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❛ ᴏᴄᴇᴀɴ ᴇʏᴇꜱ. ❜ ° . ༄
- ͙۪۪˚ ▎❛ 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄 ❜ ▎˚ ͙۪۪̥◌
»»————- ꒰ ᴡᴇʟʟ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ
ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇɴ . . . ꒱
❝ SOME HEARTS UNDERSTAND
EACH OTHER EVEN IN SILENCE ❞
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Juliet was spending more time alone than ever.
With Shawn MIA, Cory and Topanga becoming more serious about their wedding and her relationship with Angela still rocky, there weren't a lot of people she could hang out with. She had Kendrick and Rachel, of course, but even their weekly lunches weren't something that she looked forward to that much.
Their two-year age gap made any commonalities between them scarce. The older pair often talked about things that she couldn't relate to or hadn't experienced yet: teachers in upper-level classes, finding full-time jobs, friends who were having children or even discussions about future homes they wanted to own. She mostly spent the time listening to them talk as she pushed her food around on her plate while she wished she was somewhere else. Even though she was practically an adult, the conversations made her feel terribly naïve and childish which wasn't the best feeling in the world.
She could feel the circle of her life growing smaller from the many things she'd used to in elementary and high school to just two: schoolwork and practice. While she knew it wasn't necessarily healthy, finding other ways to spend her time just seemed like it would take too much. . . effort. She didn't even have her Walkman to make things better; she'd given it to her best friend in the hopes that it would help him (she certainly didn't regret her decision and wouldn't take it back even if he gave it to her.)
So, Juliet continued to pass quietly in and out of her friend's lives while they hardly seemed to notice her easygoing front. Perhaps if they hadn't been caught up in their own lives, they might have noticed that her smiles weren't as genuine as they used to be. Perhaps if she'd pushed a little harder to spend time with her best friend, someone might have paid attention to the way her cheerful expression faltered as soon as no one was looking at her. Maybe, if she had spoken up, her friends might have taken it upon themselves to help her like she had for them.
(None of those things happened.)
🌎🌎🌎
It was now late January and the cold wind brushed against her face as she walked alone down the main strip of campus. The bare branches of the trees stood out starkly against the gray sky whose clouds blocked the sun. Leftover snow from almost a week ago piled on either side of the pathway, tainted dirty and brown from soil. It was a bleak and bitter day like many were during Philadelphia winters but Juliet found it fitting as it matched her mood quite well.
One of her hands were stuffed in her coat pocket and the other was occupied by her Violin. Her backpack hung lightly from her shoulders as she had dropped her books off in her dorm before she'd made the trek across campus. Her red hair blew into her face and she batted it away with her mittened hand irately. There were hardly any students out (understandably, because the weather was terrible) except for a few dark figures in the distance. Only— "Shawn?"
He'd come up suddenly from the opposite direction with his own hands buried deep in the pockets of his leather jacket. She noticed with a faint smile that he was wearing the headphones of her Walkman, meaning it was attached to him somewhere. Her heart gave the familiar, insistent tug at the sight of him and she felt her stomach swoop as he took the time to pause the music and lower the headphones. "Julie? What are you doing out?"
"Oh— um," she hesitated, seeing as she hadn't told any of her friends about her new hobby. "Nothing much. What about you?"
"Taking a walk," he answered. "It's been awhile."
"Um, yeah." She wished she could sound more intelligent but all she could focus on was how intently his blue eyes were looking at her and the slight quirk of his lips and— well, never mind. She cleared her throat. "Anything new?"
"My dad's back in town," the dark-haired boy told her, though he didn't sound happy. "He says he's gonna stay but we both know how that's going to turn out. I had to get away from him and Jack."
"Oh. Erm— I'm sorry?" It came out as more of a question.
"Thanks," Shawn said wryly. "Anything new with you?"
She hated this.
She hated how they were acting like strangers, as if they'd never spent the best year of their lives together let alone their entire childhood. She hated how they were reduced to pleasantries and awkwardness even though they could both feel the pull to be together. But most of all, she hated how much she missed him because it would be so much easier if she had no feelings for him at all and they really were strangers. (But then again, who would she be without him?)
"Not really. Um, see you around?"
"Yeah. Yeah, definitely." They began to continue past each other, only for him to stop and call after her: "hey, Julie?"
She turned around, hating the hope that built up in her chest. "Yeah?"
Shawn tried to keep his tone nonchalant. "Are-are you still seeing that Kendrick guy? Not that I care, obviously," he added.
"Oh," the redhead said again. "Um, no. It didn't work out." After all, he never knew that the date was a sham.
His expression softened. "I'm sorry."
She shrugged. "'S alright. I wasn't expecting it to." Even if it had been real, he wasn't you.
He looked like he wanted to ask something else (and even went so far as to open his mouth to speak) but in the end he just offered her a faint smile and a nod before he placed the headphones back on his ears. Juliet watched him go longingly, wishing she had the courage to put their relationship back on track. They were older now, though, and she wasn't him— she couldn't chase after him like he had her during middle school.
(Sometimes people had to grow father apart before they were brought closer together.)
🌎🌎🌎
Juliet had— for once— been in her dorm when they got the news. Cory and Topanga were practicing their vows and Angela was "subtly" eavesdropping on them. The phone rang out in the hall and the curly-haired boy went to get it, only to return wearing an uncharacteristically somber look on his face. Her heart ached for her best friend as she recalled the angry expression he'd worn when he told her about his father. They rushed to the hospital as fast as they could.
They found him asleep out in the waiting room and Cory woke him gently. He greeted them tiredly as he woke: "hey, guys. I was just. . . resting my eyes."
"How's Chet?" Topanga questioned him, her voice full of concern.
"Well, the doctor says that he might need bypass surgery."
"Is it okay if we go in and see him?" Angela asked.
"Yeah. Yeah, he'd like that."
As she made to follow the girls into the room, Juliet felt a hand reach for her wrist. She twisted around to meet the boy's gaze and before she could stop herself, she threw her arms around him. Even though it should have been awkward, it was anything but as he hugged her back. She could feel him bury his face against her shoulder as his head bent slightly to accommodate their height difference. She could hear the quiet, shaky breath he released as his arms tightened around her to pull her close. He reluctantly released her after several long moments but their contact was prolonged as her hand ran down his arm to catch his fingers.
The redhead gave him a sympathetic look before she followed Topanga and Angela into Chet's room. When she opened the door, she was shocked to see him lying on the bed even though she'd been expecting it. For as long as she'd known him, he'd always been full of life and energy with a personality big enough to fill up a room. When he had been in town, he'd almost been the father she'd never had and he always made sure that she wasn't alone for meals or holidays when her mother worked long hours. To see him lying so still threw her for a loop.
"Hi, Chet."
His expression brightened. "Shawnie's wife! I knew you were gonna show."
Juliet chuckled lightly. "Of course. When are you planning on breaking out of this prison?"
She received a raspy laugh for her words. "I have to say, my sons have a good taste in women. It's no surprise that Hunters go for redheads with all that spunk."
There was a heartbeat of uncomfortable silence while Angela shifted uneasily near the door before the redhead cleared her throat. "How are you, really?" she asked sincerely.
"I'll be out of here in no time. Don't you worry, Shawnie's wife. But, uh, before you go, can we have a word?"
"Oh. Um, of course," Juliet agreed and the other two girls exited the room. She pulled up a chair next to the bed and offered her hand to him. His grip was weaker than she remembered and her heart gave another painful thump at his state.
"Well, you know my history as well as Shawnie does. Not much of a father, in and out too many times. I've never been a good influence on him."
"But—" she started to protest.
"But you have. You've been there for him every time he's needed you and even when he didn't think he did. I've watched you two grow up together and he looks at you how I look at my Virna— at least, whenever she's in the room and God knows that's not often. He needs good people in his life like you and the Matthews. I want you to promise me that you'll keep looking out for him, Juliet."
The redhead stared at him in surprise. She hadn't been sure that Chet even knew her name since he'd never used it the entire time he'd known her. It just went to show how serious he was being right now.
"Of course," she promised him earnestly. "I always will."
"Good girl," the man replied as he squeezed her hand. "He needs a good woman like you. When the time is right and it will be— I bet money on it and you don't want to make me lose, do you?— When the time is right, you'll marry him won't you? I gave him that thick skull of his so you're the one who's gonna have to do the askin', understand?"
"Chet—" she began, uncertain of how to tell him that they'd broken up. At his confident, slightly pleading expression, she sighed. "I will."
"No missy, it's I do. Remember that now."
"Right," Juliet said as she smiled faintly. "I'll let you get back to resting. I expect you to be at that wedding, you know. Whenever it happens."
"I'd place money on that too, Shawnie's wife."
🌎🌎🌎
Things took a turn for the worse when Shawn and Jack went back inside to talk to their father. They called for a doctor and left him with the staff while they waited anxiously with their friends. Shawn kept looking towards the door. "He's been in there a long time."
Morgan walked over to them. "Guys, I really hope your dad's gonna be okay."
"Yeah, so do I," Jack murmured.
"Chet is a fighter, boys. And besides, he owes me a game of pool," Mr. Feeny said.
The dark-haired boy noticed the wrapped package in his brother's hands. "Hey, are you gonna open your present?"
The older boy did as he'd suggested to reveal a photo that had been taken the day before of the three of them. He stared at it for a moment. "Well, that's something I don't have."
A doctor appeared shortly after that, prompting the brothers to stand and hurry over to him with hopeful looks on their faces. The man gazed back at them solemnly. "We lost him. His heart wasn't strong enough. I'm sorry, kids. I'm sorry."
🌎🌎🌎
After the news had been shared with the rest of the group, Juliet wasn't surprised to see Shawn go off by himself. She glanced momentarily at Jack, who was surrounded by the Matthews, Topanga and Angela before she made her decision: she followed him. (She always had.)
She found him in a quiet hallway sitting on the floor with his knees pulled up to his chest. Without hesitation, she sank down next to him, so close that their shoulders were pressed together and their knees were touching. She said nothing as she reached over and gently took his hand in hers, intertwining their fingers to give him a comforting squeeze. Shawn leaned his head against her shoulder and closed his eyes, reassured by her presence.
(After all, it had always been them against the world.)
[written oct. 2021]
[edited jun. 2022]