We have a winner." Bobby nods.
"All right, let's go." Sam says.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on." Dean stops him. "Just holster up there, Tex."
"What's the problem?" I ask.
"What's the problem?" Dean echoes as if it were obvious. "Come on, where do I begin? I mean, first of all, we don't even know if Lilith actually holds my deal. We're going off of Bela's intel? Now, when that bitch breathes, the air comes out crooked, okay? Second, even if we could get to Lilith, we have no way to gank her. And third, isn't this the same Lilith that wants our giant head on a pike? Should I continue?"
"Ain't you just bringing down the room?" Bobby snorts.
Dean chuckles. "Well, it's a gift."
"I'm sorry," Sam snaps. "So, then, what are we supposed to do, Dean?"
"Well, just 'cause I got to die doesn't mean you have to, okay? Either we go in smart or we don't go in at all."
"Okay, fine." I hum. "If that's the case, I got a solution."
"You do?" Dean raises an eyebrow.
"Yes, a surefire way to confirm its Lilith and a way to get us a bona fide demon-killing ginsu." I recite.
"Dammit, Lottie, no!" Dean barked.
"We are so past arguing, and trust me, I wouldn't be suggesting it if I wasn't certain." I snap at him. "Dean, Sam and I are summoning that black eyed bitch."
"The hell you are! We got enough problems as it is!" Dean barks.
"Exactly, and we got no time and no choice either." Sam backs me up.
"Come on, man, she is the miss universe of lying skanks, okay?" Dean argues. "She told you that she could save me, huh? Lie! She seems to know everything about Lilith but forgot to mention-- oh right-- Lilith owns my soul!"
"Okay, fine, she's a liar. She's still got that knife." Sam shoots back.
"Dean?" I chirp irritably.
"For all we know, she works for Lilith!" Dean snaps.
"Then give me another option, Dean!" Sam bellows. "I mean, tell me what else!"
"Sam's right," Bobby tries.
"No! Damn it!" Dean shouts. "Just no. We are not gonna make the same mistakes all over again. You guys want to save me, find something else."
I grimace and sit on the edge of one of the window sills, my hand curling around my belly. "Where are you going, Bobby?" I ask softly.
"I guess to--" Bobby grunts as he shunts on his vest. "Find something else."
I nod and get up, padding towards Dean. "Hey," I hum softly as Sam leaves the room. "Look, I know it's not the best idea, but don't get too mad at them."
Dean turned his gaze up onto me. "Lottie, we're not summoning Ruby. End of discussion."
I nod sullenly. "I'm anxious, too." I mention. "I just... I need to do something to help you, but it feels like every solution seems to end with summoning Ruby. I can't-- I can't lose you, Dean."
Dean tugs me to his side, his forehead pressing against my belly. "Talk to me about something else." He says softly.
I huff through my nose and nod. "I came up with a list of names, you know, for you to pick through." I mention.
"Oh yeah?" He chuckles. I nod eagerly and tug the small list from my pocket and hand it over. Dean leans back in his chair and tugs me onto his lap, his gaze suddenly warm and inviting. "You wanna name it after my mom?" He asks softly.
I nod with a hum. "If it's a girl, yeah." Dean smiles again and returns to gazing at the list.
"I love you." Dean hums softly. "This is... It's nice. I'm grateful. We'll figure this out, Lottie. I promise you."
I nod again and lean my forehead against his. "Should we... stop Sam, then?" I ask softly.
Dean sighs heavily and nods. "Yeah. Let's go."
~*****~
I was glad Dean had obsessed with putting up those devils traps in the basement. Although, I wasn't too happy Sam had went ahead and summoned Ruby. "So, that's you, huh?" Dean hums as he interrupts her. "Our slutty little yoda."
"Dean." She says in a sickly sweet tone. "Charming as ever."
"Oh, I knew you'd show up... 'Cause I knew Sam wouldn't listen! But you're not gonna teach him anything. You understand me? Over my dead body." Dean growls.
"Oh. Well, you're right about that." Ruby snorts.
"What you are gonna do is give me that knife." Dean orders. "Then you can go crawl back into whatever slop you came from and never bother me or my brother again. Are we clear?"
"You brother is carrying a bomb inside of him, and we'd be stupid not to use it." Ruby snaps. "She's not any use right now, thanks to junior."
"Watch it, bitch--" Dean growled.
"Guys, look, just hold on--" Sam tries.
"Sam, don't. Come on, man. What are you, blind? Can't you see that this is a trick?" Dean asks.
"That's not true--"
"She wants you to give in to this whole demonic, psychic whatever, okay? I mean, hell, she probably wants you to become her little, antichrist superstar." Dean says angrily.
"I want Lilith dead." Ruby argues. "That's all."
"Why?" Dean asks.
"I've told you why."
"Oh, right, yeah. Because you were human once, and you like kittens and long walks on the beach." Dean snorts.
"You know, I am so sick of proving myself to you. You want to save yourself, this is how, you dumb, spineless dick!" Ruby shouts.
Dean snorts and I back up a little as he rears his arm back, and sucker punches Ruby in the mouth. And she hits back-- hard, beating on both Sam and Dean. "Enough," I snap as I grab her arm, and she shunts in her spot, growling out curses as she struggles. I tug the knife from her waist belt and shove her aside. "Just because you think that my powers are gone, doesn't mean that you're right." I snap.
"I'll kill you, you son of a bitch." Ruby growls and starts towards me. She stops, her mouth pulling into a frown.
"Like Dean said. He knew you'd show your ass eventually." I hum softly.
"You're just gonna leave me here?" Ruby gasps.
"Let's go, guys." I snap.
"Oh, so, you're just too stupid to live, is that it?" Ruby barks. "Then fine! You deserve hell!" She bellows at Dean. "I wish I could be there, Dean. I wish I could smell the flesh sizzle off your bones! I wish I could be there to hear you scream!"
"Yeah, I wish you'd shut your pie hole, but we don't always get what we want." Dean retorts tiredly.
~*****~
"What, you gonna let Ruby rot down there?" Sam asks after what felt like an eternity of nothing but guns being loaded.
"That's the idea," Dean responds without batting an eye.
"Dean, what if, uh... What if Ruby's right?" Sam asks. "What if I can take Lilith out?"
I set my gun down and gazed up at Sam, a subtle shake to my head. "Sam," I urge softly.
"Quit looking at me like that." Sam pleads.
"What, are you gonna give her the Carrie stare, and Lilith goes poof?" Dean asks.
"I don't know what Ruby meant. You know, maybe we should just go ask her." Sam says.
"Sam, you wanted the knife." I retort. "I got you to knife."
"Guys, just listen to me for a second," Sam urges. "Last time, Lilith snapped her fingers and put thirty demons on our ass, and all we got's one little knife? I mean, like you said, we go in smart of we don't go in at all."
"Well, this ain't smart," Dean counters.
"We got one shot at this, Dean-- just one." Sam pleads. "So, if there's a surefire way, then maybe we should just talk about it."
"Sam, we are not gonna make the same mistake all over again." Dean urges.
"You said that, but what does that even mean?" Sam asks.
"Don't you see a pattern here?" He retorts. "Dad's deal, my deal, now this? I mean, every time one of us is up the creek, the other is begging to sell their soul. That's all this is, man. Ruby's just jerking your chain down the road. You know what it's paved with, and you know where it's going."
Sam sighs heavily. "Dean." He tries. "What are you afraid is gonna happen? This is me. I can handle it. And if it'll save you--"
"Why even risk it?" Dean asks.
"Because you're my brother." Sam says. "And because you did the same thing for me."
Dean snorts. "I know. And look how that turned out. All I'm saying... Sammy, all I'm saying is that you and Lottie are my weak spots. You are. And I'm yours."
Sam and I exchange curious glances. "You don't meant that. We're-- we're family." Sam expresses.
"I know." Dean nods. "And those evil sons of bitches know it, too. I mean, what we'll do for each other, you know, how far we'll go-- They're using that against us."
"So, what, we just stop looking out for each other?" Sam asks.
"No, we stop being martyrs, man." Dean retorts. "We stop spreading it for these demons. We take this knife, and we go after Lilith our way, the way dad taught us to. And if we go down, then, uh... Then we go down swinging. What do you think?"
Sam is silent for a moment. "I think you totally should've been jamming to Eye of the Tiger right there." Sam responds softly.
I can't help it. A snort escapes my throat, followed by childish giggles. "Bite me," Dean retorts before swatting at my butt. "I totally rehearsed that speech, too."
"Sorry, baby." I retort playfully. "So," I trail off. "Indiana, huh?"
"Yeah. Where Lilith is on shore leave." Dean responds.
"Yeah, I guess." Sam sighs.
"Tell me something," Dean says. "What the hell does a demon do for fun?"
I lift my hands up. "I don't want to think about it."