Today was the day we were dropping the album.
We leave for tour in 2 days, and I am freaking out. Panic attacks almost twice a day since graduation. This all suddenly got extremely scary.
Everything was all set, album cover, set list, everything. So why was I so worried?
Maybe it was the fact that it just now hit me that this is our big break, we made it big, and now we are literal role models for people, which is already a lot of pressure. Yes I organized everything, but now tonight I also need to make sure that an entire engagement goes off without a hitch. So much pressure, so many possibilities.
Uh oh, here I go again.
I bring my hand up to my chest as I slide down the wall of our room, tears falling down my cheeks, my breathing going a million miles a minute. I feel like I'm suffocating, all my sense are in overdrive. Luka just left and my mind started wandering again. I hate that he has to worry about me do much. I've felt like such a burden these past few days.
Everything is going to fall apart.
Anarka is going to say no.
Luka and Jules will hate their parents getting married.
The album wont be released.
Everything will just be one big mess up because of you!
My mind was racing with all these horrible thoughts, everything around me is spinning and is moving so fast yet so slow at the same time. I feel my lungs struggling to let air in and out.
Suddenly I hear a bang from my left ear and see a blur of black and blueish teal in front of me. I can't hear anything, but my vision starts focusing. I can make out faint noises...
"It's all gonna be okay y/n... in and out... 5 things...see"
I try and focus on seeing objects and saying them, my breathing is still all over the place, but it begins to slowly settle.
"A... a bed, ch-chair... d-door, you...poster" I stutter out trying to follow Luka's directions.
"Good, look at me y/n, just at me."
I focus my attention on him, his eyes filled with worry and care... something else was hidden in his eyes, I just couldn't quite see what.
"There is that normal breathing pattern I fall asleep next to." He says with a chuckle, his smile wide.
"Thanks Lu, I'm sorry I'm such a mess, I don't know why my anxiety is so bad as of late."
"Hey, hey, hey, sweetheart you are not and have never been a mess, you have anxiety, there is nothing wrong with that. I think you should see a doctor about it though, they are getting pretty bad."
A faint smile appears on my face as Luka's words escape his mouth while he takes both my hands in his.
"Now, we have a party to set up, are you ready for the speeches?" He asks.
"I'm not too sure, I memorized them, but, what if I freak out in the middle of giving the speech?" I ask, worry remains clear in my voice.
"Hey, I will be right up there with you, holding your hand the whole time, just like we planned yesterday, you are going to do amazing, and if you start to forget, just wing it, I'm sure it will be perfect, just like you." He responds lowly in a calm tone. Before placing a soft kiss on my forehead.
"I really don't deserve you." I say.
Luka's eyes go wide.
"Excuse me" He says dragging out the me.
"Since when did I say it was negative thought time, sorry babe but you're stuck with me, and if anything you're too good for me." He sputters out quickly.
I let his reassurance enter my mind, and I can feel the dark and twisties fading away into the depths of my brain once again.
"I'm sorry dear, dark and twisties again... I love you Lu, and no, you are perfect, and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather be 'stuck with' as you say" I respond, wrapping my arms around his waist while resting my head on his chest.
His arms wrap around the back of my neck and we stay there, in comforting silence for a few moments. Just letting all the negativity out.
"Okay lovebirds, we got a party to set up, and you two are our leads, so chop chop!" Rose yells from the doorway leaving us both startled. We chuckle at her behavior and walk up to the deck.
It looks amazing, we decorated the stage with white streamers. The entire deck had strands of fairy lights around. It was like something out of a Disney movie if it were based on a houseboat. All we had to do no was sound check, and setting up the tables with snacks, the speakers, and of course, set aside a spot to have a dance floor.
-7:45 pm-
We had been setting up the rest of the day, the sound check went flawlessly, the tables were set up and Mari's parents had already set up the desserts, they looks so... fancy. The dance area was shown by having ropes similar to the ones on the ship itself, making it seem like a restricted section of the boat itself.
As we finished the cameramen and a few reporters showed up, ready to get coverage for their stations, and also some cameramen were doing the live streams for other countries. We showed them places to set up and helped the live streaming cameramen connect to their stations.
-8 pm-
Everyone else started filing onto the boat, and soon enough it was so packed we had a crowd forming off the boat as well.
I got up in stage and the live streamers gave me the signal telling me everything was live. Luka got up on stage with me and held my hand.
Just like we planned.
"Hello everyone here in person, thank you for coming, and for everyone else watching around the globe, hello to you as well. We have quite the party set up. We will be performing up until the clock hits 10pm, when our album officially drops on all downloading platforms, all cd's and vinyl will be on store shelves tomorrow morning. Before the performing begins, and also in between songs, we will be opening the floor to questions, from reporters here on site, and to the live chats. We have people working tirelessly with translations to get your questions in other languages to us, and are subtitling the live feed in real time. This truly was huge to put together. Now behind me is the countdown clock to 10, I hope you all will celebrate with me, by staying to enjoy the secret surprise we have planned for the time the album drops."
With that Luka looks at me with a questioning glance. I told him his dad would be making an appearance tonight, but he doesn't know quite yet exactly why both his parents are making an appearance on-stage at 10pm.
"Without further ado, the floor is now open to a few questions, and for those of you here, when the music begins, if you'd like to show off your moves, we have an area sectioned off for camera to cover, don't be shy, show the world what you got! Now, any questions?" I ask.
Hands shoot up.
"Yes, Ms?" I ask the woman reporter.
"Why is your album called 'heartline'?"
"Simply because it has a lot of emotional songs, and we want them to tell a story in a way, the song order is supposed to show the up's and down's of a relationship, while at the end of the day your significant other, still being the reason your heart beats." Luka responds.
"Wow, that's deep."
"Imagine the late night conversations about the universe." I joke, a light laugh runs through the crowd. One of the translators raises their hand.
"Yes?" I ask pointing to him.
"Amanda Brookdale from New York wants to know, how do you and Luka make your relationship work all the time?"
"Well Amanda, we no doubt have arguments every now and then, but we've known each other for years, we communicate all the time and know each other like the back of our hands, we know what the other needs and wants, and that is what keeps us in a stable and healthy relationship. Mutual understand and respect. I believe that so many people jump into relationships without getting to know the person first, and their whole outlook on love ends up getting ruined because of it." I say.
"Okay so, before a few more questions, we are going to run through the first two songs of the album real quick, and hopefully that gives some more time to think up some questions, because we are dying for some fan interaction as of late." Luka says into the mic before grabbing his guitar.
I sit at the keyboard and set up the mic, even though not all the songs have guitar and keyboard, it's best to be prepared.
We begin playing Unsteady.
The crowd does their normal cheering and singing along as I sing. I sang as if I was in Luka's shoes, his mom staying and being unhappy alone, while his dad left, even though they begged him to stay. Even though Jagged was back, the pain of him leaving remained, and I feared that they would be a wound that nothing was capable of mending.
The next song we sang was You Are The Reason.
After we finish the song and the clapping dies down, Luka and I approach the mic at center stage once more.
"Okay, any more questions?" I ask. The translator raises 2 fingers, signaling he has 2 new questions from viewers. I give him a nod to begin asking.
"Cecile Eddington from London, England wants to know 'How did you guys get Kitty Section to take off?'"
"Well Cecile, we were pretty well known in France for a while, with our previous singer Rose, she left because she wanted to focus more on her studies. We all understood, and y/n here took her place, after that, with y/n and I already having a following on youtube, it helped boost our popularity. It seemingly happened by chance, but we all worked really hard to get here today, and we still have a slot more work to do." Luka responds.
"Haruto Tanaka from Japan wants to know 'Where do you all see yourself in 20 years?'"
"Well 20 years is a long time from now, we'd all be 38 at that point, maybe still touring, but personally I see myself with a family, if I can do that while managing to continue with dance and music I would be thrilled, but at the end of the day family is everything to me." I say simply.
"I am honestly in the same boat, if doing all of that takes too much of a toll on my family, my kids and partner would come first, always." Luka agrees.
Everyone else in the band and the friend group collectively hum in agreement.
We played through the rest of the set list after finding out there were no more questions. As we finished the last song, the countdown time only had a minute left.
"Now everyone, we only have a minute left, so I will make this quick, when the countdown end, please avert your attention to the upper deck for a nice surprise, for those of you online or out of sight, there are cameramen up there."
As I finish what I am saying I turn to the countdown timer and we all chant together-
"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1" As everyone cheers they look to the upper deck, where you can now see Jagged on one knee in front of Anarka, his mic already turned on.
"Anarka Couffaine, what a test our love has gone through, hell we have 2 adult kids who I wasn't even there to raise, and I will forever regret that, as well as my regret for not being by your side through it all. But I'm here now, here to stay, and hoping you are here accepting my offer. Anarka Couffaine, will you continue to be the music in my life, and marry me?" Jagged asks, everyone does their fair share of 'aw's' while waiting in anticipation for Anarka's answer.
Luka looks over at me, while Jules and Rose appear on my left.
"Did you know about this?" Luka asks, a visible smile shining bright on his face.
"I helped him plan it." I admit, kissing his cheek. I avert my gave back to the upper deck soon after.
Anarka finally settles a halt in her tears of joy and musters out-
"Yes. Of course I will you big oph!" She yells while wrapping her arms around his neck in a hug before backing away and allowing him to slip the engagement ring on her finger. All while the crowd erupts into cheers and a few screams of "Congrats!"
I can't wait for that to be Luka and I.