Several hours and one nap later, I was gently rubbed awake. A soft padding of a thumb swiping across my cheek was all it took for me to blink several times, twisting my body to face the warmth in front of me.
"We're at the venue," Ross whispers, keeping his hand to continue the movement. I nod, stretching myself out, a luxury it seems for me to do within this bunk. "Sleep okay?"
I lean up onto my elbow, nodding once more then rubbing my eyes. "Did you sleep?" I ask, the bus coming to a hard stop.
He nods. "Yeah, baby," he responds, leaning in and finishing his two word sentence with a kiss on the cheek.
He slips out of the cramped area, stretching out his own long limbs in the tiny walkway. I slide out shortly after him, walking to the bathroom to fix myself up.
"That's insane," Rocky mumbles, peaking out the window.
I furrow my eyebrows. "What's going on?" I ask, dragging my fingers through my hair to calm the bed head.
"Look at how many people are lined up and waiting to go into the venue. The show doesn't start for another four hours," he whispers in amazement, his eyes wide open as he gently pulls the blind down in order to see.
The bus is parked at the side of the venue, out of the fan's eye. The only way we can see is the small window at the back of the bus, a glimpse into what looks like an extremely long line.
"What're you two looking at?" Ross's soft voice comes from behind us.
I turn and smile at his crazy hair, his eyes immediately meeting mine. "The fans waiting outside," I reply.
He walks a bit closer to me, his hands slipping onto my hips as he looks over me with ease to glance at the waiting crowd. "Holy shit," he murmurs, his one hand grasping at the flesh on my hip as the other tugs down the blind. "That's insane."
"It's crazy how they're here to see you guys. Like... they're here for you," I reply, in utter amazement.
People traveled all this way to come see my boyfriend and his family. That's crazy? My absolutely normal boyfriend. Well, kind of normal.
With a swift kiss to the top of the head, Ross's fingers ghost from my body as he runs to the other side of the tour side to tell the rest of his family.
I move out of the way as they come speed walking in, trying to get any sneak peek they can get.
"This is crazy," Ross mumbles, smiling to himself as he stares at his siblings.
I smile. "I'm proud of you," I say, sliding my hand out to wrap my fingers around his.
After sneaking into the venue, I'm in utter shock by how big this place is. It holds around 15,000 people. And it's sold out.
We walk through the empty arena, our foot steps making noise as we travel across the stage.
"So sound check will be in an hour. There are rooms in the back for you to hang out in or shower or whatever it is you want to do," Mark says, scrolling through the itinerary on his phone. "Then pre-show meet and greet in two hours then the show in three and a half hours. Got it?"
There was a chorus of "yes" and then everyone split off to continue exploring.
"I think I might shower. Want to come with me?" Ross asks, his eyes meeting mine.
I nod and follow him to the lengthy hallway of rooms and storage areas. "You can take that one, I think the others have been claimed," Mark says, pointing to the last dressing room.
We go inside and it has a sofa and some chairs, water bottles and snacks littered across the room. There's a bathroom and a small closet as well as a huge mirror and table. It's decorated with vinyl records and pictures of other bands or artists who was here once before, a guitar even hung nicely on the wall.
"I'm serious, I really am proud of you," I say once he places down our bags.
I'll never be able to say it enough.
He smiles, leaning his hips against the table and opens his arms. "Don't make me get all sappy," he murmurs, closing hands to signal for me to come closer.
I move closer, wrapping my arms loosely around his neck as he tugs me in tight against his body. The only noise emitting from the room is our soft breathing and the hum of the air conditioning, his hand sliding up to my cheek to rub against it.
"Just being honest," I tell him.
He leans down, encompassing my lips with his. It's a quick moment in the silence before the door gets pushed open and the rowdiness walks in.
"I'm sorry!" Rydel squeaks causing Ross to lean up off me and glance at her. "I just wanted Hayley's help with an outfit."
He nods. "She'll be there in five, okay?"
"Yes. Yep. Sounds great," his sister says, turning on her heel and closing the door behind her.
I glance back up at him and laugh. "What? Not finished with you yet."
I raise my eyebrows and he leans down, yanking me up to wrap my legs around his hips. "But the door," I murmur before his lips are back on mine.
I guess he thought the answer was to just roughly push us up against it, his hand traveling to the back of my head to make sure I don't knock it against the wood.
His hand is pushed against the door frame now, applying more pressure to the old wood. His other hand holds me up, hugging my body tight to his while my hands explore his upper body.
"I should go," I remind him once his lips latch to my exposed neck, pressing long kisses to the skin.
He hums against the pale skin. "No," he replies, a simple answer as though he wasn't the one who told his sister five minutes.
I place both hands to his cheeks, pulling him back and raising my eyebrows at his soft expression.
"Yeah," I whisper, releasing my legs from off his hips. Ross pouts. I laugh and separate from his grip, grabbing my phone off the table and meeting him back at the door. "I'll see you after your shower!"
He sticks out his bottom lip even more. "Fine."
I mimic the same expression. "Fine," I repeat, smiling at him then walking out of the door.
I make my way down the hallway to find the open door with Rydel singing softly to herself as she applies her makeup.
She glances up at the noise, our eyes meeting for a split second in the mirror before she looks back down. "Sorry for barging in before," she says, closing her eyeshadow case.
I laugh and sit in the chair beside her. "It is absolutely no big deal at all," I tell her, bringing my knees up to my chest.
Rydel grabs several clothes, all hung nicely on hangers and we go through each and every piece for the next twenty minutes. We pick a simple outfit, Rydel insisting she wanted to a leather jacket tonight so we paired a dress under it.
I also help curl the back pieces of her hair. As I'm going through the tedious motions, she talks excitedly about the show. "I feel like it's going to be such a freeing moment. But at the same time, I'm so nervous I could throw up. Does that make sense?"
My phone vibrates from my pocket so I glance quickly at the main screen.
Ross: I miss you, come back
It's only been thirty minutes so I place the phone down on the table and continue. "I think that makes sense for any type of situation like this. You'll do great though, you have nothing to worry about," I tell her.
"I wish Capron was here," she murmurs, referring to her boyfriend.
"Do you think he'll visit or come to one of the last shows?" I ask, wrapping her hair around the hot hair tool, careful not to clamp my fingers.
She nods. "I think the Los Angeles one, our last one. It'd be hard to put another person on the bus, it's already so hectic."
My phone vibrates again, lighting up on the table. I glance over.
Ross: please :( I'm nervous, my stomach hurts and I want you
"That makes sense. I wonder how different the new bus will be," I say, grabbing the last piece of hair that needed to be curled.
She points to my phone. "Is that Ross?"
I place the curler down on the table in front of her. "Yeah, saying he's nervous and asking me when I'll be done, but it's okay. I can keep helping you out with anything you need!"
"No, no, it's okay. You did more than enough," his sister says, standing up out of her chair and fluffing her hair.
I smile. "I'll see you before you go to soundcheck!"
I grab my phone and begin walking out back to Ross's dressing room.
Ross: baby please
I decide not to respond and instead push the door open.
My eyes flick around the room until they settle on him.
"What's wrong? Does your stomach hurt that bad? Do you need medicine?" I ask, dropping to my knees in front of him as he lays on the couch with tears stained across his cheek. "Talk to me," I rush, hardly even giving him a second to talk.
My hands go to cup his cheek, rubbing his soft skin. Meanwhile, his hands move to grab my arms, tugging me so I crawl over him.
"I don't think I can do this," he says, his voice choppy as he struggles to take in deep breaths.
"It's okay, you're okay," I whisper, sliding my other leg over him so I sit on his lap, my body arching over so I can get as close as possible. "What are you nervous about?"
"The people. There are going to be so many people here and they're all going to be watching me and, and I don't think I can do it, baby, please don't make me do it," he cries, his chest heaving as he speaks quickly.
"Sit up, baby, hug me," I respond, running my hands through his still wet hair.
Ross shifts back, adjusting his body so he's sitting up better. He then lets out another sob and wraps his arms around my waist, yanking my body even closer to him.
My hands continue to go through his hair, my face pressing against part of it. "I'm here, it's going to be okay."
He cries for the next five minutes, his whole body shaking from the outbursts. It's mixed with quick breathing, making me think he's either walking the fine line between crying and a panic attack with how much he's struggling to breathe. I whisper in his ear to remind him, telling him I'm not leaving, trying anything to help him calm himself down.
"Ross, I've been texting you, we have to get going," Mark says, the door flying open with a bang as it hits the wall behind it.
Ross jumps in my arms, burying his face further into my chest.
I go to lean back, my eyes meeting Mark's and my mouth open, trying desperately to find words to describe what's happening. Ross holds me closer, not allowing me to move out of his reach.
"I- he's," I stumble, glancing down at him then back at Mark, pulling one of my hands away to mimic a tear coming down my eye.
"What's going on, bud?" Mark says, his voice much softer than what it was before. He starts to walk closer, his hand reaching out to rub Ross's back.
He finally leans up and looks at both of us with a blotchy face, bloodshot eyes and tear streaks down his cheeks.
"I'm scared," he whispers.
He nods. "It's okay to have stage fright. The first part is the easiest, this is just soundcheck. How about you feel out how practicing playing the music feels then we can take it from there?" His dad asks, concern written all over his face.
Ross glances at me. I nod to him, my eyes keeping direct contact. Hoping he realizes that I'm also suggesting him to do it, not telling him to do so.
"Sure," he whispers, his eyes glancing back at his dad. "I'll try."
"Okay, we'll be out on the stage whenever you're ready. You can have an extra ten minutes," he says with an attempt to compromise.
Once his dad walks out, I glance back down into the sad eyes.
He immediately curls up back into my hands that now rest on his cheeks. "You're going to do amazing, baby. I have no doubts at all."
"I was terrified to play you my own music and I'm in love with you, how am I meant to do that with 15,000 people?"
I smile. "Try not to think of it like that. These are all people who love your music and love you for you, they wouldn't judge you. It's okay to stumble over lyrics or forget a chord. They're here to see you, just you being here and performing for them is making their whole month. You'll do amazing, I know you will. You're a natural."
Ross blows out a breath, tilting his head back to lean it against the cushion. "You promise?"
"I promise on everything, you'll do amazing," I say confidently.
"Please, just for a minute," he whispers, leaning up and pushing his lips against mine.
I'm not one to reject a kiss from him.
"I love you, you'll do great," I manage to mumble in between kisses, his mouth soft and inviting as he holds me to him.
He hums. "I love you, I love you, I love you. I wish you could be out there with me," he whines.
Mark is debating allowing me to stand in the crowd for a bit. I'd go in front of the barrier for maybe a song, but his management is afraid of people correlating the two together.
It makes no sense because I could be there for Rydel, but everyone will think it's suspicious I'm there anyway. If we go outside and get papped, they'll see me. Unless I'm kept inside the entire time and I'm not allowed out with them for that reason.
If that happens, Ross would rise hell.
He slowly leans back, pushing one last final kiss to my lips before tapping my legs.
"Ready to go?" I ask, sliding off of him and standing on the ground.
He nods. "Yeah," he says softly. He stands up and intertwines our fingers, his hand soft and big in mine.
We walk through the long corridors in silence, employees rushing past us and speaking into the headsets as they try to make everything work. I can feel his hand get progressively warmer as we make it to the stage, the sound of his siblings playing filling our eardrums.
"We missed you," Rydel says, her voice the first one to break the song once they saw him.
Ross smiles and releases my hand, walking toward his mic in the front then turning to face everyone. I stay on the side, leaning against a pole and smiling at his happy expression.
"What song are we starting with?" He asks.
"Preacher Man."