— Chapter One —
It first happened when they were promoting with NCT 2020. The 90s love unit to be specific. That was the first time Donghyuck had noticed it, that weird something in the air. That day had been quite exhausting, Donghyuck already being tired in the changing room.
He was nervously chewing on his finger nails. A habit he had ridiculed Chenle for just a few months ago but now it was him using the action to calm his nerves.
It was crowded in the small room, the members getting their last touches of make-up done. Someone must have sensed Donghyuck's nervousness as that person wrapped their arm around his waist from behind.
"What's wrong, Donghyuck? We got this." that person said and Donghyuck immediately relaxed into the man's touch.
"I know, hyung. But my throat feels sore today." Donghyuck replied, turning his head to engulf the older in his arms.
"Don't worry, you can always lip-synch if you don't feel comfortable. Also you have grown so much, you're way taller than me now." the man said, patting Donghyuck's head.
"Maybe you're just small, Ten-hyung." Donghyuck teased and Ten nudged his side. Donghyuck winced and let go of the older who gave him a toothy smile. Indeed there used to be times when Ten was older than Donghyuck but these times were long over.
"NCT U, 90's Love. You guys are up in five minutes." one of the staff members announced. The room grew quiet and Donghyuck and Ten joined the rest of the members. They made a circle, Donghyuck squeezing himself between Sungchan and Yangyang who seemed both just as nervous as him. It wasn't their first performance, actually one of the last ones but the tension was still thick, everyone now becoming focused and quiet.
"You guys got this." Winwin said, taking his role as a leader seriously. Donghyuck cooed at him nonetheless, scrunching his nose when his eyes met Winwin's.
"Let's go!" Winwin shouted and they all cheered before making their way on stage. Donghyuck took a few dee breaths, checking his position before hearing the count in his ear piece. Three, two, one and start.
Donghyuck loved performing. It was his life, the way his body moved in fluid motions. He didn't even have to think about it, the muscle memory of hours and hours in the practice room did the work for him while he himself focused on his vocals.
The performance was over before Donghyuck knew it, his shallow breath and sweaty face being the only proof of the hard choreography he had just danced.
"Well done!" Winwin cheered, giving all the members a tired but bright smile. Donghyuck went over to hug him despite knowing Winwin wasn't really fond of skin-ship.
"Go hug Sungchan." the man told Donghyuck and the younger immediately did so, Sungchan welcoming him in his arms. Due to their height difference, Donghyuck's face was more buried in the crook of Sungchan's neck but the latter didn't seem to mind.
"You did well, hyung." Sungchan complimented him and Donghyuck laughed, reaching up to ruffle the taller man's hair.
"You too, you get better with each performance!" he returned the compliment. He then let go of Donghyuck, yawning as they had been up for quite a while now.
"Tired, hm?" a voice asked and Donghyuck turned around to see Mark standing in front of him. He smiled at his best friend and nodded. He noticed that Mark looked just as exhausted as him, both of them never getting any rest. They didn't mind, didn't know it any different than this.
"You're sweaty." Donghyuck pointed out and Mark wiped his forehead, giving Donghyuck a smile. The younger would've hugged Mark right now but they were both reeking of sweat and Donghyuck knew Mark would push him away anyway.
"I'll take a shower once we're at the dorms." Mark replied, looking down at his wet hand in disgust. Donghyuck did the same, wiping off the sweat of his forehead. Due to the many layers of clothing, it was incredibly hot and Donghyuck scooted closer to Mark to get a little bit of fresh air from his fan. Usually Mark would've stepped away but right now he didn't, sharing the hand-fan with Donghyuck.
The two stood together, not talking. That was until Sungchan called Donghyuck over. The latter left Mark with a pat on his shoulder and then walked to Sungchan who was waving with his phone.
"I want to look over the performance once again and I know you like to monitor yourself too." the taller said. Donghyuck smiled up at him, liking the way Sungchan had paid attention to his mannerisms. Sungchan offered his arm and Donghyuck sneaked under it, yes they were both sweaty but Sungchan didn't seem to care as well as he was very comfortable for Donghyuck to lean against.
With every time they did this, Donghyuck liked Sungchan more. The younger was just so comfortable and actually returned his affections unlike some certain people. Donghyuck almost automatically glanced over at Mark and that's when he noticed it for the first time. A distinct look of confusion in Mark's face.
Their eyes met briefly but Donghyuck had known Mark for long enough to be able to tell his emotions solely through his eyes. Those pretty doe eyes. Donghyuck had looked into them so many times, had watched them form from the eyes of a hopeful but scared sixteen year old to the eyes of a strong, talented but incredibly overworked twenty-one year old.
"Hyung?" Sungchan asked, waving with his phone in front of Donghyuck's eyes. Right, they wanted to watch the performance.
"Sorry. I was spacing out." Donghyuck apologised and shook his head, not glancing at Mark for a second time. It was probably just a coincidence that Mark had looked at him weirdly, the man needed glasses anyway.
After they finished, they changed out of his clothes. They were sticky and Donghyuck was happy to wear baggy sweatpants paired with one of Jeno's adidas shirts that looked big on him.
"You really need to buy your own damn clothes." Jeno noted upon realising it was his but Donghyuck only laughed dismissively. At this point they were brothers and the dorms were so chaotic since they were all booked and busy.
Sometimes Donghyuck would miss staying in his old dorm room with Johnny. The two had played so many games and Johnny would always pay whenever Donghyuck got hungry and ordered food.
However, being back with the Dreamies was just as fun. Especially now living with Shotaro and Sungchan, both of which Donghyuck found very adorable. He had grown particularly fond of Sungchan as the young man would hold up with all of Donghyuck's shenanigans, only adoring Donghyuck while the older was having his fun teasing the other members.
On top of that, Sungchan allowed for Donghyuck to touch him. And everyone knew how much Donghyuck thrived off giving and receiving affection. He used to tease Mark and Jeno with it, trying his best to steal kisses from them but both of them, especially Mark, had kept rejecting him so Donghyuck naturally gave up when he found new victims, mostly Johnny, Renjun and now Sungchan.
It happened to be that the latter sat next to Donghyuck in the car. Mark was squished on Donghyuck's other side but had his headphones in. Donghyuck could see the dark bags under Mark's eyes and he had to admit he was getting a bit worried for him.
He wanted to comfort Mark but didn't know how exactly. So he just petted Mark's thigh. The older pulled back and Donghyuck closed his eyes. Of course, Mark didn't like skin-ship. It was weird to Donghyuck as he himself always loved it but so it had always been. Donghyuck loving something and Mark hating it, as well as the other way around. And yet, they still managed to become best friends.
As if Mark had heard Donghyuck's slightly hurt thoughts he turned his head to him and said "Maybe I'll let you cuddle later, hm?"
"But hyung said we would hang out today." Sungchan said on Donghyuck's other side. It was true, Donghyuck had told the younger that they would play games together. He gave Mark an apologetic look to which Mark only responded with a calm look on his face. He didn't look hurt, neither upset and Donghyuck gave him the brightest smile before turning back to Sungchan. The tall man automatically intertwined their fingers, probably knowing by now how much Donghyuck liked it. Ever since they had been sharing a dorm, the two hung around together quite a lot.
Donghyuck felt happy, though exhausted. The cameras everywhere, on as well as off stage, the endless hours in the waiting room, the sasaengs in front of their dorm. It tired him out and yet he kept going. Because after all he loved being an idol. It was his destiny, he always though to himself and even though his hyungs would joke about him always watching his fancams, Donghyuck did it to monitor himself, to get better for the fans. The pressure was high, especially now as their NCT 2020 promotions were at their peak.
Not one day during the past two months he had rested. And it was obvious by the dark bags under his eyes, by the way his voice became raspy more easily, by the way he would fall asleep in the car within minutes.
Again Donghyuck glanced at Mark and he knew that the man had it even worse. Mark had been working relentlessly ever since he joined the company and unlike Donghyuck he even had to cater to a fan group outside of Nctzens due to him being in SuperM. This led them to not talk as much anymore. Sure, they would get together in the training rooms or sometimes Mark would stay over at their dorm but in the end, the two hadn't done something probably alone for ages.
Donghyuck missed it, he missed having Mark around and yet he also knew that Mark was doing better without him being all annoying. So instead Donghyuck had searched for others that would match his energy, would not mind the skin-ship, would not mind getting teased.
They arrived at the dorms quickly, maybe because Donghyuck wasn't paying any attention to the road or maybe because had managed to get Donghyuck's mind off of things. Either way, Donghyuck was glad when they arrived at the big building in which the members lived on separate floors. Only WayV lived in another building, having to move due to sasaengs. Donghyuck and briefly talked about it with Yangyang, the latter expressing his frustration with the constant eyes on him.
For Donghyuck himself it was more of a subtle but painful nudge into his side whenever he saw the young girls with their big cameras running up to them in between their schedules. He had been an idol for long enough to be able to completely ignore them but the feeling of being watched stayed. It didn't leave, ever. Not when Donghyuck was playing games with Johnny or Sungchan, not when he was taking a shower, not when he was watching a movie with Renjun.
This was probably another reason why dark eye bags had now become the norm in their dorms. On top of their many promotions, they had to deal with those weird stalkers and as well as the corona pandemic which was still infecting idols and staff every day.
Luckily, nobody in NCT nor any staff around them had caught it yet but Donghyuck almost felt as if it was only a matter of time.
Due to this, he cleaned his hands once they had entered the dorm. Jeno immediately retreated to their rooms. Renjun hung out in the kitchen and Shotaro and Sungchan were sitting on the couch, conversing in japanese as the younger of the two was eager to learn.
Donghyuck walked over to Renjun, giving him a smug smile as a warning before stealing a few bits of his cut cucumber.
"Damn it!" Renjun called out, almost in a whiny voice and Donghyuck laughed at him. The way Renjun was standing, hands into fists and with furrowed eyebrows, he just looked adorable.
"Ask next time!" Renjun scolded him and Donghyuck nodded before stealing another piece. Renjun seemed to have run out of energy as he just sat back down and let Donghyuck do whatever. The latter ruffled Renjun's hair and said "I'll be in my room." before finally leaving the community space.
In his own room then, Donghyuck wiped off his make-up which he had still been wearing. His skin was a little irritated due to the stress but otherwise he looked fine. He did notice however as he was checking out his face that he had lost some weight. It was completely normal and natural, just from the overworking and the ongoing promotions.
Donghyuck hoped to lose just a little more so his muscles would be more visible. He would never reach Jeno's, Jaemin's or even Mark's level and that was okay but he did want to stay at least healthy.
He knew he wasn't the only one losing weight, they all were. Especially Jaehyun though as he was working on his drama next to the NCT 2020 promotions with the units.
Donghyuck sat down on his bed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. An upside to having moved to the Dreamies' dorm was that he had a room or his own just like Jeno and Jaemin. However those two would soon switch rooms with Renjun and Jisung as the last two had been roommates for over a year now. Shotaro and Sungchan would remain sharing a room and Donghyuck would keep his to himself, simply because the managers said that he could not afford losing any sleep over a noisy roommate. Donghyuck had been amused by that explanation; however it seemed to have worried his members, especially Mark.
It was funny how Mark had been so concerned when he heard that Donghyuck was lacking sleep or a sleeping schedule because Mark himself didn't have one either. It was a fate they shared and often bonded over. Many midnight conversations they had spent talking about their lives as idols and how different it would have been had neither of them joined SM.
"But I'm still grateful because due to that I met you." Donghyuck had told Mark during one of those conversations and Mark had given him a very bright and toothy smile, one of those that made him look so very good, especially in the dimmed light of Donghyuck's and Johnny's shared room back then.
Speaking of Mark, when Donghyuck checked his phone and saw a notification from the older pop up. It caused Donghyuck to frown, Mark should be using his time to sleep and not to text Donghyuck.
He opened the message and immediately raised his eyebrows as his eyes read "Are you mad at me?"
Donghyuck immediately responded with "No. Why would I be?" He waited for Mark's answer which lit up his screen just a few seconds later.
"Forget about it." the message read and Donghyuck shrugged. Sometimes Mark would overthink things so all it needed was for Donghyuck to assure him that they were still friends despite their little banters which had lessened recently. They had both grown out of that phase of fighting every few days but sometimes they would still argue over the most little things and because Donghyuck got sulky easily, it was always Mark who asked if they were still okay. And because it was Mark and he was Donghyuck's best friend, the younger would always reply "Of course, we're still friends, Markie."
And then he would wait for the inevitable "That's hyung to you." which he always ignored. Mark had tried, Donghyuck gave him that, the man had desperately tried to hold onto the honourifics but after years he had finally given up and by now responded to the most ridiculous nicknames Donghyuck gave him.
Donghyuck checked his phone again but Mark hadn't texted again. It was only seven but Donghyuck already felt his eyelids become heavy. Originally he had wanted to play games with Yangyang and Jeno however it was probably best if he went to sleep now.
He texted the two that he would not be joining their gaming session and they didn't seem mad whatsoever. Instead Yangyang only encouraged Donghyuck, he had probably seen how tired Donghyuck was while in the waiting room.
And so Donghyuck shut off his lights, put on some relaxing music and let his head fall into the pillow. His shirt still smelled like Jeno's cologne which Donghyuck thought smelled nice. Jeno's perfume was probably Donghyuck's second favourite, shortly after Mark's. And Mark held the number one spot solely because he had been buying the same perfume ever since they had just debuted and therefore Mark smelled so very familiar to Donghyuck, almost like home.
And with that deduction in mind, Donghyuck's lips curved into a small smile as he no longer resisted his body's calls to sleep. The darkness engulfed his mind, like a friend which he hadn't seen in quite a while. Which was closer to the truth than Donghyuck would like to admit.
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it'll get more interesting, i promise! first chapters are always the hardest for me