After the world felt like it was going to collapse, everything went by in a blur.
The pain.
The scream.
The sadness.
And the utter madness which seemed to let loose deep inside of me.
Unfamiliar hands were reaching after me. Grabbing me. Pulling on my clothes, trying to comfort me. But I tore myself away. I couldn't think straight anymore. There was too much going on. Too much to handle.
I felt it. Something inside of me just broke.
I wanted to run. Run far, far away. Run after the distant memories, the distant voices - trying to catch the unreachable.
I would never be able to talk to my family and Jess again.
It's all gone.
It just proved that at some point, even the strongest hearts would break.
* * *
Zero's POV
It came unexpected and sudden. Like millions of glass shards and daggers were piercing themselves into my heart, grabbing onto it, tearing and ripping it to shreds. And then I heard it. A silent scream. Right in my head.
Her scream.
And without thinking for even a mere second, I started to run. Following my intuition, leading me towards her. As I sprinted through the college's hallways, I noticed how close she was. But why? Why is she here?
A sense of discomfort slowly wrapped itself around my heart. She shouldn't be here. I sped up as I suddenly heard loud commotion coming out of the head's office.
Not even one second after, the heavy wooden door was banged open, nearly ripping off a nearby picture frame from the wall.
And then I saw her. Her dark long hair falling down onto her back in wild strands, her hazel eyes which were frantically looking around, seeming to look for an escape.
Her hands were trembling irregularly, in fact, her whole body did.
I immediately stopped in my tracks. Slight anger was rushing through me as I watched her discheveled appearance. Who the fuck did this to her? What happened?
I slowly started to approach her, feeling her sorrow, guilt and regret filling me with each step I got closer to her. Emotions I knew too well. She seemed to sense my presence as her gaze suddenly locked with mine.
Confused hazel eyes were staring right into my grey ones. Then I saw her mouthing my name, without even hearing a sound.
"It's alright," I whispered while slowly closing our distance. I didn't know what happened to her but it didn't sit right with me, seeing her like that. Something inside of me just hated it.
Fuck.
One reason I didn't want us to meet was exactly because of this. Feelings which were nothing but fake. Nothing but fabricated by our forced bond. But right now all of this didn't matter. I just needed to know why she was here and what made her look like this.
Tears were streaming down her face non-stop, her gaze not breaking mine. All of her sorrow just surged right through me, slowly seeping into my skin and bones.
Then another girl suddenly came out of the head's office, slowly approaching her. I almost couldn't believe it. It was Lilian. It had been far too long since I had last seen her and now she was standing here. Right next to my soulmate.
"What are you doing here?", I asked. I knew Lilian was just there if something serious had happened. She was the type to vanish into thin air after accomplishing her mission or something she really wanted to do.
"It's... a long story, Zero. I'll tell you later but right now Elle is -" She stilled as she glanced towards my soulmate. So Elle was her name. Her trembling didn't seem to stop and the tons of tears just kept rolling down her chin.
"I wanna go home," her small voice whispered as she looked me straight in the eyes. And in that moment a strong surge of emotions swept over me again. Something inside of me just longed to fulfill her wish but I tried to stay calm and glanced at Lilian.
"I don't know what she's doing here but take her home. This isn't a place for her." I saw Elle anxiously biting her lip as she listened to me.
"You aren't dumb, Zero. You should know that she isn't here for nothing." Lilian suddenly stated. "She can't leave anymore."
My fists balled as she said that. "What do you mean she can't leave?"
Slight irritation crossed my mind. I never wanted to meet my soulmate and bring her into all this mess. It was never my intention. So why the hell was she here?
Lilian only sighed. "You know exactly what I mean. When you took her back then, they noticed and I guess, someone had her on the radar ever since. And then yesterday... Too many things happened, Zero. It's complicated." A regretful expression crossed her face. "She's one of us now."
The air around me started to feel tight as this sentence seemed to hit right into my guts.
No.
I stared at Lilian, then at Elle whose gaze still didn't shift away from me. Her tears had stopped and instead of that, a blank expression was replacing her former sad one.
I hated that look on her face and immediately strided towards her. "Elle."
She didn't react but just stood there. I pressed my lips tightly shut as I watched her. I hated this blank look on her.
"Wake the fuck up.", I said while Lilian suddenly stepped in front of her with a shocked expression, hindering me from getting through.
"What are you saying, Zero, she just -"
"She just what?" Anger seethed through my mind. I couldn't comprehend why my soulmate was right in front of me. I just couldn't. It shouldn't have been like this. Meeting her shouldn't have ever happened in the first place.
"I just died." Suddenly, a small whisper came out from Elle's lips. I halted in my tracks as I watched her. The hazel of her eyes bored themselves into mine and even if they still looked painfully empty, she repeated it again.
"I just died." It sounded even weaker than her first whisper.
And then it happened. Like someone just pressed down onto a certain button, her eyes suddenly rolled back and she fell.
* * *
Elle's POV
It was noon when I finally opened my eyes. I needed to blink a few times to finally get used to the few sunrays which shone down from the window above my head. Where am I?
My throat felt hoarse, like I haven't had water for several days and my limbs felt like they were glued to the mattress I was laying on but I fought my way up until I was now sitting on the bed.
My eyes slowly wandered around the room. It had a decent size and even looked kind of cute. The walls were painted in a soft dusky pink while the furniture was made out of a dark wooden material which almost seemed black.
One table and a chair, three shelves and a small closet in the corner and then my bed.
How long was I out for? I remembered being overwhelmed by this unbearable pain. This exhausting pain which still throbbed in my chest, not ever stopping even once.
I also remembered running out of Mr. Well's office and seeing Zero. It was weird because it felt like a long decade since I had last seen him, even if it had just been a few months. And after that I most likely blacked out.
I sighed as I slowly stood up from the bed. My steps felt weak but I still dragged myself towards the door. I want to go home. I pressed my lips shut as thoughts about my family surged into me again.
How should I survive this? I was alone. All alone. And I was nothing. Nothing more than a simple girl who had a normal life and just happened to have a miserable fate. I wasn't the type to indulge myself in all this negativity but I still felt broken.
I didn't even know how much time had passed since I collapsed and hell - I didn't even know where I was right now. Small tears started glistening in my eyes again but I quickly wiped them away.
I had so many mixed feelings right now. I knew it wasn't actually my place to cry because it was me who did this. I did this to my family and Jess. They were probably in more pain than I was. So who was I to cry like this? I scoffed. Now I even felt guilty about feeling sad.
A sudden knock on the door tore me from my thoughts. I only stood there, not saying anything as the knob slowly turned and a familiar figure entered the room. Dark grey eyes bored themselves into mine, a slight sense of surprise in them.
"You're finally awake." Zero stated in a calm voice. I only nodded as I just stood there, lost in the middle of the room.
"How long was I out for?", I asked - my voice coarse. He seemed to notice as he handed me the bottle of water he already held in his hands.
This felt like a déjà-vu. That one time I woke up in an unfamiliar room, he also gave me something to drink. I thankfully took it as Zero finally answered.
"For one week."
I immediately choked on my water. "One week?!" My chin fell.
I actually thought that just a few hours have gone by. But one week? So my family had thought that I was gone for seven days already. My heart started throbbing again.
"You know what happened already, right?", I quietly asked. Zero nodded.
"Lilian told me. I'm sorry." His head slightly dropped as he said that. "I'm sorry for your loss."
It sounded like my family was the one who actually died - and not me. But then again it was the same. They had lost me and I was forced to lose them, too.
The pain was almost unbearable. And I wished I could do something to make everything a little less painful but I didn't know how to.
As I looked at him, I felt his regret flowing into my mind. Dark strands of his hair were loosely falling onto his forehead, casting a shadow onto his face. He looked tired, like he couldn't catch on days of sleep.
In comparison to the last time I saw him, his eyes looked a little bit less cold right now. Maybe it was because he really felt some sympathy towards me. But nothing more.
"Well. Shit happens." I quietly whispered, enduring the whirl of sorrow overcoming me again. "But where am I?"
"You're in one of the dorm rooms on campus. We put you in a single room, so that you can have some privacy and get used to all of this." Some privacy, huh.
"And you are here because...?", I slowly asked. He raised an eyebrow at my tone but still answered. "Because I was assigned to be your lovely babysitter." Judging from his sour expression, he really didn't like that. At all.
But here he was. It was probably some order from high above. I mean, we were in some kind of weird organization, so stuff like that was just like in the movies, right?
Zero suddenly sighed as he watched me. "I know you are still mourning. But the organization doesn't give breaks." His voice turned cold as he said that.
It kind of shook me because I could swear that I felt his regret panging in my chest. So why was he saying it like he didn't care?
"Sure." I then pressed out and followed him out of the room.
* * *
We entered an office in which a stern looking woman stood. She wore a suit and had her hair up in a tight bun, holding several files in her hand. Her name was engraved on a big silver name tag which stood at the corner of a table. Dr. Nelson.
"Miss, I'm sorry for your loss." These were the first words she said, however there was no sympathy -neither in her voice nor in her eyes. The woman seemed used to this kind of situation, like she already did this several times before.
I only nodded and wondered how many people actually knew about my "tragedy" right now.
"As you already know, you're officially dead.", the woman suddenly started, while sorting out some documents on the table in front of her. No sympathy. No empathy. Just an uncaring demeanor.
Not like I expected that but I was still surprised by this kind of cold treatment. I mean, Lilian did say that I was no exception and that mostly everyone here had some kind of similar past but I still wasn't prepared for this level of nonchalance.
"It's essential that you get a new identity. Your high school and college achievements will be transfered to your new name, so you won't need to worry about that." She then continued while mustering me with a stern expression.
I nearly scoffed. Everyone seemed to think I worried about my college degree right now. No one even gave a damn about the chaos inside.
The woman noticed my silence and sighed. "We kept your first name, however changed your surname to Sinclair. You will be attending to your college classes by next week and start your training as an agent. Working here means that your family will be kept safe, as well."
I suddenly felt Zero tense up next to me.
"I'm against her becoming an agent. She doesn't even know anything. At all.", he said between clenched teeth. The woman only chuckled.
"You are smart, Zero. We will build her to be an agent, like everyone else before her. So this surely won't be a problem. And you know that this is especially important because she is clearly your soulmate."
I flinched as she said that. Just because I was an soulmate. All this was only because of that.
"Who cares? I can finish the missions without a soulmate just fine. Just like I always have, so what's the deal now?" Although I saw Zero balling his fists until his knuckles turned white, his eyes stayed composed.
The woman shook her head. "Since when were you going against orders?"
Zero stilled for a second. "I don't need her near me. This bond is just a bother." A bother, huh. Well, sure it was.
It irritated me how he said that about me. It wasn't like I wanted to be here.
"I'll do it.", I finally said, trying to make my voice sound as determined as possible. A part of me did it in defiance to his words but another part of me just didn't care about anything anymore - except for my family's safety.
Lilian already said it would be dangerous. But why should I actually care? Protecting my family and Jess was my priority and anyways, it wasn't like I had anything to lose anymore.
"I'll become an agent." To ensure their safety.
I heard how Zero inhaled sharply and watched me with cold eyes. The air seemed to freeze around me but I ignored it. It wasn't the first time he was looking at me like this.
The woman suddenly smiled as she heard me. "Sure thing, Miss Sinclair. Orders are orders, right?"
Sinclair. It sounded uncomfortably unfamiliar.
Then Dr. Nelson pointed a finger at the man next to me. "And you will train her, Zero."
He immediately tried to protest but the look she gave him was resolute. I saw how he clenched his fists as he gave her a cold glare.
However, it didn't seem to bother her as she only looked at me.
A complacent smile curled her lips, a smile which didn't reach her eyes.
"Well then. Miss Sinclair, welcome to the rebellion."
____
Hey guys!
First of all, thank you for over 500 reads and nearly 200 votes! I really appreciate it!
And of course, I hope you're well and healthy and could enjoy this chapter. <3
Feel free to tell me what you think of this sad "plot twist" since Chap. 16 and don't forget to vote if you'd like to!
Yours Christine