SEONGHWA'S POV
I think I've lost myself in the maze of my doubts, facing a dead end. I am lost, confused, scared and not aware of my path out of this mess.
Three days have passed, fourth around the corner, but Soobin abstains from uttering not a word. He zones out often and has lost his appetite and you'll only ever see him while he is lost in his own thoughts. He would blankly stare at the ceiling at night as if it held something he had always needed.
Right now, it's no different. He is skimming the pad of his thumb against the spine of a book lying on his stomach which I know he hasn't been reading.
"Soobin-ah..."
Soobin slowly shifts his attention to me. "Yes?" He mumbles. I, too, shift myself in the bed, turning to lie on my sides, facing him.
"How is your hand?"
My gaze wanders to his bandaged palm and then back to him. He acknowledges the question, his nails grazing against the book once again. "Fine, I think. It doesn't hurt that much."
I hum at his answer, not really satisfied. "Can I ask you something?"
"You can ask me anything, Hwa."
"You knew the guy who shot you, right?"
He blinks, eyes widening by a fraction. "N-no." His voice comes out higher than before. I draw in a sharp breath. I catch the lie but feel a dull ache upon my chest. Does he not trust me?
"Honey, it's fine. You can tell me."
"I have nothing to tell."
"But—"
The doorbell rings loud and clear in the silence of the night. I and Soobin stare at each other for a few moments, puzzled. I am very sure none of us invited anyone. Soobin sits up. "I'll see." I hold his wrist just in time to stop his movements.
"Let me check the door cam first," I suggest, reaching for my phone on the bed stand—Soobin peers at the screen over my shoulder, curious as well. The device comes to life in my hand, recognising my face and opening up.
"Hyunjin? At this time?" The other wonders aloud, looking at me with a frown. I mirror his expressions, looking back at him.
"Wasn't he on that mission?"
"Minho-ssi informed that they were back an hour ago. Hyunjin was injured so he had to be dropped off at the city hospital."
"Oh..."
Soobin stands up, sauntering out the door of our room. I follow behind after a few seconds, finding him near the main door already, his hands turning the locks which clicked one after another. He pulls open the door.
Hyunjin, as expected, stands out in the apartment's corridor. His shoulders are sagging low and his blond hair is in a tangled mess. He slowly lifts his eyes from the floor to look at Soobin, then shifts to me. "Can I come in?" He asks, exhaustion prominent in his voice.
"Of course." Soobin steps to the side, making room for the other to enter. The other obliges, stumbling into the apartment. Soobin closes the door behind him.
Hyunjin comes to a halt, turning to Soobin who appears behind him.
I don't know what we were expecting at the detective's arrival, but I am pretty sure it wasn't anything near what really happened, because the blond, suddenly, lets out a sob before latching himself on Soobin, breaking down as if he lost everything he ever had. Flabbergasted, I rushed to him, resting my palm against his shoulder.
"Hyunjin?!"
"Why does it always have to be me?" My eyebrows knit in a frown. Is he drunk? "Why is it always me every single fucking time?"
"It's okay. Don't cry." Soobin reassures gently, rubbing the man's elbow in an attempt to provide solace. Hyunjin cries harder, his arms that embraced the taller loosening until they came to rest in his arms.
"I can't—" A hiccup, "live like this—" and another one, "anymore."
My hand wanders to his hair, caressing it. "Sit down now, bub, and tell us what's bothering you. Maybe we can help." Soobin follows my words and helps the blond to settle down on the couch all the while his hands holding onto Soobin for dear life. I put myself to work as well, going to the kitchen to pour him a glass of water, coming back to offer it to him. He accepts it without any questions, letting the coolness of it settle in his throat.
Soobin's worried eyes meet mine. I convey him a nod, turning to Hyunjin as he finally shows some signs of calming down. Fresh tears stream down his cheeks, lapping over the older ones.
"Hyunjin-ah, what happened?" asks Soobin.
The man takes his time, staring into spaces before he finally responds. "At this point, I don't think I can trust anyone... Not after today."
"Did Minho-ssi do something? Did something happen on the mission?" I suggest.
"No—" A sob interrupts him, and he falls back into his pit of distress, wailing his heart out. Maybe his condition isn't good enough for him to clarify things. In the end, Soobin and I decide on calming Hyunjin and try to make him sleep. It would be for the best.
An hour passes just like that until Hyunjin finally manages to find sleep, curled in a ball under the sheets of our bed. With a last glance at the man's face, I turn off the bedside lamp and trudge out of the room.
Soobin is sitting on the sofa, scrolling through his phone. Maybe...he needs time as well. I am pretty sure he trusts me, just looking for the courage to finally let it all out. You cannot pry open someone's soul and read out their thoughts, it takes time and it's alright.
I smile to myself. Maybe we can do something else in the meantime.
"Soobin-ah," I start, coming to his side and settling down. "I was thinking...we could go to Jeju after the case closure. What do you say?"
"Jeju..." He trails off, looking back at his phone. "Why?"
I click my tongue. "Well, you see, our first year anniversary is close and we could maybe, I don't know, freshen up? This case is really taking a toll on us, and a break is necessary. But it's fine if you don't want to go, I will un—"
"Okay."
I force my mouth shut, eyes wide. "Really?!" It is almost embarrassing, the squeak. But can't help it.
He shrugs, keeping down his phone on his lap. "I am fine with it. Next month, right?"
I nod, excitement prominent with my energy. Soobin chuckles— after almost two entire weeks, that is— and, I swear to god, it's the most beautiful sound in the world. I missed it so bad.
Giddy, I engulf the other in a bone-crushing hug, burying my face in his neck. His arms come up to hold my back. "I love you so goddamned much, Soobinnie."
"...I love you too."
We have all the time in our hands— my doubts can wait.
RYUJIN'S POV
"Kai and Taehyun have always been close, but what had happened two years ago brought them even closer. Taehyun was there when the world had turned a blind eye to Kai's misery, he was there when Kai lost all his will to live. Taehyun took care of the other as if they were related by blood, from the medicines to his schedule. If something was to happen to Taehyun, the real Kai may die with him as well...—"
Somi had said those words, and I hadn't believed even a single one of them. How could I? In all of these six months I have spent in Ravenwood, not once had I seen any emotions even nearing the word 'care' on Kai's face. It was always that smug smile or the nonchalance. But I may have been wrong.
The brunette refrains from veering his eyes anywhere away from the boy that lays in deep slumber, his chest rising and falling in a slow and gentle rhythm.
He and Beomgyu had arrived almost an hour ago. Ever since then, Kai has uttered little to nothing. Only once had he tried to contact Taehyun's father, but the man hates his son a bit too much, which made me marvel— maybe isn't all too bad after all. He is still humane to some extent, unlike Taehyun's father.
Now, it's only me and him in the hospital ward, and he doesn't even acknowledge my presence, to my surprise. Beomgyu had left some time ago to bring food and refreshments, it has been ten minutes since.
"Kai..."
For a second, I think he failed to hear me, but then he turned his head to the side. "What is it?"
I shouldn't say this already, it can be a threat to my own life. But then again, I need to find Yeji as well. I don't know why I even care at this point, but maybe I just don't want anyone to die. Maybe she is the worst person to ever come into my life, she doesn't deserve to die. And Kai doesn't deserve to be blamed for the crimes he never wanted to commit. So, I take in a sharp breath and let everything out.
"I know everything...about you."
He doesn't react for a moment, but soon speaks up, "By everything you mean?"
"Everything. About wh-what happened two years ago an—"
Kai stifles out a chuckle and I stiffen. His back is facing me so I am not very aware of his facial expressions at the moment, but the string of laughter spewing from his mouth has to be the most terrifying thing I've ever heard.
"Oh, Shin, Shin..." He shakes his head, amused with the situation. I can do nothing but frown, feeling a shiver run down my spine. But he manages to catch me off-guard, suddenly spinning around in his chair with a smirk. His grey irises feel like they can see right under my skin, with the intensity they bored upon me. I can't look at him in the eye without worrying about how he might read me like an open book. There is a subtle tilt to his head, his brown falling in his eyes. "My dear, you can never know shit about me."
"You don't want to do this. I know you don't." I mutter, looking anywhere but his face, intimidated.
He shifts his posture, placing his elbows on his thighs, and resting his chin on his clasped knuckles. "Oh please, Shin. Listen to yourself. You sound so stupid—"
"They are manipulating you."
Silence envelopes the room, making me fidget in my place with unease. Nothing happens for a few minutes and, somewhat annoyed, I look up.
Kai has one of his eyebrows raised, seeming genuinely surprised. "You did your homework, it seems." He pushes himself off of his chair, slowly walking to me. I regret opening my mouth. "Or shall I say..." His feet stop. "Jeon Somi did her homework."
I glance up with shock glazing my eyes. "Y-you were the one who—"
"—killed her? She kind of deserved it for being a nosy bitch, not gonna lie."
You have to be kidding me. Somi, was this the guy you talked so highly of? Because I can't see it. I can't see any of it and I can't help but question every single thing she had confessed through that video of hers. I want to believe her— believe me, I do. I want to cry, maybe even scream out of frustration. Kai Kamal Huening is fucking unbelievable.
Suddenly, I can't breathe, my throat constricting itself. My eyes burn with the threatening tears but I seize it all, staring at the boy in front of me with sheer disbelief. "She- she was trying to help you!" I shout in a whisper. My hand work on their own accord and find themselves in the collar of the other's formal shirt. "She was trying to save you, you fucker!"
His smirk drops and, if I wasn't blinded with rage, I would've run away. A dry, humourless chuckle escapes his lips and my hold tightens, knuckles turning white.
"Save me?" Then he falls into another laughing fit. By now, my patience starts to wear off. "Save me, you say." Everything is amusing for him, I wonder if he feels anything. Who even is he— the guy who was mourning over his friend only a few minutes ago or the guy who brutally murdered a seventeen-year-old and several others.
"I swear to god, Huening, I will break your jaw if you didn't stop."
He abstains to follow my order. "I am sorry, it's just— too funny for me."
And I can hold back no longer.
Slap!
Kai's face is thrown to the side, his laughs dying instantly. He stares at the floor with an unreadable expression. "You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved, Shin." His eyes slowly come to rest upon me. I gulp. "Where was she when I was begging for life? Where was your great Jeon Somi when I was fighting with myself?"
I feel his fingers circle around my wrist before they loosen their hold on his collar, falling to my sides. And I almost can't believe my eyes when I see a distant, sad smile on his face. "None of you know how disgusted I was with myself. Every day, I used to wish that I fall asleep and never wake up. Everything reminded me of...that night and it was making life a living hell." He pauses, sneering. "Where was Somi then, huh?"
I find myself at a loss of words. To my dismay, his argument is valid enough. I helplessly goggle at the boy sleeping peacefully behind Kai. They've been through a lot together.
"Just get to the point already, Ryujin-ah. You just want to know where I am keeping your girlfriend." I blink out of my reverie, glancing back at the brunette.
"What do you mean?"
And the smirk is back. "You have twenty-four hours to find Hwang Yeji. And be quick, time holds for none." He leans closer, almost comfortably so before whispering, "tick, tock, tick...." With that, he leaves the room and me with a thousand questions left unanswered.
KAI'S POV
"CHOI?!"
My voice echoes in the cottage, the planks creaking under the sole of my shoes. I trudge into the adobe, eyes automatically falling on a familiar figure.
Jung Wooyoung definitely wasn't expecting my presence, judging from the way he comes to his feet in an instant. "Hyuka? You—"
"Where the fuck is Choi?!" I growl out, throwing daggers at the puzzled individual. He keeps down the gun he has been polishing on the table.
"He is...upstairs."
At once, my eyes dart to the winding staircase leading to the first floor. "I will kill him." I grit out, storming my way to it. How stupid of me to trust anyone at all. I knew I'd be betrayed one day or the other. Not from him, though. Out of everyone, I trusted him the most.
My blood is boiling as I throw open the door to the room, finding a certain lemon-head resting on the bed with no care in the world whatsoever. His gaze is rested somewhere outside the window, maybe the rain or the lightning— I can care less.
"You are finally here, I see." He turns to face me. His eyes are hollow and have heavy bags beneath. "I am guessing Taehyun told you everything."
"Don't even utter his name, Choi Yeonjun! You don't deserve that privilege." I launch myself at him, going for his throat and taking a grip. Yeonjun doesn't react, lifelessly watching me manhandling him. It's infuriating. "I knew something was wrong with those pills!"
"Yet you were unable to identify it. How very stupid of you, darling."
"Shut the fuck up, bastard!" Another set of hands joins mine, trying to get them away from Yeonjun. Wooyoung tries to pull me away but to no avail. I am not stopping at this. Choi Yeonjun deserves to die. "I trusted you, mother fucker! I actually thought you—" I choke on a sob. My head throbs and I want to throw up. "I hate you."
"Stop it, Kai! Or I'll call the goons!" I shoot a death glare at Wooyoung, a murderous intent already cooking in my head. However, for this once, I oblige just because I want answers. I retrieve my hand and gulp, gaining demeanour back to its place. My face snaps back to Yeonjun who still refrains from showing any emotion. "Speak up!"
As if to annoy me, the man takes his time. A while passes and fully decide upon fucking the answers and just go for the kill. But, just then, Wooyoung speaks up, his gaze cast to the floor beneath. "He had no choice... They would've killed Soobin-ssi otherwise."
Oh, this is what's it about. It's the damned heart. I want to laugh. "And so you chose him over me." It's not a question, nor is it a statement. I don't even know what's happening now. Everything confuses me.
Yeonjun's face falls and, for the first time that night, he shows emotion.
Guilt.
"I hate myself for it as well, Hyuka. Trust me."
"But you chose him and... Destroyed me." I don't try to hide my tears any longer. I have held them back enough. "You are a fucking murderer, Hyung. You killed me."
He doesn't say anything, weeping to himself in silent misery. He knows what blunder he has done, and even god won't forgive him.
I hope you burn in hell, Choi Yeonjun.
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈
A/N ¡! ❝On a scale of one to five, tell me how much you feel like murdering me. I feel like I've given enough reason for you to do that *chuckles in danger*
But yeah, don't be mad at Yeonjun. He is a nice bean.
Hope you didn't hate this chapter that much~❞