<S1 E13>
-Nicolina's P.O.V-
At Central Perk Phoebe is with her boyfriend Roger talking to Me,Rachel and Monica.
Phoebe:Oh honey,honey tell them the story about your patient who thinks things are like other things.Y'know?.Like the phone rings and she takes a shower.
Roger:That's pretty much it.
Phoebe:Oops!.
Roger:But you tell it really well sweetie.
Phoebe:Thanks.Okay now go away so we can talk about you.
Roger:Okay.I'll miss you."Walks away".
Phoebe:Isn't he great?.
Rachel:He's so cute.
Nico:And he seems to like you so much.
Phoebe:I know,I know.So sweet and so complicated.And for a shrink he's not too shrinky y'know?.
Monica:So you think you'll do it on his couch?.
Phoebe:Oh I don't know,I don't know.I think that's a little weird y'know?.Vinyl.
Rachel:Okay."To guys on couch".Any of you guys want anything else?.
Chandler:Oh yes could I have one of those."Points".
Rachel:No I'm sorry we're all out of those.Anybody else?.
Chandler:Okay.
Roger:Did I uh did I miss something?.
Chandler:No she's still upset because I saw her boobies.
Ross:You what?.Wh-what were you doing seeing her boobies?.
Chandler:It was an accident.Not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of donuts.
Rachel:Okay,okay could we change the subject please?.
Phoebe:Yeah cause hello these are not her boobies these are her breasts.
Rachel:Okay Pheebs I was hoping for more of a change.
Chandler:Y'know I don't know why you're so embarrassed they were very nice boobies.
Rachel:Nice?.They were nice.I mean that's it?.I mean mittens are nice.
Chandler:Okay."Gestures".Rock,hard place,me.
Roger:You're so funny!.He's really funny!.I wouldn't wanna be there when when the laughter stops.
Chandler:Woah,woah back up there Sparky.What'd you mean by that?.
Roger:Oh just seems as though that maybe you have intimacy issues.Y'know that you use your humour as a way of keeping people at a distance.
Chandler:Huh.
Roger:I mean hey.I just met you I don't know you from Adam...Only child right?.Parents divorced before you hit puberty.
Chandler:Uhuh how did you know that?.
Roger:It's textbook.
Joey enters with his dad Mr.Joey Tribbiani Sr.
Joey:Hey you guys.Hey you all know my dad right?.
All:Hey!.Hey Mr.Trib!.
Nico:Hey Mr.T.
Monica:Hey how long are you in the city?.
Senior:Just for a coupla days.I got a job midtown.I figure I'm better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry."Sees Roger".I don't know this one.
Phoebe:Oh this is my friend Roger.
Roger:Hi.
Senior:Hey,hey.Good to meet you Roger.
Roger:You too sir.
Senior:"To Phoebe".What happened to the uh puppet guy?.
Joey:Dad,dad."Shakes head".
Senior:Oh scuse me.So Ross uh how's the wife?.
Ross whines and lays his head on Chandler's shoulder.
Senior:Off there too huh?.Uh Chandler quick say something funny.
*Time Lapse*
At Monica and Rachel's Joey is telling us about his father's affair.
Joey:It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life.He's like actually some spy working for the C.I.A."Considers".That'd be cool....This blows!.
Rachel:I know I mean why can't parents just stay parents?.
Rachel walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays on her chest.
Rachel:Why do they have to become people?.Why do they have."Sees Chandler".Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?.
Chandler:"Without looking up".What?."Looks up".What?.
Rachel:Did you not get a good enough look the other day?.
Ross:Alright,alright.We're all adults here there's only one way to resolve this.Since you saw her boobies I think uh you're gonna have to show her your peepee.
Chandler:Y'know I don't see that happening?.
Rachel:C'mon he's right.Tit for tat.
Chandler:Well I'm not showing you my tat.
The intercom buzzes.
Monica:Hello?.
(Intercom- Phoebe:It's Phoebe.
Roger:And Rog.)
Monica:C'mon up.
Chandler:"Sarcastically".Oh good.Rog is here.
Joey:What's the matter with Rog?.
Nico:Yeah?.
Chandler:Oh it's nothing,it's a little thing...I hate that guy.
Ross:What so he was a little analytical.That's what he does y'know?.C'mon he's not that bad.
*Time Lapse*
Me,Chandler,Ross and Roger sitting at the table.
Ross:"Upset".Y'see that's where you're wrong.Why would I marry her if I thought on any level that-that she was a lesbian?.
Roger:I dunno.Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail.
Ross:Why?.Why would I why?.Why?.Why?.Why?.
Roger:I don't know.Maybe-maybe low self-esteem,maybe-maybe to compensate for overshadowing a sibling maybe you-
Monica:Wait-wait go back to that sibling thing.
Roger:Well I don't know.I mean it's conceivable that you wanted to sabotage your marriage so that the sibling would feel less of a failure in the eyes of the parents.
Ross:That-that's ridiculous!.I don't feel guilty for her failures!.
Monica:Oh!.So you think I'm a failure!.
Phoebe:Isn't he good?.
Ross:No-no-no that-that's not what I was saying.
Monica:Y'know all these years I thought you were on my side.But maybe what you were doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad so they'd keep liking you better!.
Ross:Hey I married a lesbian to make you look good!.
Roger:And as for you Nicolina you are grieving someone perhaps it's caused you to be more introverted or stress cook when reminded of them?.Perhaps have nightmares.
Nico:Howd you know?.
Roger:I have a patient going thru the same thing.
*Time Lapse*
Rachel:"In tears".You're right!.I mean you're right!.It wasn't just the Weebles but it was the Weeble Play Palace and-and the Weebles Cruise Ship.Oh which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in.
Roger:That's tough.Tough stuff.C'mon Pheebs we're gonna catch that movie we gotta get going.
Phoebe:Oh okay.Feel better Rachel kay?.
Roger:Geez we're gonna be late sweetie.
Phoebe:Oh okay.Listen thanks for everything Mon.
Monica:You're welcome.
Roger:Listen guys it was great seeing you again.Mon um easy on those cookies okay?. Remember they're just food they're not love.
Roger shuts the door and Ross and Monica fling cookies at it.
Monica:Hate that guy!."Throws another cookie".
Nico:I hate being called out.
Chandler:Nicolina you have been having nightmares?.
Joey:And haven't told us?.
Nico:It's been going on for 4 years it's nothing new.
*Time Lapse*
Me,Chandler and Joey are just leaving Monica and Rachel's.
Joey:Night you guys.
We notice that a woman is sitting by our door.
Chandler:Oh look it's the woman we ordered.
Nico:Hey.Can uh can we help you?.
???:Oh no thanks I'm just waiting for uh Joey Tribbiani.
Joey:I'm Joey Tribbiani.
???:Oh no not you big Joey.Oh my God you're so much cuter than your pictures!.
Joey stares at her.
???:I-I'm,I'm Ronni...Cheese Nip?.
Chandler:Uh Joey's having an embolism but I'd go for a Nip y'know.
Soon we are in the apartment and Me and Chandler are talking to Ronni.
Ronni:Now y'see most people when their pets pass on they want em sorta laid out like they're sleeping.But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose.Like chasing their tail."Demonstrates".Or uh jumping to catch a frisbee.
Chandler:Nico,Joey if I go first I wanna be looking for my keys.
Ronni:That's a good one!.
Joey's dad enters.
Senior:Hey Joe.
Joey:Dad Ronni's here.
Senior:Huh?.
Ronni:Hi.
Senior:Hey.Hello babe.Wh-what're-what're you doing here?.
Ronni:Oh uh well you left your good hair at my apartment I figured you'd need it tomorrow for your meeting."Hands him hair".
Senior:Thank you.Uh.
Chandler:So who's up for a big game of Kerplunk?.
Ronni:Look I uh I shouldn'ta come.I-I'd better get going I don't wanna miss the last train.
Senior:I don't want you taking that thing.
Ronni:Oh where'm I gonna stay here?.
Joey:Wo-ah-ho.
Senior:We'll go to a hotel.
Ronni:"Shrugs".We'll go to a hotel.
Joey:No you won't.
Ronni:No we won't.
Joey:If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff.I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.
Senior:You're gonna keep an eye on us?.
Joey:That's right mister and I don't care how old you are as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules.And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
Ronni:Wow.He's strict.
Joey:Now dad you'll be in my room Ronni uh you can stay in Chandler's room.
Ronni:Thanks.You're uh you're a good kid.
Chandler:C'mon, I'll show you to my room...That sounds so weird when it's not followed by no thanks it's late.
I chuckle and go to my bedroom and later that night I'm awaken by my bedroom door opening and I see Chandler holding a pillow and blanket.
Nico:What's wrong?.
Chandler:Joey keeps kicking cause he can't get comfortable to sleep wearing underwear and then he tried to snuggle up to me.
Nico:"Chuckles".
Chandler:Can i sleep in here?.
Nico:Yeah.
Chandler nods and throws a pillow to the floor.
Nico:What're you doing?.
Chandler:Going to bed.
Nico:Chan we are both adults so act like it.I have room in mine.
Chandler:Are you sure?.
Nico:"Sarcastically".No I just offered for no reason.Of course I'm sure.
Chandler smiles and hops into my bed.
Chandler:Goodnight.
Nico:Night.