Memories: Mistakes & Moments
They can make you smile.
They can make you laugh.
They can make you cry.
They can make your heart break.
Laughter turns to tears.
Breathing turns to sobs and gasps for air.
I don't want to forget.
But I don't want to remember.
***
So many mistakes.
So many times I felt like an idiot.
So many moments.
So many times I felt important and free.
So many things that are both mistakes and moments.
That at that point I felt embarrassed and yet now it makes me free.
Times where I once laughed and blushed; I now ponder over and feel like shît.
Sad that the moment is gone.
The change has happened.
It feels like a bit of a fûck up but I can't change what happened.
I can't change the past.
It just means that in the future it will be harder to open up.
Harder to trust.
Harder to make those mistakes and moments with someone else.
So forgive me 'person-I-have-not-met-yet'; I am trying to grow too.
Grow stronger and move forward whilst trying not to forget what happened.
Trying not to overthink and wonder 'what-if' about the past but remember the good and use it for the future.
I don't want to forget.
But I don't want to remember.