(Happy pride month! I support each and every one of you unless you're a bitch. Just kidding, I am too.)
(This is like an assasin AU but not really. You're just in a place doing a mission yadda yadda.)
"Wow, this place is pathetic." You mumble, walking quickly down the dimly lit corridor. Your shoes clack against the marble floor, and you're too annoyed to care about the loud noise it's creating.
You look back and forth, glancing into the big rooms on either side of you. None of them were the one you were looking for. It was just making you more impatient.
"First I get pulled away from my team. Then I get paired with Sukuna out of all people on this mission." You sigh, crossing your arms in front of your chest and picking up your pace. "Then he wants to go do his own thing, and takes the map with the enemy's location on it. Fantastic, I'm ecstatic."
"Hey, hey~ You seem to be pretty riled up." You hear a voice say, and you turn to see a figure peeking out from behind one of the decorative pillars lining the hall. "That's going to distract you from your mission, don't you think? I could've killed you already."
"So nice of you that you didn't. Now come out and talk to me face to face, only cowards hide in the shadows."
"Name calling already? I thought we could be friends!" The person walks out from behind the pillar, arms spread out to the side in a shrug.
He's a tall man, a bit haunting, with dark hair and thin eyes that show nothing but mischief. He probably compensates his boring looks with a loud personality. He's that easy to read.
"My apologies, though I wouldn't say I'd be friends with someone like you. However, I'm not rude, please tell me your name." You say courteously, letting your arms drop to your sides and sliding a hand back to rest on the hilt of your dagger. He seemed the kind to talk, but you still wanted to be cautious.
"You don't need to know that, c'mon, and I know you don't really want to know either."
"Who knows? Maybe I'm here to join you."
"Now now, you're practically insulting my intelligence." He laughs, bending his hand to the side and giving a pointed look to the space over your shoulder. Before you can react, arms are reaching around you from behind and trapping you down. You look over your shoulder to view another man with an appearance just a plain as the first.
You turn your head back forward, wiggling your body to test the strength of the man. He was weak. Instead of immediately escaping, you decide to get more information.
"Hm," You start. "I'm not wrong to insult your intelligence. Attacking someone from behind? How sad."
The man in front of you scoffs, stepping forward to get closer to your face. "Should I be questioning your intelligence? I actually managed to capture you, unlike the man who came by here earlier."
Bingo.
"Really now. Mind telling me where he went?"
"Not that it matters, but I suppose it would hurt to tell you." He takes the tip of his finger, resting it on your chin and dragging the nail down to the bottom of your neck. It burned, and will probably leave a mark. "He went farther down the hallway, and escaped up the stairs to the right. I could keep using your body as a map, unless you want to try fighting back."
You deadpan, raising an eyebrow and smiling ruefully. "Oh I think I might."
Pushing back on your feet, you use the man behind you as a spring board to launch your legs up and wrap them around the neck of the man in front of you. After securing them, you twist your waist and let your body drop when you feel his neck crack under your thighs. He drops to the ground, gagging.
While he's distracted, you throw your head back to hit the chin of the man behind you, and when his arms loosen, you turn and knee him in the crotch, kicking his stomach before he can double over. As soon as he falls to the ground, you rush past the pair and toward the stairs they said Sukuna went up.
"God dammit." You groan, jogging up the steps. "That shit was gross. 'Using your body as a map', how fucking lame."
You reach the top of the steps, taking a deep breath and continuing down the new corridor, though it looked the same as the last one. Knowing Sukuna, he's probably going directly toward the target. That's what you're meant to do, but it's easy to get caught up in dealing with the minions. Sometimes they spill useful information though.
You meet a fork in the corridor and look both ways to try and choose which direction to continue down. When you swivel your head to the right, you see a receding figure holding a piece of paper in front of themselves. It's Sukuna. Finally.
"There you are!" You shout, storming up behind him and grabbing his shoulder. "Why the fuck did you just decide to split up and take the map with you? God I know you want me dead but that was just a low blow."
He rolls his eyes, pulling your hand from his shoulder. "It's not like I care. We're here for a mission, whatever happens to you doesn't mean jack shit- What is that?"
"What?" You look over your shoulder.
"Not behind you, idiot, on your neck."
You see where his eyes are pointing, and you make a sound of realization. "Oh it's nothing. Let's just go, we're staying together this time. Even if neither of us want it."
"Shut the fuck up." He grabs your arm when you try to walk past. "Tell me what happened."
"Sukuna, give it a rest."
"Did they do that? Did the two men down there hurt you?"
"Yes? We fought, of course I'm going to get injured. Why do you suddenly care?"
He rolls his eyes. "I don't. I thought I'd applaud them."
"Fucker. It was weird anyway, not even painful."
"Weird?" Sukuna smiles. "That's a new one."
You start walking, a step ahead of him so that you could let the exhaustion show on your face. He continues to pester you about the "injury" as you stroll, asking a bunch of unnecessary questions about what the man did exactly.
"Can you give it a rest?" You finally say, after your ears were about to bleed from the amount of bullshit coming out of your comrades mouth. "All he did was get all close and personal and scratch his nail down my throat. Stop making it into a big deal."
"Ah, it's not a big deal. I just can't help but get annoyed when other people touch you like that."
"Psh. And why is that?"
"Because you're mine to tease and make fun of. When other people do it it's just annoying."
You stop in your tracks, looking back at him and watching him walk past you with confusion on your features.
"Why do you have the right to say that?" You ask, trailing after him and following him up another set of stairs.
He doesn't answer, instead keeping his head down to stare intently at the map. Usually you let it slide, but you felt like being a provocative bitch today.
"Are you ignoring me now~ It would be cute if it was paired with a better face. I don't know how you think you can make someone swoon when you look like that."
He snaps his head up. "You're lying straight through your teeth right now, brat."
"Oh absolutely, it's crazy that you can understand me so well. In fact, you're just so understanding in general. You and your murderous intent. I lie awake at night thinking about just how kind you are."
That's when he breaks, taking a step down to stand in front of you and pushing you back against the railing. "Be quiet already. No wonder you got attacked with how much you talk."
"Damn, and here I was, preaching about your perfection-"
Before you can continue, his hand is gripping the back of your head and pushing your face forward so that your lips land on his. You let out a noise of suprise, and balance yourself with your hands on his shoulders. When he pulls away, all you can do is stare at him dumbfounded.
"So now you're fucking silent." He grumbles, sliding a hand through his hair. "Keep it that way."
"Nah I don't think I will."
"Do you want me to throw you down these stairs?"
"Yes."
He stares at you. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Were you dropped on your head as a child?"
"Probably."
"Whatever. We have a mission to focus on, you bitch."
Sukuna turns slightly to continue walking, but you talk again before he can get really far. "Nu-uh. I can't focus if you don't kiss me again."
"What."
"I can't hear you. In fact, I can't hear anything." You exaggerate, faking a panicked expression. "Oh no, my sight is going out now."
"I'm so close to killing you."
"Please do. Take me out of my misery."
Finally, he gives in and pulls your jaw toward his face. You smile when his lips meet yours, even though they're stiff with discontent, it's still nice. Pretty much your whole crew wonders why you're fucking even though you literally want to rip eachothers eyes out at every given moment.
This time when he pulls away, you let him turn and continue up the steps, you following right behind. That's when you come up with a plan. One that might finally completely shatter his sanity. With a smile, you close in behind him and put your lips near his ear.
"Y'know, you're still a pretty bad kisser. But don't worry, I'm sure you'll get better with some help."
He pauses, and when he makes eye contact with you, you take that as your sign to run.
"You little snot, get the fuck back here!" He yells, running after you with a scowl.
All you do is laugh, picking up your pace out of genuine fear. Yeah you poked the bear constantly, but you didn't actually want him to kill you. You know he would.
The mission at hand was practically forgotten, and you'd definitely get reprimanded for that, but to be honest you both have never really cared. You only take missions to shoot the shit and rile eachother up, though you both deny it.
Mutual hatred doesn't usually bring two people together, but you aren't really normal people, are you?
(This was messy as fuck but so is my sanity. I like vanilla milkshakes, no cherry though.)