4x17 ~ GUILTY PLEASURES ~
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The past two weeks had been quite difficult on Lexi since Sara had passed away. Sam had been there whenever she needed, in fact, he lived with her now. She still lived in her house, and planned to until graduation. The New Directions had tried their best to support her while she grieved. And all of them could confirm that her grief was quite tangible. Although, no one grieves in two weeks. It was going to be a heavy healing process.
Lexi sighed, as she sat herself down at the piano, and opened the lid. Brushing off some of the dust that had collected, she prepared to play. However, when she went to play, she couldn't. Maybe it was because she used to play for her mom all the time.
"You okay, Lex?" She heard someone ask, they entered the room.
"Not great." She answered, turning to see who it was. It was Sara. She seemed so real, even though she wasn't there.
"I miss hearing you sing." Sara smiled, sitting down beside her.
"I haven't been able to sing, or play any music since you passed away two weeks ago." Lexi admitted, as she looked down at the keys.
"I know that I may be gone, but like I've said before, you have to face your fears." Sara replied, as she ran her hands along the keys. "Returning to your hobbies after I've passed may seem foolish, but it isn't. It's a fear. A fear which you have to face. You won't get anywhere in your comfort zone."
"So you're saying that I shouldn't continue to take it slow or grieve your death?" Lexi frowned.
"No." Sara chuckled. "Grieving is a valid emotion after a passing of a loved one. But what I'm trying to converse is that you have a fear of playing music, and singing again, because you're afraid."
"I'm afraid it won't be any good anymore." Lexi confessed, as she rested her hands on the keys again.
"You were always talented at everything you did, even if it took you months. You've faced adversities before, and you've tackled your fears. You can play music again."
"It'll take me some time, but I'm going to do it for you." Lexi smiled sadly.
"You know, I remember teaching the piano when you were four. You were so eager to learn. You placed your little fingers on the keys, determined to get a song down by the end of the day." Sara laughed softly, as Lexi watched her reminisce the memory. "And low and behold, by the end of the day, you'd accomplished some scales, and a simple song."
"I remember, it was Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." Lexi laughed, as she swore she could picture her four year old hard at work on the piano.
"Yes, and by the age of five, you were already playing showtunes...do you remember which show tune you mastered first?"
Lexi raised her eyebrow, as she racked her brain for the song. Suddenly, it came to her, causing her to smile.
"I do. I played Thank You for the Music from Mamma Mia!"
"That's right, and you would sing it to me every night, until you reached the age of seven, when you also took on guitar, and ukulele. You became quite the talented musician and singer. You were even writing original songs by the age of ten. I was so overly proud of you, and I still am." Sara smiled.
"Thank you." Lexi nodded gratefully, moving to hug her mom, and stopping when she realized Sara wasn't really there.
"You need music, and it needs you. Think about it." Sara winked.
"Lexi! Earth to Lexi!"
"Huh?" Lexi snapped out of her trance to see Kurt sitting by the table. "Hey, what are you doing here?" She asked, getting up to pull him into a hug.
"I'm here to check in on you." Kurt replied, sending her a sympathetic expression. "I'm so sorry to hear about your mom."
"You know, it's okay...but at the same time, it isn't." Lexi sighed, as they pulled away.
"How have you been feeling?" Kurt asked, as they sat down at the table.
"Honestly, I don't really know." Lexi shrugged, as tears clouded her eyes again, for what felt like the hundredth time. "I always feel cried out, and then, I start crying again." She chuckled sadly, wiping her tears. "Like now, for example. The pain is tangible, and I really don't want to know what the next year will be like without her presence, love, and her endless support. Sure, I-I've always been independent, and intelligent, but she was my support system, my rock, especially before Sam, and you guys in Glee Club came along." She paused, willing herself not to cry loudly. "I guess, what I'm saying is that facing the world in the next few months seems frightening. It's seems like this unknown path I'm on, with no clue what's coming or unfolding. The thought that anything could happen seems irrelevant, but I'm sucking my fears up, and going back out there again."
"You're allowed to feel frightened, and to cry whenever you need to. All of that is valid in this time of grief." Kurt assured her, grabbing Lexi's hand in his, squeezing it comfortingly. "We're all going to be here as long as you need."
"Thank you." Lexi whispered.
"Now, why don't we turn on your guilty pleasure musical movie? I'll make popcorn, and we can sit on the couch, and watch the movie, or even sing alone. Does that sound good?"
"That sounds great." Lexi smiled gratefully.
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"Hey you." Sam smiled softly, as Lexi walked towards him at his locker.
"Hey." She replied, wrapping her arms around him, and leaning her head against his shoulder. She was in need of the comfort.
"I haven't seen you since yesterday morning." He said, properly pulling her into a comforting hug.
"I skipped school yesterday, and Kurt came for a movie night." Lexi explained. "But I missed you last night."
"I actually came home late from work, but I was the one who tucked you into bed, because you were fast asleep on the couch." Sam smiled, softly.
"You did?" Lexi asked, a weak smile growing on her face. "I love you." She said, looking up at him.
"I love you too." Sam replied, leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to her lips. Once they pulled away, they turned to see Blaine approaching them.
"Here." He said with a smile, handing Sam a fifty bucks. "Don't tell anyone and you don't have to thank me." He added, causing both Sam and Lexi to frown.
"Dude, what are you doing?" Sam asked, immediately handing the money back to him.
"It's only fifty bucks, take the money." Blaine insisted. "I know what you're up to and it has to stop."
"Uh, Blaine, what the heck are you talking about?" Lexi asked, as she allowed Sam to keep his arm around her.
"Last week, I found a shortcut between my locker and the parking lot, walking through the cafeteria cut fifteen seconds from my daily routine, and yesterday, I saw something. Look, I know your dad's been struggling, and I just want to help." Blaine explained. "Hunger's a big problem in the country, but so is obesity which is confusing." He added, rather confused.
Glancing up at Sam, Lexi raised her eyebrow, which was a sign for "can I tell him?"
At this, Blaine frowned, watching the couple's telepathic exchange. Once she got permission, she turned back to Blaine. "Okay, can you promise you can keep a secret?"
"Yeah of course." Blaine nodded.
"I have been stealing pasta." Sam confessed. "But it's not for dinner..."
"It's art." Lexi added, once Sam had led them to the art classroom. She walked into the room, observing the art, while Blaine followed in her lead.
"So...what do you think?" Sam asked, Blaine as he looked through his friend's portraits.
"Are these macaroni portraits?" Blaine asked.
"They're my guilty pleasure." Sam admitted. "My art teacher thinks I'm some sort of genius."
"Is that Emma Stone?" Blaine asked, gesturing to one of his portraits of the actress.
"Yeah, and that's LeAnne Rimes, Ralph Macchio, those guys from Duck Dynasty, I also did Lexi, and I even did uh, Kurt." Sam explained.
"The macaroni really captures him." Blaine sighed under his breath. "Thank you for sharing this art with me, it is really incredible." He added, as him and Lexi began to walk out the door.
"Woah, woah, woah! Not so fast!" Sam stopped the two from leaving. "Now it's your turn."
"For what?" Lexi asked as she folded her arms.
"For your guilty pleasures." Sam answered.
"I-I don't have a guilty pleasure." Blaine insisted - that was a lie though.
Sam rolled his eyes at his friend's answer, persistent in getting Lexi and Blaine to admit their guilty pleasures. "Liars. Come on, you really think I don't know you that well?" He asked, looking at both of them. "Blaine, you're doing your little unconvincing laugh, and Lexi, you either talk in an unusual tone, or avoid eye contact with me. You're doing number two, which means you're lying." He observed, already too familiar with the antics. "Everyone's got that one thing that they like that they're so ashamed of, that they refuse to admit it to anybody."
After a few moments, Blaine finally answered. "I love...Wham." He said, as Lexi raised her eyebrow at him.
"What?" Sam asked, confused.
"They're like my favorite band of all time!" Blaine explained excitedly, before him and Sam turned to Lexi, who was still avoiding any eye contact. She glanced up at the ceiling, before checking the time on her phone.
"Oh, would you look at that!" Lexi smiled , as the boys just shook their heads, keeping in their laughs.
"I have to go." She excused herself, before running out the door, taking Tina down with her. "I am so sorry." She apologized, before the two girls laughed along with each other.
"Hey guys." Tina greeted.
"Hey, Tina." They answered in unison.
"Did you hear the news? Mr. Schue is out with the flu this week." She explained.
"Hey, uh-just curious." Sam smirked teasingly. "Are you gonna go over to his house and straddle him whilst he's passed out and rub some ointment on his chest?"
"That was a phase." Tina glared at the boy. "Anyways, don't bother coming to Glee Club this week. It's cancelled."
At that news, Sam, Lexi, and Blaine exchanged looks, once Tina had left.
"Not necessarily, I have an idea."
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Later on, the rest of the New Directions wandered into the choir room, surprised to see Sam, Lexi, and Blaine waiting for them.
"Why are we here?" Kitty spoke up first. "I thought Mr. Schue was sick."
"Yeah, why are we here?" Unique agreed.
"I was wondering the same thing."
"Oh, come on guys!" Blaine smiled. "Regionals are only a few weeks away and even without an advisor, we can't afford to miss one week of preparation." He added, trying to lift the mood.
"Which is why Blaine, Lexi, and I have asked you to meet us here." Sam continued. "We've come up with an assignment this week." He smiled, before turning to Lexi. "Lex." He said, as she smirked slightly.
"Yes!" She said, walking to the whiteboard, and writing guilty pleasures across the board.
"I was hoping it would be songs about sweaters." Brittany commented innocently.
"Come on!" Sam persist.d "We all have some musical shame!"
"Yeah! You know, that secret that we dare not speak, but when it comes on the radio you can't help but sing and dance along." Lexi smiled, as Sam and Blaine nodded.
"Yeah, and we're supposed to sing one of those for Regionals?" Jake asked with a frown.
"No, Sam, Lex, and I were talking earlier, just like, shooting the crap like three bros do, you know?" Blaine asked, as Lexi bit her lip to prevent herself from laughing at the way he formulated part of the sentence. "And we felt really safe with each other. So we decided to reveal our guilty pleasures." He finished.
"And it felt amazing, like letting go of this big secret made me feel so good!" Sam agreed.
"Okay, then why don't you three geniuses go first?" Jake suggested.
"Already ahead of you." Lexi winked.
"Well, we thought instead of telling you, we could show you." Blaine grinned, as him, Sam, and Lexi unzipped their hoodies to reveal their choose life t-shirts to the group.
{Wake Me Up Before you Go-Go - Sung by Blaine Anderson, Sam Evans, Lexi Torres}
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Lexi noticed Sam slightly panicking the next day in the choir room. He was about to announce his guilty pleasure, and she could tell he was nervous.
"You okay?" She asked quietly.
"Nervous." Sam answered, as she smiled softly.
Lexi had a brief idea of his guilty pleasure, but they rarely discussed it, so she was truly finding out with everyone else.
"It's a safe place, you don't have to worry about being laughed at, baby." Lexi whispered, as he pulled her into a hug.
"Thanks, Lex." He smiled, leaning down, and capturing her lips in his. Once they pulled away, she sent him a thumbs up, before proceeding to sit next to Blaine.
With a nod from Blaine, He took a breath, before moving to the centre of the room.
"I love Barry Manilow." Sam blurted out to the group. "I mean, not just the Barry Manilow Love on Ice Tour, but I think he's an amazing songwriter and performer, and I also believe he's underappreciated, has amazing hair, and has done a hell of a lot of good for this world for his light rock talent. This is who I am, and I make no apologies."
{Copacabana - Sung by Sam Evans}
Sam had to admit, he was surprised with the group joined in, dancing, and singing, and vibing to the song. All of them re-enacting the lyrics in the song.
Lexi let out a giggle as Sam smiled fondly at her. He twirled her into his arms, going as far as dipping her over, before bringing her back up, as the two continued to dance together.
"That was so brave." Blaine spoke up, once the performance was over. At his friend's praise, Sam smiled proudly.
"I'm so proud of you baby." Lexi called, as Sam smirked at her.
"You've given me the courage to stand...Well, sit in front of my peers, and proudly state that I'm a Fan-ilow as well." Artie said.
"Guys, I like him, too." Jake confessed.
"Music aside, the guy's got style." Ryder nodded. "All right, if it was '79, I'd be rocking the Manilow center part instead of the Bieber."
"Are you guys kidding?" Sam asked. "You guys really like Barry, huh?"
"Dude, everyone loves Barry, but thank you for making us finally say it out loud." Blaine answered. "Go Sam."
"We love the Barry!" Artie called over the cheering. "Best number ever!"
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Lexi smiled, as she stood onstage in the auditorium later that day. She had finally decided to perform, and dedicated this performance to her mom.
"Lexi, you have the stage." Sam smiled sympathetically, knowing it took her a lot of mental strength to even get up there and perform.
"Thanks." She nodded, before turning to the group.
"Ever since I was young, my guilty pleasure has been Mamma Mia! The first actual song I played and sang on the piano was Thank You for the Music. It has always had a special place in my heart. More importantly, I'd love to dedicate my performance to my mom, who I know is with me, no matter where I am or what I'm doing...I know she's there." Lexi said, as the group's eyes softened at the girl's mention of her mom. They watched as she sat down at the piano, before looking up. "Mom, this is for you."
I'm nothing special, in fact, I'm a bit of a bore
When I tell a joke, you've probably heard it before
But I have a talent, a wonderful thing
'Cause everyone listens when I start to sing
I'm so grateful and proud
All I want is to sing it out loud
So I say
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me
Mother says I was a dancer before I could walk
She says I began to sing long before I could talk
But I often wonder, how did it all start
Who found out that nothing could capture a heart
Like a melody can
Well, whoever it was, I'm a fan
So I say
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me
I've been so lucky, I am the girl with golden hair
I want to sing it out to everybody
What a joy, what a life, what a chance
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me
Throughout the performance, Lexi could feel tears streaming down her face, while she poured her heart and soul into her performance.
The rest of the New Directions could hear her cries, and her shaky breaths as she neared the end of the song, which caused them to cry along with her.
Once she finished, everyone clapped and cheered for her. Lexi smiled through her tears, as she stood up, feeling the tears really begin to fall. She quickly wiped them, trying to keep her strong and confident persona up.
She was about to walk off stage so she could have some time to breathe, but someone gently grabbed her hand. Lexi felt herself immediately being brought into Sam's arms for a comforting hug. She hid her face in his chest, as he held her close to him, allowing her to cry as he ran a hand through her hair, while rubbing her back. "I love you, and I'm so proud of you." He whispered.
"Thank you. I love you too." She choked out, as she pulled away to look up at him. He smiled sadly, wiping her tears with his thumbs, before she leaned her forehead against his, letting him cup her face with his hands.
After a few moments, Blaine spoke up. "Everyone, give it up for Lexi." He said, clapping, before he walked onto the stage, and joining Sam and Lexi her in a comforting hug. Everyone watched as the trio stood in the hug, before they all decided to join in, engulfing her in a group hug.
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After he'd gathered the courage to perform one of his guilty pleasure songs, Blaine sat at the piano, playing and singing an emotional rendition of Phil Collins Against All Odds. Lexi could see that he kept sneaking glances at Sam every now and then, and she knew that Sam saw it too, judging that he was sitting beside her. You didn't need to be an idiot to see it, even Brittany noticed it, although she didn't question it. Not really knowing how to react, Lexi stood up, leading the group by clapping for her friend.
Everyone immediately followed her lead once he'd finished his performance.
"So, who exactly was that song for Blaine?" Tina asked, her tone was rather insensitive.
"Tina, not now." Lexi shook her head, as Tina scoffed quietly.
"Uh, it was for Kurt, obviously." Blaine answered, as he walked off the stage. "The breakup is still a fresh wound. But it's really about the musical genius of Phil Collins, and like any musical genius of his time, when you dominate that period with such success, people tend to make fun of you, and put you down. But the truth is he's a musical legend and I'm tired of people making fun of him and I'm going to dedicate a good part of my future ensuring his genius is understood and appreciated." He rambled awkwardly. "I am no longer in the closet about my love for Phill Collins." He finished, sending Sam one last glance, before looking at the group again.
"All right, everybody, give it up for Blaine Anderson." Sam said, as everyone clapped and cheered again.
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Blaine sat in the auditorium at the end of the week playing piano, when Sam and Lexi and walked in together.
"I wanted to do one last Phil Collins song before they make us put our guilty pleasures back in the closet." Blaine explained with a smile.
"Well, maybe we don't have to." Sam shrugged, as Lexi nodded. "I mean, everyone seems to be having so much fun with them out on the table. Maybe life's better that way."
"I don't know about that. I think if we always engulfed ourselves in that kind of thing we'd make a lot of people uncomfortable." Blaine responded, awkwardly.
"Blaine, you don't have anything to be ashamed or uncomfortable with." Lexi assured him, as she leaned against the piano.
"You don't have to be uncomfortable. It's okay, I get it. Your-your guilty pleasure is me." Sam spoke up after a few moments. "I mean, I've known all year and you know frankly, I'm an attractive guy, and you're into dudes, and if you weren't into me, I'd be pretty offended." He continued, sending Blaine a reassuring look.
"You're not freaked out?" Blaine asked. "Because I don't want to jeopardise our friendship-you've been there for me through the whole Kurt thing..." He rambled, as Sam interrupted.
"Okay stop. Nothing's gonna change. We're like brothers, and I trust you, and to tell you the truth, the attention feels kinda good, it's flattering." He said, placing his hands on Blaine's shoulders. "Come on, let's hug it out." He said, bringing Blaine into a hug.
"I want in too." Lexi said, as the boys laughed, engulfing her in a hug. When they pulled away, Blaine turned to her. "Lex, look..."
"Blaine! Please, don't feel pressured to apologize. I'm cool with it. I'm not offended or hurt." Lexi smiled. "And frankly, Sam is one of kind, he's smart, humorous, and quite hot." She added, as Sam kissed her head.
"Thank you, Lex." Blaine let out a sigh of relief.
"We love you dude. Come on, let's go lead one last class together." Sam said. "I have one more song that you are gonna love."