"Is everything alright?", Soobin asks as he leads the hesitant boy towards his couch for support. His heart is palpitating under his chest and the soft but rapid heartbeats refuse to stop because his mind is circulating about all the ideas, things that could happen or could have happened due to which Hueningkai needed to call him. The constant chain of thought is disrupted when he notices the latter limping on one foot, reaching for the sofa. He helps him, warm hands radiating the clothed shoulder of the other, and a burning sensation sends tingles to Hueningkais arms. He hates himself for freezing at the spot when Soobin technically back hugs him, both of his arms holding Hueningkais from the back and gently placing him down on the sofa.
"M-y foot", Hueningkai manages to utter. His heel suddenly ache as he rests it freely on the floor due to slipping on the stairs of his doorstep.
"Is it bad?", Soobin asks
"Y-yeah I'd say so, It hurts a lot", Hueningkai murmurs while his hands get busy trying to soothe the pain.
"Hey, wait here alright? I'll be right back", Soobin dismisses him as he jogs up his staircase and to his room. Hueningkai takes this as an opportunity to look around Soobins house. It's spacious, not much furniture but suits Soobin well. Nice wooden tiles followed by light brown paint on the wall, a campfire by the TV lounge and an open kitchen right beside that room. He also notices the insurmountable number of paintings on the wall. There's many frames in his house as well, many that have to do with him and his family being in it. Hueningkai is dying to observe them but his present condition begs him not to. Obviously he obeys, not majorly because of his condition, but because the sound of loud footsteps get audible to him abruptly.
Hueningkai whips his head around and at the sight of a first aid in the letters hand, he almost wants to sigh in relief. "C'mere", Soobin says as he sits next to Hueningkai on the sofa. He gestures towards the foot and although Hueningkai doesn't like the way he's making Soobin do everything, he also knows Soobin wouldn't let him do it on his own either.
Hueningkai proceeds to take his shoes off, heel slowly resting on the cold hardwood tiles beneath making him sigh in relief but also agony as the pressure of the floor make his heel ache. Soobin urges him to rest it on the table in front and as he does so, a plaster is taken out of the first aid kid and soobins hands gently coil around the heel with the plaster in his hand. He makes sure to wrap it not so tight so they pain doesn't increase. The burning sensation is still present. Hueningkais heart feels like exploding. In the midst of the quiet room and the only sound audible to Hueningkai is his heart vigorously palpitating, he looks over at Soobin and the way he finishes up wrapping the plaster around, concentrated and eyebrows squinting attentively. He wonders why he hadn't called Taehyun for help, he could've helped him too and wouldn't have made him anxious and sort of uncomfortable with the aura. The tension, and the silence that fits between the two is what Hueningkai knows isn't usual with the rest of his friends. Loud conversations, laughter and screaming is normal when hes around his friends, but it's way different when hes around Soobin. They both know this. The sudden change in the atmosphere and how the tension increases. Hueningkai wants to change it. They both do.
"Here. Done. Make sure you don't take it off until at least 16-17 hours okay?", Soobins soothing voice captures the silence and he looks up to Hueningkai for an answer.
"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind", Hueningkai mutters under his breath.
"Do you wanna talk about the main reason why you came over?", Soobin lightly chuckles. Hueningkai takes his feet off the table and hesitates a little before starting.
"Did I ever tell you about how my dad was in debt with my aunt?", he questions.
"Wha- I dont think you ever did. I'm...sorry to hear that", he mentions, slightly dazed by how he didnt know something very concerning.
"Well. My aunt refused to lend us anymore, and well....my father couldn't pay off the rent so we started moving"
"That's.....terrible. So why did you come here?"
"I got into an argument with my parents. My mom told me....", Hueningkai doesn't say any further as he reminisces the words of his mother. The recent memory stings his mind like a muffled sound. It hurts to hear the voice in his head.
"She told you to?"
"Nothing, nothing", Hueningkai reaches out to put his face in his hands and awaken himself from the lost trail of ponder. A hand reaches out to his back, short vertical strokes that make him reach in for the warmth. He tries not to startle at first, that would make him retract his hand in denial and just comfort himself.
"It's gonna be okay....do you think your parents were at the wrong when you were arguing with them?", Soobin asks
Hueningkais hands fall down to his sides and he thinks for a moment. Violent screaming, unsupported decisions, and all of that.
"They were. That's what I like to think at least.", Hueningkai answers truthfully.
"I've been noticing my dad for a while. It's been months and he's so.....incapable. Everytime he starts working at a part time job, the pay is barely enough for a weeks meal. H-he just barely tries. My mom.....I always thought my mother would be the most supportive person ever. She's nice, but I feel like she's started to hate me ever since that day......."
"What day?" Soobin listens attentively. He's not sure hes heard this side of his story ever, he's keen to know but afraid to get the response.
"The day.....I told her I dont like girls", Hueningkai looks up and fidgets around anxiously.
"Oh.....I'm sorry you have to go through that"
"It's okay. Thanks for listening. I know I rant a lot", Hueningkai accepts with a light chuckle and a nervous hand around his neck.
Soobin smiles.
"No it's okay, I wanted to listen ", Soobin says.
The sudden disruption of the conversation is caused by a loud ringing.
"I-its my dad", Hueningkai says with an exasperated sigh as he checks his phone.
"Are you gonna pick up?", Soobin asks
"No. They're most probably asking me to come back, which I dont want to. At least not for the time being", Hueningkai answers.
Soobin nods.
"Hey, did you like the house?", Soobin asks
"Yeah, yeah I absolutely loved it. It's great, and suits you too", Hueningkai let's out a small smile. Even though the aura might me tensed, he feels safer with Soobin next to him. He feels the closure of the warmth present.
Soobin smiles endearingly. "Do you want me to call Taehyun and the rest?", he asks suddenly
"Why?", Hueningkai saddens at the thought of there being others too and doesn't want his temporary lasting moment with Soobin to end quick.
"It's always good to have friends take care of you well"
"I-im good though, it's just a brief lasting pain", Hueningkai shakes it off with a point
"Yeah, that's true.....but I'd want them to come over since they never really came over at my place. We'll have loads of fun too I'm sure.", Soobin says
"Ah okay then", the latter admits, he can't deny the fact that having friends like yeonjun and beomgyu always tend to make a situation better with their jokes and foolishness. He also can't deny how supportive and helpful Taehyun always is. The maturity in his suggestions makes Hueningkai realise that the solution to his problems is always with Taehyun and that very few people could actually be trusted with this.
Soobin reaches out to his phone and dials numbers on it. After a few seconds, the receiver picks up and Soobin is relieved that Taehyun is available. He encourages him to come over, and does the same thing when he calls yeonjun. He knows Beomgyu's staying over at Yeonjuns place so he doesn't find the need to call Beomgyu separately. Luckily, they all delightfully concur to come over and let Soobin know they'll be over at roughly around 10 minutes.
As he shuts his phone, he let's Hueningkai know they're coming and the latter responds with a nod.
"You have many vases", Hueningkai says
"Yeah? I bought them all separately"
"Oh nice...the one on that shelf looks good", Hueningkai points at the vase full of multi-colored flowers.
Soobin gets up and Hueningkai gets quizzed at his movements. Soobin walks up towards a vase on a glass shelf and very professionally takes a pink flower out of there. He storms back to Hueningkai and lends the flower in Hueningkais hands.
Hueningkais face flushes almost immediately as the flower is given to him. He looks at it endearingly, then looks back up to Soobin who's smiling shyly at his move. "Its pretty", Hueningkai chuckles a bit, letting the flower reach up to his nose. "It reminded me of you" Soobin says and followingly, Hueningkai looks up at him. "Cause you're pretty too", he says as he fakes an accent. Soobins eyes squint at his shameless attempt at flirting and almost immediately he uses his shoulder to cover his entire face. Hueningkai feels himself getting red but he immediately starts cackling up at how embarrassed Soobin had become.
After a moment of watching Soobin hide in embarrassment, Hueningkai lends a hand for him to get back on the couch. Soobin finally recovers, ears and cheeks tinted red as he plants himself on the couch.
"Good attempt", Hueningkai says as he simultaneously giggles
"Oh my my!! I'm so flustered", Hueningkai mocks an attempt to tease Soobin as he raises his hands and cups his cheeks. They feel warm, but he doesn't want Soobin to know that.
"Shut up. I shouldn't have done that", Soobin says as he fakes a huff in annoyance.
"Hey, at least it brightened the mood up a little", Hueningkai admits and Soobin nods in agreement.
"Yeah I guess", Soobin murmurs
A moment of silence takes place and Soobin really wants to ask him this so he makes a bold risky move and asks him
"Did you actually get flustered?", He covers his question with a slight chuckle that comes out as nothing but awkward of some sort.
"Do you actually think I'm pretty?", Hueningkai slightly fakes an awkward and nervous laugh at his question but he knows the laugh isn't genuine.
Soobin freezes at the spot and takes it all in. Even if that means the warmth of the air around him that's making his heart swell and his body feel hot.
"Answer mine first", Soobin tells hin
Hueningkai stares at him blankly, eyes drowning in the latters. His smile slowly faces away. The palpitation of his heart increases and he doesn't want to notice how his stomach churns at the order.
Maybe Soobin realizes it too, when the tip of his fingers, nervous and trembling, meets the cold surface of the table in front and they start making random abstract of invisible patterns, his eyes trail to meet Hueningkais and his surroundings are unconsidered because he just wants to hear it.
"Maybe", Hueningkai says, clearing his throat as a strategy to break the ice. He makes many efforts too, like lowering his gaze from Soobins and awkwardly chuckling but in the end, they obviously don't end up being successful.
"Oh. Then maybe I think you're pretty too", Soobin says and Hueningkais words are caught in his throat. He can't look at him anymore, and Hueningkai makes himself aware of the fact that Soobin knows what he's doing, multiple ways of knowing how to play along with Hueningkai. It frustrates him, but he admires it too. A lot, that, he blames himself for being sensitive and easily possessive over someone who isn't even his. The next thing he knows is that Soobin gets up, soft sound of footsteps approaching him nearer and nearer. The churning and somersaults in Hueningkais stomach increase rapidly, hands turn damp and his feet in his shoes thud as if he can feel it. Hueningkai really wants to get up too, keep his gaze leveled with Soobins. He wants Soobin to close the gap between them and do something he's been wanting to happen for ages, for so long after that day. But he's afraid, doesn't know what will happen after he accidentally mistakens Soobins movement and everything including their friendship gets ruined. So, his gaze is jammed to the table, fists clenching his jeans, and as Soobin sees the failure in any sign of similar movement, he stops at his position. Right in front of Hueningkai, a frown etches his features, hands drop down. Hueningkai almost gets up, cups the latters hands between his face and initiates the urge to kiss him, but he fights the will and cowardly looks at anything but him.
"I-I'm heading to the restroom", he breaks the tense atmosphere and leaves the living room, heading upstairs in search for the bathroom.
Soobin is no more than upset and regretful. His numerous attempts to make something happen is at no avail when Hueningkai couldn't decipher what he was on to. He falls back on the couch, eyes staring at the ceiling as his neck is craned upwards. He sighs in defeat and yet again, regrets how confident he was being when he gave Hueningkai that flower. He checks the couch, and where Hueningkai was seated, the presence of the flower is nowhere to be found. Another sign of defeat, he admits.
Shortly after pondering, the ring of the bell makes Soobin get up and for Hueningkai to simultaneously leave the washroom too. The door is pulled open and the presence of three people smiling at him and two of them already being loud makes Soobins heart melt.
"Soobin!!", Yeonjun ruffles his hair and teasingly proceeds to tug on it affectionately.
"Hello!!", Beomgyu says as he already starts making his way inside this house.
"Hi guys", Soobin says with a wide smile on his face
"Why is this area so barren? It's kinda scary", Taehyun comments as he follows Beomgyu and Yeonjun inside.
"Oh well, It's kinda peaceful to me", Soobin exclaims.
"Did you call Hueningkai too?", Beomgyu asks
"He's actually-
"HI Everyone!!", Hueningkai marks his entrance, sort of limping when he puts more weight to his right foot than his left foot.
The three are in awe when they stare at his foot. "What happened to you? Oh my God", Taehyun questions as he looks up to meet Hueningkais face.
"Ugh long story. My heel kinda slipped on the stairs", Hueningkai admits.
"That's a bummer. Is it better now?", Yeonjun asks. "Can I have a look at it?"
"Uh I don't think so. Soobin told me I shouldn't take it off for at least another 17 hours"
"Hm I see", Yeonjun says.
"Is it better now though?", Beomgyu is quick to ask. Hueningkai nods in agreement.
"Nice house Soobin. It's very....colourful", Yeonjun comments.
"Thanks, I'll show you the rooms up the stairs too"
They all walk upstairs silently and observe the different rooms present. Soobins room is spacious. It's not that tidy but in general, there's not many things which makes it look big. The wall color is a dark gray which makes it look mature and not too colourful. His desk is neatly cornered in the room with his laptop lying on top of it and a bunch of neat papers topping it. Everything, his entire house suits him well, Hueningkai thinks.
"Damn nice", Yeonjun plops himself on Soobins bed and let's his body sink in. Beomgyu joins him and Hueningkai later on as well, when he finds nothing to do except sit down.
"Soo what do you guys wanna do?", Soobin asks, eyeing everyone else. Even though there's something unsaid by the way he looks at Hueningkai.
"Let's watch a movie?", Taehyun recommends, still standing up.
"Yeah, we can watch it on my computer", Soobins attention diverts to his computer and he types in a few letters to his search engine and brings out a movie he think others will like.
Everyone shoves closer on the bed, pillows and blankets being in between and knees bumping against each other. "Imma head down and bring some snacks. Then we can start", Soobin dismisses them and hurries downstairs, the voice of footsteps slowly fading away in the midst of the silence in the room.
It stays quite for a while upstairs. The silent is comfortable. Hueningkai makes himself comfortable by engulfing the blanket on himself, body beneath it warm and radiant. "Are you doing alright now?", Yeonjun asks him, a murmur being enough for Hueningkai to listen to him.
"Hm? Yeah....I'm doing better"
Once again, silence fills the spaces in the room, Hueningkais eyes wander around the room, focusing on the details around the room. He gets enraptured by a standing lamp, tall and bright rays making the room shine to its accordance and the dangling crystals that decorate the top of the lamp. He stares at it for a while until Yeonjun speaks again, voice firmer and louder
"You never told us what happened the day you were at the hospital", Yeonjun states, clearly aware of the hesitancy Hueningkai would have when someone would ask him a familiar question.
As for Hueningkai, he almost wants to turn back time a few minutes back and intentionally interrupt Yeonjun from asking that question again. It tears his ears apart. The way his friends are oblivious of the "problem" makes him guilty but also sort of relieved. He remembers the day very well, him sitting on the hospital bed, his friends across the room waiting for an answer and the only thought circulating in his mind at that moment was the consequences of telling them he was in love with a stupidly attractive boy. He let it pass, when the nurse escorted them to break the news to him, he wish he could just bring his friends back because the face he least desired to see at that point was standing right in front of him.
"Nothing....nothing", Hueningkai stammers
"You know you're lying Hueningkai", Taehyun takes the chance to speak.
"I've known you for long, long enough for me to realize you're definitely lying and there's something you've been hiding from us ever since", he continues
Hueningkai knows he's right, and the truthful accusation stings him on his chest, words dying as he processes the fact he hasn't told his friends anything about 'that' day. He's stupid for not doing so but maybe if he'd told them earlier, his friends wouldn't have let the news be to themselves then.
"Tell us what's going on Hueningkai. We suddenly have no idea what's going on in your life. You're so distant now....we used to be so close to one another. Have you forgotten all about that? Is it your parents again? We'll keep it all to ourselves. You know we will", Taehyun breaks his chain of thought. Beomgyu stays silent but concerned meanwhile Yeonjun wants to speak but he knows it's not best to since he wants the latter to have space.
Hueningkai starts to feel guilt arousing him. He looks at the faces of his friends and then looks down again, breaking a sweat off not to let a tear form in his eye but he sooner finds his vision getting blurry, eyes moisturizing and a small tear fighting to fall down until it does, and Beomgyu is the first to notice.
"Hey hey, why are you crying??", Beomgyu approaches closer to Hueningkai, the cover still in contact with his legs. He lifts Hueningkais face up and wipes the boys tears with his sleeve.
"I'm sorry.....I-I shouldn't have said that", Taehyun speaks, remorse evident in his tone. He falls back on the bed and let's out a sigh after seeing Hueningkai cry.
"Don't worry about it", Yeonjun lets him know before turning his attention towards Hueningkai.
"Why did you come over at Soobins house in the first place?", Yeonjun asks once Hueningkai feels ready to talk.
"I-I got into an argument with my parents", his voice is low, barely above a murmur but he doesn't feel the need to raise his voice.
"Why?"
"Many reasons. They were moving out and we would've went god knows where. You guys know that aunt chohee couldn't help us further...so yeah. There's more. I just....don't wanna talk about it rn."
"Hmm..what about....the thing at the hospital?", Beomgyu asks, slowly but promptly.
"I-"
"Hueningkai"
"I-I can't. I just.....I-cant", his voice dies down as he proceeds towards the last sentence, vision getting blurry once again. His throat burns with the odd sensation and his feet start to feel numb under the hot sheets. He hates how they'll find out soon, everything hes been majorly hiding, and the untold secret that his friends might hate him for saying out loud.
Hueningkai slowly proceeds to take the blanket off of himself and get off the bed, making way to avoid himself from being forced to ask such a question. He's near to slipping his shoes on when he makes contact with the wooden tiles beneath him, hands coiling around the bedsheet as he breathes hesitantly and wants everything to be done quicker, until he hears a firm voice from the background.
"Hueningkai", Taehyun speaks. Hueningkai pauses his movements not to look behind him but in the front, startled by the unexpected voice.
He's frigid for a while until he sighs, resuming his movements of tying his shoes back on. That's when Taehyun signals the rest of the two, dismissing them on about something. While Hueningkai is still trembling, fingers quickly working on his shoe laces, the bed feels lighter on the other side as weight is being lifted off it. The footsteps of three individuals gets him distracted, feet not approaching him but the door in front, slowly and steadily keeping the stable pace and within a few seconds of having no idea of his whereabouts, Hueningkai gasps as to his surprise, the door is locked. Yeonjun takes the initiative to lock that door and immediately leans on the door he locked as to block Hueningkai from having it to his reach. Hueningkai, more than he is puzzled, gets a vague idea of what's about to happen. His eyes are on Taehyun now who's approaching towards him slowly.
"You can't keep doing this", he says as he takes a few steps forward. Hueningkai slowly stands up too, matching his gaze.
"I can if I want to"
"No you cant. You have no idea what you're doing Hueningkai", Beomgyu speaks this time, approaching from the other side. He suddenly feels trapped, out of reasons, evidence gone and wrong for all reasons.
"Tell us what you've been hiding. We know theres something.......
Something.....between you and Soobin", he finishes dreadfully.
Hueningkais eyes widen, scared and trembling, he takes a few steps back and nods his head dismisfully.
"W-what are you talking about? That's not true", he denies poorly. The effect of his voice distorts into the void, voice echoing slightly.
"You know it's true. You've been hiding for too long now. Quit being such a coward. Give it out, tell us what's been going on. Only we're the ones who can help you with this", Taehyun mentions, intimidating the latter.
Hueningkai feels suffocated by the tension. He knows there's no way out. Stained tears on his cheekbone and his eyelashes makes him quiver from the essence of slight coldness and the aura around him, eyes wanting answers and words. He's been in the oblivion for long enough, he thinks to himself. He's been approaching his feelings so poorly, confused, puzzled and disturbed by the way Soobin makes him feel. If he's doing this for the fun of it, or is everything taking a turn.....slowly but it's there.
"No...leave me alone", he fights, knees wobbling as he falls on the floor, refusing to make eye contact with any of them"
"Hueningkai!", Beomgyu interrupts, louder and irritatingly. He lowers down and grabs his shirts collar, pulling him face up and eyes levelled.
"Just stop being a fucking idiot and tell us what's going on!!!", the exponential growth of his voice intensity has a shiver crawling on Hueningkais skin. He's unable to maintain eye contact except that he lowers his head down, eyes forming tears once again, whispers and short breaths making him feel light headed. In the midst of his breakdown, he wonders what he's hiding so much. Silence of the room envelops him and makes him grunt his teeth in self-annoyance. It's known, they'll know eventually. Jeongin will know eventually. Everyone will be acknowledged of the truth......of his cowardness and reality. That would be disgusting, wouldn't it? He thinks to himself. Just like how mom would tell you once in a while. His mind stings at the memory that repeats itself. He's not valid, he makes himself believe. He's a disgrace.
The stream of tears roll down on his cheeks rapidly. Beomgyu still has his collar in his hands. He grits his teeth at the realization again.
Hueningkai pushes Beomgyu away and gets up slowly, on his feet and approaches the door until two hands push him back, locking him. He kicks, cries, punches in the air, screams, does everything he can, until he gives up. Body dying in two arms, head lowered down and gaze on the floor. The only voice that can be heard right now is the loud, heavy breathing of the trapped male
And the soft, almost inaudible footsteps behind the door, slowly walking up the staircase. None of them realize the apparition of a certain someone is near. Maybe it's because they're too focused on the male inside the room.
"Please, Hueningkai....please. Tell us what you've been hiding", Taehyun says
Hueningkai stays silent for a while, knowing there's going to be a point where it all ends. Useless, stupid and endless nonsense that reiterates his mind during every night. He knows he has to tell. Even if that means the person he loves doesn't love him back. Even if that means he's with someone else, someone who's not him and someone he knows he'll never be.
Even if that means, he doesn't know Soobin stands outside the room, already up on the front door, almost twists the door knob open but stops as he hears Taehyun say Hueningkais name loud and clear. The bowl of popcorn in his hands are held tightly in his hands, wave of anticipation and curiosity dancing in his system. He stands there, hand retrieving the door knob and ears careful to listen through the conversation.
Hueningkai is afraid, he knows it, it's impossible to battle it but he does what he's never been able to do before. His breathing evens a little, eyes closing as his body is still held tightly by Taehyun and he gives it in, loud enough for everyone in the room to hear
"I've been hiding the fact....
The fact That I-
i'm....in love with Soobin", he admits defeatedly
The bowl that was in Soobins hands drops itself on the floor recklessly.