MASON's POV
I am a fucking moron.
I just hurt my own sister.
Why the hell can't I for once shut out my anger and handle the situation reasonably.
My anger had always been a problem for me since the last few years, but earlier no matter how much my anger and outbursts ended up hurting anyway, it didn't bother me as much as it did today and I know that this time I fucked up pretty badly.
For fucks sake, I could practically hear the shattering of my heart breaking into tiny shards when I saw the devastating and scared look on my baby sister's face.
My mind kept replaying the images of my Bella looking so damn terrified, and the reason for her fear was nobody else but me.
I scared her—
My own sister.
She was scared of her own family, of me—
I am not going to lie, she test me so fucking much, she has managed to get on my nerves every single time with her back talking but it also made me happy, knowing that my sister was capable to deal with my shit.
And she doesn't take crap from anyone, it was a fucking relief—
As an older brother I was supposed to protect her and make her feel safe and I did the most terrible job doing just that.
Although it wouldn't be the first time that I failed as a brother, I'm the worst brother– a horrible person.
The voices in my head kept yelling at me, blaming me for my sister's tears, her fear, her sobs, her pain and no matter how much I wanted them to silence, I still couldn't bring the courage to ask them to stop because I knew deep down that they were right.
She did not deserve any of this, fuck she doesn't even deserve me as her brother, hell no one does because I'm a mess and it's not fair for anyone to have to deal with me and my problems.
I messed up by thinking that if I created enough distance between us, I wouldn't end up hurting her but obviously everything in my life had to go against me.
I've been harbouring a feeling of resentment since the incident that happened four years ago, and since then the hate that I feel for myself has only grown larger and larger leaving me broken and all alone.
Every time I hurt my sister from the garbage that I couldn't hold myself from speaking out, the weight on my soul grows heavier and now it feels like I might not be able to bear the pain of it for much longer.
Not once had I intended to hurt or scare her from my words, all I ever wanted was to create a distance between us and truth be told I wanted her to despise me so that I could start to hate myself a little less knowing that I have someone else to do it for me.
But at the same time, my heart hurts and anguishes with the prospect of my only baby sister disliking me.
I'm not sure if I could actually handle her hatred, but I just thought that hating me would be so much easier for everyone, and it would most likely turn out good for her, because at least she won't get hurt because of me.
Her words were like a knife to all of us.
Dad looked as if someone stabbed his heart and clawed it right out and I know that all of us brothers didn't feel anything different, hearing how she grew up to how she thought we abandoned her.
But what felt like salt on the bloody gashes on our heart was when she told a glimpse of what she had been through.
All those years when we lived a grand life in a fucking mansion, my sister was out there getting abused, living a life in hell and fighting everday to survive.
But she kept fighting and even though I'm not sure what exactly happened to her, I know that her fighting for everything made her so cold and distant from everyone.
She was only a child when she felt the weight of the world on her shoulders, she had to carry it all alone and I wasn't there to help her.
Never have I ever seen someone look so broken, so lost. Her beautiful eyes looked so lifeless, even if she wasn't dead.
And that was the most terrifying and painful thing I saw.
I don't really remember much but from what I've heard, our birthgiver wasn't exactly the mother of the year and most likely wasn't even a part of our lives even when she still lived with us.
But it never occurred to me that if she wasn't a good mother to any of us, then it's possible that she might not have been a good one for Arabella, and the thought of my sister going through a terrible childhood scares me.
She had to read a book to treat her wounds at the age of ten. How can a mother allow her children to go through such a hell?
I Fucking hate Cora
And what the fuck did she mean when she said she'd lost her innocence?
The image of her in the mall kept replaying in my head, and I'm starting to understand what she meant, but I don't want to believe it.
No, I don't want to believe my sister was.... NO
I just couldn't contain my anger back when she almost cowered away from dad, from all of us, it was as if she was expecting us to hit her.
And it was all too familiar to me which caused me to see anything but red— I was filled with rage and anger.
I was fucking convinced that someone had hurt her because I have seen the exact same behaviour on Him before.
And she also confirmed it later.
The thought of my sister being hurt or going through anything similar to what He had gone through, instilled rage inside of me.
I couldn't save Him at the time, and now all I could think was how I had failed my sister and couldn't save her either.
But instead of being helpful in the situation, I let my anger get the best of me, and that's the reason why she would be better off hating me.
I didn't want to say anything hurtful, but at that time all I could think about was how she was hurting everyone and she couldn't care less about any of them.
She has only given a cold shoulder to every single person since she had arrived. She even blamed us for everything that happened to her at the mall.
Gosh, I could tell how much Kyson was blaming himself, but how could it be his fault when he was held hostage with a gun pressed against him.
And her harsh tone tipped me off when she said she didn't want any help from us. Her words were causing me so much hurt that I couldn't stop myself.
I had no idea about what she had been through, and if I had, I would never have said anything hurtful to her.
I called her an ungrateful and ignorant bitch.
I'm a dumb fucking ass.
It's not just my anger, I as a person am a fucking flaw, a mistake that should never have been born because all I seem to do is hurt the people around me.
Even though I didn't show it at all, I still love her.
The moment I saw her innocent yet somewhat lifeless face, I knew I loved her.
I just assumed that the photo was taken at the station and the reason she was sad was because her mother and stepfather just died, but now it's now coming to me that the pain in her eyes conceals a lot more than what she makes visible to anyone.
But at the same time I couldn't have allowed her to get close to me. Everyone who gets close to me will get hurt the same way as Him.
He was the closest to me, and He got hurt due to me and I still couldn't forgive myself from what happened to him and everyday I wished it had been me instead of him.
I can't let my baby sister go through the same hell as him because I could never live with that.
But what I didn't realise was that I was the one who was making her life a living hell. My words had left her broken and hurt, and all I wanted to do was punch myself in the face for the rest of eternity.
And a fucking apology wouldn't fix anything that I had done to hurt her.
I don't even deserve her forgiveness—
I have never taken pride in my anger, in fact, it's a fucking curse. After that incident I was never able to control my anger and once I gave into my rage I was never able to pull myself back.
I've had my family injecting me unconscious numerous times when my anger gets the best of me, and I've also been taking pills to calm my anger which only succeeds in making me feel numb but also irritated, hence making me a fucking asshole.
What surprised me the most was the effect that my sister had on my anger.
Since she moved in with us, my rage hasn't lasted long, and even when it does, I've been able to calm myself down before my rage takes over.
Maybe it's because I'm afraid of my baby sister seeing that side of me, which has thankfully remained suppressed.
What she had witnessed was only a fraction of how bad my anger can be.
I remember seeing the video of those assholes holding my sister hostage in the mall, and all I wanted was blood.
Nobody touches my sister and gets away.
I would have killed them there but I needed to make sure my sister was alright. The way she reacted when I held her hand had been engraved in my mind ever since.
And it's motherfucking torturous—
The mere possibility that she might have been assaulted was enough to bring tears in my eyes, the rage I was feeling for those assholes was instantly replaced by fright, my anger was quickly dissolved, a lot quicker than I'd ever managed to pacify my rage, when I was ready to kill.
Heck, it was a surprise for almost everyone in the family.
Those mother fuckers are going to pay for what they did to my sister, they harmed our princess, heck she is literally the most important person in the family, the mafia princess of two major Mafia's, and there was no way anyone could have gotten away with even bad mouthing her let alone someone physically hurting her.
Trust me, the only reason I'm still alive is because I was born into this family and even when Arabella came into our lives, just now, her position is above everyone else.
Of course she is second, just below the Mafia queens of the family aka my grandmother and my aunties, a position that will be passed down to both the current don's wives when they marry into this family.
Anyways while we were trying to calm Arabella down, our men led those assholes to one of our warehouses. They did rough them up a little, but we are all still going to have our fun with them.
Right now, I was standing frozen and gaping at where my sister went, while my hand is still where it was when I pulled back from her arm, that was injured.
Max and Noah had right away ran after her while the others were still looking just as stunned as I was.
I was about to run off after them, when I was forcefully yanked back by arm.
It was Kyson who was glaring at me with his mouth clenched angrily,
"Listen to me, and listen to me good, Stop fucking treating her like shit, or help me god the next time it would be my fist talking to your face." He spoke slowly, yet his every word was enunciated with rage and a lingering promise.
My eyes widened in surprise, and it was not because of the threat, but because Kyson spoke out loud, and by the looks of it the rest of the people were equally shocked.
Kyson is the one who's the most comfortable with being in silence. He never says much, it's usually just a nod of his head or sometimes a verbal 'yes' or 'no' if we are lucky, but that's that.
He rarely ever talks to me let alone anyone in the family. And when he does, it's usually brief and concise.
We've all tried to pressure and force him to talk to us more but it never worked, but it's like he had found a harbour in the silence.
And ever since Arabella came here, I've seen him talking to her and all it was voluntary, which makes me extremely grateful because I certainly believe that she could help Kyson to get out of his shell.
I have even seen him smiling more often lately.
He had only ever talked to me and that to only one-word or two-word answers. The only form to shower comfort was his presence because he isn't much of a talker.
And now he was full on threatening me for what I had done to our sister, which I knew I deserved.
After glaring at me a little more, he ran away after Ara.
He didn't spare me another glance. I knew he was angry but I was also aware that his priority right now was Arabella's safety.
I was about to follow them, but stopped when dad called me, his tone was anything but polite.
And I knew I was done for–
My eyes looked at four people in front of me. All of them looking angry as fuck.
Fuck I really need learn how to keep my mouth shut.
Elijah looked like he didn't want to be here, but still stayed rooted most probably to protect me, just in case all the three hot-heads decided to kill me for what I did to Ara, that didn't mean he wasn't mad.
He looked extremely furious but at the same time so much in pain.
"What did I teach you about family?" Dad asked me, his tone unnervingly calm.
Not good—
I was scared, fuck no I was terrified. I knew one thing that dad treasured the most was his family.
"ANSWER ME." Dad yelled once he didn't get any reply from me.
"Family means everything and we'll always have each other's back no matter what, in good or bad, in right or wrong." I responded almost immediately.
This was the motto Dad engraved in our minds ever since we were kids.
And now I've insulted his family.
I betrayed our family because, in such a short period of time, Arabella has become as much a member of our family as any of us.
A traitorous tear rolled down my eyes, which I quickly wiped off, hoping nobody noticed but who am I kidding. Dad saw it along with the rest of my brothers who stayed behind.
"Tell me why you said what you said. I can tell you love your sister because I see it in your eyes. When you found out someone had hurt her at the mall, you were enraged more than anyone else, and you always keep an eye out for her when she isn't looking. You wouldn't even let Noah or anyone else eat until Arabella arrived. You'd been on your feet for hours looking for her. I know you're worried about her and want to know what's going on, but you damn well know what happens when you force someone to speak. Then explain to me, why the fuck did you choose to force her, hurt her, even call her a bitch?" Dad asked, waiting for me to explain and by the look on his face, he already knew the answer.
Why bother then—
I inwardly sigh before replying.
"She'll get hurt just like HE did." I whispered as I swallowed the lump that started to form in my throat.
"I couldn't protect HIM dad. HE got hurt because of me. If Bella got close to me she'd get hurt too. I could never let that happen." I continued as I finally made eye contact with him.
"Didn't you notice how she almost cowered away in fear? HE used to do the same. I was certain that someone had hurt her. And all I could do now is blame myself for not protecting her back then. Did you not hear what she said? We failed to protect her. I failed to protect her. I know what I said was wrong but I can't help myself dad, the only emotion I know is anger and that's how I express myself. I think I need help dad." I said with desperation seeping my voice, I just couldn't have her scared of me anymore.
I need some fucking help—
By now the tears were flowing uncontrollably as my fist clenched in frustration of how weak I felt at that moment.
Elijah stepped forward and quickly pulled me into a hug. This idiot could never stop hugging and at this moment I was glad to have his arms wrapped around me.
It made me feel that I wasn't alone.
I silently cried in his arms and it felt like it was a massive punch to my masculinity but I didn't give a fuck for once. I usually always hide my emotions except my rage of course but I needed to vent in a way that wasn't anger.
And I definitely needed that hug.
"Matthew is going to kill you" Elijah grumbled in my ear causing me to let out a small chuckle.
"I know." I whispered back.
Even though Matthew doesn't show it, he is definitely the most protective of Arabella after Dad or maybe even Alexander. If he could, he would have definitely killed me by now.
Thank the heavens that I'm his brother—
My eyes looked up to see cold yet torn expressions on Dad's face. He heaved a heavy sigh as he made his way towards me. He put one hand on my shoulder in a comforting gesture causing me to instantly look down in shame at my actions.
"What happened to HIM was not your fault. I failed HIM as I couldn't protect him and now I have failed Arabella. So I'm going to say it one last time, you had nothing to do with what happened to my daughter. I don't know what that bitch did to my child. I have noticed her flinching in response to sudden touch, loud noises, sometimes in pain. I don't think she knows but I noticed all of that, and I was going to talk to her about it, I was just waiting for her to settle down and then this happened. But what went down with her or HIM was not your fault. You need to forgive yourself before you could think of helping HIM." He said as I looked at him in shock yet grateful of the comfort of lies he was providing me, which felt real even though momentarily.
I was shocked to know that he was aware of how HE was still struggling, which HE and I tried to keep hidden by his request. I knew dad was observant but never knew to what extent until now.
"And next time you yell at my daughter, you might want to remember the position that she holds over you. She's the Mafia princess and you better start treating her like one." Dad said with finality in his voice as I nodded my head in return.
"I am really sorry dad." I mumbled in a small voice.
"I know son—" He said as he patted my arm.
"Matthew will give you whatever punishment he thinks you deserve." Alexander said with stoic expressions on his face but I could see the smirk that he was trying to mask.
I knew he was still mad at me, but I was somewhat glad that he didn't choose to punish me, which turned out to be short lived as my brain comprehended which brother was going to skin me alive.
"Can it be Elijah please—" I whispered desperately to dad who just gave me a smirk in return.
I am fucking doomed, just Great.
I looked at Matthew as he had an evil smirk plastered on his face, his eyes showed how angry he was. For fucks sake, he's going to have his fun.
Matthew is the craziest of us all and I had just dug my own grave.
All of a sudden everything went to the back of my mind while a feeling of terror built inside me as I heard loud shouts of yells from my brothers who had left after Arabella.
My frightened eyes met Dad's cold ones as we stared at the path that leads upstairs towards Arabella's room.
A faint shattering sound and loud bangings on the door were enough to snap us out of our shock as we all immediately dashed toward Bella's room, running as fast as the legs could take.
I hope she was safe.
✏️Word Count: 3611
•